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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant after anorexia - scared about weight gain!

76 replies

FredFlintstonesSister · 09/08/2013 19:10

I had a very serious eating disorder from ages 19 to 25 and eventually spent 9 months in hospital gaining weight. I thought I was over it and that my weight was reasonably normal until I came off the pill a year ago and my period didn't start. My DH and I really want a baby so I made a huge effort to gain over a stone and am now pregnant.

I absolutely thought I was over the ED by this point. I am now 12 weeks pregnant and the realisation has just hit that not only will I gain weight during pregnancy, something I am resigned to, but I will NEVER LOOK THE SAME AGAIN! Please tell me how stupid I am being. I really want a healthy pregnancy but feel myself becoming hyper critical of myself every time I eat.

OP posts:
LucyTheLittlestLioness · 09/08/2013 20:41

I was anorexic when I was younger, but have had 3 children. You won't necessarily put on lots of extra weight, lots of people don't. Breastfeeding uses up lots of calories, as does general running round after children.

Can you talk to your GP or midwife about how you feel?

I only really struggled with food in one of my pregnancies, but I did find that I felt much better after the 20 week scan, when I felt more connected to the idea I was feeding myself to feed my baby. Good luck.

Original poster
FredFlintstonesSister · 09/08/2013 20:49

I will speak to my GP if I feel I can't gain the weight I'm supposed to but for now it's more about the anxiety. I'm not under weight, nor am I currently counting calories or restricting my diet. Basically, I'm doing everything I'm supposed to but feeling really bad about it!

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Ls271082 · 09/08/2013 20:52

I know chick, also plz take no notice of people saying 'I got in my jeans two days later etc, its not helpful just giving you more pressure as it makes u feel bad u don't. Hopefully when our babies come over perspectives will change and we have different priorities. It maybe the making of u. Remember aiming to be a certain weight and getting there and it still not being enough and aiming for the next weight? Maybe you could turn that on its head and aim for different baby milestones. X

mamij · 09/08/2013 21:00

I had an ED when I was younger but I ate what I needed for my baby. I didn't eat more or less, just what my body told me. I put on about 7kgs for DD1 (she weighed 3.015kgs) and about 8kgs for DD2 (she weighed 3.1kgs and 8 days early!). I was shocked that I lost all of that "weight" immediately and weighed 2kgs less than pre-pregnancy with both.

PeriodMath · 09/08/2013 21:08

It doesn't change your body forever...unless you allow it to. I look completely normal from the back and in my limbs and face, I just look like I have a football up my top. It's not fat, it's my baby. Last time, I was wearing my usual clothes a couple of weeks after the baby was born. I expect it'll go the same way this time.

Your tummy will change but it's just a temporary house for your baby. Oh and unless you starve yourself baby will be fine. They take everything they need from you so you're the one who suffers if you don't eat well - not them.

Bunbaker · 09/08/2013 21:12

Sensible post from PM

katieAashley · 09/08/2013 21:12

I've had an eating disorder from ages11till 27 to be honest I only really started getting help for it a few months before I got pregnant I got really healthy and fit running lots then got pregnant a few months into therapy " go figure " :) I'm so happy to be pregnant but the changes in my body and not having control over it has been somthing I have really struggled with , it's also that pressure I feel to be the perfect pregnant women!!! I'm so glad to hear from from others who have also felt pressure and not loved all the changes your body goes through. Also To fedflintstonesister one thing that helped me is "you will never get this 9 months of dedication to your baby again so go hole hog and give it all the commitment you can and don't let having a baby define how your body looks like after only you can decide what you want your body to look like.. "And also my partner thew my scales out!!! Hope that helps Wink xxxx

Thurlow · 09/08/2013 21:22

It's ok to feel like this. Everyone has what to other people will be irrational worries when they are pregnant. Well done for fighting the anorexia and recovering before, that must have been hard and you've obviously done so well if you are now pregnant. Just keep acknowledging and talking about these feelings - it is better to be open about them and to get the support you need than hiding it away and risking limiting your eating again.

Most women I know haven't had that big a change in their bodies after having children. I actually have a smaller waist! There's that cliched saying about stretchmarks from pg being stripes that show how amazing you are (or something like that). Yes, there might be changes to your body, but try to focus on the fact that those changes are because your body did, quite frankly, the most amazing thing the female body can do.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Flowers

Original poster
FredFlintstonesSister · 09/08/2013 21:43

Thanks for all the support. It's great to hear from people who understand where I'm coming from. Although I have to say I am disproportionately upset by the comments from Minty - this us not an AIBU you know, this is an anxious pregnant woman looking for reassurance and support! I do think people sometimes forget there are real people at the other end of these posts...

I've been in recovery and at a reasonably normal weight for 10 years now which is why I'm no longer on touch with any eating disorder specialists. I will absolutely seek help if it is necessary. I don't really know anyone close who has had children and so have little experience about the after effects of childbirth of the body but I have seen and read a lot of horror stories in the media which has added to my anxiety. And thanks to those who said ignore the "I slipped straight back into my skinnies" comments. I really don't need to give myself any more unrealistic weight goals! Done all that years ago!

