Feeling a bit sorry for myself - scan

[confusedofengland]

Just a self-indulgent post, really. I am 12 weeks pg with a very much wanted DC3. The first scan is tomorrow at 3pm. I have been unable to change it, as they don't have any more appointments before I am 13+6, which is when you have to have this scan by.

It seems that DH will be unable to make this scan, as he is at work What is slightly annoying is that he won't even ask for the time off. The last couple of weeks he has been working such long hours (and going out a couple of evenings each week, too), that he has only been home for DC's bedtime about twice each week, as opposed to every night usually. We have also been unable to have any holiday this year as he won't ask for any time off

We are also due to move house a week today & he won't be able to take any time off for that.

I know we have it a lot better than some & are lucky that DH has a job & that we already have 2 lovely DC with another on the way, but I can't help but feel a bit glum that DH won't at least ask for time off work for the scan.

BTW does anybody know if you are allowed to take children into the scan room? I have childcare for DS2, aged 2, but none for DS1, aged 4.

Sorry to hear about your DH. Have you talked to him about how it's making you feel? And yes, I don't see why you can't take DC in with you!

You need to check regarding children in the scan room - lots specifically say NO. Sorry your partner can't be there with you.

It doesn't say anything on the appointment letter about children at all The thing is, I have asked everybody I can think of to have DS1 & none of them can. DS2 is OK as he is normally in nursery on Thursday mornings, so I just asked if he could stay in for the afternoon. If it were in a month's time it would be easier as he would be at school & could go to afterschool club. Gah, it is not as straightforward this time as last time!

Ring the hospital - mine had a blanket no children policy when I had DS but now say its fine as long as there's another adult there with the child. To be honest I took DS with me to my 12 week scan last time and found I'd had a MMC - there's no way I could have handled that plus the meeting immediately to give me my options with DS there, he would have freaked out and so did I. Hopefully not something you will need to worry about however I wouldn't risk it personally.

Have you told DH how he's making you feel? Can you tell him he needs to arrange the childcare for DS1 for you, maybe then he will see that he needs to do more?

Sorry he cannot be there I may have to go to a scan end of sept alone as we have limited childcare. We also moved recently be careful as it made v me very exhausted so arrange childcare in advance which is easier said than done!

Children aren't allowed in the scan room and my DH had to miss out so that he could stay with DS but the 2nd scan I attended literally meant that I had no other choice but to take DS with me and the lady wasn't even bothered.

My uncle is a consultant at this hospital (definitely has more disadvantages than advantages) and he said that DS coming in with me shouldn't be an issue but he understood why DH and DS was told to sit out as DH acted like an "option to make life easier"

DH has not been able to come to most of my scans with subsequent pregnancies.. usually due to childcare issues, but sometimes work.

At my old hospital they were okay with well-behaved children in there, but all places are different. I'm fine taking DD1 (nearly 7) with me on my own as she is sensible, but DD2 or DS (4 and 2) I would not!

I have to take DS3 to all my scans - and I have a lot, with bi-weekly cervix checks - as I have absolutely no childcare. There has never been any problem, and the waiting room even has a children's play area. In fact, last time U had a scan the doctors were disappointed I hadn't brought all three boys . Like with all else, it varies from hospital to hospital.

Sorry to hear about your DH, though. Is there anyone else who could go with you?

I obviously

Thanks everybody for your opinions & support. DH has now said he may be able to make the scan, depending on how well work goes this morning. And the midwife who came by for my booking in appointment ( a little late as am 12 weeks today) said that our hospital is usually fine with DC being there. Good job too, as I asked 6 different sets of people & none were able to have DS1!

2 hours to go till appointment & looks like DH won't make it after all, rain has messed up the filming they were doing so he's problem solving, apparently . Am so gutted, I never imagined that he wouldn't be there for this, but this has made it clear where his priorities lie

On the plus side, my friend's picnic this afternoon has been rained off, so she can take DS1 after all. Am thinking I'll take her a bottle of wine as a thank you!

How did it go confused?

He made it in the end! Told work he was working from home, so will be working till late tonight, but main thing is he made it to the scan Also, my friend had DS1 & he had a great time, so all turned out well in the end.

Baby was a complete monkey - jumping around, but took ages & all sorts of different positions for sonographer to get a view of its face. Scan put me at 13.0 weeks, whereas midwives thought 12.0, so EDD is 27th February (but will be earlier as will have to be ELCS)

Great news