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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Mothers in Law Rant

61 replies

pennygaff · 21/08/2006 13:04

Argh does anybody else suffer from the pain in the arse Mother in Law?
I have to have a rant because she is doing my head in
I am 9+3 and me and my DP decided to his parents recently.
Although she was pleased she also seemed kind of jealous, it will be the first grandchild so maybe she feels she is losing the family mother role, I don't know!
She said she couldn?t be relied on to be a babysitter and she wished her daughter had been first (what?s all that about?) and that I was to keep working as quote "you are pregnant, not disabled"
Although am having terrible m/s she did not have sickness (30 yrs ago who can remember?) and I think this has made my DP believe I am putting it on a bit. He actually commented that I could be milking it!!!! arghh the rage
Now she rarely asks me how I am when I see her and sometimes does not mention the pregnancy at all, which makes me feel invisible.
Me and my Dp have been together for 5 years so I am hardly trapping him into it, god why is she so awful!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

jenga · 21/08/2006 13:09

Have to laugh, do not always see eye to eye with my MIL either. Dreading having the baby and her interferring....I'm sure she'll know best! Always does.

emzickle · 21/08/2006 13:26

my MIL = biggest bum hole I ever met...

I even joked to my own mother once that DP and I could never have kids because I couldnt cope with MIL interfering, FGS I found I was PG the weekend later... Oops

Original poster

pennygaff · 21/08/2006 13:56

lol yes , Interfering tends to be much used word, I do get worried what side my DP is on sometimes. If I ever refuse anything she offers, she works on him and I get it whether I want it or not, like the spider plant I found on the bathroom shelf after I said I don't want it thank you (I Hate them) and many other things in our house which are not my taste. Does this sounds familiar to anyone?

OP posts:

julezboo · 21/08/2006 14:06

yes yes yes, thankfully mil now lives in portugal and is miles away, i dont have to speak to her if i dont want to

But we did live with her and she left numerous things in the house that she knew i would like, which have since gone in the bin!

Im dreading the visit once baby is here! Her house isnt hers anymore we bought it and are decorating it the way we want it, she isnt gonna be pleased, but she will stay with us by our rules otherwise i will take her the airport myself!

(btw she was a witch to me before she left) i was terribly sick at the beginning and could hardly move, but according to her i was lazy and lying!

jenga · 21/08/2006 14:10

Ha. Thankfully my MIL also lives a reasonable disctance, though moved to the same country as us to be closer! Luckily for me her grasp of geography wasn't great and she ended up the other end of England

Pinotmum · 21/08/2006 14:12

Well if she tries to give any advice once the baby is born just say "well the books suggest this now etc" as I did this with my mil and her sister who had loads of advice that was crap e.g if you let the baby stand too early it will give it bowed legs! I have heard my mil birth stories a zillion times but I don't think she's heard mine once not that I would tell her now. When dd was born dh rang her whilst I was still in the delivery room and she told me all the weights of her children when they were born - fgs they're all in their 40's now. Then 2 yrs later when ds was born she did exactly the same. Very self absorbed woman!!!

julezboo · 21/08/2006 14:18

lol jenga!!!

Im dreading the day my mil decides to come home and shes been gone only 2 weeks!!!

scotchick · 21/08/2006 14:25

You have to be strong and don't give in to this!

When I was pg with ds1 she was delighted, first grandchild, loves children etc. Towards the end of the pg she would phone every single day and I didn't have anything new to say! One day she phoned 10 times and I refused to pick up.

When ds was born she was full of advice 'from her day' and I tried to be strong but sometimes failed. One thing I really regret is that I breastfed, felt very strong about it but ds didn't sleep very well and she said it was the bfeeding and that I should bottlefeed. I resisted for ages even when she said that 'some people' don't have enough milk in their breast to satisfy their baby. I wonder who she was referring to??? Then one night she persuaded me to give ds a bottle to make him sleep - only so she could have the joy of feeding him. Well, it didn't make a blind bit of difference - ds was still up all night. I took great pleasure in telling her that.

I weakened only once with ds2. She was adamant that he shouldn't be fed on demand and one night I sat their and watched her shoogle ds2 for about 1 1/2 hours and she was saying 'he can't be hungry'. Well, he bloody well was. What a waste of time, poor wee soul, After 1 1/2 hours of crying, she gave me him and I fed - which is what I should have done in the first place.

