Mothers in Law Rant

[pennygaff]

Argh does anybody else suffer from the pain in the arse Mother in Law?
I have to have a rant because she is doing my head in
I am 9+3 and me and my DP decided to his parents recently.
Although she was pleased she also seemed kind of jealous, it will be the first grandchild so maybe she feels she is losing the family mother role, I don't know!
She said she couldn?t be relied on to be a babysitter and she wished her daughter had been first (what?s all that about?) and that I was to keep working as quote "you are pregnant, not disabled"
Although am having terrible m/s she did not have sickness (30 yrs ago who can remember?) and I think this has made my DP believe I am putting it on a bit. He actually commented that I could be milking it!!!! arghh the rage
Now she rarely asks me how I am when I see her and sometimes does not mention the pregnancy at all, which makes me feel invisible.
Me and my Dp have been together for 5 years so I am hardly trapping him into it, god why is she so awful!

Pennygaff, your MIL could be my MIL! Luckily she lives 200 miles away but I have to take deep breaths when we see her.

My MIL has also changed stuff in our house without asking me, or sometimes after asking me when I've said no. I have gone into rooms to find new (and horrible) towels and bathmats hanging up in the bathroom, and kitchen utensils moved to different cupboards in the kitchen "because I thought it would make life easier for you".

I'm convinced it's a control thing. She can't stand the fact she is no longer the most important woman in her son's life, and tries to exert her control wherever she can.

Pennygaff - does your MIL try to pour cold water on anything you are looking forward to or excited about? Mine does this all the time, eg when we'd got some lovely professional photos done of our baby she rang me to say how terrible they were and even rang the photographer to complain. When we booked a holiday, her first words were "Oh dear, is it too late for you to cancel?" I could go on, but you get the picture...

I wish I could say something to my dp's mum she's one of them people that always has to be right.

DD was dry in the day from about 20 months which I think is realy early and was shocked when she picked it up so quick but no according to her gran her dad and uncle were both potty trained from 6 weeks

Now I'm pg with my second and she barely mentions it and when it does get brought up she compares me having another child to her getting her dog!!

She also doesn't believe in morning sickness (which I've got) or breastfeeding (which I did last time and I'm planning on doing again) because she couldn't do it.

Hiya Ladies

I thought my mother in law was the only selfish one around lol. When I was pregnant with my son daniel who is now 15months old she fell out with us over a pram. She rang me one morning asking me if i was going choosing a pram that day I said I might do I don't know yet as I really wanted to go with baby's dad. her son. So I said if i do i'll ring her up and let her know. Anyway I ended up seeing a pram the next day b4 going 2 work. I put a deposit down on it. DP went up his parents and when he said that she stormed up off stairs. His dad told him a few days later its best I stop away for a bit as I had reallu upset her not letting her come with me too choose a pram as she really wanted 2. So I did. When I had daniel she was never away she kept taking over everything. Washing cleaning etc. She didnt stop for half hour she would stop for 5 hours!!! Don't get me wrong I was glad she was helping out but I didnt ask and neither did DP. It was just the fact that after everything what she said about me not going near her house for a while she still came down and butted in. She was evening telling me i wasnt putting his nappy on right or anything. Now I'm pg with my 2nd baby and I'm absoltely dreading it.

hee hee, some funny stories on here! I do understand tho, mine jus the same! & we're goin 2 get pram next wk (with her!) I can c the arguments already! LOL!

Hello all, imo families in general become a nightmare to manage once you have children. My MIL is actually really nice.....I'm very lucky! We live in Leeds tho and they live on the Wirral so that's probably why . She doesn't interfere and is always worried that she could be treading on my toes not the norm I know. If anything I have more issues with my own mum because she lives down South and is worried that my mil is getting to see my dd all the time. Which she doesn't funnily enough. My FIL on the other hand is a nightmare, stubborn and set in his ways. Every year we used to go to theirs for Christmas. Before we had kids it was great as all our friends were there and the whole family used to get together (apart from my side, we'd catch up later). When dd was born we went up for her first 2 Christmases but she's 2 this year so we want Christmas in our own home and to open the pressies etc in the morning on our own. We'll have had ds by then as well. I've invited everyone for Christmas dinner including my family but the flamin' moaning is doing my head in. My mum doesn't really want my mil and fil staying over at mine because she thinks she won't be able to spend quality time with my dd/ds. My FIL is pee'd off because he doesn't like change....now I know how my parents felt with their parents but it all seemed to happen as soon as we had kids. I am now a lot more assertive with them all as I can't be doing with pussyfooting around them all...if they don't like it lump it.....god, where did all that come from

My MIL is awful. When pregnant with DS1 she told me I was showing off by wearing maternity clothes too early as I hadn't even got a proper bump (at 26 weeks!) When DH phoned her from the delivery suite to say DS1 had been born, her first question was "did she have stitches?". Didn't even ask the baby's name or weight! Worst of all - and completely unforgivable - was her comment when we lost a baby at 24 weeks. Her daughter had twins at 28 weeks a few months earlier, and luckily they were fine. MIL said she and SIL thought that losing our baby was payment for the twins surviving!!! (How can people bring themselves to say these things?) Needless to say, we have a very cold relationship - and I'm glad DH was adopted so there is no biological link between my children and MIL!

Could your MIL not have children of her own then? May explain all the anger and bitterness - though does not, of course, excuse it.

Hi Scotchick, they adopted my DH, then she fell pregnant with my SIL about 18 months later, so she has a biological child too! No excuse! (I think we have to face the fact that she is just a nasty old baggage!)

Why are in laws like that!! Mine the same although we are civil to eachother, when I found out I was pregnant took her 3 months to accept it and even ask how I was which was really horrible not to mention my hormones the last thing I needed. She said it was just a shock cos its her first son and she had planned for him to be married at the time he had his children. Why must they try and plan a grown mans life?
Now she just tries to give advice that I so dont need and even sttaed when babys born she'll book some time of work to give me hand!!
Give me strength!

Hi TuttiFrutti, Yes she does seem to have a sense of disbelief when I tell her about the things I plan to do (even this baby). I think its def a control thing, and in my opinion any woman who wants her family and husband to call her Marr at 64 is just wrong, Ha, I have recently exacted my revenge by calling her by her-.... FIRST NAME!!! Which I know she hates! lol
Jensmum- did you see my early comment about my MILs dog weirdness... I know what you mean.
steph1984- I have been told recently that she will buy me a Pram, I had a few suggestions but my MIL has turned temp deaf, yep its coming my way.
She did bring me dinner one time I was really ill with m/s, which
Was nice... I suppose... but she came around an hour later wanting her plate back...washed.

Pennygaff, I think our MILs might be the same person!

Mine has also gone temporarily deaf when I tell her I don't want things she is thinking of giving me. Last year I had just bought a new hoover when she rang me up and asked if I wanted a hoover. I said thanks, but I've actually just bought one myself, so no thanks. She then rang back a few days later and asked the same question as if the first conversation hadn't happened. Then she kept ringing, saying things like "I don't think your new hoover sounds very good, wouldn't you like a different model?" Then she came to lunch at our house, and after coffee she said "Ooh I've got a lovely present for you in the back of the car, you're going to be so thrilled with this", and... You can guess the rest. What was going on in her head???

Incidentally all her presents to me revolve around cleaning. She once sent me some dusters in the post, with a note saying she'd noticed I didn't have enough!!!