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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

The things it's not socially acceptable to admit....

63 replies

ohthegoats · 29/05/2014 17:17

... things like, since I got pregnant I've spent quite a chunk of time mourning the life I now WON'T have. Today is particularly bad, I just had a follow-up email from VSO about an interview I had in 2012. Details of available jobs in Asia and Africa. Then I started thinking about the international development MSc I planned on doing, but have been persuaded to postpone for now.

I'm a selfish mother already!

Anyone else got any?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

frankiebuns · 29/05/2014 19:04

I had a job I loved but was only seasonal and a life style I loved yes I did mourn for a life I was loosing and sometimes I still do but I wouldntg change this for the world now!

RAFWife12 · 29/05/2014 19:14

I was ashamed to admit I have hated pretty much every moment of being pregnant. That was until colleagues told me they hated it too and saw it only as a means to an end. (I had morning sickness, fatigue, heartburn starting at 10 weeks, SPD and pelvic girdle pain, and insomnia. I never got that "amazing" second trimester).
I think it's natural to mourn the life you won't have. Life will literally never be the same again. It doesn't make you a selfish mother. And it doesn't mean you can't do things later in life.

Scotinoz · 29/05/2014 20:32

I'd like to give up breastfeeding. Would like to have my breasts as my own again and it's pretty much sucked the desire for sex out of me.

Feel to guilty, failure, judged etc to ditch it.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 29/05/2014 20:36

That when you get towards the end of your pregnancy and go to wipe after a pee and your whole "gusset" area just seems a lot lower. Not saggy, oh no, just an inch or so closer to your hand than you are used to.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 29/05/2014 20:38

Oh and that babies are duuuullllllll.

porcito · 29/05/2014 20:44

Travelling, chance for promotion at work involving lots of travel, not being able to do my Masters as I'd planned. (Even though we very much wanted and planned for this baby.)

However, my mindset is that I can still do all of these things, just not this year. Possibly naively, but I really believe that a baby doesn't HAVE to stop you doing a lot of things you had planned. I don't think it has to be the case where you're indoors talking babies all day, unless that's what you want. (In a year I might eat my words, but I don't think so!)

I'm lucky in that my job means I can still move around a fair bit - yes, more difficult with a baby, but not impossible. And the positives it will bring (hopefully) will outweigh delaying those chances.

RedCountryRoads · 29/05/2014 20:44

Mourning the binge drinking saturday nights and the hangover sundays.
And holidays wont be the same again.
Just being selfish and thinking about myself first. No more :(

CanISayOfHerFace · 29/05/2014 20:51

Sunny bank holidays have made me miss all day cider drinking sessions and chain smoking!

squizita · 29/05/2014 22:14

I miss booze, coffee and runny cheese.
I know I could have got a promotion next year but I won't be there, so will need to wait several more years (probably better for childcare etc but I'm just plain jealous!).
I might get saggy boobs etc and there's nowt I can do.
I will have to lose my long nails as I guess they won't mix well with baby poo and so forth. I've had proper nail art for 10 yr+, it's 'my thing'.

Moi, shallow?

Elastigrrrl · 29/05/2014 22:36

Ha! Totally, ThinkIvebeenhacked! Around 37 or 38 weeks, went for a wee and was like, uh, where'd that come from??

pommedeterre · 29/05/2014 22:41

Huge piles, recurrent thrush and the swollen varicose veins. Making your whole undercarriage a no go area.

Gennz · 30/05/2014 01:23

I miss binge drinking and having the occasional sneaky ciggie. It was no hardship for me to knock the drinking or social smoking on the head but I still miss it.

I hate being pregnant and I don't feel maternal. I am positive that I will love my baby and find him or her fascinating, but that doesn't make me maternal or interested in babies generally! I find baby chit-chat at work mind-numbing.

Lanabelle · 30/05/2014 01:36

I genuinely never had any of these. I loved every pregnancy and the baby stages. I find I get looks and comments from friends and family and colleagues because I want to do it again, I always want another one and after every one they all say - is that you done now? or in 5 years you can work full time again etc. I miss my bump, boobs, I miss the waddling, I even miss the heartburn and sickness. I liked getting up in the night, BF was hard at first but I missed the closeness after weaning. No one else get that?

