Alone with toddler for 3rd trimester. Hire help? Anyone similar?

[Lucy955]

Hello,

Is anyone else been in a similar position? My DH is away with the army for the last few months of the pregnancy but should be back a week before the birth. I don't have any family or close friends I can call on as we have recently moved to a new area. At the moment I've hired someone to help with the cleaning and walk the dogs, ordered some very nice organic meals to be delivered and I'm focusing all my limited energy on looking after DS. However, I am wondering if I will need help caring for (and particularly lifting) my 30lb very active son towards the end. What are other people doing. This can't be that unusual? Am I naive for assuming it will all be fine?

Lucy

I think you will probably be absolutely fine, especially if you already have help with cooking/cleaning. Pregnant women have been looking after toddlers for centuries. If you have money to spare and can easily afford to hire help then why not, but I don't think it's a must have. I'm a childminder and planning on looking after a baby, a toddler and several older children up until about 2 weeks before my due date.

Hi Lucy - I'm 34 weeks with twins and my husband has been away since beginning of June, due back when I'm 36 weeks. I'm home with my two year old. It's been fine up until this week where I seem to have hit a wall - probably not helped by the weather. Extremely tired and difficulty moving around. Today my son watched way too much tv, but i didn't have the energy for anything. Fortunately I have friends and family close by who are able to help out most days. If you don't and can afford to, I'd definitely be looking in to hiring some help. Perhaps a nanny who can take your toddler out to let off steam for an hour or so, that kind of thing?

Thanks to you both. And yes I know women have been looking after children pregnant for centuries and I may be being silly, but I suppose I assume most have family or someone on hand for if something goes wrong. I have to say I think you are very brave busydays. Do you have to lift the children you look after? Its bathing my DS I'm most worried about. Is this your first pregnancy or have you managed before?

Thanks. Yes I think i might have a look at a few nurseries. I suppose it would do him some good to play with some other children and burn of some energy too.

If you are healthy and having a straightforward pregnancy you will be absolutely fine. Dont worry!

Lucy I think if you can afford some help perhaps someone temp for 6wks to come in as a mother's help would be useful could just have them do 3 days and just mornings or afternoons maybe 2-7 so you get an afternoon nap they can take toddler out help with eve mealtime bath n bed especially if he is heavy to lift.

I would perhaps look for a uni student on hols or someone about to start uni as they will have Oct start/return date prob lots people doing child related courses so student teachers, child psychology degrees, people about to start med degrees. I would imagine depending where you are you will find a willing and able person.

If you can afford the help and feel it would give you a break then do it. You may not strictly need it and quite probably would cope fine on your own. But you don't have anything to prove, I think having a mother's help of some kind would be win win.

Actually I would be worried about lifting ds at that stage, my dd has to be lifted in and out of a high bath and it is pretty uncomfortable now (31 wks) and I do get dh to do it where I can. I've got dd in nursery 3 hrs per day, I reckon that light be the right to blow off steam and not go stir crazy at home. I'm rapidly losing energy for playing games and dancing around etc so I would set up some relief childcare if you can, especially of the 'wear him out' type!

We sometimes do outside showers with a watering can and groundsheets for drying as a special treat for toddlers when I CBA to lift him in and out of bath. Obv this relies on having an outside space to do it in - but there is much excitement about putting on swimming shorts!

Can he get in and out of the bath himself, if you use a step and hold his hands?

Thanks all. I doute he is up to climbing in and input of the bath. He is has only been walking a month. X

I didn't think lifting was an issue if your used to lifting that sort of weight, so mums with toddlers have the strength to safely lift a 30 pound toddler because they do it everyday. I carry my 18 month old around, even up and down 4 flights of stairs everyday and I'm just coming into my 3rd trimester.

When I was pregnant with ds1 I worked with small children right up until his due date, I struggled with getting up from the floor but I never had to stop picking the children up.

The lack of a backup person in the event of early labour would be more of a worry for me, do you have any friends you could call?

I have just moved to a new area. I have lovely friends who I'm sure would help but they are also at least two hours away. I know no one here at all.

Lucy

That sounds like a really tricky situation, I think in that case I'd get some casual babysitters, maybe even 2 or 3 so if you do go into labour a little early you'd have somepeople your child is familiar with who may be able to come and look after him.