How to tell midwives I want to bottlefeed without a lecture.

[Frecklesandspecs]

Ok please no lectures! I know its sensitive!

I'm due next week with dc 3.
I tried breast feeding both dc1 and dc2 and mixed fed for a few weeks. However I did not enjoy it and struggled. I ended up going bottle after a while and never had any issues with either.
Both did great and that suited me.
This time I just want to be realistic. I have a dc2 year old and dc 4 year old. I walk everywhere at the moment and take dc2 to nursery every afternoon.
even now I honestly feel there are too few hours in the day.
I get stessed out if I haven't got what needs to be done done and I get t sit down for the first time about 7pm as that is when the kids go to bed.

Anyway. I'm stressing out now about what everyone is going to say if I say I want to bottlefeed straight off.

what makes it worse is that Dh s family always ask me(they're Nigerian) and would be highly unimpressed if I went straight on bottle. (Dh himself just leaves it up to me!)

I'm worried about getting remarks and lectures about it at the hospital too.

should I just stand my ground or tell them I Will try to keep them off my back?

and no, I have never felt guilty about it. I just would rather do what I know I can do and cope with in the situation.

what makes it worse is that dh's family always ask me about it worse(

lady, good for you. I can imagine the looks! my girls have also turned out more than fine. I'm sure most are fine with it but some take it too far. like you we all have our reasons some more personal than others.
As for the afterpains I Will just wait and see how they go and hope they won't be too bad!

I do appreciate your replies ladies.

OP - I found a paracetamol now and then helped with the afterpains which were worse with dd2 and dd3. Don't remember it at all with dd1.

Chunderella - I'm sorry I missed the part where you were appointed arbiter of what may and may not be posted. The OP has asked questions which I have answered. In addition I've given her some additional thoughts which, being an adult woman, she may take or leave as she chooses. I fail to see why you need to monitor the thread so closely and I think you're being rather unpleasantly bossy about it. Do you monitor other threads closely to ensure people stay what you consider to be 'on topic' or is it only bottlefeeding questions that exercise you so?

I chose before birth to bottle feed. And that was less than 2 years ago. I was not popular with my NCT tutor

I wish you luck OP, and hope things have moved on in the 25 years since I did this. I might as well have said I was going to feed my baby neat salt and then shake him for five minutes... The midwives in the hospital I was in were the Bro

Your body your choice and I'm very very pro breast feeding.

In the back of your notes usually somewhere near the approved abbreviations often the last page should be an antenatal checklist with a large section dedicated to BF info and support they are supposed to sign to say they have spoken to you about it but you are perfectly ok to decline.

If your concerned about assertiveness face to face you can write across the bottom of that page that you are aware of the BF information and you are declining that discussion.

That should help with the midwives as to the family just look all vague and ignore.

Sorry to step into the argument northern, but the third stage is mostly medically managed. An injection will generally be offered to deliver the placenta. If there were any concerns about bleeding too much, further medical management would be given. These drugs work exactly as breastfeeding would.

I agree with Chunderella that it wasn't the best idea to make the comment you did on a thread where the OP clearly stated that she didn't want to breastfeed and was worried about the remarks she would get. You weren't wrong in what you were saying, but I don't think it was appropriate in the context of this thread.

Thank you op for posting this.
I want it bottle feed but was worried what people would say. I feel so guilty for not wanting to do it but it doesn't appeal to me and freaks me out.
(Nothing against people who do bf)

I told my mw this and she was completely fine and said I'm mum it's up to me how I feed baby.
I also said I was worried the hospital would try and push me into it and she said again no your mum it's up to you. She had a student with her that had been to the hospital the previous day and had a mum that wanted to bottle feed vas she said the staff were so nice about it and didn't judge at all.
Which made me feel tonnes better.