A thread for elderberries who are hovering in the bfp helicopter

[barkingtreefrog]

All elderberry grads welcome and anyone who fills berry criteria: ttc #1 a long time now finally bagged that elusive bfp, over 30...

Come join the next stage of the journey and compare sickness reports!!

Bratwurst are a satisfyingly succulent weapon of choice, I have to say

Argh telling him in 20 mins

Eeeeeh come back straight away and let us know how it went!! Xxx

That is an hour and twenty mins now...: come on merk!

How are you doing barking?

.....Meeeerk? Has he clubbed you over the head for having the gall to be with child?

Barking you're very quiet, I hope you're catching up on a few z's.

Anyone seen Tally? Hope she's ok..

I've slipped back to the other thread, Boom, don't feel like I'm really in the helicopter anymore .

I'm here! He looked very shocked but then seemed to brush it under the carpet almost as if I hadn't said anything. Think he was prob quite uncomfortable. Anyway the relief now that its done is amazing!

Well done merk!

Can I ask what you actually said to start the conversation? I think I'm going to need all the help I can get with this one....

Thunder I waited until everyone had left the office and then said to my boss that I needed to ask him a favour but that I also had some information to impart.

I then said the favour I needed was an hour off and the information was that I needed it as I was having my 12 week scan.

It caught him unaware and he was surprisingly fine, he's been pretty good since too. He does now call me tubs though which I'm not keen on. He has never made a fuss about me having time off for midwife appointments or for my 20 week scan, although I do make sure that the midwife appointments are 9am so I am only usually 45 mins late, he is a bit of a male chauvinist so I am surprised he has been so good.

Hi cleo that's good he hasn't said anything because he's not allowed to and you are entitled to time off for your appointments! Tubs is awful though.

Nope, I can't deal with telling work at the moment. Oh gawd...

I know tubs is far from being becoming isn't it! Ahh well it could be worse, have to say I do refer to myself as 'the big fat lass'.

Plus you don't have to tell them for a while thunder, think you actually have a fair while to inform them. Might be worth googling but I think you only have to tell them around 20 weeks and that is only to qualify for maternity leave. You have no obligation to make it public knowledge at all.

Legally you have to tell them before the 15th week before your due date (I think that's what I read from my googling). However I didn't want to keep taking sick days or leave for my maternity appointments, plus I'm starting to show, plus if they know and I'm not feeling good at least I can explain why!
Thunder think you just have to dive in and say it. Exactly what mother said, I just said the reason I was off last week was actually because I'm pregnant. Once you've got that first sentence out its easy!

You don't have to tell work until 25 weeks and that is also the latest you can give your MATB1 in, although there can't be many expectant Mums who could disguise it until then, but obviously the earlier you tell them the earlier they can do risk assessment to eliminate any potential hazards.

I was 'Fatty' at work, but we all get on great so I didn't mind a bit of banter - they were just jealous of my impending year off.

So I can stay in denial a bit longer then! I just think that maybe I'm making but all up/its still going to go wrong which stops me wanting to say anything...

My workmates do seem genuinly sad that I'm going off on maternity which is nice. I guess you never know what people think of you till you're leaving.

I don't mind tubs really, at least it means my boss is accepting it.

I say jump in with both feet thunder, the first sentence is the hardest, so just blurt it out at him.

to all those with horrible bosses. And tubs? Fatty?? Hope I'm not in for that!
My work are so maternity friendly I even have a couple of lads on my team using a spare maternity ball (exercise ball) to sit at their desks!

barking hang in there for the scan tomorrow - not long now.
thunder I think you might need to start gradually moving out of denial now but do tell those you feel comfortable telling when you're ready to.

Thanks poppy yes I have told some more people now

So- more scans tomorrow- merk and boom?? What times please?

Mine's 11.20, crapping myself to be quite frank! Can't quite imagine that everything could possibly be ok...

Well done merk, hope there wasn't too much chauvinistic grunting in response. Eeee starting to show, that's so exciting!

barking sending hugs xxx

11 for me, quite excited at the moment but no doubt the fear will arrive in the morning

Good luck ladies! boom understandable about the nerves, I can't really preach about being calm when I was totally bricking it myself. You'll get there though and I'm looking forward to reading your good news.

And merk after scaring us all stupid, you have seen a healthy 11+something week foetus in there so we know all will be great for tomorrow. Some nerves are understandable of course but you keep with the confidence- we need some round here and you are our guiding light!

Both of you, the rest of us expect immediate updates

barking I know you're not really here any more but I really hope you get on ok tomorrow too x x

And I hope everyone else is ok. Including you tally

Morning. Have been awake for ages which is Sod's law when I don't need to go into the office. The mix of excitement and terror is stopping me get back to sleep. I also get my blood test results back so have had some interesting dreams about the results showing positive for everything!!