PG after MC: Keeping the Posifrickingtivity going into 2014!!

[Chocolateteabag]

Oops I managed to finish the last thread - so here we go!

Janie - fingers crossed

wow fod yanbu. I think I would find it very hard to forgive a family member or friend who put myself and loved ones through that. To give him the benefit of the doubt, as others have said maybe he is suffering from an illness that prompts delusions. Like munchausens or something? Take care of you and only reply if and when you feel ready xx

Aah Pumpkin big congratulations on the birth of your little one. I hope you are keeping her nice and snugly and she's warming up with her mummy cuddles xxx

Fod just read your posts over a couple of times and in my humble opinion he's only text in some bid to help with his sentence. His actions sound quite calculated and manipulative throughout (and continue to be where your mum is concerned) and not those of someone with mental health issues. I don't think you are being unreasonable, I think you are being saintly, especially as you still take your children to see your mum in spite of him being at the address.

My goodness there's been a lot happening on the thread!

I don't think I can remember enough on my phone to try and mention everyone I should!

santa and pumpkin so pleased for you. Congratulations to you both

emki great news on the scan. A huge milestone for you.

Hello to all the newbies (or not so new as it's that long since I last posted) scater I'm 33 week on Saturday and truly cannot imagine your loss and have been very brave but it must of been a shock to find out you are having twins!

fod what a hard time you've been having. Such a difficult position he has put you and your mum in. I agree a face to face apology would have been much better. Hope it doesn't cause you too much stress

So how did it happen that I'm 3rd on that stat list?? If saggy doesn't leap frog me. Although I may be having a cs at 39 weeks so maybe me. I don't think that computes in my head because I think I'm in denial and almost doesn't feel real. Panicked face

I haven't been on for a while but tried to keep reading as didn't want to be miserable on a happy thread. Been a bit crappy here but I'm sure others have it much worse than me. My back pain has been horrendous (existing back/ pelvis injury being aggravated). Don't sleep. Lava in my chest everyday. Now cramps and headache everyday as well. This has been going on since about 10 weeks so lack of sleep and pain getting on top of me. Been put on cocodamol which I've said doesn't agree with me or actually take away the back pain. 30/500 2 tabs 4 times a day. Insistent I do this. That's 56 a week for someone who hardly ever takes tablets. Also wanted me on anti depressants and seem to think I'm stupid because I won't take them

What a mammoth post. Well done if you read it. Sorry for the moan x

lies yes, we didn't find out what sex the baby is .. were very tempted though ... feel like its a boy ... so it'll probably be a girl! xx

Big congrats to santa and pumpkin on the safe arrival of your little ones! Do you have names yet?

And great news on the scan emki, that must be such a relief. I'm not sure why people are wishing me good luck, my scan isn't until next Monday (must be getting the two of us confused!) I'll take the good luck early though

Wow fod, what a thing to happen. Why would someone do something like that to their family? I just can't get my head around it. 5 seconds to write an apologetic text definitely doesn't even begin to make up for such behaviour.

So I'm 20 weeks today! To celebrate reaching the halfway point I went to pregnancy yoga for the first time. I was the smallest bump there by far! But it was lovely and relaxing, I'm ready for an early night now, zzz...

Total I know just how you are feeling. My back pain/PGP is seriously ability-limiting and getting me down. I've so far managed without painkillers and don't want to take any but the lack of sleep/ constant discomfort and a DH that doesn't quite understand just how bad it is and how miserable it is making me doesn't help either. Although last night while I was having a bit of a cry by myself in the lounge, I asked myself if I knew six months ago I'd have to go through an MC and then a really tough pregnancy would I still do it? And the answer is an unequivocal yes. When I have that bubba in my arms it will all be worth it. That made me feel a whole lot better! Hopefully the next few weeks zoom by for you xxxx

Great news Emki!
Fod it must be so hard for you all trying to figure out what the hell was going through his head.

Thanks kat & kjh. I know it'll be all worth it in the end. I do feel guilty after the mmc not being able to enjoy the pregnancy but as long as my baby arrives safely that's all that matters

Thank you, it's so nice to know there is a supportive group like you lovely lot!

Hey everyone.
I'm rubbish at managing to catch up with everyone on my phone. Read it all and can never remember anyone's names! Don't have time for lunch at work let alone internet time!

Penguin - 20 weeks today!! Xx

Massive congratulations santa and pumpkin! Enjoy your lovely, snuggly babies!

Great scan news Louzul and emki

belated happy birthday penguin and yay for 20 weeks

total good to hear from you - sorry you're in so much pain but not long to go now

Kat so sorry to hear about your business partner, how awful! I hope you can get some legal advice...

welcome to all the newbies and good luck!

fod I'm shocked by your story! how can anyone do this to their family? and how did he plan to get away with it? fake his own death? your poor mum...well, all of you really. I wouldn't be feeling very forgiving either

Congrats santa and pumpkin, two arrivals and 2014 only a week old!

