PG after MC - Keeping the worries at bay with Posifrickingtivity!!

[Chocolateteabag]

New thread ladies!

Happy birthday for tomorrow Bod sounds like you have a lovely day lined up!
DH is looking after DS tomorrow so I can go for a trip into York and a mooch round the shops. First stop will be a child free latte in Betty's!

Another vote for the Count the Kicks campaign. I have a wrist band kick counter and you can print a sheet of the site to keep track of movements. My Dear friend lost her little girl full term last year. So very sad. Always best to get checked out.

santa thanks so much for the link to count the kicks, will definitely read it. i had a bit of a panic this morning as i thought things were a little quiet in there (im 23+3) so got the doppler out, as soon as i put it on my tummy, the little squatter started breakdancing again and so it must have known i was a little worried and came up to reassure me :)

saggy good work on the climb! blimey it made me pant just thinking about it! i would be wary about the massage - the salon i go to do a specific pregnancy massage for ladies after 12 weeks, before that, no massages allowed. maybe you could opt for a facial or perhaps reflexology or something that they might recommend? definitely make them aware you are pregnant.

anda i love the working title names! isn't it amazing that you;re going to meet them so soon!!! heehee!

liesl my bump sometimes disappears during he day then pops waaaaay out at night! bit awkward for dressing!

i ate too many pick a mix this afternoon and gave myself a bit of an upset tum oops. nor could i eat my tea cos i was so full of sweeties. had to fib to DH and say i was just too tired to eat oopsies!!

Hello ladies just popping on to say hi

Has gary had her baby yet??? Hope all is going well.

This is the most posifrickintive thread ever, you ladies rock

Janie - I know you probably know this, and I really don't mean to sound preachy - but if you worried about movements get it checked instead of dopplar. Midwives told me that they don't just check for a hb, they also listen in for any signs of distress, or decreased hb, which we may not pick up, so not to use it and think all okay.
Sorry - sure you already know this, but would never forget it if I hadnt said anything!
Still, if normal movement has resumed now, all okay for this time anyway :)

Hi myrtle! How're you doing? X

Ethel and Marjorie! Love! How you'll ever call them anything else, I don't know!

Will start counting kicks at an appropriate time. At the mo I don't think there's a pattern (that I can feel) but I'm only 19 weeks. Still feeling quite a sharp jab every now and then which makes me think a) big 'un! And b) big strong boy?!

My DS was a big 'un... Over 10 lb!

hey myrtle :) hope you're doing ok. no news from gary yet...we're all on tenterhooks!

thanks pink, i really do appreciate your words. i normally get kicks when i get into bed at night if i'm reading on my back (raised back and head though). so far that's the main movement i feel, although when i have a hotcup of tea i do get a few boots in the belly as well :)

so when is the right time to start counting kicks? should they be constant throughout the day except for little rest periods? (first timer here don't ya know!) xx

:)
I'm also a first timer, so can't say for sure. As far as I have managed so far it's when you notice a difference to the usual movements. For example, I usually get something in the morning, then about 11am, after lunch, after dinner and in bed. And it's been increasing. So when I noticed nothing for 1 day- I had been running around all day - I figured I had just missed it, as if I not sat still it not as strong. So the next day I looked out for it, and noticed it was less than normal.

I was also worried about when is the right time to start noticing a difference, as up until the last couple weeks movements have been sporadic, but actually, when it came to it, I noticed what I felt was a significant difference not by looking for a specific number of kicks, but just when it was less than what I am used to.

Does that whole essay make sense?! Sorry - its hard to describe!! :)

thanks pink, i really appreciate it. funny... anytime i start thinking i haven't felt anything, the wee imp starts bashing me! i might start keeping a little note from now. although i'm office and desk based, i am constantly so incredibly busy so maybe i just don't really notice them during work, in comparison to when i'm watching tv or in bed. going to see blur on thursday so hopefully it will like dancing to that :)

That's good - if you are noticing when not there, I'm sure you are paying enough attention :)
Ooh blur sounds good.

Well, my hypnobirthing book has arrived, so I am about to go all hippy tree huggy at one with earth. Or something. clearly not read it yet will report back with opinions!

bring on the kicks :) i would rather you did a sun dance though rather than a rain dance!! i don't want thunder storms eek!

which hypno book did you go for? i'm have dh scrubbing the bathroom tonight. my plan is bath...clean jammies...relax into bed and try to read the breathing techniques section (i have the mongan one)...i've not been able to concentrate properly up to now. and i left my mobile at work so means i have zero distraction too yay! the cd is really good at getting me to sleep although i have no idea what it talks about after the first 5 minutes as i always fall asleep!

Ah mad day with the in laws

Been peeking in for news of gary tho, hope you're ok and have your baby now!

Counting the kicks was from 28w when I was PG with DS, not sure if that's changed but I have been getting the baby to kick every evening while watching telly just to make sure for a few weeks now, just in case! Cold can if coke and a bad of tangfastics works every time

And I defo don't use the doppler now for reassurance, always go in if you're not feeling kicks...they said after two hours of lying still and trying the coke/sweets thing when I was PG last time

I mean rain dance to keep rain away. Or something. Either way hoping for sun!

I got the maggie Howell one. Just the book at the moment, will get the cd if it seems sensible. Prefer reading to listening, so thought I'd give it a go. I have been ignoring the fact tht at some point there will hopefully be a birth, so anything to get me focused cant be bad!

