Breast Feeding Views.

[Blondebrunette1]

I tried to breastfeed my first baby and only managed a week after i got an infection & found he was far happier on bottles. My second I had such a swift labour I was shaking and weak after and could barely hold him so we decided to bottle feed. This time I don't want to try, I have happy, healthy children that have always slept well and all were bottle fed, also I was bottle fed and am in better health than lots of my breast fed friends so I don't feel they have been deprived. My friend couldn't do it and was devastated, then after hearing professionals at a weaning class call bottles "artificial feeding" she was really upset. I just don't see it that way at all, I am not anti breast feeding it just hasn't worked for me and I don't want to try again as I'd rather bottle feed. I don't get the guilt, my kids are perfect and I've seen no correlation between good health and breast fed kids at all, In some cases completely the opposite. I would never tell anyone bottle is best and don't expect anyone to say breast is to me as my other friend experienced it being rammed down her throat at a class and now has her husband saying he wants her to do it when she's unsure. My husband doesn't mind either way but prefers being able to give them a bottle as he has with our other two. Am I the only one who is not deeply saddened it isn't for me?

Can anyone tell me exactly how the research is done cos I've never seen it collected anywhere? As somebody else has said, the difference is mostly minimal if any... As opposed to making New moms already feel like a failure. Sure, encourage bf by all means but stop trying to belittle women when they're already vulnerable. As to those of you who suggest op must be feeling guilty or why else post... I'm also quite vocal about this... Not cos I feel guilty (I combi fed if it's anyone's business) but in support of those women who DO feel like failures as a result of this vendetta to put women in their place but aren't yet strong enough to defend themselves to any judgmental weirdos!

In the UK 1% of mums exclusively breastfeed to 6 months.
I think it's less than 50% still breastfeeding after one week.
There is a large Infant Feeding Survey which is done regularly, so you can check the numbers for yourself.

I agree there is a lot of regional variation. I live in a big northern city and I probably meet a lot more breastfeeding mums than in more rural areas. Nonetheless, those are the statistics.

I am very sorry people have been critical of you bottle feeding. I don't think there's any excuse for that. It seems weird to me when practically the entire population is doing it, is all. I have had bottle-feeding mums tell me at great length why they are when all I'm doing is sitting there trying not to make a scene with my tit out and not saying a word - so I think as I said above sometimes mums are feeling guilty themselves, rather than someone else trying to make them feel guilty.

It seems that health care professionals push bf antenally "yes you should bf your baby, all the health benefits, blah blah blah" and then are the first to undermine it postnatally, by inappropriate weighing, suggesting formula as the answer to all bf problems, implying women might not "have enough milk", so many things. Not providing that all-important support immediately after birth. (Not that I'm really blaming the ridiculously understaffed hospitals for that. More midwives and less cuts, maybe?)

Blah, it's a massive systemic problem and it doesn't help ANYONE to direct criticism at mothers. I wish we all had good support, and I wish our society didn't make it so fucking hard.

HelenHen it is called the Infant Feeding Survey and it is large, regularly conducted, and the methods are pretty robust. Look it up.

Evidence based medicine would disagree with your comment that it makes little different. It may make little difference to individual children, but on a population level they have projected it could save the NHS £40 million /year.

Weebairn just as you sit with your tit out trying not make a scene... I sit with the bottle trying not to make a scene. I suppose everyone sees things from a subjective point of veiw; wether intentional or not.
I agree though- it is a societal issue. We live in a dog eat dog culture sadly. Everyone is pitted against eachother- women are particularly scathing of one another. Anyhoodle! I realise I am going off on tangent sorry !

Where IS This evidence though? And I've never taken the infant feeding survey. Oh do you mean when I told the doc that I'm breastfeeding about ten times a day supplemented with one bottle of formula at night and she said I'm 'partially' breastfeeding? Lol, where do they come up with that stuff?

That's why I always try and give every new mum a big smile and say "you're doing SO BRILLIANTLY! You are an amazing mum." (Hope this isn't patronising, mine's a toddler now, but I remember the hormonal fragile newborn days and I found it so helpful when people were nice!) And if people do try and get into feeding discussions with me when they are bottle feeding and feel bad about it, I never say anything more than "you have to do the right thing for your family."

