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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

You're not ill, just pregnant...

53 replies

hereharehere33 · 05/09/2014 07:32

Arhhhhhh! But I feel so ill! I know it's meant to be 'The most natural thing' etc etc but it's difficult to function when I feel so nauseous and have my head down the toilet most days I'm struggling at work with limited concentration and my work load is building up. Hence, the house isn't as clean as it should be, the washing basket is always overflowing and all I want to do is sleep as im exhuasted and it's the only time I don't feel sick! Anyway I my MIL has said to my DH 'gosh, she's not ill, just pregnant-when I was pregnant I worked, cooked, cleaned, looked after all of you..etc'

Am I just not coping as well?!

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DizzyKipper · 05/09/2014 07:56

She's seriously lacking in empathy and just trying to point score and put you down. Pregnancy can and does make you ill, not only with MS but there are other conditions that might flare up such as SPD/PGP, varicose veins, pre-eclampsia, GD, insomnia etc. It's certainly not a walk in the park. It irks me when people try to put you down in this way, no pregnancy is the same and just because 1 person may have had a relatively easy ride that doesn't mean it's the same for everyone!

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/09/2014 07:58

And did your DH jump to your defense?

DizzyKipper · 05/09/2014 08:00

Ditto, I hope your DH stuck up for you!

kahori · 05/09/2014 08:04

Are you keeping food/liquids down at all? I had HG in both pregnancies and believe me it is possible to be pregnant and ill because of it. I needed hospitalisation and a drip to be rehydrated. There are medications which are safe.

Tiredness makes it a lot worse in my experience.

hmmmum · 05/09/2014 08:10

Don't listen to her, lots of people massively struggle with being pregnant, it can be really hard-going! Are you in your first trimester? The exhaustion and nausea is crazy. You're "just" growing an entirely new human being! Your body is undergoing huge changes. I could barely function during my first trimester, my poor three year old watched ALOT of cbeebies at the time!

Cookiepants · 05/09/2014 08:11

Anyone who said that to me would have got a smack in the mouth! I had nausea and vomiting throughout (x2 fillings as teeth crumbled) SPD/PGP, palpitations, blackouts x2 UTIs and a bout of shingles !

I have never been so "ill" in all my life. People are sooo unsympathetic and the ones who had strait forward pgs are the worst! Look after yourself and your baby, everything and everyone else can do one!

lunar1 · 05/09/2014 08:13

I could have happily stabbed someone that said that to me, I was sick 30-40 times a day throughout my pregnancies. In fact the only thing that prevented people coming to harm was my lack of energy and the act of stabbing would have made me sick again! I don't know why but some women love to point score over pregnancy.

Original poster

hereharehere33 · 05/09/2014 08:13

Yeah DH did and he just tired to made it into a bit of a joke really. He's obviously witnessed the vomiting! He's been good looking after our first DS over the weekends so I can try and catch up on some sleep.
I just can't help but think that she got a point though-I guess women did just have to cope back in the day? So when I'm lying in bed, I feel guilty and that I I'm somehow just weak! As you say no one pregnancy is the same and I feel very envious of my friends that appeared to sail through their pregnancies.
Sorry just having a whinge really so so fed up of feeling queasy ALL the time!!

OP posts:

ToAvoidConversation · 05/09/2014 08:15

That's a fairly traditional attitudes but she's talking bollocks. I've been off sick for three weeks because I'm pregnant, the last two weeks I've been signed off by a doctor as unfit to work so am pretty sure I'm ill as a result of the pregnancy. With two hospital admissions in the past four weeks.

DizzyKipper · 05/09/2014 08:16

No need for sorry, I whinge about being pregnant every day

lizziludlow · 05/09/2014 08:18

I can relate to how you feel. Sick all day long and just want to sleep. All chores at home falling behind and have been signed off work for a week. I just can't function!

I hope it all improves for you very soon and you feel better. X

BaronessBomburst · 05/09/2014 08:19

No, women didn't just have to cope back in the day. They got looked after by their mothers, friends, and neighbours, and housework didn't get done.
Some women can be very ill from being pregnant. Your MIL is being a naive idiot at best, a complete bitch at worst.