Gennz · 30/05/2014 01:38

How many do you have Lana? I genuinely can't imagine feeling like that.

Lanabelle · 30/05/2014 01:47

and ready to do it all again. I get really annoyed sometimes at people who think it was somehow forced upon me, Don't get me wrong, I love my job but I prefer being mum and wife better. Part time suits me and its just enough so I don't hate the place. The one thing I don't rally like is the swollen feet and hands but everything else I don't mind.

Lisad1975 · 30/05/2014 03:52

Well I do miss things already lol and as much as I am
Thrilled and looking forward to meeting baby I really had no idea how my body and mind would change !
I miss feeling sexy and desired in a way and I already miss the good sex we had lol it just feels odd at the mo even tho I really want it ! I am 17 weeks.
I kinda miss my appetite too oh and a runny egg lol and drinking socially! There are lots of events going on this year typical lol but actually dont miss hangovers !
I also miss pushing myself in my gym classes as weird as that sounds !!
But its not for long I guess ! We are all on a very exciting journey :))

PenelopeLane · 30/05/2014 04:02

When I was pregnant with my first I had nightmares about some of the things I couldn't do anymore so do understand! Especially travel to exotic places. In one dream I was trying to board a plane with a baby and the airline staff wouldn't let me

Once I had him, though, I ceased to mind and haven't looked back

oohdaddypig · 30/05/2014 04:36

I love my kids but HATE pregnancy. I will never miss the constant horrendous nausea and retching. The smells. that i cant sit next to someone who used persil without retching.

I completely see pregnancy as a nauseous means to a wonderful end

I find my kids more interesting as they get older. I enjoy the baby stage but find toddlers such hard work.

MrsMonkeyBear · 30/05/2014 04:39

I hate the pain and the heartburn that came along with the pregnancy. What I miss most though is being able to buy a bra that costs less than £20!!!! I just had to buy a bra with more silk than a parachute and that cost the same as my mortgage!!!!

crazylady2013 · 30/05/2014 06:53

I have the odd day when I realise what I have had to give up and get down about it. Yesterday my boss sent me an email about a conference I would have jumped at the chance of going to as it is back in my home country but I will only have just given birth so there is no way I can make it . Or I see all my roller derby friends having an amazing time on track and wish I was with them learning all the new skills and having all the fun. I know I can go back to that in the near future but it will still be different and good in other ways .

Incandescentrage · 30/05/2014 07:03

I miss being able to do what I want when I want. I still get to do my own thing. But I have to schedule it. I miss spontaneity.

Oh and sex in the morning.

pommedeterre · 30/05/2014 07:19

Oh yes, the drink! Only 14 weeks to go!

Work opportunities that have to be skipped are heart wrenching but i have two small dc and another on the way and overall work is good. It's taken quite a lot of being strategic to get here though.

bronya · 30/05/2014 07:23

I can honestly say that I did all the things I wanted to do before I decided to have children. There are still some things I'll fit in when they're older, but they are 'it'd be nice' things rather than, 'I'd love to....'. I don't enjoy pregnancy (or the first 3 months of sleep deprivation!), but the end result is so worth it. My DS makes me smile every day. He's worth it a million times over.

notadoctor · 30/05/2014 07:28

Lana - I feel like that. I'm only on DC2 but straight after giving birth, staring at him and smelling his lovely newborn smell I had a really strong sensation of "please don't let this be the last time I get to feel like this".

The thing I feel guilty about is not missing my old life at all! I used to love my job but when I went back part time after DD1 I just didn't care about it all any more - I sometimes feel like I am letting down the feminist cause and it's not at all how I thought I'd be but that's what babies have done to me!

I think the thing no one can prepare you is how totally different to anyone else you'll feel.

Mrsantithetic · 30/05/2014 07:31

Lie ins. I used to lay in bed on my days off until noon.

Now - I'm chuffed if I get to stay in bed until 7.

The daftest bit? Even when I get my weekly lie in I get up at 9 because I miss her!

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