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Thurlow · 09/08/2013 21:50

Minty - ffs Hmm

MummyJetsetter · 09/08/2013 21:53

I saw that programme and it scared the life out of me! I'm pregnant for the second time and I didn't even get stretch marks the first time! I felt so sorry for her, I don't know anyone who's ended up looking that way so don't think it's that typical, she actually said she was overweight and had 2 pregnancies and i bet you've not got any excess weight. most people i know have just gone back to exactly how they were before. I held on to a stone but my figure definitely hasn't changed, if I'd got my bum in gear I could have got back to how I was before and I'll be doing it this time as don't plan to have a 3rd so it would be for keeps. Good luck and hope you can just relax and enjoy pregnancy! x

Original poster
FredFlintstonesSister · 09/08/2013 21:59

Thanks, that's reassuring. I'm just a normal size 10 these days so not super skinny but definitely not over weight in any way. I actually feel a lot better now about my potential weight gain. My hormones are all over the place at the moment and sobbed hysterically earlier over the Iams cat food advert! Some days are just like this!

OP posts:
badguider · 09/08/2013 22:09

i looked at that poor woman's stomach on the website after you mentioned it and while i know that some stomachs do go like that is by no means universal - i know LOTS of women who've had children and don't have an overhang... most have some stretchmarks and a little bit looser skin but not as much as that lady.
if you think about it - nobody really gets picked to go on tv unless they've got quite an extreme version of something.

crazyhead · 09/08/2013 22:16

I honestly was surprised how few changes there were for me Fred, and that's with me putting on quite a bit in preg. Things do ping back if you eat sensibly afterwards and you can end up more toned lugging a toddler around than you were before!

I've never had an ED and found it a tough thought losing your old body but I don't think it is particularly true. The main things that look worse about me is how much Weetabix is permanently stuck to my clothes by my toddler :)

Original poster
FredFlintstonesSister · 09/08/2013 22:20

I just hate how you only seem to see pictures of worst case scenarios or actresses who look like they were never pregnant at all two days after giving birth! The media really don't do women any favours. I think I was also a bit freaked out because my husband, who is massively supportive, has been going on about how hot he thinks I look now I'm pregnant. This is mostly because my breasts are now ginormous and I keep feeling compelled to tell him that I won't look like this after the baby! Like I have to prepare him for a potentially dumpy wife! In reality he always thinks I look gorgeous no matter what I do, it's just me being mental again!

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SunnyIntervals · 09/08/2013 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FredFlintstonesSister · 09/08/2013 22:59

You may well be right about her criticising other posters however I'm more referring to the comment "Op, It is not normal for your first concern during pregnancy to be about weight gain and the effect pregnancy has on you." None of this relates in any way to my original post. As I have saud my first concern is very much my baby which is why dedpite a huge amount of anxiety i am eating normally snd healthily. I also may have been sensitive due to the comment before hers being equally as rude - particularly when my fears and anxieties were referred to as "bollocks".

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Original poster
FredFlintstonesSister · 09/08/2013 23:00

Sorry for typos, very tired!

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SunnyIntervals · 09/08/2013 23:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FredFlintstonesSister · 09/08/2013 23:42

Thanks. Good to hear that others have managed. I know things will work out and I imagine as I begin to look more "pregnant" as opposed to pudgy I will feel more confident about how I look. It's really great to get so much support. Mumsnet rocks!

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Original poster
FredFlintstonesSister · 09/08/2013 23:43

Mostly!

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SunnyIntervals · 10/08/2013 07:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

runninggirl85 · 10/08/2013 08:24

I just wanted to reply as I feel exactly the same.

I had anorexia from 19- 24 and then it never really goes. I'm 28 and have just found out I'm pregnant. I think about 5 weeks but can't be sure as my periods are irregular.

I feel the same as you. Having a baby & being a mum feels amazing but the thing that scares me the most is putting on weight, having to eat properly and watching my body get bigger. I actually feel scared thinking about it.

I can't offer much advice but like the others on here, here if you would like to talk/ share x x

Carole803 · 10/08/2013 10:08

You seem to be doing the right things and looking after yourself to grow the baby.

Speak to your midwife and ask for ed support. She should be able to out you in touch with right people.

I know plenty of people who have quickly popped back to their pre-pregnancy figures, so don't lose sleep over it at this stage.

You have lots of good stuff to look forward to, like feeling the baby move.

Also, have you thought about getting a 4d scan of your baby.

They are a bit pricey, but might help as a reminder to you of what special things are going on inside you.

There are some good points made in this thread too, such as a lot of the weight is extra fluids like blood and amniotic, all for baby growth.

Focus on the baby, but don't neglect caring for you.

All the best and congratulations on making a littke human bean. It is very exciting.

Original poster
FredFlintstonesSister · 10/08/2013 10:55

Runninggirl, congratulations! Hopefully we will get over our anxieties in time. Carole, thanks for the support. You're right about having lots to look forward to. Right now I'm at the stage where I still feel pretty ill and tired and only look a little flabby. Things will no doubt look more positive after my next scan and once I start to show properly.

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