how do you actually cope with the sickness, I mean practically speaking?

[lighteningmcmama]

I don't mean remedies, ime none of then really worked for me except maybe ice cubes but it's too cold for that.

I mean how do you manage to keep going when you feel so rubbish? Whether at work out with other kids to look after, how do you keep up with things as far as is possible? When you feel so drained and sick.

And can someone please tell me the secret of quietly vomiting so no one notices? I have 2 play dates this week and a lunch out, and I don't know how to run away and vomit and do so quietly if I need to. I honestly can't figure out how people manage to keep being pregnant quiet for 12 weeks!

I haven't vomited yet but I feel v nauseous and today is the first day I've been fighting the urge to vomit.

Bump

I found going to bed really really early (like as soon as DD went down, or in some cases leaving her to DH and going to bed at 6pm!) really helped - mine was much worse when tired. I also found eating something very plain often helped too - like a cracker every 15mins or so, or keeping a bag of salt and vinegar on the go, having just 2 or 3 at a time. DD watched a lot of DVDs while I lay around feeling like death. I was never actually sick (partly because I absolutely hate being sick so will fight it all the way) but did have a few weeks of terrible nausea and fatigue that I thought I would never get through. Is it worth talking to the doctor in case it's HG?

Also, you say you've tried all remedies so probably not helpful, but I found 'sea bands' that you wear on your wrists really helped me. Weirdly, wearing both didn't help but just wearing one on my left wrist on the acupressure point really calmed the nausea down.

I'm afraid I think keeping the vomiting secret is pretty hard. How pregnant are you? By 8 weeks I was retching into the bin at work (or crouching over the kerb on the way home retching into the gutter) and there's just a limit to how discreet you can be really... Do you have some times of day better than others? Maybe you can try to arrange things at the times of day you are least likely to actually be sick?

As for carrying on, I just tried to sleep a lot so the time would pass quicker (and because I was exhausted), which i know doesn't work for everybody (and probably not if you have other small kids), but for me the evenings were worst so I just went to bed as early as I could. Occasionally I would wake up in the middle of the night and not feel sick for the first few seconds while I was waking up, and those few seconds were such bliss. I used to really hang on to those moments.

I ended up telling my boss about my pregnancy at about 8 weeks (before I told anybody else other than my OH) because I pretty quickly realised I just wasn't going to be able to get any meaningful work done after about 3pm. I think just accepting that I couldn't do everything I wanted to do was an important step.

I did also get some anti-sickness drugs from the GP. I have to admit they didn't really seem to do much for me (I think they may have stopped me from actually throwing up for a couple of hours, but they definitely didn't make me feel any better), so I only took about 3 - but it was sort of comforting to have them in my bag for big meetings etc.

Other than that, just knowing that the time will pass and it will get better. And I kept getting told that sickness is a good sign for the health of the pregancy, which I think is statistically true. I can't say it helped me much (I just thought "I want to be one of the many healthy pregnancies with no sickness"!!), but I know some people find that comforting.

Good luck, it will get better xx

I always found it worse when tired, but in the early days of pregnancy I was working 10-13 hour days. I'm now put off pickled onion crisps after throwing them up

I was also really congested and snotty in early pregnancy, probably until the start of the second trimester. Anyway, I think this wasn't helping my nausea, but pretty much every morning I was making myself sick when I brushed my teeth in the shower. It was the only way I could relieve myself of feeling rotten, and whenever I'm sick I have an awful habit of having a major sweat and absolutely reeking of b.o. It meant I could kill two birds with one stone. Be sick in something reasonable and have a shower to stop me feeling dirty.

Hope you feel better soon OP

I don't think there is a solution and I definitely don't know how to be sick quietly (19 weeks and still sick daily) all I can suggest is find what times your worst and don't make plans for then...mine is luckily in the evenings so not to bad at work. Did have to run to the loo occasionally and kept a carrier bag in the car for the drive home. I'm sure many people at work guessed but they were all polite enough not to say anything until I announced it!

If it helps I found that sniffing a slice of cut lemon, or any lemony smell helped to delay actually being sick for a couple of minutes, to give me time to walk leisurely [sneak away] and be sick discretely, but then it turned into hyperemesis and I there was no way I could hide it.

I used to put lemon scented body lotion on my arms/wrists, (burts bees mama bee body oil is perfect!) and the if I started to think I was going to be sick I'd discretely sniff my wrist, ie. run hand through hair to waft smell, rest face on hand/fist on chin etc.

To be sick quietly, (warning - this is a bit grim but it kept me from being found out) put some tissue in the bowl of the toilet, and another lot over your mouth so that in effect you're sick into the tissue (you will need a big wad of tissue and don't hold it too tightly against your mouth, just firmly as you need to let the sick escape). This takes a bit of coordination and you have to be quick about it, but really helps to muffle the sound of the being sick and the splashing of vomit into the toilet water (sorry). It is quite messy though as the (warning tmi) sick tends to run down your chin if you aren't careful, so be sure to check and wipe before exiting the toilet.

Another way of doing it is to flush the toilet as you start being sick, but this never worked as well for me. One last tip, if your wear make up, take some blusher/bronzer into the toilet and whisk some over your cheeks after being sick as it disguises the just been sick look! If you don't wear makeup, just pinch your cheeks a bit. I also wore a lot of Clarins beauty flash balm as it made me look a bit less zombie-fied!

Really hope you feel better soon, being sick is horrible.

I should add that re the sliced lemon, if you're in a cafe and can manage it, a cup of decaff or fruit tea with a slice of lemon in wafts the smell nicely without looking weird or obvious

I've given up trying to be discrete. When I throw up I make a lot of very loud burping noises! They just come out with the sick. I can't help it. There's no way I can hide it.

I always had a carrier bag with me, also a scarf that sort of smelt neutral (!) that I could breathe into - sometimes concentrating on that would help a bit and block out other smells etc. I also used seabands.

I carry a re-sealable food bag in my pocket, already upzipped and ready to go. plastic bags have holes in them-then what do you do with it?

There's no way I could be quiet throwing up, they are quite, sudden violent and they come up with a lot of air!

Sorry not much help.

I vomited every morning after I got up - just retching bile. I still felt wretched but found that as long as I'd been sick first thing, I didn't vomit again (usually).

Nappy bag in pockets to vom in as they don't have holes like plastic bags.
Tissues/wipes in bag to clean up with.
Fruit sweets or little snacks like pretzels can help ward off nausea.
Don't leave it too long between eating.
Distraction helps for me. Taking dd out really helps. I don't actually get involved too much and end up deep breathing a lot but it does help.
I hate being sick but feel so much better that sometimes I just go and heave a bit over the loo and usually end up being sick. Nasty but the relief after is so worth it. Can't be quiet puking tho. Loudest vommer I know I'm afraid no help at all

Failing all that I'm just praying to god it ends soon and I start to bloom.
I'm not holding out much hope.
Good luck.

Thank you all for all your replies. The tips on how to actually silently vomit are amazing! I so wish I'd known that with dc1 when I had to vomit in the bathroom and two colleagues heard so I had to tell them even though I didn't want to...hopefully I won't need it this time but it's reassuring to have a plan in mind should I need it!

planning activities for when I'm at my best is a great idea, I've sent messages to reschedule the play dates for the afternoon :)

I hate this stage. It's dc3 and it doesn't help that it's a surprise (I was hoping to be pregnant later in the year for dc3). I hate this stage more than Labour, that I can cope with!

It's the feeling drained that is really hard when I have 2dcs to look after.