Anyway, this is off subject a bit. Your MIL does sound a bit jealous and bitter. Do your own thing and do not listen to her. She'll change her mind about babysitting you can be sure of that. It's your baby!! Be strong!

scotchick · 21/08/2006 14:26

That reads like I regretted I breastfed, obviously not, read on to the bit when she bottle fed ds!

scotchick · 21/08/2006 14:30

Also, she told me she went 6 weeks over with her third child which is obviously bollocks. She obviously got her dates wrong.

Cappuccino · 21/08/2006 14:35

heee heee heee

welcome to the MIL from hell threads

we'll be seeing you round here a lot when the babe is born... and you'll have plenty of friends on here!

jenga · 21/08/2006 14:37

sometimes I feel guilty for feeling so negative about my MIL. then it passes.

Original poster

pennygaff · 21/08/2006 14:38

Scotchick I know what you mean on the Advice from her day stuff. But How clearly can you recall events 30 -40 yr past, I really want to say that to her actually..........
Julezboo yes I guess we are lazy and lying, but since
Sympathy is not forthcoming why would we keep it up, Have they asked themselves that,..no! P.S have you changed the locks?
Pinotmum have you ever argued with your MIL? I have always kept quite but recently I have challenged her, lol, blamed my hormones.
She said the woman next door had done" a good job on her two" which made me shiver...

OP posts:

scotchick · 21/08/2006 14:39

jeez, what does that mean -'done a good job'???

In fairness, in 20 years when ds1 has his first child and his wife bottlefeeds because that is deemed the thing to do by hvs, I will be the crone who rants 'breast is best'....in my day....

Original poster

pennygaff · 21/08/2006 14:42

Jenga Do you feel guilty or has your MIL retracted and done something nice to make you feel guilty?
Think how many times this has worked on her son

OP posts:

Original poster

pennygaff · 21/08/2006 14:46

I realise my last comment makes me sound a touch paranoid but all is possible with a MIL

OP posts:

jenga · 21/08/2006 14:46

no, i feel guilty. DH gets on well with my parents, feel i should get on well with his.

julezboo · 21/08/2006 14:47

pennygaff, no we havnt but she didnt take a key either .

I kept my mouth shut for the first year id known her and tbh i wish id opened my mouth a bit sooner! When i did all hell broke lose and she told me "iwill drive my kids away, i do not feed ds enough he will die of diptheria, i am a cruel and bad mother"

she then harped on about her doing such a good job with her son who she was always there for, thankfully dp sticks up for me and told her "mother you have drove me away, i was on drugs at 16 and dropped out of uni, cant have done that good a job"

really harsh but really needed!!!

my mil really hasnt got a clue but thats a whole new thread, i havnt spoke to her since she left, cant forgive her for what she has said over her last 4 weeks in england there was no need for it no matter what she thought!

ps - my ds has eating issues but does have 3 meals away and is always telling me he loves me , so i cant be doing that bad a job now can i!

scotchick · 21/08/2006 14:53

Oh, did you know my dh was potty trained at 18 months? It's true, my MIL told me. Also said I'd left it 'too late' when my ds was having problems toilet training at nearly 3. Too late? What like, if you pass a certain point they will never be toilet trained? Aaaaghh!

julezboo · 21/08/2006 14:54

lol sc!!! The things they come out with!!!

my ds was having problems at 3, he is toilet trained now!

scotchick · 21/08/2006 14:55

my ds is 7 now and I know you'll find it hard to believe, but he is actually toilet trained now. Fancy that.

julezboo · 21/08/2006 14:58

i sometimes wonder about dp though!!! LOL

scotchick · 21/08/2006 15:00

My dh has just reminded me that his gran claims his dad (my FIL) was potty trained at 6 months!!! Hahahahahahahah!

jenga · 21/08/2006 15:02

MIL insists that DH was a big baby. 6lb10oz, but 2 weeks early. Haven't told her that I was 9lbs and 10 days early. Think my bump will take after me more than DH, I'm not scared of having a big baby, just looking forward to getting one over MIL!

julezboo · 21/08/2006 15:02

hahahahah now thats funny!!

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