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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Home birth with number 2?

25 replies

popocatepetl · 11/09/2013 20:16

I'm 17 weeks with baby number 2 and saw midwife today. She was really pushing for me to have a home birth as DS1 came really quickly (about 11 hours even though he got stuck and needed ventouse) and she thinks I'd be at risk of giving birth in a lay-by!

Has anyone else had a midwife being really really pro home birth? Not sure if she genuinely thinks it's the right thing for me personally or if it's just that home births are what midwives think are the best thing generally.

OP posts:

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HorryIsUpduffed · 11/09/2013 22:55

Yes, mine, for similar reasons. Am planning a home water hypno birth now and really looking forward to it

ouryve · 11/09/2013 22:58

11 hours is quickly? It's within the average range, afaik. Quickly is giving birth almost as soon as you realise you're in labour.

NoComet · 11/09/2013 23:05

I pretty much decided DC2 would be born at home from being a toddler.

The day DSIS was born is my earliest memory. To me it was natural second babies were born at home.

DD1s hospital birth was reasonably OK, but the postnatal ward had me wanting to run for the hills.

So it was me that mentioned having a HB, but all the MEs were really encouraging. Never had a negative word from start to finish.

NoComet · 11/09/2013 23:06

MWs (not MEs)

PickleSarnie · 12/09/2013 07:01

My midwife was so excited about homebirth. I think she pounced on every mum to be that ticked all the "low risk" boxes and encouraged them.

I did my research and went with a homebirth. My DS2 was born a couple of hours before she was on shift so she told me off (jokingly off course) for not keeping my legs crossed for a bit longer.

Look into it some more. Write lists of pros and cons and read as much research as possible and make your own decision. It's really brilliant she's so pro homebirth but it's your choice.

HorryIsUpduffed · 12/09/2013 07:33

Incidentally, my "quick" second birth arrived within an hour of the first discomfort and within 20 mins of arrival in hospital. DH broke every speed limit on the way, I reckon, because we are usually at least half an hour from the hospital, and only made it in time because it was Sunday evening so no traffic.

KirjavaTheCat · 12/09/2013 08:49

Mine is very supportive, excited even. Apparently the team in my area are very pro-homebirth, though nothing was mentioned until I said I'd like one, so mine don't push it on you unless you express an interest. I think that's nice.

I think some midwives really prefer them, mine quoted all the statistics about them being safer and less likely to need intervention and result in a CS, yadda yadda. But she also told me how wonderful and personal it is, and she's never forgotten a single birth. It's made me look forward to it.

Doesnotdrinkalcohol · 12/09/2013 08:54

I've only had one child myself and the midwife didn't mention a homebirth. What do YOU want to do? That is the real question here. There's no point in her pushing a homebirth on someone who doesn't want one. I think homebirths can be great, especially if you have other children as they can be there for the event which isn't allowed in hospitals to my knowledge.

fairypangolin · 12/09/2013 10:11

my MW and all the MWs I've seen have been very supportive of my choice of a HB, even though I am a VBAC. I think their view is that if it goes well it is so much more rewarding than a hospital birth it is worth a try unless you have some significant complication or live too far away from the hospital to make a quick transfer feasible. I wouldn't say they were 'pro homebirth' or pushed me towards it but because I brought it up they were v positive about it.

OP - love your MN nickname by the way.

Original poster

popocatepetl · 16/09/2013 21:21

Sorry for late reply ladies and thanks for all your advice.

I don't know what I want to be honest. Part of me feels (probably naively) that a birth can have medical implications and the best place for a medical situation is a hospital. That said, looking back, nobody believed me I was in labour and so they wouldn't let me come in for ages, I couldn't have any pain relief because by the time they let me in I was too far along, and I was left alone for ages (because they thought I was early on) and probably started pushing well before I should because there was nobody there to tell me otherwise!

