Hyperemesis Support

[LucindaE]

I hope everyone suffering from the Horrors of Hyperemesis will find this thread useful as a source of support and information.

There's no TMI on here - can't be by definition - and nobody should feel ashamed of moaning as much as they feel the need to.

MOH's wonderful website is full of useful information on this illness:
sites.google.com/site/pregnancysicknesssos/
Another invaluable website is:
www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/
If you need help in obtaining medication, this phone number is
brilliant:
024 7638 2020

Lastly, the NICE guidelines on treatment are useful:
cks.nice.org.uk/nauseavomiting-in-pregnancy#!prescribinginfosub

I would like to thank Everyone who has given such invaluable support and advice on this and on previous threads.

Remember when you are at your worst, 'This Too Shall Pass'. It really will.
So many women on this thread have thought they couldn't get through this, but they did.

Congratulations Meerka!!! Sending you gentle hugs and your favourite item of food. Willem is a very lucky little boy having such a dedicated mummy. xxxxx

Fantastic news Meerka! Well done! Xxxxx
Totes

I've just put this on another thread, but think it's probably better here - does anyone else feel completely overwhelmed and anxious/panicky at being pregnant (25wks for me) and feel like they need a break from it, just for a while?? I've been feeling like that since yesterday and am still jittery. I love my little girl so much and feel so guilty for feeling like this. I just want a break from feeling so completely crap, sick and all the other awfulness related to this hyperemesis horridness. I wish I could hand the pregnancy over to my dh for a little while at least, or share it with him more, so I had a little time to myself to feel vaguely myself again :-( It feels claustrophobic. I'm not sure how else to describe it.

starry I'm so fed up and exhausted and grumpy today and feeling completely out of sorts. My food is so limited again and I was so nauseous this morning I couldn't get up (and was awake at 5.30!). Does it never end? I could have written your post. Will try and reply properly when I get to my laptop but yes to all of what you've said.

I know every pregnancy is different and we all have our crosses to bear but hg just makes it so much more rubbish than it could otherwise be.

Have you got a nice book to read or can you curl up to watch TV or do something nice for yourself?

And I physically get claustrophobic too do you? I actually have to sleep on the sofa now as bed just seems to swamp me and I can't be too near dh.

living yes!! That's exactly it - all of what you said and the feeling physically claustrophobic too. I spend so much of my time in my 'safe' place - my bed - and also the living room, that I just feel like screaming from frustration at feeling so trapped and awful. I've got to the point where going out is so difficult because I feel so anxious and sick.

I've got to go back to my studio flat tomorrow for a few weeks and I can barely cope with the thought of it. I've got to go because I've got appointments with my consultant and midwife next week. I'm terrified at the thought of even going to the appointments :-( I know I need help with what's happening, but the hospital still hasn't got back to me with an appointment to see a mental health specialist, but just said they have received my referral. My midwife sent the referral letter at my check-in appointment months ago!!

ARGH!!!!

Hmmm have you tried going back to your GP to get them to push the referral through? Or could you have a talk with them on the phone to explain? That doesn't sound right to have waited for so long. Otherwise tell all to the consultant and midwife next week and ensure you don't leave until you get a result re the perinatal team! Is your DH going with you? Mine is very good at badgering when we don't get quite the answer we want.

Also the other route could be your community mental health team who do self referrals but I guess you are part of that already? I'm slowly finding out all the differences in systems and I know the one in the area I am moving to I can call at any time.

I know the fear. Hopefully it will be a lovely beautiful day and you and your DH can enjoy a nice walk to and from hospital in the sun which will make you feel better. And remember how nice it was when you got to do the scan last time :) will you get to have another looksie at your baby? And when it's over you can relax again :)

Can you stay with your mum a while longer or not possible? Are you going to move somewhere larger after the baby? Again, here I so know what you mean. I'm fed up of these four walls in this tiny apartment and nothing seems to be resolved here. All I can think of is the expense of moving and whether it will be frying pan to fire. But then I try and take a step back and break it into bite size chunks. It makes it all more manageable. I also made a list - I like lists

I really sympathise on the whole wanting to have a few days off from it all. Wasn't it meerka who said the same thing? Don't worry about feeling guilty. There's a BIG difference between hating the pregnancy process and hating the baby! I don't think any of us are resentful of the child, but we could all do without being sick/lumbering around/not eating properly/stretch marks/hormones/exhausted/anxiety/stress....I could go on and on.

