A thread for elderberries who are hovering in the bfp helicopter

[barkingtreefrog]

All elderberry grads welcome and anyone who fills berry criteria: ttc #1 a long time now finally bagged that elusive bfp, over 30...

Come join the next stage of the journey and compare sickness reports!!

I spose they're standard-issue legs which is lucky - I gather the choice in maternity jeans can be dire.

At least you can roll em up kat. With 33" legs you just get cold ankles and look like a big footed eejit.

Thunder I hear us leggy ladies need top shop long maternity jeans which evidently are amazing. I am a jean snob so will let you know how I get on with them this weekend

Come on barking. Really hoping all is well.

Cool, nice one merk, thank you. Did you check out that book? I read more last night- was very interesting indeed

Got to go back in 2 weeks so they can see if there is a change. There was a pregnancy sac and signs of an early pregnancy but no heartbeat . She said it might be too early to see if I conceived late in the cycle (and I know I didn't ovulate until cd21 at the earliest) or it could be a delayed miscarriage. Won't know until I go back for another scan. Not quite the news I was hoping for.

It took a while as I had a consultation, then the scan (dildoscan) then another chat wih the nurse. Just got home.

Barking that's got to be nerve wracking, you poor thing. How far along are you? My first scan the doc was eager to tell me numerous times that they regularly don't see a heartbeat on an early scan and everything turns out fine. Hugs. Hope DP is looking after you x

Oh goodness. Well it sounds like there is every chance that you are just later than you would be with a shorter LP so all might well be fine. Not nearly as positive as you'd hoped and I'm sure the next two weeks are not going to fly by.

You haven't had any spotting etc recently have you? A big hug for you barking

Hmm, sorry to hear it wasn't the news you were hoping for. But there does seem to be plenty to still be hopeful about - late ovulation, as you say, could mean it's a bit soon.
Annoying that there is yet more waiting though

Barking are you counting your 7 weeks to take into the account of late ovulation or not? I get 2 very different dates depending on whether I use lmp or o.
Please don't despair, you have no facts and there is no point beating yourself up at this point if you can help it x

thunder ironically, more spotting and cramps today after getting home from the midwife.

Thanks berries, I am actually so far managing not to despair. Feeling quite stoical. It was a dot, not a baby, which makes it more abstract I think.

Adjusting for late ovulation I would be 6+5 or 6+6. But then I could have taken 3+ days to conceive after ovulation which would take it further. Trying not to read the google results telling me about women who saw a strong heartbeat at 6 weeks.

Merk she did actually ask me if I wanted a picture but I said no. Couldn't cope with having a photo to look at and not knowing whether it was actually alive.

Texted my mum as I couldn't face calling her. She said 'try not to think about it too much in the next two weeks'. Ha ha.

The foetal cord (have I got that right?) measured 2.3mm. Apparently if it's anything less than 7mm they get you back for a second scan.

My private scan lady said she only gets a heartbeat on around half if patients at 6 weeks. Likelihood is you implanted later and all will be fine. Spotting post dildocam is normal, I was warned not to worry.
Stoical is good, a day at a time. Think 2 weeks is a long wait though, why didn't they say a week (and take bloods so they can check HCG is doubling). If the wait is unbearable would it be worth getting bloods 48 hours apart at the doc or a private scan sooner?

Spotting and cramps were after the failed appointment this morning, before the dildocam. They said 10 days was best but that would be Sunday and they don't make weekend appointments. If I did Monday or Tuesday it would cause most disruption at school and I would have to tell my head, which I really don't want to do especially as it might not be ok, so she wouldn't need to know at all. They offered me either earlier, on the Friday, or the Wednesday and I went for Wednesday. If I conceived late and everything is just too early despite the clear bfp on CD30 then next week could still potentially be too early for a heartbeat and I couldn't cope with it not being there a second time (but still not for a clear reason). I decided waiting another 5 days would be more reassuring if everything's ok as if all is well we should definitely see a heartbeat by then and also see more than just a tiny dot in the sac. I of course immediately regretted this decision but logically I think it's the best plan. We have two weddings to go to next weekend and I'd rather not have the possibility of bad news on the Friday as I know I'd be a mess and not want to go straight to a wedding that afternoon followed by another the next day. Staying with the possibility everything is ok is preferable I think.

barking I think you've made the right decision because like you say at the next scan you don't want any more question marks. Like the others say it is really early for today so I am staying totally positive for you.

Can you do something go treat yourself tonight- you need it after such a frazzling day x

I'm meeting one of my closest friends for dinner. Despite her living only half an hour away we've not been able to meet up since May due to one or both of us being most weekends. We'd usually see each other at least twice a month so it's been ages and there is lots to catch up on, not least me telling her we're engaged and asking her to be my bridesmaid!! She was the one other friend I was going to tell about the pg but I'm very torn now. I really want to be able to talk about it but it might be too much today. And possibly a bit of a downer given it's inconclusive really, and if she reacts by saying something that winds me up (she's the instadiffer that means well but seriously has no idea) I might well burst into tears in the restaurant, which isn't good. On the other hand I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep quiet given the stress of today. I shall play it by ear and see what comes out!!

being busy most weekends...

Sounds like a good evening ahead and a good idea to play it by ear. To be honest, I reckon you could probably fill the evening with other stuff including wedding talk so you may be able to just avoid talking about the pregnancy naturally. Just see how you feel but I totally understand not being sure about sharing- I haven't been able to tell anyone yet except for one very close friend.

Thunder I did get the book and start reading. I had read some of this in the paper (eg stats about alcohol coming from a trial that included people taking cocaine I think, and stats on infertility in over 30s coming from data from the early 1900s or something) so am thrilled to have the whole book. I like the facts so will be devouring more of this when I get into bed tonight!

Oo great merk! Book club coming up!

For everyone else if you're interested there's this book that looks very interesting if you haven't seen it- 'Expecting Better - why the conventional pregnancy wisdom is wrong and what you really need to know'
by Emily Oster

An economist on a quest for truth has actually taken on the myths and rumours by researching the real evidence relating to pg (and a bit about ttc like how alcohol in the 2ww might have some impact on conception (if extreme) but if you do conceive it will not have any impact on the baby)

Similarly 1 or 2 drinks a week in first tri and 1 a day in 2nd and 3rd tri have not been shown to have any impact on baby.

It's not about saying its fine to do what you like. It's about actually understanding the real risks so you can make informed choices that are right for you.

I'm looking forward to reading the bit about hair colouring!