Pleased for your good scans louzul and emki

I've found it quite odd telling people, somehow feel like a fraud as I don't have a proper bump. Also makes it more real and I think I'd convinced myself it was all over so I'm only now realising I could have a baby!
Had to buy larger jeans, knickers and bras as normal size a bit snug.

fod I've read your posts. You are not unreasonable at all. Your brother has treated you all terribly. I don't know if he has underlying problems, but even if he does you do not have to forgive and forget, it is awful what he's done. I hope you and your family will be ok. X

Thank you for your supportive comments ladies, it's horrible and has made us feel guilty by association, we barred him from the wedding when we found out DH was livid and as we had friends there that had recently suffered a loss due to cancer her felt it was inappropriate. Some family members have tried to justify his actions by going down the mental illness route but everything was so calculated he researched the illness, medication, transplants, doctored hospital letters, bought drugs online so it looked like he was taking medication, he even came up with a story about a little boy he met whilst he was 'having chemo' and went further to tell us he had died! He shaved his head and had his chest tattooed with quotes relating to cancer and even started a blog!

The lengths he has gone to are despicable, I'm ashamed to be his sister and I don't think I ever knew him

Sorry to have taken over the thread with my issues ;( xx

Not at all Fod. Absolutely fire away. I'm just so sorry you're having to deal with this.

and for you.

Thinking of you fod. Please all send positive thoughts. Scan at 1pm, totally feel like I am just going for confirmation that I have miscarried. Hubby's car broke down last night so he is now coming too ( I have Decided this is fate so he can be there for the bad news).

Glad your 28 week appt went well Kat - its so lovely hearing the heartbeat isn't it?!

I've posted something on the main boards but thought I'd pose the quick question here to any of you suffering with the lovely SPD. Being stuck at home unable to move about is driving me insane and making me utterly miserable. In the past four weeks I have piled on a ridiculous amount of weight which doesn't help. Does anyone know if swimming is going to make the SPD worse? I've had a 'good' few days where it hasn't been so bad I can't move around and I'm wondering if swimming might help my lower back problem and also get me out of the house doing some sort of activity (handily there is a pool at the leisure centre 5min away). I just wanted to get some sort of informed opinion before I spring for the £50 costume and additional pool fees!

Thanks Kat! Had some helpful replies on the main board, so think I might give swimming a go. If it doesn't work out, at least I tried :)

Scater thinking of you and hoping your scan goes well. We've all been there with the scan doom so Fx for you and DH xx

fod it is truly spine-chilling how easy it is for some people to lie, and to what lengths they will go. I absolutely believe there is some mental disorder at play here, the complete lack of remorse and ability to look loved ones in the eye and lie like that and for what?! Often what is gained by the person pales in comparison. It's unbelievable and at the same time not the first time I have encountered it, although, the lengths your brother went to with the tattoos etc. are above and beyond anything I've ever heard.

I met a girl a few years ago who lied about being raped to avoid getting in trouble for getting to work late. She had an airtight story, had a description of the perpetrator and took the whole thing to the police where she went through the whole rape check-up and accusing process. She got caught out on a minor detail a week later and confessed but the lengths she went with her story . . . unbelievable, and just to avoid getting in a small amount of trouble for coming in late.

The only way I can deal with stories like this is just to completely dissociate myself from it. Although such people might be more common than we think, these people are not normal, functioning human beings, something is missing, some element of compassion or guilt that the rest of feel that stops us from just exploiting people who care about us, that has to be missing. I believe you are well within your rights to complete strike this person from your life.

fod - I'm so sorry- that is horrific for you, made worse by the fact it is family, so you will, I'm sure, have massively confusing emotions. No matter what the cause (mental health or just a pathological liar), it's absolutely not unreasonable for you to be feeling the way you do or to react the way you have. Even though he's your brother, your no 1 priority is you, your DP and the little bean you are growing, so you have to do what you feel right to protect your little family unit, and frankly sod the consequences.

scater I hope your scan went ok.

I just wanted to thank you all for your support over the past 8 months- you have been fab, and I couldn't have got through it without you. To those of you earlier on the journey, hang on in there. You can do it, and although it will be tough, we are amazing and deserve every chance of happiness. Xx

I popped up a few weeks back with my bfp following mmc last year. I have booked a private 8 week scan tomorrow so after some hand holding please. I can't work out if having an early scan is the right thing to do or not now...

Mabel quite a few of us booked early scans to get some reassurance that everything was ok. I had one at around 8 weeks and found it tremendously reassuring to see a little bean on the screen with a heartbeat. It meant I didn't drive myself too insane in the run up to the 12-week scan (which is one that we all worry about). I'm sure everything will go well for you tomorrow xx

Hi all

Scan good, twins didn't want to cooperate for the measurements but got there in the end. So relieved. I was such a state this morning I projectile vommed all over the bathroom

I think it's good to have a reassurance scan at 8 weeks.

Take care all and thanks so much for supporting me in my paranoia.