Apologies missed the bit about needing to go back for appointments. I can't even read any more :(

oklahoma I am sure you can say who you want there or not at the hospital. I remember going to visit one friend and it was ridiculous, like Piccadilly Circus and people bringing food and all kinds of crap (big Serbian family this time not Greek ).

I don't know how they can police visitors on a ward (and I have my own room) but I've read they can. Certainly for the delivery they can, I mean there are are some awful stories there of people descending before the poor woman has even left the birthing area.

Perhaps something to discuss with your DH and send an email or text? Also don't tell people when you are in labour! Just announce the birth after the event and when you are ready to see people. There's all kinds of convenient excuses such as 'emergency', 'fast labour no time to respond' etc.

mrsnec I know what you mean - I do think people need time to mourn an mc. I didn't think I'd conceive again so quickly espeailly after hearing all this nonsense about how infertile woman in their mid thirties are supposed to be, so I found the same when I did. I think a little bit of the sadness of mc's is always with you, but a baby makes up for it ninety-eight per cent.
petitlapin That sounds so annoying - as if you are a walking container. I know one feels like one, but...
Starry and Livingzuid I so feel for you about the feeling hemmed in and wanting a break from suffering thing. It's so hard, but Meerka got there in the end, and so will everybody.
George and Everyone How are things? Apologies to anyone rudely overlooked.
xx

Apologies, also forgot to say thank you for advice on in laws :) Still feeling very about the whole thing which I think I would pg hormones/tiredness or not. DH apologised yesterday r as I said I felt very under-supported. We agreed to discuss it a bit more when I feel a bit sunnier. Which certainly isn't today!

I'm in a really down and anxious mood today so going to go and try to feel the baby move. Every time I think it's ok and she wiggles around I then get paranoid again about not feeling anything. I'm not letting the poor thing have any sleep! starry I'm going to go blerghhh about all my concerns on Friday too!

Starrynight123 and livingzuid(not sure how to make your names black) I completely relate to what you are saying re the claustrophobia.It's awful and feels never ending.Today my SO is off work today though and it's sunny here in Brighton so we are going to attempt a little walk in the sunshine which always makes me feel a bit better when I can manage it so I'm looking forward to that.But when they aren't here all week it's much harder to cope(Still very hard when they here but less lonely).Well done everyone who's getting through this! You are all strong and amazing!

A friend of mine told me that they think a previous mc can take the joy out of pregnancy. I think hg does too. I find myself angry for not being able to enjoy it or celebrate. It. We've still not told all our family and I'm reluctant to do the big fb Announcement. Thankfully I don't suffer from the claustrophobia you have mentioned, yet, I can't imagine what its like but from the way it's described it's horrendous. I totally get the idea about taking time off though it would be great to swap to make other people understand.

Living I still feel you and everyone else have the right approach re the inlaws I'm glad your dh has agreed to discuss it when you feel brighter.

George that sounds lovely. My dh and his friend have gone to the beach without me. They've taken my car too I hope he's nice to me when he comes home. Did say he'd take me out for dinner tomorrow night which would normally make me happy but just stressed me out more!

Starry
I have felt all of the things you describe. I am coping much better than I have in the past but I think that's because it's getting near to the end. In my first pregnancy I was definitely depressed and overwhelmed by the whole thing. I really think this was due to the HG, it made me question why I was even pregnant and then I stressed that I wouldn't love my baby because I hated being pregnant so much. I frequently just want to escape my own body and I do describe it as being claustrophobic.

