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Original poster

Please date my scan photos

77 replies

JamesCurtis · 28/09/2013 14:13

To cut a long story short. I'm pretty sure my girlfriend has lied about being pregnant (to the 9 month mark!).

She told me a due date of 14/9/13, on which she was out for her friends birthday she then went to Ibiza for a week... which she told me about but I assumed she wasn't going. I have a picture of her drinking too... yes the week after she was due...

Anyway, she told me she was pregnant the first weekend in January and that she took the test on new years eve (I hadn't seen her or had sex with her since mid December and first time we did was mid November), we continued to have sex until the end of Feb/start of March by which time she said she didn't feel like it and we haven't had sex since; she's still really close to me and talks about that she bought things for the baby already (at her dad's attic) etc

Quite obviously my head is a mess (considering I've told everyone we're having a child!).

The only solid evidence she has or such is 2 scan photos below; I'd appreciate if anyone could approximately date them? I know it's very hard to do over the internet but I don't know what else to do.

She told me she was pregnant 5/1/13, she guessed conception at first week December and told me due date was 12/9/13 and then it changed to 14/9/13.

She sent to me 18th of May

s7.postimg.org/a6jv7v8u3/IMG_0336.jpg

and this one on the 19th of August

s14.postimg.org/mq3scdt4t/IMG_0612.jpg

I've taken it to a midwife and while they didn't want to say too much they estimated that the photo dates don't match? Especially with the due date etc

Please help. Thanks.

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DanRoberts · 28/09/2013 14:49

I just need to understand why! Why, why :-(

I've told all my family and she's still texting me like normal even though all this... I think she has issues. I'm so hurt as the girl I fell in love with basically doesn't exist and is actually someone else basically.

DanRoberts · 28/09/2013 14:50

HaveYouTriedARewardChart

Thank you; so there's no way the dates/scans match?

SinkyMalinks · 28/09/2013 14:52

Did she tell you the scans were done when she sent them to you? That isn't an 8 month scan, but might be old?

Cjilly · 28/09/2013 14:53

sorry sent it too quickly.
I'd definitely feel as if she's having you on. there is no way any pregnant woman would fly ON their due date.. most of us are anxious and thinking every little pain is the beginning of labour, let alone having a good time in Ibiza.

Secondly, the scan photos look like a Google image search.. easy to do. They don't have her name etc on it.

The stories she's been telling you are pretty crap to me. At 9 months you look pregnant. You're tired, anxious etc I'd want to see you a lot more often too, if possible.

all this I'd say if you were my brother. Brutally honest but ask her flatly, "Are you pregnant or not?" if she is then I apologise, but I very much doubt it.

DanRoberts · 28/09/2013 14:54

She told me that the nurse was calling her and sending her the picture for the 2nd scan and sent it to me on the day she said she would.

The 1st scan she said she had to go hospital (not a booked appointment) because she was bleeding and they gave her that.

Also, a few days before the due date she told me she went to the hospital and they said the heart beat was strong etc, that she wasn't dilated and not to worry.

SinkyMalinks · 28/09/2013 14:55

Despite my last comment, I agree with Cjilly. This is weird.

AKissIsNotAContract · 28/09/2013 14:56

very odd. Even if she wasn't pregnant when she told you she was and then got pregnant in March - when you last had sex - she'd be 6 months gone. Do you think that's a possibility or do you think she'd actually not pregnant at all?

WorldPeaceAndFreeProsecco · 28/09/2013 14:56

I'm so sorry. Your girlfriend sounds like a pathological liar.

She isn't pregnant.

Are you ok?

TallulahBetty · 28/09/2013 14:56

Scan photos do not always have names and dates on. Mine didn't. Depends on the NHS trust.

Cjilly · 28/09/2013 14:56

Sorry, I'm confused Dan. The midwife sent the scan picture to her? correct me if I'm wrong, but I've never heard of that

DanRoberts · 28/09/2013 14:57

Thanks Cjilly

I feel like such a mug and don't know why I believed her crap :-(

I feel like I've actually lost a real child, yet alone her... I guess I wait till I see her next and confront her.

