I can NOT go into labour today

[BummyMummy77]

Having a planned home birth and live on an island. Have just heard we've got a big storm coming tonight/tomorrow and the life flights won't be able to run so I'm going to have to go stay at someone's house on the mainland I've never met.

And lug all of the copious amounts of birthing supplies I need with me. Including an enormous pool that takes 2 to carry!

Please please please baby, stay in there for a couple of days. Any tricks to STOP labour lol?

I remember seeing an episode of Quantum Leap years ago where a woman went into labour at a really bad time and was panicking so that main character made her drunk, which relaxed her and temporarily stopped the contractions. Not sure I'd recommend it though!! ;)

Hmmm. Sounds like a plan lol! I swear I've had a few twinges. I hope I'm imagining them!

The midwife told me people don't go in to labour when it's unsafe (ie snowed in - January baby so I was asking). Not sure how true it is but you always have the back up of vino ha ha

I've had a few contractions this afternoon. Fuck fuck fuck!

I'm leaving the island on the last ferry in a minute and going to stay with a woman I worked for years ago and have only met twice.

In the event I do go into labour we've booked a cabin in the woods on the top of a mountain as I don't want to do it in her house, it'll feel uncomfortable.

I'd actually laugh if somebody else was telling me this but I'm really not seeing the funny side at the moment!

The fact that it's halloween isn't helping. It's starting to feel like the plot to a shitty b movie. That and I'm going to have obnoxious, crazy American trick or treaters at my sodding door all night.

How are you now? Hope everything went ok and/or that you're safely home.

Oh no!!
Send your contractions to me!! And then when you're back on the island, I'll send you mine.

Keep those legs crossed! And I wouldn't recommend the wine, my best friend is convinced 2 glasses of red set her off!
Just sit down and don't move for anything. Keep that baby in!

How is everything going?

I'm still on the mainland. The storm means we can't go back until this evening by the looks of it but he appears to be staying put.

Dh just asked if I'd like to go for a walk on the beach! Yes dear, let's just have sex, a curry, 8 pineapples and a bottle if wine while we're at it!!

I had about 7 nightmares last night that I was in labour lol!!

rhib are you having some contractions then?!

Don't talk of curry, I'm really hungry!
Glad you can probably make your way back home this evening though, things will seem much calmer surrounded by your own space.

I think something is happening...although I've felt like this for days, these aches are becoming more regular.
I've just been to the loo and there's pink in my discharge....

I sort of don't want to make too much of it until the big clear out because I'm still fuming with DH over MIL...who he decided to stick up for last night. Haven't spoken to him since....

Did you send me your contractions?

When are you allowed to go back? Stupid men and their beach walks.
Engage brain please.

Oh, you can go back this evening...clearly not looking properly!

Thanks Mogz. Just going to be bored stupid all day! I could go back now but they're likely to cancel all ferries and helicopters again this afternoon so don't want to take the risk. Have to wait until all the wind has gone.

Rhi - hold on in there! You can't labour whilst annoyed with other half, well it may help to be able to punch the crap out of him I don't know. What did mil do that he stuck up for?

Dh has just suggested we go to Walmart. Fucking Walmart?! I've been there once in my life and it was one if the scariest places I've ever been. Guns next to cereal. He says I can go in a mobility cart. I'm speechless and actually thinking of a divorce.

Aaah men, they're bloody funny creatures. I think they do a lot of engaging mouth before engaging brain, something to do with dodgy wiring.
Walmart seriously sell guns? I thought they were just like the big department stores we have here in sleepy England. I don't think I like the idea of being able to shop for lunch, kids toys and a gun in the same place.

Absolutely agree with the glass of wine! It's an old wives remedy for stalling early labour as it relaxes your muscles, but does the trick! Definitely worth trying to prevent labour

Walmart sell guns. Anyone can buy a gun here before you can drink. You don't need permits or background checks, only if you want to carry it concealed in public then you need a permit.

I sold gunny when I found out I was pregnant. Good job as dh would definitely be missing a few limbs by now.

So I can drink wine? Whoop. Rocking up to the birth pissed may not be the best look though!

You can buy a gun in Walmart? Walmart is a general store isn't it?

I'm horrified but also, I'd pay good money to see a heavily pregnant woman on a mobility scooter with a very large cake under one arm and a gun under the other. With a 'fuck you' expression obviously. I vote you do it and post a picture on here.

Seriously, a gun at Walmart. You can buy a bloody GUN?

A gun. I was bloody shocked too.

Xmas decs - check
Washing powder - check
Nappies - check
Semi automatic assault rifle as used at Sandy Hook school - check.

There's no WAY dh would let me get a gun now. I'm WAY too aggressive.

Well I'm back on the island and it looks like life flights will run. The little angel bugger has quietened down now though. I bet he's two weeks late!