OMG

[Tea1Sugar]

I just got a mirror to inspect my lady garden and. my fanny looks like a yeti.

Desperately desperately need a wax. Anyone else been ignoring their "upkeep"?! I'll book one for Tuesday at 31 weeks and hopefully that'll last me until another one at 38 weeks before elcs.

Poor poor dp :-(

Nobody is haranguing. I would hate a pregnant woman to feel obliged to remove her pubic hair on the basis of threads like this, and it's perfectly reasonable to point out that there is no need to (and indeed that it's probably best to leave it alone).

Women have hair removal. An increasing amount of men go for hair removal. I imagine few men going for a back sac and crack simply to please someone else. 20 years is a long time for something to be around its not new.

Some partners prefer women and or men without hair. Some partners prefer hair. The vast majority really don't mind either way. As for the school comment that behaviour sounds typical. If it wasn't about pubes it would be something else.

You're on a thread full of grown women incubating babies. It's very easy for us to choose how we groom ourselves.

Op don't feel shit. I know what type of wax to ask for at the very least :)

And no one feels obliged for God's sake, particularly going into labour. If you are used to regularly being waxed or shaving or whatever then it's something you wonder about. I certainly do and it would be tmi to explain why. And any beautician worth their salt will advise on what is doable or not depending on how your skin reacts.

Some of these posts are patronising beyond belief.

If dealing with a bit of other's 'overthinking' on a discussion forum makes you feel 'like shit', you might want to step away from the internet.

Why are people assuming it's an all or nothing with the pubes? I keep mine short and have it neatly waxed, it really would be down my legs otherwise. It's no more and no less than that. It's a big jump from yeti to waxing to bald as a golden eagle, not necessarily as sinister as some people are making out!

I was going to be a smart arse and point out that it's not Golden Eagles that are bald, it's Bald Eagles.

But it turns out (thanks, Wikipedia!) that Bald Eagles aren't bald

Bald Eagles are not actually bald; the name derives from an older meaning of "white headed".

So there you go.

Hah insert name of other hairless animal here

Naked mole rat?!

Sphynx cat?

Don't worry about dry shaving for a section. If you have a section the whole area will be numb for weeks, as long as it takes to grow back. So you will miss out on the itchy stage.

What an eventful bath that was...

Trying to shave my legs was an absolute effort - I could barely breathe by the end of it

Then I moved on to attempting a blind shave of my bikini line and bloody hell, it was traumatic!!!! I can't believe how difficult it was when only 3 weeks ago I managed no problem!! In the end, after about 10 minutes of faffing about I thought, "Sod it, I can't be arsed" and gave up

I'm very disappointed in myself as I SWORE I would never let things get out of control no matter how pregnant I was!!! It is definitely tidier than it was but definitely not to my usual standard

The obligation comes from reading that other pregnant women feel unclean and less desirable if they can't remove their public hair.

That impression had to be questioned. If someone had posted a 'lighthearted' thread about not feeling able to do pretty much anything unnecessary because of their pregnancy, especially if it came across as being for their husband's sake, I'd have said the same.

I don't give a monkey's what other people do with their pubic hair. As long as it's their choice.

As I said earlier, the language we have started to couch this is has become worrying. And please don't take my words and twist them as you did with the word frightening. I am not worried about waxing or pubic hair, I'm worried about the attitude. Just like a poster before me was frightened of a prevalent attitude. The creeping assumptions about hygiene which are actually inaccurate for example. It always reminds me of the circumcision argument. Many, many men and women who live in cultures where it's been normal for years say a circumcised man just seems 'cleaner' and cleanliness is still trotted out as a reason for doing it. No, I am not making a direct comparison between circumcision and pubic hair removal either, I'm merely acknowledging the way the words we use around something, can seep into the public consciousness. The hyperbole of forests and bushes and out of control and poor menz, all add up to something greater than a few woman on a public forum having a lighthearted chat about personal grooming.

You have to think outside this thread. There are hundreds of threads on MN alone discussing this. Women aghast about attending a smear without grooming, a very memorable thread where a HCP talked about colleagues 'laughing' at women with natural pubic hair and many, many references to how much cleaner, nicer and more hygienic it is. Go to YouTube and watch a beautiful, natural delivery of a baby. Then read the vile and disgusting views underneath about the woman who hasn't removed her pubic hair. Because a video for public consumption showing a woman with pubic hair has been reduced down to a niche fetish. You can't deny what the porn industry has done to the perception of pubic hair. Porn is everywhere. You take the mildest images in newspapers and magazines and splashed across billboards and women are hair free. All the way through to the hardcore stuff. The hair has been removed so that the male gaze is unimpeded. Women are stripped bare. And it's about gratification. Is this RL? Nope. Does it affect RL? My God yes.

I could list here the tales of women I know who have gone back to dating after years of marriage and a divorce, the things I've heard from a couple of much younger friends and very sadly, what I'm told by my teenage niece about attitudes from other girls in the school changing room. I could compare it to how things were when I was growing up. Is there pressure there from a young age now? Disgust? Feelings of shame? Alarmingly so. I can ensure my dd has the best self esteem I can equip her with. I can encourage her, I can lead by example but when she's 15 and the only girl who does differently and is singled out for it, can I stop how that feels? And when it's a wider issue? When the boys turning into men around her are chasing out a generation where there is an 'expected' norm and it's in no small part influenced by the exploitation of women through porn. Where people can levy charges of 'unhygienic' at her and say it with utter confidence. When the tabloids and magazines publish 'shock horror, woman with armpit hair, euuuugggghhhh' stories to promote shame over something natural. Am I allowed to worry about my dd growing up to believe that her own body 'should' be or do anything as dictated by external influences? I think I am. And I think I probably should.