I feel very passionately about the problem of breastfeeding in the UK but I don't in ANY WAY feel it is a problem caused by new mums. I think it is systemic.

Er, can you not google? Here.
No, they don't ask every woman in the country. That is not how statistical analyses are done! They take representative samples of all the births registered in a certain time period.

Exclusively breastfeeding is medically defined as only breast milk, for the sake of accuracy. I appreciate if you're breast-feeding all day it don't feel very partial!!

I'm pro bf but this is an interesting article on the problems with bf research.
Ff mums should not feel guilty
www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/the-case-against-breast-feeding/307311/

But my point remains - even if you only give one bottle of formula at bedtime, would you really sneer at a mum who gave formula at other times?

People on this thread keep saying they are criticised for bottle-feeding, but if almost everyone is giving formula, who is doing this criticising? or do you mean health care professionals? In my experience they do a lot of criticising of breastfeeding too…

Thanks for the link. I still don't understand how this evidence is considered so concrete though when you're comparing 1% of women to 99% . There are many other factors to consider, not least social status and age of mothers who DO exclusively breastfeed. Middle class, older stay at home moms are surely the majority. Maybe education and a willingness to always 'follow the rules' also ffeature. Surely these other factors would also contribute towards the health of a child? Therefore it cannot really be concluded that it is solely breastmilk responsible for any benefits. Also take third world countries where babies are only breastfed?

Weebairn i have stated several times the media criticise FF mothers (read the Daily Fail!), celebrities are always banging on about how the bf is the best feeding etc and of course docs, nurses, midwives, HCAs ALL pushed me to Bf when i physically could not ( no milk which they knew about... Go figure!?)
You must live in a very different area to me indeed to feel its vice versa...

In my experience even mentioning breast feeding calls down accusations of guilt tripping, smugness and even bullying. Some women who formula feed (sorry if that's not the right expression) seem to be on the look out for criticism.........

Oh, and it is incredibly irresponsible to say that bf can cause PND. Not being happy with the choice you make can contribute to PND. It would be just as accurate to say ff can cause PND. In other words, not accurate at all.

I agree helen ... I have to say aswell, my dd is never ill- whilst my friends babies are frequently coming down with all sorts. Now I am not saying BF doesnt help babies immune system, but in my case it really hasn't made much difference for the shorter term. Infact the illest she has been is when i effectively starved her by trying to breastfeed her with no bloody milk!?
Obviously there are benefits , but in my experience and the experience of many infact- it doesn't seem to be that sis standish for te middle class mafia to be making such a hoo ha about it!

That susbtsial* sorry!

Substansial arrrrgh hahahaha

Martarona i agree : my pnd was influenced by my inability to breastfeed and the backlash i received from that. Yes , I did receive a backlash directly and indecirectly ...

I only properly bonded with my baby after I made the decision to stop bf. The pressure was off, I felt assertive and most importantly I wasn't in pain any more. My wee boy has a tongue tie which made my nipple bleed, I then expressed all my milk but had very painful engorgement for weeks. I then switched to combination feeding in desperation because I really didn't want to give up. In the end I was just really miserable doing the odd bf here and there in amongst ff plus the guilt that I couldn't bf when I had really wanted to. Switching to ff made me so bloody happy and a much better mum.

with my first son i had a horrific birth experience (painful to sit for months), flat nipples, limited milk and disinterested baby. expressed first 6 weeks (but he always had some formula) then formula. whilst many antenatal friends crumbled with stress and guilt over feeding i felt happy and confident, my husband bonded through feeding too, and our baby thrived.

second son (born two weeks ago). hes an enthusiastic feeder but after an hour at thebreast, drinks more expressed milk out of a bottle. my supply is plentiful and im basically expressing it and hes taking most from a bottle as i simply dont have time to spend the entire day feeding.

bonding wise i find i feel an equal rush of gushy parental joy and love whether breast or bottle feeding. it matters not a hoot to me.

whilst there are so many proven benefits to bf, there areso many other factors that can affect a childs development and future health and bf is a tiny part of the overall picture.. i have seen so many families utterly stressed out by bf and im sure that cant be good either.

iv done both, and like many here have experienced the judgemental sneeriness about ff. i truly couldnt give a crap: im happy, my family is happy, my toddler appears to be remarkably healthy and intelligent even without the magical elixir of 6 months exclusive bf.

oh and im keeping going with ds2 mainly because im as fat as a house and it might help me get thin. no shame about that either.