My concern about homebirth is what if there's nobody there to come round and I have to go to hospital anyway? Plus, ds will be just over 2 and I'd rather my parents came round and looked after him here and they can't really do that if I'm puffing and panting in the living room!

What's really confusing me is I want to do the best thing for the baby and don't know what that is. I don't know whether to trust the midwife's suggestion or whether it's just what the latest agenda is. Ahhhhhh!

PS fairy my nickname was what my Mum used to call me when I was little. Bit worrying she nicknamed me after a volcano...

OP posts:

NoComet · 16/09/2013 21:30

I did have a DF on babysitting standby, but DD1(3) slept through the whole thing, wandered in when DD2 was 3 minutes old.

(Totally ignored me delivering the placenta and went over to say hi to her new sister).

RhinestoneCowgirl · 16/09/2013 21:32

I had both babies at home, so coming from a different perspective.

From a purely practical point of view re childcare: my mum came to stay the day after my due date to look after DS, who was 2yrs at the time. DM lives about 3hrs drive away.

I had a few twinges that afternoon and went to bed as normal. Woke up at midnight to my waters breaking, labour was established by about 2am. Called MW, DD born just before 6am.

Mum stayed upstairs with DS all that time, he didn't wake up even with me stomping up to the loo and mooing. He came down to meet his new sister at breakfast time, all mess was cleared away by then.

I had friends standing by to look after DS during the day in case I went into labour early, to give my mum time to get there. Also if I'd been in labour during the day DM would have taken DS out to friends/soft play.

hamncheese · 17/09/2013 11:06

rhinestone that sounds like a fab birth.

I'm going for a home birth this time (DC2) because I hated the hospital. Wasn't a particularly bad or traumatic birth or anything just I had no control, they forced me on the drip when they could have just broken my waters and rendered me imobile on bed, which with a back to back labour is just dire hence an epidural. Add jaundice and five days in after I just hated it. Pretty much gave me PTSD

SO! Really want a home birth this time and the idea of DS being about makes me even more for it. Really hope the midwives are pro here.

Did anyone who had a home birth get a doula? I'm thinking of it to do all the standing up to things for me because apparently I become a doormat in labour!

RhinestoneCowgirl · 17/09/2013 19:54

I had a doula for second birth hamandcheese. I really appreciated having her around, especially as she came out straight away when we called her. (When we first called the MW I spoke to the duty MW who was humming and harring a bit and initially said call back in the morning as my contractions weren't that painful (but were v regular). I had a really strong sense that the baby was on the way. Luckily she put a call through to my community MW, who despite not being on call that night, came out at 2am 'just to have a cup of tea and see how you are'.)

Doula was great for practical things like supporting me on the birth ball (where I spent most of the time) getting drinks etc And not talking too much! She also came and did some post-natal visits and played with DS whilst I lazed around with baby DD.

NigelMolesworth · 17/09/2013 20:05

I had DD1 in hospital. Had to have a ventouse delivery. Took about 17 hours.

Had DD2 in a birthing pool at home. Took 2 hours.

My advice is to keep all your options open at this stage. There is nothing to stop you from planning a home birth but going into hospital at the last min if you feel wobbly about it.

We are about 20/25 mins from the hospital. I was concerned about getting there should things go wrong. The midwife did stress that they normally get forewarning that things are not going well and that if they felt things weren't right they would not leave it til the last minute to transfer to the hospital, where there would be a team waiting.

I think that, combined with the fact that I had had to wait 40 mins for someone to come and do the ventouse despite DD and I being distressed, was the clincher for me.

Talk your worries through with the midwife.

Good luck!

PastaBeeandCheese · 17/09/2013 20:31

I've been tempted for #2 partly due to liking the idea and partly due to nan and mum failing to make it to hospital with #2 and the chance this can be genetic.

I'm not sure I'm going to go for it though as we have a brand new midwife led unit that I fancy. Looks very swish. If it wasn't for that I would book a homebirth.

