Hyperemesis Support

[LucindaE]

I hope everyone suffering from the Horrors of Hyperemesis will find this thread useful as a source of support and information.

There's no TMI on here - can't be by definition - and nobody should feel ashamed of moaning as much as they feel the need to.

MOH's wonderful website is full of useful information on this illness:
sites.google.com/site/pregnancysicknesssos/
Another invaluable website is:
www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/
If you need help in obtaining medication, this phone number is
brilliant:
024 7638 2020

Lastly, the NICE guidelines on treatment are useful:
cks.nice.org.uk/nauseavomiting-in-pregnancy#!prescribinginfosub

I would like to thank Everyone who has given such invaluable support and advice on this and on previous threads.

Remember when you are at your worst, 'This Too Shall Pass'. It really will.
So many women on this thread have thought they couldn't get through this, but they did.

Meerka
You should be double proud of your hardiness! Surviving HG then a natural birth!!! Good work :-) x

YAY! Congratulations Meerka!!! Lovely name, welcome little Willem!

Hi George, welcome to the thread. Sorry you are having such a rough time of it.

mrsnec what a weird attitude your DH has! Why would anyone deny the existence of a medical condition? Is this really about HG or it a way for expressing his stress about the pregnancy? My DP went completely bonkers over my first pregnancy even though we had been TTC for a while and it was hardly a surprise.

Congratulations meerka I'm so pleased for you that pregnancy is over at last! Enjoy your (doubtlessly) beautiful little boy. I am however that you didn't get ANY pain relief? That's outrageous, hope you're ok now!

Thanks everyone for your support..It's inspiring to hear of people making it to the birth..Not quite sure how I'm going to get through the next 5 months though guess I have to somehow! Can't believe I never knew until now how sick people could get(and I know there are people worse then me)..i have so much admiration for all the women who go through this some again and again.I don't think I will be doing it again though very excited to meet my little one.

Meeeeeerkaaaaa you made it!! Gefeliciteerd!! Oh I am so so happy for you all! Please send us a pic?

George I totally get you. HG 100% sucks. The loneliness is terrible. My parents drop by and my DH often works from home but even so the days just drag on and on. This thread really helps with the sanity though. Having people who understand (and where you can rant all you want) is a godsend. All I can say is hang on in there. As Lucinda says in the title thing 'this too shall pass' and things like Meerka's baby arriving make me believe I might just survive this.

punk yes DS is 17 months and STILL doesn't sleep through the night, not to mention regularly wakes up at 5am. Nightmare! It's going to be hard enough on my DH/MIL etc as it is if I am anywhere near as ill as last time, but at least with a nanny there's no fetching and carrying and also for DS I feel it will help him to have one person just there for him, who can adjust what they do etc depending on how he is coping and could even e.g. bring him to visit me in hospital. Anyway it was a huge business making the switch but actually she seems really really good. I left just after they went out for a walk this morning and I saw them ahead of me, she was pushing the buggy and holding his hand so that he could walk (he's walking independently but not very confident). She says they walk pretty much everywhere which is wonderful for him but you have to be so patient at that age, he's so slow! I was so touched seeing them heading off together and I have a really good feeling about her.

I have been pregnant three times (two v. early losses at about 5 weeks and then DS) and I conceived three months in a row (Jan, Feb and March 2012), they are the only three months of my entire life that I haven't used contraception! So while we are realistic that it might take months, especially as we are a lot more stressed/tired/busy than we were at the beginning of 2012, I think we also have to be prepared for the possibility that it is very quick again. I also got extremely ill very quickly - before I even missed my period and was in hospital by the end of week 5 - so that's why we are trying to be 100% prepared before we even begin trying.

Hope everyone is bearing up.

Kali I'm in awe. Both at your forward planning and bravery at doing this again. I really don't see how I could ever face this again.

mrsnec that's very strange of your DH and not at all supportive. I think boo might be correct and he's misconstruing his anxieties all onto you. It sounds like there is a lot going on for you guys - but no excuse to make you feel so bad. My dh is definitely struggling (another fight in the car over me wanting to take the baby to stay with my parents in late July and him staying here and moving us out until we can both be in Scotland at the start of August - is that unreasonable of me?) and I'm feeling pretty unsupported right now albeit in other ways.

He's never, however, denied the severity of HG! Although I think he underestimates how draining it is. I'm sipping on my diet coke (tap from McDs, have another in the fridge, heaven) and hiding on mn and have decided to ignore him until he sorts himself out

george the isolation is tough. I think most of us have been pretty housebound. I had to stop work at 17 weeks which was a relief but lordy it has been boring as all my friends work in the next city along and I see people perhaps once a month. I tried really hard to get out and walk as much as possible but it has been almost impossible. As a result I have a sad looking (and fat) Jack Russell who bless has been very understanding in a doggie kind of way!

punk that is so sad about the HG and ladies terminating. Shocking really. If I ever decide to do this again I don't think I could terminate but I can really understand why women choose to do so. I feel like dead man walking.