"Weebairn i have stated several times the media criticise FF mothers (read the Daily Fail!),"

Really? Why have I never seen any? Loads of stuff about earth mothers flopping out their boobs- but no criticism of formula feeding.

Your PND was influenced by the way you feel you were treated around your feeding choices. Not by breast feeding. Don't say irresponsible things.

I'm pro-BF for mothers who want to/ are able to. I wasn't planning to BF (though ended up feeding DD until she was two) and was horrified when I informed my midwife of my choice and that I didn't want BF pushed on me at my planned home birth when her response was "but you seem like such an intelligent woman"!
I found that very upsetting.

Martorona i was agreeing with you! Please find where I have stated not bf or bf caused my pnd !? I said the backlash and pressure was a PART of the overall reason for my pnd. So please , can you not say irresponsible things as i havent. If you want to see ff mothers being slated watch any tv programme interviewing mindless celebs on the matter. YouTube is very resourceful :)
Your accusations should atleast be backed by fact.

How dare you suggest what my pnd was cases by anyway! What an irresponsible thing to get angry with someone for their reasons for pnd! You are lucky you could breastfeed. I couldnt and that led to my pnd. Simples. You cant go round saying bf doesnt cause pnd because for some women i can. The pain, the lack of milk, the constant feeding... Sorry if this fact upsets you - but its a fact all the same! Not all mothers get pnd from bf obviously! Just a few! But it can happen. No one is makin sweeping generalisations - I am not anyway ...

I do think the way they're on you pushing your boobs around to get baby to latch as soon as you've been through what for a lot of is the ordeal of birth is really unnecessary. Sure have the baby on your chest but the pushing you around in hospital is so wrong. They need proper at home bf support to really help people. I saw 2 bf consultants at home and one at the drs (in the US) before i got the latch right.

That's just your experience though weebairn which is not going to be reflective for us all. There are plenty of judgemental people, all women in my experience so far and mainly of the grandma variety who have felt very free to tell me what I should or shouldn't be doing. I do think it's part of the wider pregnancy thing too where every man and their dog seems allowed to have an opinion over your body and what you do with it. I'm sick and tired of hearing advice and what I should and should not do, and this is very much at the forefront particularly as the bf choice was taken away from me It's more expensive and a huge faff to formula feed so it would have been good to give it a go.

As I said earlier up thread my doctors have told me under no circumstances am I breastfeeding so no, it's not from health professionals from my perspective. I know it is a problem in the UK with attitude and health professionals hence my mention of charities trying to do something about it.

Also what is worse, a baby starving and mother stress levels (in itself not a good thing at all) through not being able to feed, or giving a bottle now and then. The majority of angst is in what is called those 'precious first few weeks' well before your time frame of ff being used readily so guilt upon guilt can piled onto already distressed mums from peers, family, health care people, etc etc.

Again, if it is a non-issue as some of you say it is, then why do so many of us experience such negativity? It's alive and kicking I assure you.

The thing is though when your bf'ing your not free of the judgments of society. The amount of articles I have read saying how disgusting it is to bf in public and so on is really very saddening. I nearly gave up bf'ing my ds1 because I was so nervous about bf'ing in public. Then there's people who find bf'ing past 6 months weird, I've had looks and the odd comment about me bf'ing a 10 month old like it's weird. My own Mum thought it was time to move him on to formula when he was 6 months old.

Our society isn't set up to support bf'ing although it may seem that way. When I was having difficulties in the first few weeks I had to seek the support out for myself, no one had talked to me about cluster feeding and if I hadn't sought support I think I possibly would have given up thinking my milk supply was low.

I guess my point is no matter how you choose to feed people will judge and I certainly haven't escaped pressure by bf'ing my two babies.