Planning my path to TCC

[HopefulMum2B]

A complete newbie to this whole trying for a baby thing I think I might need some advice. I read I should check my vaccinations are up to date and take some 800mcg of frolic acid a day. I already stopped drinking, since I woke up this morning at least..,-) and am reasonably fit and healthy. Apart from starting to have more sex, getting my boyfriend to propose and relaxing more about work stress - is there anything else I should be doing/taking/reading? I am quite excited about this journey, which will hopefully result in a BFP. Any help / advice / sanity check would be appreciated..

Umm maybe get your relationship tied down and agreed before creating a baby! If you are 'having' to get you boyfriend to propose it sounds like you do arent communicating very well and thats not at all the time to make a baby. Get that sorted first.

I wouldn't worry too much about everything you should be doing/taking etc, just have loads of sex and live a healthy lifestyle.
If you are still struggling to conceive in a year or so then maybe look in to all the extra bits but for now just enjoy it.

Have you spotted that MN has a Conception forum?

I think it might help you to have a browse in there.

Thank you for the first quick answers. I wasn't really serious about the engagement thing - we have been together for 11 years and have recently decided to take the next steps, without making concrete plans. We are in a great place and want the same things, but it would be nice to make it all a bit more official before we really try to conceive. Did anyone see the BBC programme about adoptions? My boyfriend and I watched it together and talked about it afterwards. We both felt we would probably like to try the adoption route if the natural way should not work for us. So, good point on the relationship side, but I am good in that regard. Was just trying to be funny...,-)

I did like the "frolic acid", very good

Last pill was on 6th March, so fingers crossed from now on, please.

Just be aware it can take time (took us 10+ months) even if your young/fit/healthy these things can't just be planned- second the conception forum as well [smilr]

Unless your work is terrifyingly stressful, don't worry about stress. Read an interesting comment on recent news reports and about stress/fertility ... essentially stress-about-stress is the worst thing! So docs are careful about raising it with couples.

I would just DTD every 1-2 days over the week you ovulate, and bear in mind it can take a few months. Good luck!

What everyone else said, but also it can happen extremely quickly! I was pregnant the first cycle after stopping contraception twice (admittedly barrier methods, not pill) even though we weren't trying the second time (really wanted to, thought we ought to wait for some more sensible circumstances). I was very very fortunate but what I mean is; don't assume you'll have time to wait for proposal and wedding to happen first if that's something very important to you. Good luck and have fun!

Good luck on your journey!

I can only say that it's almost impossible to plan! Coming from someone who loves to plan I found that aspect hard to deal with.

I was lucky and got pregnant the first month of trying - but that doesn't mean I wasn't obsessing for months before about cycle length, ovulation dates, etc etc.

If you like to plan then Id suggest getting some sort of ovulation app on your phone - providing you know your cycles it will predict your fertile week for you.

I also second having a look at the conception forums, loads of tips on there.

Take folic acid.

DTD regularly.

That's it for your average healthy couple.

If you want more support, check out the Conception board on here.

Thank you for all your supportive replies. It helps to know there are people out there who care. I left Germany nearly ten years ago to live and work in the UK. I have been lucky enough to have a fantastic career, which admittedly came at the price of not having much time to make many friends independently. So this is a great way for me to share some thoughts and read about others experiences. Anyway, I am still feeling pretty relaxed and have agreed with my own mind not to fret about this over the next 6 months and just wait and see what happens. I have stopped the pill on 6th March but have not had my first period yet, but I read that is still within the normal range. I am taking my folic acid and my vitamin d. Also doing Pilates and spinning classes to keep fit. Life is good right now, touch wood... So I am feeling just lucky to be in a loving relationship, live in a place I am happy to call Home, love my job, and the weather is also getting better! So even if TTC does not result in BFP, I still feel like I am a lucky cow.. Does that make sense at all? Feels good to write stuff down sometimes. Thank you so much again for all your support!!

If you want to get married, wouldn't it be easier to do that before having a baby? A baby is likely to affect your career more than your boyfriend's, what legal protection do you have if your relationship goes wrong? Answer, probably none. There are other ways of securing some protection for yourself, but I think they're more hassle and less comprehensive than marriage.

Now is probably a good time for you to try saving money to help with pre-baby purchases/maternity leave.

Glad you're feeling happy and positive about everything!

I don't feel I need to get married and I don't think I need protection. I am the main bread earner in our relationship and could even argue that my financial situation might be better protected if I don't marry. As soon as I know that I am actually pregnant I can start saving, but again, the great thing about having a successful career before baby (for the price of being an older mum..) is that the money worries are less serious. I am 35 now, btw..

Fair enough, I only brought it up because you talked of getting engaged.

However great your career, I think it's difficult to know how you'll feel post baby. What if you decide you want to be a SAHM? It might not be an option of course, but isn't there potential for you to want it.

Fair point. Right now I just can't imagine not working. It worked so hard to get to where I am now, I am finding it tough to imagine. But you never know.. If the baby is not well and needs a lot if care I might not have that choice.. Anyway, for now I would just like to get pregnant. The rest will fall into place later, I am sure.