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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Mini rant

11 replies

FirsttimerG · 04/03/2014 18:16

I told my parents our news (we don't see them often for various reasons) and they didn't react.

I mean, literally not even a "congrats" or "good news!"

Just "oh right" and then subject change, followed by two days of avoiding the subject.

I am needless to say, pretty upset about this. Alth

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Original poster

FirsttimerG · 04/03/2014 18:17

Although not entirely surprised (pressed send too early!!)
I believe the issue is that I am not married.

Did anyone else have poor reacti

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Original poster

FirsttimerG · 04/03/2014 18:17

Reactions from people?!

Sorry I am such an idiot - trigger happy thumb!!

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slightlyinsane · 04/03/2014 20:54

Yep, I got a very similar reaction when I told my mum. It's my 4th pregnancy so wasn't expecting a massive reaction, the fact I'm having twins though, I was expecting something for that. I can tell you what my sister was upto that day though (my mum's favorite topic)
Bugger em it's your life don't let them drag you down byttheir reaction. Enjoy your pregnancy and be grateful you haven't got someone poking their nose in every 5 mins. At least that's what I tell myself

ruth1104 · 04/03/2014 21:19

Yep, a similarly disappointing reaction today on telling my grandparents (who we're temporarily living with) - basically just a list of reasons why this isn't a good time for me to be pregnant... It's a bit late for that! I knew she'd say the wrong thing but I thought she'd also be pleased, but no. Makes me worry a lot about telling anyone else in case they're not as excited as we'd think they'd be!! Families eh?

Original poster

FirsttimerG · 04/03/2014 22:10

Yeah that's how I feel - I was really excited about telling people and now I'm worried that the reactions won't be good.
Not that it should matter, its my life, my body, my family. Been with my partner for 4 years, we own a house together, very happy and stable so there's no reason not to. Plus I'm 31 and this is my first!
My other halves mum is thrilled so that's something at least!

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Missingcaffeine · 04/03/2014 22:26

I'm sorry to hear about the lack of response. The reaction I got was good, but both sets of parents are unhappy that we are not married. OH's mum called my mum to find out why I don't want to get married! It's actually my OH who is not keen on marriage, but I understand his reasons for feeling this way and would only want to get married if it was something he really wanted. OH's mum has called a meeting with him (I think about this)! I like the idea of marriage, but really it's not going to change anything. We are not religious and have been a happy couple for 5 years and have bought a house together.

amy246 · 04/03/2014 22:26

I had a few lame reactions too: 'was it planned?' 'You don't own your own house' but quickly they got more excited each time I spoke to them. I think sometimes it's just a shock

Original poster

FirsttimerG · 04/03/2014 22:45

I have the "you're not married" issue. We will get married one day. I had a serious health issue last year and it changed our perspective. We realised we wanted a family more than a ceremony to tell everyone else what we know we feel about each other already.

Oh well!! Just glad that i am not the only one!

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Boogles91 · 04/03/2014 22:58

Ive been lucky to have my parents theyre my heros. Been there through thick and thin through out my life and they were delighted that i was pregnant again :) although we tried to wait till 12 wks before we told them but failed misrebly at it as they picked my sicknote up and it was written on it -.- lool xx

alita7 · 04/03/2014 23:03

I'm worried about telling my family because of last time. I was a teen and from a catholic family so obviously that did not go down well(I ended up miscarrying).

My circumstances aren't ideal but I bet 90% of us on here don't tick all the boxes for ideal circumstances...

Now I'm in my early 20s and I live with my long term partner and his daughter (so I'm practically parenting anyway as we share most of the responsibilities). However, we're not married (though I think my family must be used to the idea of me not being married by now), live in rented housing (most people do these days!) and I am still a nursing student so although there are systems in place to allow you up to a year off with your bursary still paid and the uni will work with you to find the best way for you to complete your course so I will almost definitely be as likely to finish it as before (it will just be harder), I'm pretty sure they will see it as me ruining my training and making life unnecessarily difficult- but I think my mother will be more worried about what people think and use it as an excuse. But this is what we wanted for us

I don't know- I think my parents will have an initial negative reaction and I hope they will warm to the idea. But after what happened before I still have irrational fears about telling them, even though this time the situation is different. I keep reminding myself I don't live with them and they can't 'punish' me except by ignoring me, now, but I still have the same feeling in my head.

I am however, desperate to tell my friends. And even more desperate to tell my stepdaughters, particularly the one I live with. I've been dropping loads of hints with her, asking her if she wants any more siblings etc (which is does luckily :P) she has learning disabilities so while she's clever enough for the idea to tick over in her head, she's not going to know I'm pregnant, she'll just think I've decided I want to have children so luckily I won't be risking upsetting her if something was to go wrong.

ithoughtofitfirst · 05/03/2014 08:26

Married, late twenties, home owner, spare room, decent age gap since ds, non-smoker, tee total, happy, fit and healthy.

My father still went apeshit. And a few people have been like 'oh right... were you trying?' (as if that's not the rudest question ever)

What i'm getting at it some people manage to see the gloomy side of everything. Don't let them drag them into their nasty little world of negativity. If you're happy then that's all that matters.

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