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Original poster

Found out it's twin girls and people's reactions are making me upset

95 replies

Evie2014 · 06/02/2014 08:57

We just found out that the 20-week babies I'm expecting are both girls. I've only told a few people so far but now I don't want to tell anyone else in case the reactions hurt me more. So far I've had two people say: "Oh, what a pity one of them isn't a boy." One person even said (in presumably what she thought was a comforting way), "Don't worry, they do make mistakes- maybe one of them will turn out to be a boy."

I have a feeling this is going to get worse the more people we tell. We are expats living in a country where boys are valued more than girls. I know people are stupid but I can't help being really upset and angry. I am beginning to dread people commenting on my bump now, in case they ask the gender and then I have to deal with the "commiserations".

I'm probably over reacting here. Any nice comforting words?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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WhatWouldFreddieDo · 06/02/2014 10:01

don't these stupid people know, it's far superior to have a matching set Wink

AbiRoad · 06/02/2014 10:06

I have (non-id) twin girls and really cannot recommend it highly enough. I did not get this comment (I did get many other stupid twin comments though!). We did not find out sex in advance which might be why (harder to make this type of comment faced with real live babies). My two are quite differnet but get on fantasitcally. Before I had DC I probably would have thought that in an ideal world one of each is best, but actually I am now of the view that 2 the same sex is preferable as they like a lot of the same things and get on so well (clearly it depends on the children though so would not want to generalise too much).

Peacenquiet2 · 06/02/2014 10:07

Stealth, lol! I loved those books!
I would love to have had twin girls op and my dd often says she wishes she had a twin. Sadly my dd was meant to be a twin and her sister/brother was lost early in the pg (we have never told her about it). Ignore the ignorant people who dont think before they open their mouths and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.
Congratulations x

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 06/02/2014 10:13

Oh you LUCKY thing!!

Congratulations!

I'd agree with introducing it with 'Exactly what we wanted - two girls! Sisters!!'

And if any negatives ome through - look puzzled. 'It's really sad you think that. We wouldn't change the sex for anything.'

blueberryupsidedown · 06/02/2014 10:16

I'm very jealous; I really wanted twin girls!

Agree with suggestion that you say to people 'we are so pleased, we're having twin girls' leaving no place for nasty comments.

aristocat · 06/02/2014 10:18

Congratulations. Lucky you!

I am v Envy at your twin girls

Mummytobe2014 · 06/02/2014 10:24

Congratulations Smile

Ignore all the stupid people, its amazing to be blessed with one baby let alone two and who cares what sex they r all that matters is that they are healthy and you the parents r happy!! People dnt seem to engage theit brains before speaking so pls try and take with a pinch of salt.

Agree with prev posts and leave no room for such comments.

X

TwoThreeFourSix · 06/02/2014 10:46

Oh and just to add, my grandmother was a twin (identical). Best friends for life, quite literally.

CuteLittleToes · 06/02/2014 11:20

Aww two little girls, how lovely! They will be so close.

Just tell anyone who comments with even a tint of negativity to butt off. Congratulations Flowers

Wolfiefan · 06/02/2014 11:29

It's twin girls. We are so excited!
Or
I'm so pleased they are both healthy!

People are odd. Babies are amazing. Twins are a double blessing. Double the snuggles!

neversleepagain · 06/02/2014 13:20

I have twin girls and like you I had three possible options - B/B, G/G, B/G. Some people did say that one of each would have completed our family. Yes, strangers do like to decided when you have completed your family, you will find this a lot. You become like public property when you have twins, people think it is acceptable to ask very personal questions, stop and stare or comment (sometimes even point), you will get used to it.

My girls have completely different personalities and look very different too but they are extremely close.

You are very lucky, you have some wonderful moments ahead of you. Congratulations Thanks

Miggsie · 06/02/2014 13:23

You get what you get and love them - that's what having kids is.

I really get annoyed with people who want to prescribe what gender and how many of each you should have.

aroha77 · 06/02/2014 13:34

Congratulations!! I have a twin sister and it's the best thing ever :)

HowAboutNo · 06/02/2014 13:37

Wow congratulations!!! Thanks oosh I love twins!

(Fuck everyone who says anything negative)

elliejjtiny · 06/02/2014 13:44

Congratulations. Twin girls sound lovely, you can dress them in those matching styles but different colours dresses from next. If this one is a dd I'll want to do that with her and her close in age cousin. I think SIL is hoping I'll have a boy Grin.

mrsmugoo · 06/02/2014 13:58

elliejjtiny Mine will also have a very close in age female cousin - funny you should say that about your SIL - mine is the same... feels like she wants the only little princess in the family and has been saying (actually TELLING) me mine will be a boy all along. It's bloody annoying, she doesn't have dibs on girls in the family!

Glad we're team yellow :)

GlitzAndGiggles · 06/02/2014 14:06

I'm a twin girl Grin congrats!

icklekid · 06/02/2014 15:01

I think twin girls is lovely! I know a few friends who are twins (all girls) and they are so close it is so nice. I would have loved to have twins and would def have chosen girls over boys! Huge congratulations!

Mmmnotsure · 07/02/2014 09:59

Congratulations.

I can't think of anything better than twin girls for you, I really can't. You lucky thing.

DuPainDuVinDuFromage · 07/02/2014 10:08

The perfect opportunity to say "Did you mean to be so rude?" (I've still not had a chance to say that in real life!).

Congratulations, twin girls sounds fantastic!

LastOneDancing · 07/02/2014 10:14

EnvyEnvyEnvy I would LOVE twin girls!

Congratulations!

akachan · 07/02/2014 10:17

Another Envy from me!

Twin girls sounds amazing!

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 07/02/2014 10:18

Congratulations!

It's ok to tell people that their comment has hurt you. There's nothing wrong with saying that.

Or you could, when people ask, instead of saying it's twin girls, say it is twin girls and we are so thrilled about that.

It would take a huge arse to make a negative comment after that! and you would be justified in telling them they are one.

Nocomet · 07/02/2014 10:19

DD1's best friends are non identical twin girls, they are brilliant.

I have two DDs

In both households the girls complement each other, they like some of the same activities and some totally different ones. There share (hand down clothes) do each other's hair and makeup, share their experiences of school.

They also all do wild not particularly girly outdoor things, they sail, hike, play rugby.

My two sing together in the back of the car (sometimes really sweetly, sometimes ridiculous parodies) which is lovely.

Same sex siblings share becoming teens and growing up together in a way mixed sex siblings probably don't.

My DSIS and I share confidences and life experiences that DH and his DSIS wouldn't dream of doing, fond though they are of each other.

Honestly OP all girls rocks
(And from so from the families I know so does all boys)

Honeysweet · 07/02/2014 10:24

See, now I am sitting here feeling a bit jealous of you. I had non identical twins boys.
Trying to prove to you that people dont all want the same things.
The phrase, "you cannot please all of the people all of the time" springs to mind.