Suspected IUGR - again, what am i doing wrong?

[jenster1976]

This is DD3, just been for a growth scan and discovered that I'm brewing another small one. DD1 was born at 40+10 and weighed 5lb 9. She was otherwise perfectly healthy and very quickly piled on weight. DD2 was a more normal 6lb 7 but this time it looks like I'm back with a tiddler. Part of me thinks, I clearly just have small babies, no big deal, don't stress, but part of me feels like I must be doing something wrong...any ideas :(

Nothing. That's what you are doing wrong. There's nothing you can do but just look after yourself which I'm sure you're doing. There's nothing you are doing to cause this.

I know where you're coming from. My DD2 had IUGR and was born at 35 weeks weighing 3lb 4oz.

I have blamed myself for it. The month she stopped growing I had a cold and was using vicks sinex to clear my blocked nose. I was sure it was my fault because sinex causes veins (in the nose) to constrict and shrink. To my mind, it must have had the same effect on the veins and arteries serving the placenta / baby. My doctors told me it was highly unlikely to have caused it as sinex is a topical application. I'm still highly suspicious though.

But then, that's the curse of motherhood isn't it ... the guilt. No matter what happens, no matter how well or badly things are going, we always blame ourselves for something.

Try to let go of the guilt and deal with today and tomorrow. Look after yourself well and prepare to welcome your new baby to the world, small or not.

It's not your fault.

Wow. DD had IUGR and was 5lb 1oz at 39 weeks. Did I do anything wrong?

Tallulah...? The OP is asking for reassurance ... why the attitude?

Unless your is directed at my post? I was trying to say that I understand, that most of us try to blame ourselves for things like this but that in truth, it wasn't our fault.

The OP knows this too, she just needs to be reminded and reassured.

For my own part, if I have caused offence, I apologise.

It's not an attitude as such, but it's difficult to have a small baby for no reason then read that other people feel guilty about it? I KNOW that I did nothing wrong to cause it. Neither did the OP.

I apologise if i seemed defensive. My DD's IUGR wasn't picked up til the day I had her and this is difficult to think about, my placenta was failing and the worst could have happened had I not had her there and then. Never occurred to me to blame myself or that other people might

Sorry, didn't mean to cause you upset. Its just brought back all the stress I had with my DD1 which i'd forgotten about, and I thought I'd be a lot more chilled this time round, especially knowing that DD1 was fine. But all the growth scans and consultant appointments were stressful and I wish they'd just say, you clearly have constitutionally small babies lets not worry, but they don't seem able to do that so instead I googled IUGR ( i know!) and its all about poor maternal nutrition which is what's got me going....

You didn't do anything wrong. x I grow tiddlers too but as you know, they grow. :)

I am sorry to hijack Jenster.

And yes I was made to feel guilty after - they asked if I was a smoker or had a bad diet, neither of which are true. Just makes me that people do/are made to feel bad about something that isn't anyone's fault

Funnily enough I was also asked if I smoked. I took it to mean that it's the most common reason for poor growth, and that was something they could try to do something about. I don't think it's meant as an accusation, least it shouldn't be anyway.

Can I ask, did any of you have any signs of IUGR or was it just picked up on a routine scan? I only ask because my PAPP A results came back low and can indicate this as a potential issue. I haven't heard anything from the hospital so planning to raise it at the next midwife appointment but it's worrying me. DS was 8lb 6 so no issues there.

Also, my diet is bad because I have been so sick but it was the same with DS...

I had no signs and measured spot on. I had a scan at 39+2 due to repeated reduced movements - they realized she was v small and had v little fluid around her. I was induced within the hour.

Mine was picked up at the 20 week scan. I'd been scanned many times by then because of bleeding and none if them noticed anything. I had the scan at around 22 weeks as I'd been scanned 18/19 weeks already and it was then that the consultants became very worried about the lack of growth and fluid and gave a pretty bleak outlook. I was then scanned fortnightly til I gave birth baby continues to grow and was born at an ok weight just a little small for dates but nothing major. Well the staff didn't think she was small despite it being drummed into me at every scan how small she was

Thanks for the info. I am going to ask about it. Weird that it can happen in one pregnancy but not another.

It is very strange. I have to admit though that I often wonder what would have happened had I had the scan "on time" up until 22 weeks not one person had be mentioned a problem with the size of the baby. I'd gone from baby looks happy (despite complications) to "the baby could die" in three weeks. I honestly think it would have gone unnoticed had I not been scanned at that exact moment. Could have changed the whole course of the rest if the pregnancy. If that makes sense.

I had an IUGR baby & unfortunately it was discovered when it was too late. A full examination revealed it was caused by a crap placenta so please don't ever think it is your fault. Sometimes things are just crap & try, even though it is very very hard, to remind yourself it was caught whether it was in plenty or just in time. :)

Shit Tsw, that is tragic, our worst nightmares come true. Thank you both for sharing.

I wish I knew how to help the placenta function but science probably doesn't know what causes it in some and not in others.

There are some amazing doctors at select hospitals doing a lot of research in various areas. I am currently guinea pig to one specialising in placentas & stillbirths. There is a LONG LONG way to go & most hospitals placenta knowledge extends to knowing what it is & making sure it is all delivered........