WHY do people do this??

DanRoberts · 28/09/2013 14:57

That's what she said to me yes.

worley · 28/09/2013 14:57

Yes.. There is a dating scan there and an anomaly scan which could be taken between 19-21 ish weeks. It is definatley not an 8month scan picture.
(Unless she had far too much fluid around baby to be able to get that much of a clear shot but you would be able to see from her stomach she would very obviously be pregnant to have this) (I'm a sonographer)
It's not unheard of women claiming to be pregnant and their not.. We even had a lady turn up for a 4d scan claiming to pregnant and she wasn't. Her poor partner!

Cjilly · 28/09/2013 14:58

Sorry Dan, don't conclude until you've spoken to her. I feel for you though, I do!!

DanRoberts · 28/09/2013 14:58

She was madly in love with me shortly into the relationship maybe this explains it...

SinkyMalinks · 28/09/2013 14:59

If this is all lies, I'm so sorry. It must be devastating to have this taken away.

DanRoberts · 28/09/2013 14:59

Thanks everyone; I feel like I'm on Hollyoakes or Jeremy Kyle!

TallulahBetty · 28/09/2013 14:59

Names and dates of birth, to clarify.

DanRoberts · 28/09/2013 15:00

Yes I'm devastated for the child. She made me want it so much :-(

Sindarella · 28/09/2013 15:03

The first scan pic looks more like a 12 week scan, the second more a 20 week +, if she told you she was pg at the beginning of jan then sent you that scan in may it would have been a 20 week scan picture.

Unless she has complications she wouldn't have had another in august.

DanRoberts · 28/09/2013 15:05

I'm more in shock that anything else.

Yeah we stopped having sex Feb/March; I suppose she could have gotten pregnant then but I don't know; why tell me before hoping to get pregnant??

HaveYouTriedARewardChart · 28/09/2013 15:07

Definitely speak to her - or her family first - she's done a terrible thing but clearly has issues and is probably in a bit of a nightmare herself.

Dramamama · 28/09/2013 15:17

Ok, the scan dates don't add up at all if that second scan pic was taken on the 19th of August and she was 20 weeks then.....well just do the maths my friend.
And as above posters said you normally have your name, date etc... on scan photos, it all seems very suspicious to me I'd definitely confront her as she'd be being induced now nowhere would let her go much more then 2 weeks over due as the placenta begins to break down which in turn is detrimental to the health of the baby. I hope you get the answers your looking for Sad

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 28/09/2013 15:17

The fact that she asked you if you'd leave her if she lost it suggests that either she was pregnant and suffered a loss that she was unable to deal with so pretended she hadn't or that she was never pregnant and was going to pretend to have lost it. There is obviously something very complex going on and I would think she must be very troubled whatever the explanation.

Have you made preparations for the baby? Have you bought things like a cot, pram, clothes etc? What did you say when she went to Ibiza?

BoffinMum · 28/09/2013 15:23

They look similar to my 12 week and 20 week scans (I am a mum of 4 and had 12/20 week scans for the last 3 babies. I also had a 6 weeks scan for a baby that didn't survive, and it was just a blob really, and I had a 40-41 week scan once for an overdue baby and you could not see much as it was so big).

Is this the only evidence of pg you have? Do you not know what hospital she is booked into, seen any folic acid tablet packets during the early days, seen any medical notes or leaflets lying around?

I do think it's time to knock on her door and ask her outright what is going on. If you are gentle with her you will get the truth quite quickly, I imagine, and if you offer forgiveness (even if you rightly feel angry) you may well be left alone to get on with your life. I know this will have messed with your head but the sooner you know the better. She's obviously got some pretty serious emotional problems so best put down to experience, and best to move on to someone less problematic/disturbed. In terms of telling other people just say the baby didn't make it and you don't want to discuss it, perhaps?