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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

am i weird? not telling people

31 replies

gincamelbak · 11/08/2014 21:04

I'm 14weeks pregnant with second child and feel a bit... meh about telling people. I've told my parents and sister, H told his parents and sister, one aunt and one uncle. I've told a few friends and so has he. Also told my boss last week and one work colleague (who told a few other people in the office). Apart from that, I haven't told anyone. Is that odd? I just feel a bit odd about texting or ringing other family and friends "guess what, H knocked me up again!" and definitely am not interested in splashing it all over facebook.

Is this weird? fairly normal for second child?

how did other people get the news out, other than just turning up to social events (pah! who am i kidding, afternoons at soft play) with a massive bump?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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olivo · 11/08/2014 21:06

Not weird at all,If I was to have another! I wouldn't tell people. Unfortunately, with both of mine, I had a mahoosive bumps dr about10 weeks!

Congratulations, by the way!

Original poster

gincamelbak · 11/08/2014 21:15

ah, thank you.
i think i'll just carry on and let the bump (bloat) do the talking. which will probably be "CHUBBY PERSON!"

OP posts:

Marnierose · 11/08/2014 22:15

Not weird. I waited until 20 weeks to make it public knowledge.

wingcommandergallic · 11/08/2014 22:18

I'm exactly the same. Told parents and that's it. I'll have to tell manager at work soon but I'm not at all fussed about letting anyone else know.

My mother is dying to tell people but I'm making her wait......probably around 30 week's time!

Rivercam · 11/08/2014 22:21

In the not so distant past, people routinely didn't others about their pregnancy until the 12 week scan, so. Or telling people at 14 weeks would not have seemed unusual. Today, you seem to know almost instantly.

I think it's actually quite difficult to bring it up in conversation, unless you suddenly don't drink, or start suffering from morning sickness.

Showy · 11/08/2014 22:21

I told nobody at all 2nd time round. Put some pictures of him on fb once he was here. It seemed vulgar talking about in the weirdest way.

Woodenheart · 11/08/2014 22:23

I waited until 20 weeks.

ohthegoats · 11/08/2014 22:24

I didn't tell anyone about my first. Finally at around 19 weeks my mum told me off and gave me a list of people to call. I ignored it for another week or so, then phoned a couple and left them to tell everyone else. It's a weird piece of news to tell - there are definitely some of my friends who still don't know (obviously not ones I see regularly!). People at my book club didn't notice at 24 weeks, so I didn't tell them, then finally someone else did and I got a load of surprised/pissed off emails! Ha.

ffallada · 11/08/2014 22:28

I also think its not weird - I told parents, friends I have seen, no-one else. Seems a funny thing to broadcast online. this is my first so I have no blueprint. A LOT of my friends put LOTs of details online. Plan to announce the birth tho....

Amazed at how many people just assume I've put on weight :)

Pico2 · 11/08/2014 22:29

No - not weird. It isn't something I bring up in conversation. If people ask if we want any more children then I say that we are having one. But otherwise I leave it until DD mentions it or someone who knows tells someone else.

Floop · 11/08/2014 22:31

River. I still wouldn't tell before the 12 week scan. If something is going to go wrong I want to grieve in private.

MrsReiver · 11/08/2014 22:33

A lot of folk found out I was pregnant when they saw me out with a newborn. The perils of being a fat lass heavily pregnant in winter who doesn't share everything on Facebook.

Fcukfifa · 11/08/2014 22:36

I hardly told anyone with my second, I can't even explain why.
Just can't be bothered with all the weird shit and 'advice' people come out with and hate people fussing over me.

We only told our parents, my sister and my best friend.

I made it until 6 months when people started noticing then just left it to the domino effect to let people know.

Definitely didn't put it on fb, don't understand the 'press release' announcements

SomeSunnySunday · 11/08/2014 22:48

Not weird IMO. I didn't tell anyone (family and a couple of very close friends aside) with this current pregnancy (DC3) until after my 20 week scan. And even then there was no "big announcement" - I texted about 5 close friends, phoned a couple of relatives, and let my mum know that the news was no longer embargoed, should she wish to share it. I'll just tell other people as I see them - if I see them - and I definitely don't put pregnancy related stuff on Facebook (not that I use it much), although I'll probably put a newborn pic on. I just don't really like fuss. I took a similar approach with DC2, but did tell people at around 14 weeks with DC1 - it had an element of novelty value then!