I managed to have a walk out today. I even ate out!!! ( just some soup but a success :-)
I'm now having a lie down to compensate.

I just hate being pregnant. There is nothing positive to say about the experience other than that I've survived it.

In my first pregnancy I felt frightened to say that because everyone had always given me the impression that they loved being pregnant. However they're all coming out now and admitting some hatred along the way. Perhaps not to my extent but it made me feel a little more normal.
We are not alone x

Being pregnant sucks. I really hope it's worth it cause currently I'm not sure anything is worth suffering through this. I feel like a terrible person for saying the but I can't help it.

George to make things bold you put a * before and after the word. If you scroll right to the bottom of the screen it shows you all the various options too.

Oklahoma I've felt like that too,not being sure if it can be worth it even though I desperately wanted to be pregnant beforehand(and it took a while) I find myself unable to connect with that person I was and wondering why I wanted this/even wondering why I didn't adopt or something.But on better days I remember why and hearing everyone who has been through it say how worth it it is makes me feel better.It's not that I don't want the baby far from it,it's just the pregnancy is so horrible so far

I'm so glad that it isn't just me who feels like this. It feels so confusing and stressful at times because I know I love my little girl and can't wait to meet her, but at the same time I absolutely hate what I'm going through and am desperate for it to end. Ugh. But as Lucinda said, it will end. Just the waiting bit.

living that's a really good point about what else to say and find our when I go and see the consultant. Poor man is going to be bombarded!! I think the difficulty is that I spend most of my time at my mother's place which is outside of London, but our place is in London, so it would be tough to attend regular appointments in London as it takes around 2-2.5hrs to drive down. I've got to go tomorrow and am utterly dreading it.

Sadly it's not a scan appointment; well next see our daughter in June when our next scan is due. Thankfully my dh attends my appointments with me because it's a c.2mile walk there through very busy central London. I get very anxious and panicky with all the people around and don't know if I could manage it myself, especially with the waiting in the hospital and epic walk back again. We try and walk through some squares, so at least see some nature.

George well done on getting out today :-)

2 mile walk each way!? faints Blimey, well done! It's 500 yards from my front door to work and I've been driving... Walking makes me guaranteed to vom, well done you!

I echo what everyone is saying about the wretched feeling of pregnancy, I can't wait for it to be over. 'Enjoying' it just sounds like total bollocks told to women to silence other women to me.

That said I am feeling better than I was, I've started driving longer distances again and managing to do things both at work and at home ( albeit with rests and breaks aplenty).

I'm 21 weeks now, and fingers crossed it looks like I might be one of the lucky ones who gets some relief after 20 weeks. Still on the pills, and feeling sick most of the time but it's been manageable for most of the week. Dreading a relapse though

punk I understand what you say about the depression and feeling overwhelmed by it all - I'm the same. It really does feel as though I'm clinging on to my sanity and that it is something I'm trying to survive desperately. Even knowing it is going to end doesn't always help because I've got 3months left (due 2nd august) and it seems like such a very long way off.

oaklahoma and punk so true - it does feel guilty to hate ones pregnancy, especially when you see pregnant women running around glowing with health and vitality gushing about just how much they love being pregnant and that's it's the best thing ever. Good for them, but don't ram it down my throat - and I include the media in that too. Nowadays we are supposed to go running, go to work and run around on holidays and stuff all while being pregnant - I feel as if a miracle has happened if I can get downstairs and sit in the livingroom for a while (with a sick bag by my side)!!!!

living we are giving up our mousehole, I mean studio flat, in July shortly before the baby is due and moving in with my mother for the next year or so. It's a lot bigger (impossible to be smaller than our flat!!) and quieter. It will mean an epic commute for dh and when I finish mymaternity leave, but it's worth it. Dh and brother in law are moving most of our stuff out of our flat today!

lottie I once had two back to back appointments and had to walk there and back twice in two days. 8 miles in two days almost killed me and I was so exhausted and sick afterwards. Horrid!! But I couldn't get in a taxi :-( Dh kept trying to persuade me to get in a cab, but I preferred to walk(!)

