Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

40 pregnant and feel embarrassed :(

72 replies

Hewhodares · 21/02/2014 21:01

Hello people

I am a mumsnet novice so please bare with me. I'm confused and so worried and alone...but I'm not!
So here goes - I have two beautiful daughters aged 7&10 who are the light of my life. Happily married and been with my husband for 20 years - all good.
Run my own successful business...however one thing was always missing.. Baby no3. There was always meant to be 3. As my business grew after I had the girls Baby No3 had to wait. 18months ago I realised that we had better get a wiggle on! Four miscarriages later I am 15 weeks pregnant with no 3! Yippppeeeee!
However...I can't seem to tell anyone. My family and friends know about the previous m/carriages and were relieved when I said that we had decided to stop trying...baby no3 had other ideas!
I am so worried about what my friends and family are going to say - I think it's my age? I also think that they see me with a very busy business and think 'what the hell has she done that for?'
I know I've got to say something soon as my jeans are getting tighter!

Just feel very alone... And bloody stupid for worrying so much. I'm wondering if I'm just nervous of losing this one too and don't want to have to face tell everyone that I've mucked up again...
Thanks for listening and sorry for waffling...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 21/02/2014 21:05

Stop worrying you daft mare. All anyone with any manners will say is "congratulations". They will be delighted for you.

Congratulations

NatashaBee · 21/02/2014 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moreyear · 21/02/2014 21:09

Congratulations - what wonderful, exciting news.

Smartiepants79 · 21/02/2014 21:12

This is something you've always wanted and presumably have planned for. You're in a stable relationship with a DH who is, again presumably, fully on board with another baby.
People may have concerns but those who truly love you will be happy and supportive.
Good luck.

PissesGlitter · 21/02/2014 21:13

Congratulations

No one will say anything negative
And if they do just say 'piss off'

Original poster

Hewhodares · 21/02/2014 21:15

Lol! I am quite good at the 'piss off' thank you all I do know how pathetic it all sounds.

OP posts:

Iwillorderthefood · 21/02/2014 21:15

I am in a similar position, only my DC3 is a mistake, and am 24 weeks pg. everyone knew we stopped at two, we got rid of all our baby stuff last Summer and hey presto October comes with two lines on a test. My family have been amazing, as have my friends. The worst thing about it at the moment is that I am so grey. Will be 40 when I have this one, but honestly, everyone has been supportive.

I felt a little embarrassed telling people, but I need not have been.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

Original poster

Hewhodares · 21/02/2014 21:20

Bless you @Iwillorderthefood It's a comfort to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. I'm really pleased to hear that your freinds and family have been supportive to you. I want to be really excited but I'm just very cautious at the moment x thank you for your good luck wishes and I send you heaps in return.

OP posts:

BigBoobiedBertha · 21/02/2014 21:20

Presumably your family and friends were relieved that you said you weren't going to try for more babies because they didn't want to see you hurt and upset again, not because they didn't think No. 3 would be a bad idea. I am sure they will be delighted when you finally tell them and they will probably understand that it took you a while when you have had so many miscarriages and you needed to be sure this time that it wouldn't happen again.

If anybody says anything about your age or your business or anything really you just have to ignore them. This is the right thing for you and you and your DH are happy about it. You haven't mucked up at all.

Why don't you just hand your scan picture to somebody, you don't have to say anything and let them spread the word. It would be better than somebody guessing and confronting you. I bet everybody who matters will be pleased for you.

Congratulations though. I hope you have a hassle free and happy pregnancy and a beautiful baby at the end of it.

frannie2013 · 21/02/2014 21:24

Congratulations!!! i bet your children will be very excited for the new arrival too.
i know what you mean, though in different way. i'm 12 weeks, and 38, been with OH for 2 years and v happy. i just worry that people will say / think things like "oh she must have been so desperate all these years", "what about your job" "aren't you a bit old?" "oh not another one" (in my family, in 12 months two of my sisters and 2 of my nieces would have had babies and then i'll have mine - Yes there are loads of children in my family...)
i know i shouldn't worry as i'll happily tell them to eff-off but i'm currently SO hormonal i'm dreading it as know i will just burst into tears when i tell them, but have to soon! (no one else knows yet!!)
however saying all that, removing all my crazy emotions, I agree with the others, they should all be happy for you and if they are not then stuff them. so long as you and baby are healthy that's the most important thing!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 21/02/2014 21:27