Littlef00t · 05/09/2014 08:20

I'd never felt so ill as I did for the first 2 months of my pregnancy. I've just got over a horrible vomiting bug and actually, once the actual vomiting was over and I was just feeling washed out and nauseous I had flashbacks to the first trimester. I can't believe I felt like that for weeks and weeks and managed to function.

ThursdayLast · 05/09/2014 08:20

Seriously, when is it ok to go to someone's house and comment on how tidy it is/isnt???

NEVER!

Just ignore her. I did have a straightforward pg and I was still bloody knackered.
And get your DH to do some washing!

IfNotNowThenWhen · 05/09/2014 08:20

Why do you think women coped any differently back in the day? Probably people lived with more extended family around; my granny for example, had 4 sisters, all close, and I'm sure they would have helped out with chikdcare/cleaning etc. Your MIL is just a cah. Some people breeze through pregnancy, some people do get pregnancy related illnesses- no different to getting any other sort of illess.

MagnificentMaleficent · 05/09/2014 08:21

Oh ignore the miserable cow her.

Some pregnancies are worse than some illnesses so she's talking bollocks.

If you had to cope you would, and do when you are at work for example, so when you get chance to sleep/lie down take it.

And take solace in the fact that, ime, it is much easier to have a baby and a dc than to having a crappy pregnancy and a dc.

cailindana · 05/09/2014 08:21

But you are ill! It's possible to be pregnant a very healthy and full of beans or it's possible to be pregnant and very ill, as you are.
Women only had to soldier on in times past because it suited men not to have to step up and look after their own partners and children. IMO older women get shirty about younger women "having it easy" because they're jealous and they realise they didn't in fact have to run themselves ragged taking care of everything (including their lazy partners) they could have quite rightly been looked after while they did the essential job of growing a baby.
Tell your MIL to get lost.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 05/09/2014 08:22

X post with Baroness !

Greyhound · 05/09/2014 08:23

I hate the "pregnancy" is not an illness crap.

I have never felt as ill as I did when pregnant.

Your smug MIL should shut her mouth.

JustAShopGirl · 05/09/2014 08:29

Some people get ill anyway (chest infections don't avoid pregnant women - even those going through an emergency CS - was not fun recovering from that! cough, ouch..cough ouch....) , some people get ill BECAUSE of being pregnant and some people sail through... most are somewhere along the scale in the middle.

I found laying on the smarmyness worked with mine - "Oh you were soooooooooooo lucky to not get sick, 30 times a day with my head down the loo, if ONLY I could be as lucky as you were, so nice for some women who don't have to go through this..., but it is lovely to have everyone so concerned and willing to help - is there any chance you could take the ironing - would be sooooooo helpful..." etc -

guilt the beggar into helping out instead of whinging about you... also had the advantage that she would "brag" about helping and about me "poor darling - having such an awful time of it" which meant everyone else in the family kept their opinions to themselves and actually offered to help out too...

Droflove · 05/09/2014 08:56

For some people pregnancy is not an illness, for others it will be the sickest you have ever been in your life. You MIL is a dick and simply has no idea.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 05/09/2014 08:56

I agree she's a cah. It's not a competition, it's just luck. She should be grateful she was capable of carrying on as normal. I had a pretty good pregnancy, but not because I'm especially worthy or did anything special, it's just the way it is.

tak1ngchances · 05/09/2014 09:04

I have to say, that attitude drove me mental. I got told I was precious and over reacting and "other people just soldier on".
This was with anaemia and constant vomiting in first trimester, more vomiting in second trimester, and sciatica and gallstones now in the third trimester.

I pushed on through many times to try and prove myself and now I really wish I hadn't bothered. I've decided my attitude is I don't give a SHIT what anyone thinks of me anymore and I just need to trust my instincts.

Chunderella · 05/09/2014 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squizita · 05/09/2014 09:26

Pregnancy varies wildly. You're not ill but it is a medical condition (something that both the very stiff upper lip brigade and the lentil weavers find inconvenient and ignore). Symptoms vary from person to person.

I hope DH defended you.

I have an "invisible illness" ... ironically pregnancy has been easier than other times when I have had flare ups (well, provided I injected myself with anticoagulants daily and did some tough back stretches). But I'm infuriated when lucky people act morally superior because they were LUCKY with vomiting or whatever.
It's the same attitude as "you don't look ill... you just keep a stick at work for effect" grr.

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