I am up against the same Calvinist Dutch system but there was talk of a potential c section so I fully intend to exploit the bipolar angle and see if it can be done, fingers crossed :) I suspect not but at least I know I won't go over 40 weeks as they won't let that happen.

In the meantime, back to my quarter pounder. God if I never have another McDonalds after this is over it will be too soon.

Meerka Huge congratulations, my goodness, a painful birth to finishit off, but you got there. . I am so relieved and happy for you. At last the grand entrance. I bet y ou were really brave. You've been wonderful at being brave with this, and helping others.
welcome to Georgebythesea. Sorry you feel so awful, there's so much support from lovely women on here.
xx

Hehe Living reading about your McD love has just enticed me into having my first McD in twenty odd years. Veggie burger (couldn't really manage) but fries and milkshake were great! Yes! Calories! I must live in the only city centre in the UK that does not have a McD!
As horrible as I feel typing it, there were times in my first pregnancy in particular when I felt like a miscarriage was my only way out. I know that sounds so so terrible given what people who miscarry go through :'( I couldn't bring myself to terminate but I understand those who do.
I also don't really think you are being unreasonable about parental visit. I think it may be easier! A newborn keeps you busy, if you and babe are in the UK will be much easier for OH to finish the job :-)

Kali really pleased you are happy with nanny. I think it will help tremendously. Our little boy sleeps through but enjoys getting up early. My family jumped into action really quickly once we realised a repeat of last pregnancy was occurring. My Dad even quit his job (he is 66 and was working himself into the ground, so it ended up being a positive thing, however he'll do some contracting again I'm certain. He likes to keep busy)
I think it's very brave of you. I only decided to go for another pregnancy because I was absolutely deluded that this would not happen again. Positive thinking huh?

meerka that's amazing news! Congratulations. I hope the horribleness of hg disappeared immediately and you are full of lovely food and drink. And also enjoying newborn cuddles.

Less than 2 weeks to go for me. Psych nurse asked me yesterday if I was excited about it- unfortunately I just want baby out and to feel normal again.

Whoever was talking about mothers-in-law... Argh! I thought I'd been setting boundaries quite well (no more staying in the spare room when they come up as it's now a nursery, baby doesn't need any more stuff etc) but MiL now wanting to come and see me a day after c section in hospital. I said no (repeat after me: major abdominal surgery...time to adjust to being a family...) but OH has said "maybe". No No No.

Punk the McDonalds strawberry milkshakes got me through a tough few weeks.

Welcome George. You're halfway to having a fully cooked baby already. Hope you've got a sympathetic GP and some meds to help, and some ketostix for the dehydrated times.

Thanks everyone. I do think dh is projecting his anxiety on me. He and his family took my mc very badly. I sometimes wonder if I got pg again too quickly as none of us are really over it. I was bad in that pregnancy too and very ill before that so basically I've not been firing on all cylinders for a very long time! It's not just him that doesn't understand. Can you believe that friend of mine is still going on about me not going to that party? She knows why and hasn't even asked how I am.

It doesn't surprise me about terminations due to Hg. I had a termination at 22. I felt like this then as well but Hg was unheard of. I'm not saying that was the reason I terminated but it certainly helped me realise I made the right decision at the time. Living that's a tough one. I suppose I just think that feeling the way we do we should get everything our way and the menfolk never think of things logically. Hope your plan works and you enjoy your macdonalds!

George we have spoken before on here about animals. There are some very sympathetic pets amongst us! Although my cat has calmed down a bit since I'm getting so restless at night she's taken to sleeping on the laptop instead!

Punk,kali and meerka you are all very brave!

Cross post there, petit that sounds like a nightmare with your mil, yes id definitely be putting my foot down over that one!

Should have said MiL doesn't want to cone and see me, she wants to see her Grandson. (Phone calls starting with "and how's my grandson" really annoy me!)

I have already said to DH no visits in hospital and no one sees our girl till I am ready. I don't care if that's two weeks or two months and I really couldn't give a toss about how others react to it. I just don't know how I am going to feel - just want to get this hg gone and the birth out of the way!

Also when they come to visit they are going in a hotel or b&b. The same would go for my parents so in my head I am being fair I can't bear the thought of someone in my space, particularly with my bipolar.

Fortunately here in hospital the mother's wishes rule. They already know to not admit anyone but DH (who is supportive of that hospital bit at least). petit can you instruct the ward staff to not let visitors in? How exciting thought that it is nearly OVER!

I should have gotten chips too punk I may have to go out for another McD's run now, your choice was inspired!

mrsnec and boo I think I am probably rather selfish sounding - but as my parents are so hands off I'm quite taken aback by all the gushing and overexcitment of a newborn. There is no way I will allow anything more than I am comfortable with (which right now is not seeing anyone hehe)- and who knows how we will feel after the arrival. Although boo and punk I wondered if it was easier with this being your second? I was vastly unamused at being told I 'never go round any more' - oh sorry I was too busy trying to control my nausea and desperate for sleep to sit around making small talk!

mrsnec I think it is difficult to find the balance but your DH needs to back you up or say something. I personally find the whole thing suffocating.