So hope you are one of the lucky ones!! I'm
Amazed at what you've been doing with going to work and all - well done!

The loneliness and isolation don't help with hg either. I'm so fed up of doing nothing but waiting for DH to get home. It's like HG has taken my worst bipolar traits and quadrupled them, like panic in crowds and anxiety in dealing with people and coping mechanisms falling by the wayside. The depression is definitely there as a result of this sickness.

starry there are some wonderful people out there - namely lovely friends - but I have realised so many insensitive people, particularly on the family side who just don't want to understand. My mum is like mrsnec's husband in the denial that one could feel quite so f*ing shit from pregnancy. It's really quite hurtful and doesn't help to the wretched feeling.

But great news on the move with your mum, the commute will be worth it! How lovely for you.

So glad I have a dog to keep me company! Funnily enough walking is a bit of a lifesaver. Oooh george wonderful Brighton! I lived there for a bit and it was amazing. I would love to live there again one day but it would mean working in London again and I've sworn off that

Just walking around for 20 mins or so helps loosen my hips and legs up but if I do more then doh. I think I'm still recovering from my mum's visit where we walked a lot. Sorry to moan on, I am not myself today. The baby is moving away by the way. I had a snooze and kept waking up because she was nudging me. The dog crawled under the duvet and cuddled the bump whilst she was doing that, it was so cute. It's the small things that make this bearable.

lottie I found my second trimester a dream in comparison to the first, and last. I've found the hg getting worse and worse again over the last two weeks, but nausea now not vomiting (is that a blessing or not? think punk finds the nausea worse and tbh I'd rather just puke and be done with it). And so :( at food aversions again. DH is rushing back from work with something for me to eat. Back to rice and not much else, sigh. Although, punk soup, I might give that a go! Victory dance for getting out for a bit!

living I fully empathise; I have a pre-existing anxiety disorder that I've been battling for years, with and sometimes without medication and therapy, and things were getting a lot better over the last couple of years. But since becoming pregnant, I have also found myself falling into bad habits. Avoiding going outside, getting really panicky when people come over, becoming more depressed because of the increasing and constant loneliness and isolation. I also spend the day waiting for my mum to come home in the evenings and dh at weekends when he visits. It's so frustrating too because I'm usually such a content ant sociable person but this person I am now is someone I only recognise from my worst periods of horrendous panic and anxiety. It's so scary finding myself back in that mental hell and although I know it will not last forever, it really does feel as though it will.

Ah, having a dog sounds lovely! It must be nice to have dome company during the day. Walking is (was) something I found therapeutic, as a way of getting rid of excess energy and any jitteriness/anxiety. I feel lost without it.

Completely agree about HG making life incredibly claustrophobic. YOu can't go out, you can't travel far, you can't see people, you can't get out of bed in the early months .. you can't do this, you can't eat ... you can't drink, ... you can't go near the kitchen .. you can't ... you can't, you can't, you can't ... it is a stifling nightmare. Life, and the walls, close in.

About hating being preg .... actually hating .. and being afraid that it will be impossible to bond with the baby ... All I can say is that I felt the same way. I'm afraid that it did take time with our first son partly because even though I was no longer sick (omg, how wonderful that was) I was still very weak and that slowed the bonding even though it's very deep now. This time, despite the frightening wobble ten days ago, the bond's snapped into place straight away. I do believe that it does with everyone, even if it takes a bit of time. But I do know that taking Kalidasa's advice about taking it gently is very, very wise =)

Meerka Lovely to hear from you. Gentle hugs and pats as you must still be very delicate. Very wise words from you and Kalidasa. I was ill after birth and too weak to bond proprely, but I remebered advice in a baby book 'If you act as if you love the baby, that love is sure to come.' It did.
It will for everyone.
xx

Thank you for the reassurance ladfies, this last week or so I've been starting to really worry about loving and bonding with the baby.