A lighthearted thread about personal grooming is in theory, fine. Trying to shave your legs or trim your pubic hair is the same as trying to tie your shoelaces or put on your knickers or sit down on the floor with a toddler. It's cumbersome and annoying and funny and something to chatter about. But of course we don't make value judgements about people with accidental odd socks. We shrug, laugh and move on. The language we use about pubic hair is something else entirely.

Great post, Showy.

It doesn't trouble me that this thread is both lighthearted and thoughtful and I'm not sure why anyone has felt judged, harangued etc.

I feel entirely comfortable asking for my lovely DP's help with grooming, while being massively concerned about the deep misogyny I see all around me, particularly the specific issue discussed here.

DP has read the thread too because bits of it made me LOL. Nothing said makes him uncomfortable as a man because, as a human, he shares the same concerns, not least because his child will have to find her way in a world in which women and girls remain unequal.

What an excellent post Showy.

Thumbs up Showy. Am sad that people need it spelled out to them, but glad you had the time and inclination to do it.

Showy so well put.
sometimes it takes 'lighthearted' threads to touch a nerve and just think alittle bit deeper about why we do what we do, why we make the choices that we do.
I see nothing wrong with that.

Tea1sugar dont take it personally everyone has different views on these subjects, its not worth taking to heart! I understand where ur coming from as per my prev post but its something i have always done it wasnt down to bullying or magazines but experimenting as you do when your young whether its plucking your eyebrows or shaving your legs and so its been part of my routine since i was about 15 now 31! My dp isnt bothered either way however if i let it grow due to my own laziness/forgetfullness then i wld also say poor dp because he is used to it being a certain way but not because he expects it to be a certain way.

I am interested in other views on the subject but im not offended by them so pls dnt feel like shit because of them

beautifully put mummytobe2014

Thanks for saying the rest of us are dumbasses mintyy unable to make own decisions or too stupid to see what evils there are in a bikini wax.

We're all well aware of the problems of body image in society which affects both men and women by the way. And if you can't teach your children how to be decent human beings, to ignore what a random and insignificant bunch of pathetic prepubescent strangers/adults with no life do on the Internet and how to stand up for themselves in school and in life because inevitably there are twats all over, as well as to respect themselves and one another and make choices they are comfortable with, then you've failed as a parent.

If you can't see that the issue has fuck all to do with pubic hair and everything to do with failings in culture and society egged on by the likes of celebrity culture and Perez Hilton type bitchyness which, by the way, begins at home with what boys and girls learn, then perhaps you should post somewhere else and let the rest of us pregnant women look forward to the time that we can resume our personal grooming again and how best we can manage till then.

If you don't wax, shave, epilate, whatever, thats absolutely fine. But don't make out you are some sort of moral superior over women who choose from their own free will to do so.

And urgh less of the man hating insinuations reducing them to mindless beasts and dark references to paedophilia preferences. How ridiculous to tar 3.5 billion of the world's population with the same brush.

By the way, porn has been around since the dawn of time. Pubescent boys and I'm pretty sure some girls, will be doing all they can to get their hands on it as often as possible, whether you like it or not. And it is actually a safe way of self sexual exploration and I know this because I live in a country where people couldn't give two hoots about porn and has one of the lowest teenage pregnancy rates in Europe.

Actually, if I wasn't pregnant I'd suggest a joint or two. Might relax people's hysteria a bit as well as not sending my pg hormones into [anger]

I'm off but OP I liked your thread, shame some people tried to turn it into an inappropriate place to spout off nonsense.

Best take my ignorance back to my waxing salon where I'm going to brave another Brazilian. Can't wait. Dh is going to love it

This is hilarious! !

can I ask have any of you ever "gone down" on a woman with a hairy muff? I personally haven't but I can imagineit would be something like licking that bit of carpet by the window where the dog lays...

I will agree I personally find something a bit creepy and pre pubescent about a completely shaven haven but there is no shame in being "well groomed"

I sure hope to god that any of those who are making such a fuss about those of us who like to keep tidy are not shaving there legs armpits and any other region either... because there was once a time when women didnt hack of that section of hair either!

And if we really going to get on to the "brainwashed by media and its a generation thing..." then can I please remind you all women having been rear arranging their livers and various other organs in corsets and poisoning themselves with lead based make up to look prettier for years.... each to their own clearly. Times HAVE changed thats life! Im sure in years to come we will be blessed with our children doing things that seemsilly to us!

I would also like to add that I while I do keep tidy down there I would be offended if oh was "disgusted" by it butif Ihe was I wouldn't be with him having his child now would I....

Thanks livingzuid, enjoy your brazilian

zigglettwiglett - your hairy muff/dogs part of the carpet analogy nearly made me choke on my sandwich

bloody hell

can I ask have any of you ever "gone down" on a woman with a hairy muff? I personally haven't but I can imagineit would be something like licking that bit of carpet by the window where the dog lays...

And there you go.

Oh dear.

unbelievable