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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

40 pregnant and feel embarrassed :(

72 replies

Hewhodares · 21/02/2014 21:01

Hello people

I am a mumsnet novice so please bare with me. I'm confused and so worried and alone...but I'm not!
So here goes - I have two beautiful daughters aged 7&10 who are the light of my life. Happily married and been with my husband for 20 years - all good.
Run my own successful business...however one thing was always missing.. Baby no3. There was always meant to be 3. As my business grew after I had the girls Baby No3 had to wait. 18months ago I realised that we had better get a wiggle on! Four miscarriages later I am 15 weeks pregnant with no 3! Yippppeeeee!
However...I can't seem to tell anyone. My family and friends know about the previous m/carriages and were relieved when I said that we had decided to stop trying...baby no3 had other ideas!
I am so worried about what my friends and family are going to say - I think it's my age? I also think that they see me with a very busy business and think 'what the hell has she done that for?'
I know I've got to say something soon as my jeans are getting tighter!

Just feel very alone... And bloody stupid for worrying so much. I'm wondering if I'm just nervous of losing this one too and don't want to have to face tell everyone that I've mucked up again...
Thanks for listening and sorry for waffling...

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SweetPea86 · 22/02/2014 21:49

I'm 27 and if a 40 old lady told me she was preganant I would re at the exact same way as some one younger or my age.

You have two children already and a fab marriage and a successful business. A third child will be hard but not because you are 40 because you are a busy lady. Don't worry what others think if any one says anything their just jealous.

Congratulations have a healthy pregnancy

RandomMess · 22/02/2014 21:52

Congratulations on number 3 Smile

Original poster
Hewhodares · 22/02/2014 22:31

Good luck rabbitfromahat go for it. Thank you all for your supportive comments SweetPea86 eeeeeek yes it's going to be a juggle but lots of fun and happiness along the way too - wise words and thank you. RandomnMess thank you very much - oh I like it here!

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elliejjtiny · 23/02/2014 00:00

Congratulations. I'm accidently pregnant with baby 5. I'm younger than you (31) but have 4 already, 2 with disabilities. I've managed to get to 21 weeks hardly telling anyone because I'm worried about what people will say.

RandomInternetStranger · 23/02/2014 18:36

I'll be 37 when this one arrives and I'm still one of the younger mums in DDs year. I plan on having more in my 40s. I don't think it's too old at all. 50 is pushing it but 40 I think is perfectly fine!Smile

Original poster
Hewhodares · 23/02/2014 19:17

elliejjtiny I'm sorry to hear that you are also worried its such a worrying time. I'm sure your an amazing mum who is going to cope brilliantly - dont let others get you down. Thinking of you Thanks

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Original poster
Hewhodares · 23/02/2014 19:21

RandomnInternetStranger thank you and wishing you much happiness with this pregnancy and the others your planning! I hope your right re 40 being fine..I will soon see!

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RabbitFromAHat · 23/02/2014 19:21

Thank you for your kindness, dares and MadameJosephine!

Original poster
Hewhodares · 04/03/2014 20:51

Quick update - all good! So far everyone seems very very happy to hear our news. Heard babies heartbeat yesterday and all is going well - now I'm very excited!
Thank you for all of your lovely supportive messages it really helped through a stressful time, And was very much appreciated!

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Original poster
Hewhodares · 04/03/2014 20:52

elliejjtiny have been thinking about you - have you told anyone yet? Hope your doing ok x

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duchesse · 04/03/2014 21:09

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!

40 is the new 30 in child-bearing. Fastest-growing group in terms of fertility. Depends where you live I guess- I would imagine that in some parts of the country, you'd be in good company.

I had DD3 at 41. Apart from the medical alarm about my age, all was well physically with the pregnancy and none of the diseases they warned about materialised- I was fitter than many 20 somethings.

And you don't have to say anything. It's none of their business and you could just keep em guessing until you turn up with a baby if you want.

Original poster
Hewhodares · 04/03/2014 21:14

duchesse that's good to hear. Your right that its no ones business apart from ours really. Thank you. Feeling positively sprightly!

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aclxxx · 04/03/2014 23:35

Another bump just over 40, this is DC2. Congrats and happy pregnancy

elliejjtiny · 05/03/2014 10:00

Thankyou for thinking of me. No, I haven't told anyone yet. I've got my 20 week scan tomorrow so I'm going to wait until that and the consultant appointment is done. I want to make the vbac/C-section choice with DH with no "helpful suggestions" from relatives. After that I think we will tell people but still really nervous. I'm glad you got positive responses.

Original poster
Hewhodares · 05/03/2014 20:00

Congratulations aclxx happy pregnancy to you too! When are you due?

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Original poster
Hewhodares · 05/03/2014 20:02

elliejjtiny wishing you a very happy scan tomorrow. I'm really hoping you feel able to tell them when your ready - must admit though I was really enjoying keeping the news to myself! Love to know how it all goes x

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aclxxx · 05/03/2014 21:11

Thank you Hewhodares . Very early June! seems ages to go.
Congratulations to all mummy to be

mum2fourds · 28/04/2014 21:37

Im 42 have 4 boys ranging in age from 20 to 6 and am 21 weeks pg with no 5....complete surprise and i have been feeling exactly same way....embarrassed and silly but to be fair to everyone ....friends and family....I've had nothing but positive comments....its more my own perception of myself i think....i have only just told my boss and felt terrible about 'letting him down' as the company is at something of a crossroads and the next 7-8 months is going to be a crucial time...also i have ongoing issues with a bully at work who makes no secret of his disdain for married women/mothers in workplace and who also treated me likeep shit when i was pregnant with last child so stress of all of this is not helping....anyway sorry for taking up your thread with my woes.....deep down i am really excited about this baby and am already in lone with him/her...the rest will work itself out....congrats and all the best with everything xx

ZingWatermelon · 28/04/2014 22:01

Congratulations on this pg and also sorry for your MCs.Thanks

I'm expecting #7 in July and will be 40 in August.
you will be just fine!Smile

PacificDogwood · 28/04/2014 22:08

(Oh no, that Zing again; she's everywhere Grin)

Hewhodares, when I rocked up to see my lovely obstetrician pregnant with much-wanted DS4 age 43, I was mortified (also had had 4 MCs). I expected much tooth-sucking and finger-waggling re risks to follow.
Nobody bat a single eye lid Grin
I asked him old the oldest mother he had delivered had been and he said 56 Shock - I shit you not!

My own mother thought I was totally mad, mind you…

Congratulations Thanks, what wonderful news.
I hope you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

Pigginnora · 29/04/2014 00:03

Dd is 12 weeks old. I'm 40.

I've also had baby's in my teens, 20's & 30 ' s. Dd is dc6. There's quite a b few years between Dc5 & dc6. I wouldn't change her for the world!

I absolutely adore & cherish her. There's a lot to be said for being a little older & alot wiser!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 29/04/2014 00:16

I am also 40 and have a lovely 2 week old in the crib next to me Smile

Nobody batted an eyelid at all and the MW said she considered 50+ to be an older mother not 40. Shock

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