I'm 38 and have 2 dcs aged 18 and 25. I am 37 weeks with number 3.
People do ask me if I'm mad, I just laugh and say too bloody right!
One thing I've found in this pg, which hasn't been straight forward at all, is if you are positive, other people generally follow your lead.
"We are SO happy! We've wanted another for years and are finally pg with number 3!"
Only a real twat would piss on your chips if you show that you are really happy.

Original poster

Hewhodares · 21/02/2014 21:28

@BigBoobedBertha your right and I hadn't thought of it like that before...yes it would have been that I wasn't going to suffer anymore m/c that they were relieved about. Thank you for your wise words. I think I am just going to show the scan picture and let them do the rest.
Much appreciated

OP posts:

Original poster

Hewhodares · 21/02/2014 21:34

@SaggyOldClothBagPuss your right it's how I come across that's going to sort this. I'm just not a very confident person and am way to sensitive. Wow to you that's amazing news congratulations xx

OP posts:

ElloGuvnor · 21/02/2014 21:36

Congratulations. I'm in a similar situation, expecting number 3 and I know friends and family will think we're crazy when I eventually am brave enough to tell them. DH and I are both happy but not sure how the news will be received. I hope all goes well for you Hewhodares.

Original poster

Hewhodares · 21/02/2014 21:39

@frannie2013 thank you my children have spent the past few years asking me repeatedly for a baby...even today..they will be over the moon.
Is this your first? You see from an outsider looking in at your post I can tell they are going to be thrilled for you. It's funny how we build in these worries making them into huge hurdles that hopefully don't exist.

I'm still so worried though!
Congratulations to you and enjoy every precious moment x

OP posts:

minilegofigure · 21/02/2014 21:40

Congratulations. I'm forty and have been feeling very broody for number 3. I was talking to my friend who was off celebrating her spritly dmil 91st birthday. My friend told me her dmil had her dh when she was 47 after a big age gap. All brothers and sisters get on well and were all off to celebrate. Made me feel all things are possible. I think the poster who said be positive and others will take your lead was spot on. Good luck and congratulations again .

Original poster

Hewhodares · 21/02/2014 21:41

Thank you @ElloGuvnor and congratulations to you too. I'm realising that I'm not mad in being worried about people's reactions as there's a few of us who are!

OP posts:

Original poster

Hewhodares · 21/02/2014 21:43

@minilegofigure thank you very much. Once that broodiness is switched on its very difficult to ignore it. Wishing you lots of luck with your decision x

OP posts:

starfishmummy · 21/02/2014 21:53

Congratulations

ElloGuvnor · 21/02/2014 21:53

Thanks for your congratulations. I'm mostly worried the people will think we've bitten off more than we can chew and worried because I agree with them! We don't live near to my family or in laws so have struggled in the past with the two DCs we already have. I'm a worrier by nature so will find it hard to be positive in the face of negative comments.

Daytona79 · 21/02/2014 21:54

Is no ones business but yours and partners

My sister had a baby at 18 then again at 42 , she is now 44 and daughter is 2 and her and her husband are fabulous parents

Her son who is 24 thought it a tad strange but he soon got over it and loves his wee sister now.

weebigmamma · 21/02/2014 21:56

Congratulations!!! I am 38 and have had only good comments apart from one person who said 'Glad it's not us!' Urgh. Anyway, fuck the begrudgers, there are plenty of people who will share your joy :-)

I am 33 weeks now and have found mumsnet really wonderful in terms of support. To be honest I was expecting it to be more judgemental (sorry!!) but I was wrong- people here are generally lovely. xxx

hoboken · 21/02/2014 21:56

You will be fine. I was 42 with no. 3 and the pregnancy was a complete surprise. She is now almost 20.

DramaAlpaca · 21/02/2014 21:57

What lovely news. Congratulations

Original poster

Hewhodares · 21/02/2014 21:59

Thank you all so much :)

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3