LittlePeaPod · 17/09/2013 20:50

Yes my MW was really pushy with the whole home birth thing. In fact if she ad her ways would be giving birth at home with no pain relief... Imagine her when I told her I was opting for an ELCS.

Op you need to do what You feel most comfortable with. It's your birthing experience.

Congratulations and all the best with your pregnancy.

Original poster

popocatepetl · 18/09/2013 20:01

Some really interesting thoughts and experiences here so thank you everyone.

Mum-guilt has kicked in already - if I have a homebirth and something goes wrong how will I live with myself Vs if I have a hospital birth and baby is born in the car and/or gets an infection from hospital how will I live with myself?!

Think I'm going to take DH with me to next midwife appt so we can both have our questions answered. Also need to talk to my parents about how comfortable they'd feel looking after DS at their house.

OP posts:

Cjilly · 18/09/2013 20:36

My mw wants me to have a homebirth as my first was 4 and a half hours so she doesn't want me to end up giving birth on the way.

I'm glad as I wanted one anyway and her pushing for it in front of DH made that obstacle easy to overcome

HorryIsUpduffed · 18/09/2013 22:38

popocatepetl you need to look at the possible bad outcomes and evaluate for each one what the risks are and what the difference is between home / layby / hospital.

For example, Nasty Outcome A might be more likely to arise in a hospital, but also more easily solved in a hospital. Nasty Outcome B might be equallly likely in any setting but easily dealt with by a midwife regardless of where she happens to be.

For example, I'm funny about shoulder dystocia. But my hb mw pointed out that there's very little she can do in a hospital room that she can't do in my house, and any resulting problems are as easily dealt with in the back of an ambulance for ten minutes as dashing along a hospital corridor for ten minutes. She also talked about my particular risk levels, given two previous VBs and what feels like the world's widest pelvis ever.

Ditsydebs · 19/09/2013 10:24

I really wanted a home birth with number 2 but my husband wasn't very keen as DD 1 was a very long labour and due to a very short cord second stage took 2hours! DD 2 was born in hospital but I was only there ten minutes before she entered the world! Again DD2 had a very short cord but this time delivery was alot easier! I am now pregnant with number 3 and trying to persuade my husband that a home birth is the best option! Wish me luck!

Liveinthepresent · 19/09/2013 10:43

I ended up having an unplanned home birth with DC2 due to fast labour.
DC1 took 12 hours DC2 3.
It was great ( although would have been much better if planned!) and if I had to make the decision again I would definitely go for the home birth.

Wolfiefan · 19/09/2013 10:47

FYI my first birth was 10 1/2 hours. Second child arrived in under an hour!
Perhaps make a list of pros and cons. I agree having another ear with you when you meet mw is a good idea.

HotCrossPun · 19/09/2013 11:49

I'm planning a home birth for my first.

I wish my midwife was as supportive as yours! I am low risk (so far) but she still went through a list of reasons why I shouldn't and ask if I had my DP's 'permission' to have the baby at home.

It needs to be your decision though, OP.

I'm having a home waterbirth because:

I want to guarantee that I'll have access to a pool
I find hospitals very depressing
I don't want DP apart from us the first night I am a mum!
Control of my environment
2 dedicated senior midwives that will be with me throughout my pregnancy & birth (don't know if it's just Scotland you get that though?)
Not sharing a ward with lots of women afterwards

You should make a list of everything you want your birth to be, and what is important to you and then see what environment is best suited to that.

Mckayz · 19/09/2013 11:57

I had my 2nd and 3rd at home. It was wonderful compared to the farce of DS1 in hospital.

There was no real mess as the MWs bring mats and we put a big taurpaulin on the floor. DD (No3) was a home waterbirth and it was incredible.

After DS2 was born my (now) XH went and got us a chinese takeaway to eat. Much better than the mouldy sandwich the hospital tried to make me eat.

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