TheScenicRoute · 12/08/2014 18:36

I feel the same, my first pregnancy and I'm dreading (and a bit defensive) about 'advice'. However, I am HUGE at only 11weeks and a bit embarrassed about that - partly because of megatastic bloating and secondly because of the steroids I'm on and the insatiable eating it's making me do. I'm desperate to explain that a way, but then I'd love to erase everyone's memory. I have no plans to announce it, but I'll prob quietly tell people as it becomes appropriate.

JennyBlueWren · 12/08/2014 20:14

We announced through Facebook and it spread from there (althoguh told family personally). I'd have been happy not announcing till much later but DH was desperate to get people's reactions and I think quite a lot of people were expecting it though.

MultipleMama · 12/08/2014 21:13

This is baby #7 we just tell our immediate family (my dad, brother, cousin, PiL, BiL and my GPs in Russia) and leave them to gossip and spread the news to the rest. Friends find out by seeing my bump and asking I'm more 'meh' at answering their questions when friends/extended family text call me. DH writes an email for and sends to all, he uses this system for birth too

ChickenMe · 13/08/2014 12:46

We would've told no one apart from my best friend until 12 weeks but I do a dangerous job so had to tell my boss and immediate team. So far they've been great and it's not got out. But I look fat and have had to dress differently.
It's not going anywhere near FB. Not even sure if it'll be on there once it's born. We are pretty private and I like the fact not many people know.

EmmaFeb2015 · 13/08/2014 12:55

I am totally the same. It's our first.

When I first found out I was (finally) pregnant we couldnt wait to tell everyone (family and close friends)and let our wider group of friends know via Facebook.

However now we've had the first scan and should be able to start telling people, I really dont want to!!! I've become weirdly protective of the little private bubble that me and OH have been living in. The thought of announcing it on FB just seems really wrong for some reason now. I think we'll tell those close to us and let others find out as and when.

Agree with not wanting loads of advice too... for some bizarre reason the thought of it fills me with rage!!! Deary me!

kitkat321 · 13/08/2014 13:41

I don't think it's weird.

I told only a couple of people before my 12 week scan and then very few others until after the 20 scan - I imagine some people probably knew anyway since it looked like I had stuffed a football up my jumper!

hashtagwhatever · 13/08/2014 13:43

I don't think it's weird.

I have four dc and never told anybody before atleast 20 weeks. I find people touching my stomach and all the questions uncomfortable hence why I left it later.

ShovettyMcShovetty · 13/08/2014 14:12

Not weird at all! This is my first and I really didn't want to tell anyone outside close friends and family. I told my line manager at work after my first scan and let her tell other people. She was very sweet and kept asking if I minded her telling people - I really didn't care if people knew I just didn't want to do the whole big accouncement thing! I found it a bit cringey. My DH still hasn't told anyone except his line manager at work and I am 23 weeks! I think for the same reason really.

jaykay34 · 13/08/2014 15:24

I'm a little different in the fact that I didnt know I was pregnant until I was 15 weeks (and was basically walking around in shock ) - plus was having periods up until 20 weeks - so didnt tell people until I knew everything was ok at 20 week scan !

However, I haven't made any facebook announcements at all...we basically told close friends and family... and any other people have found out when they have seen me.

I find it quite a personal thing...yes I am happy about it...but don't see it as everybody's business.

Bangonthedoor · 13/08/2014 15:29

Not weird in my eyes! I'm 14+5 with our second and have told our families and a couple of friends. I'm not a Facebook announcer either....

I told my boss at work quite early on but purely for work purposes but don't plan on telling anyone else at work. They are all such gossips they are probably already talking about it anyway! I've ordered my maternity uniform and only there part time so chances are someone else would have opened the parcel....ha that will get them talking!

I'm just happy for people to find out on there own

LittlePink · 13/08/2014 17:48

I don't know what to do about facebook. Im 19+3 and still haven't announced it. I don't really plan to I don't think. I just think that everyone who cares about me already knows. Plus theres still a good friend I haven't seen for a while and want to tell her face to face rather than her find out like that. The other reason is when I was overdue with DD I got inundated with old school "friends" that I haven't spoken to in 20 yrs leaving messages on my page asking if there was any news. I was getting really fed up with it and was very over sensitive in the last couple of weeks as I went to 42 weeks and didn't need people asking all the time if there was any news. It got very irritating. This time I think im just going to announce it once the baby has arrived with a picture of here s/he is. That'll shock everyone!

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