Grrr! stop banging!

[mlbear]

Advice please ladies...

My neighbour has a 1yr old, I never heard the baby cry / scream when he was born, but now he has a habit of banging his cot against the wall, slamming cupboard doors...

Everyone keeps telling me I should be 'resting' & taking my mat leave to catch up on my sleep before baby gets here, which would be lovely.

However the child next door wakes daily between 8-9am banging his cot against the wall, which is so loud it wakes me up!

When I decide to nap during the day, he starts banging cupboard doors! which again wakes me up!

The mum has apologised to DH when she has seen him in passing & his response was a polite 'oh its fine..' (WTF!)

Its not fine! & now I feel that I cant complain because she has already apoloisged for it, but it is still happening.

DH says I cant say anything & doesn't want me causing problems, my parents also said the same thing, "you dont want to fall out with your neighbours.."

DH & parents say we'll soon have our own back when our baby is here & crying & screaming keeping them up - but I dont agree - I never heard their child cry.

I am such a light sleeper now, due to the constant peeing I need to do during the night, so I am already pretty tired... Im hoping I have a baby that sleeps during the night so I can finally catch up on my sleep - tell me they exist!

What you do in this situation?

You accept the fact that your own child will be doing the same in a short space of time, and be glad that their little one is such a late riser as many toddlers are up from 5/6am!!! If your bedroom is next to their child's can you not sleep in another room for now if it's bothering you so much?

I'd knock on the door and just explain the situation. Moving the cot a few inches from the wall couldn't hurt.

Imagine your neighbour will be sympathetic.

their childs bedroom is next to our spare room (joining wall), our bedroom is after a bathroom so the otherside of the house. The noise just carries & can be heard throughout the whole house, I have tried napping down stairs & bedroom but can still be heard.
Their kitchen is on their exterior wall, a hallway & staircase before my joining wall & I hear him slamming cupboards in the kitchen.

I thought I was being dramatically pregnant - but it has on occasion woken DH too...

Our nursery is the other side of spare room, so not on the joining wall, so I doubt I'll ever 'get me own back'

These are new build houses, Im sure the walls are made from papermache.

somedays I am filled with so much rage that I have to stop myself from going round, cos I know I'll explode, which I would not want someone doing to me.

I think I am just going to have to live with it. But surely its louder in their house, should they not stop him, instead of just leaving him !? It goes on for a long period of time...

What if my child does cause so much racket that they come round & complain to me to keep my baby quiet?! Oh what a pickle!

I would get some earplugs.
And maybe some for your neighbour for when you have a newborn

Go and sleep in the nursery then if the sound won't carry from there?

All I can think is god I wish mine would wake up between 8 and 9

I'm going to say again. It doesn't hurt to talk about it with your neighbour. It's your home, you shouldn't be chased out your bed. Honestly, invite her in for a cuppa and a chat. Doesn't have to be a moan. Both having a young family, or prospective one, means you will both have common ground. The noise may or may not be helped but if your neighbour thinks it's 'fine' then she doesn't know it's affecting you.

Thanks Lyns - I think a little chat over a cuppa is the way to go.
I'll also warn her of my impending due date - Im sure when I do finally go into labour I'll be waking them all up! (I imagine I'll be a screamer!)
I just dont want to make her feel uncomfortable / create a situation.

I did pop round to see her in summer (before I knew I was pregnant) to invite them to a BBQ party & apol before hand for the noise... she said "I was going to come see you the other day, we thought we could hear you 'at it' - we could hear a banging in the night that we thought was coming from your bedroom, then we relised it was baby kicking his cot against the wall"

at the time I couldn't hear anything so just laughed it off... I could go round & joke that I can hear them having sex & its keeping me awake ;)

I would just say something like 'is it possible to move the cot from the wall, I sleep very lightly as I am pregnant...I know DH said it was OK but he's a better sleeper..." I'm sure she hadn't realised as he's said it's OK.

Of course... if yours starts to do the same in a year or two being clear but reasonable-sounding will work better than just a moan. :)

Honestly, I don't think there is anything to complain about. 8/9 am is late for a little one. I think you are being a bit precious. If it was early or in the night then I think it would be reasonable to mention it.

I also think you may look back at this in a year or two and think you were being a tad silly. Jut buy earplugs, they really do work.

Good luck with the baby and congratulations :)

Her toddler wakes between 8 and 9?! I thought I had a lie in this morning because I didn't get woken up by DS until 6.40am...!

I cld have written this post! It irritates me no end that my neighbours little boy is allowed to stomp around the house and make noise when he wakes at 6am in their bedroom which is next to ours! I hear them closin doors all the time and i just cant understand why they need to make that much noise. Lukily they r moving soon but who knows who will buy nxt door!! Cld be worse.
We had to bang on the walls in the end and on occasion made alot of noise just so they were aware how easily sound travels.
I think u should have a word with her and let her know how loud it is, in a nice way as u dnt want to fall out.

I'd be greatful the little one wakes up so late. Our neighbours children usually wake us up about 6am. Personally I'd not complain and just live with it. You don't know how your little one will behave yet...it might make the same amount of noise for your neighbours