Also my DH is an only child and my psychologist reckons that my MiL wanted a girl too and sees this as her opportunity to have what she didn't get first time round if that makes sense. With my bipolar I am really very protective of my space and find the whole thing very overwhelming and stressful. I'm not sure DH appreciates how much so.

I think you all are handling the grandparent stuff much better than me

And khali and all the others on subsequent babies.... huge respect. DH just said earlier never again!

meerka amazing!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! Must feel so wonderful to have your lovely baby and to not feel sick any more!!!! Wishing you a speedy recovery and all the very best to you both!!!!

George I fully empathise with you, especially with the loneliness... I feel that often and sometimes just want to scream with how incredibly lonely and isolated I feel - and that's despite seeing either my mother or dh every evening after they finish work. If I didn't have this thread, I think I'd have lost my mind a long time ago.

If it helps, perhaps get in touch with the Pregnancy Sickness Support group because I spoke with their volunteer co-ordinator just a couple of days ago and she is setting me up with one of their volunteers so I have someone to email or speak with. I can't wait. Hopefully it will be in just a few days time.

mrsb I make baby blankets and other accessories in my spare time as a hobby/business. I find that maintaining a blog and a facebook page is helpful because people like that personal touch, especially when it involves something craft-based. It's also nice for potential commissioners/buyers to see other peoples comments and commissions on facebook, and I have found that that has helped me get more work. What sort of fabrics/market are you thinking of focusing on? I wonder whether interior designers might be interested in sourcing fabrics etc from you?

Living and Petit I completely understand the whole space thing. I have felt as though my personal space and private life are non existent since HG. Mostly because I've been so ill we've had varying family members staying to help or I staying at my dad's. Everyone knows everything. It does drive me insane. I hate being asked what I've fecking had to eat. I've had what I can manage. Don't ask me all day!

However, I am completely fine with afterwards, have even invited in laws to stay (to look after little boy while I go in for CS) I don't mind visitors in hospital either. This is only because it is the second though and I know what to expect. No way would anyone have stayed with us first time around (except my own Ma had she been well enough)
I think it's very important if you need space after the birth that you get it, you may not need it but the choice is important. It's just such an overwhelming time. I didn't really think about who would visit or how I'd feel...
I had a catheter in, feeling a little whoozy, still unable to get out of bed six hours post CS and I had six visitors, one of them being my 18 year old niece's boyfriend! WTF!!!
I say make it clear, if you don't want any visitors then that is completely your choice. You are the boss :-)

thank you so much .... I wasnt at all brave at the end. Couldnt face 1 1/2 hours at 8cm with the contractons going nowhere and then almost fading out .. I didnt know the bloody things could do that. But the baby is healthy and well and we are so, so happy it's all over. The HG is taking a while to fade this time but I can drink tapwater already and english tea tastes normal again. And friends brought sushi round :)

Goodnight to everyone and I hope it is a endurable and restful night

will post pics when i can, may take a day or two.

living my relatives went completely bonkers when DD was born. Actually more than bonkers. I had visits all day long. One day they started at 9am and kept going so that when we said to FIL that he could not bring his GF's sister, whom we had never even met prior to the birth, to the hospital at 9pm, FIL still got really upset. And it doesn't stop there; my uncle noticed DD was jaundiced on day 2 which can be a sign of some rare problems and pulled his connections at the hospital (retired OBGYN) to get extra tests done on her without telling either DP or me! Greek families, who'd have them!

meerka you sound brave to me. I'm so glad you are healing and able to start doing the simple things like drinking tapwater and tea again - isn't it extraordinary how important and meaningful such simple pleasure are? Makes one very grateful for all of them. I truly wish you a very, very healthy and speedy recovery back to 'normal' post-hg life. You've given me hope that I'll be able to get through this too, and that means a lot to me because I feel so helpless and sad, so thank you. xxxxx

Lucinda hehe, dh thankfully didn't do himself an injury(!) So funny though!!!

Take it gently meerka. I asked too much of myself in the first few weeks after DS was born and ended up back in hospital when DS was about six weeks old. I think when you've been so ill for so long it's so amazing to feel more normal that it's easy to underestimate how depleted you are, both physically and psychologically. In retrospect I should have asked for more help. I'm really glad that if we do have another fairly soon I'll have our nanny to help after the baby is born.

My brother is coming over the help DH cut the hedge with one of those chainsaw like hedge cutters. Just looking up our closest A&E...

How do you say no to family wanting to come visit? What if they just show up at the hospital!? I'm worried MIL is just going to be there whatever I say.

Morning all,
Thinking about it all now with the Greek families thing Boo I think I'm more worried about other people's visitors than mine!

Meerka do let us know how you're getting on. I agree with Kalidasa.

Oaklahoma, those types of power tools are very scary! Rather them than me! My dh's friend arrived and they've just gone out. Hopefully they'll stay out of trouble!