Just checking in to see if there's any word from Gary...? This is like kate Middleton all over again!!!!

Can I ask for a little posifrickintivity on the more practical side of this pregnancy? My dp has been unemployed for past 18 months so I am sole income. I only have 3 months salary saved up and would love to take 9 months mat leave. My horrible work doesn't pay me a penny while on mat leave (only statutory obviously which won't go anywhere near our bills). What am I going to do??? So scared. Just keep putting it aside when i think about it as I have no idea how we'll survive... Of course will try to save between now and then but not sure it'll go anywhere near what we need to live ... Scared.

good luck with the book pink, i'd be interested to hear what it's like. the one i have is quite american but not toooo bad.

omri sorry you're having the money worry. dh and i are pretty crap with money and it's been a worry for us. if your dh is on benefits is he then able to get extra help when your baby arrives? i'm by no means an expert but there are quite a few schemes / tax credits etc. out there to hlp. do you have sure start in your area? someone recently pointed me in the direction of www.acas.org.uk which is pretty useful. i've read up on people being able to take mortgage holidays too.

we don't have any savings at all so it is going to be a stressful time. i've also been trying to put away some money each month although it's a really small amount. i've tried to make lots of little changes - had 3 months of no impulse buys, i've gone through my drawers and cupboards and found about 4 years supply of moisturisers and make up that i'm just going to bloody well use. i made £100 on ebay selling clothes and shoes and that went in my pot.

the main thing i've read is that babies don't actually cost that much. breast feeding is free if you can manage it, you will receive oceans of clothes as gifts. there are quite a few good forums on the credit crunch section of mumsnet too with good advice.

Omri work out what bills you can get rid of for 6 month or so - as Janie said if you have a mortgage you can usually either take a payment holiday or go onto interest only temporarily. Cancel any non-essentials like Sky (or at least extra packages like sports if you are tied into a contract), magazine subs etc. Dont forget you won't have work expenses any more - lunches, travel, work clothes all add up very quickly! If you and DH are both at home there will be lots of time to get best deals on shopping, and time to cook from scratch - since becoming a SAHM I can do a weekly shop for £25-30 per week for me, DH and 2.5yr old DS which includes nappies, cleaning products etc, and just top up with milk and bread during the week. Definitely apply for tax credits, and no harm applying for housing benefit if renting - the worst they can say is no! Also don't forget you will get child benefit which is about £80 every 4 weeks, and SMP which is about £500 per month.

Ooh Gary I've heard inductions can go on a bit, I really hope you are quiet because you are in a happy new born bubble and not because it's still going oooooon! If it's the latter please please please let you have a baby this month not nxt

Blackholes much respect....did you actually push your 10lb plus 'toddler' out? I struggled with 7!

Myrtle have you got more tests today? I have everything crossed for you xxxx

Omri if you go onto the Gov.uk it will calculate what benefits you can get. Great advice Rockchick and Janie. I'm also worrying a bit about the money and me and DH both work! Am liking the idea of a mortgage holiday! Think we are going to start buying some essentials soon like nappies as we used so many with DS and at least would have some stock whilst still earning!

I start my Hypno-Birthing course tonight. Am very excited :) will feedback in the morning.

Looking forward to hearing some news from Gary. Excited much!

omri Just a quick word re nappies - have you considered using cloth, i.e. re-usable nappies? They can save you sooo much money, it is unbelievable (not to mention being very environmentally friendly). Plus, you can get very good deals buying them second hand from eBay or Gumtree and the likes.
We used them with DS for almost 2 years, and they were great.

And maybe a naïve question - can your DH get a job?! Apologies if I'm stepping in something here, of course, there might be specific reasons as to why he is unemployed...

omri statutory pay isn't as bad as nothing - so its 90% of your full pay for six weeks, then £140 (ish) a week for another 33 weeks. PLUS (and this makes a big difference) you accrue holidays and bank holidays while you're off. SO if you can, don't take any holiday for the rest of this year, then you use your holiday allowance for this year (whatever's left) at the very start of your maternity leave and then take most of your holiday for the following year at the end of maternity leave. If you work full time, you get 28 days paid leave (by law) (including bank holidays, so it might be 20 days leave plus 8 days bank holiday all paid, or 28 days leave plus unpaid bank holidays).

So, by my crap maths, that's pretty close to full pay for 16 weeks or 3.5 months. With 3 months savings, that's six months, so you're only three months short of what you want to get!

As others have said, babies are not expensive. Find out when your local NCT sales are (you don't have to be a member) and use them for all the baby clobber and clothes. They will not mind or notice if they're in a second hand cot or second hand babygrow!!!! (And NCT are generally pretty good at making sure everything is in decent condition). The only thing you should buy new is a car seat unless a close friend/relative is giving you one that you KNOW hasn't been in a crash. You can do it girl - it might be hard but you will find a way, because that's what mothers do. (We're made of pretty special stuff, you see, that gives us magic powers).

Gardenworm thank you! Scan and hcg are tomorrow, so should find out then whether this is going anywhere or not. Feeling really resigned to it all tbh - que sera, sera and all that :)

Blackholes hi hi, how are you? I really want to properly join this thread instead of just being a tourist haha

I genuinely love Ethel and Marjorie as names!! Can't stop thinking about names lately, bit premature but what can you do

Still no news from gary?! Expect she is tucked up with bundle of joy ignoring mumsnet xxx

Thinking of you myrtle. Hope you get some answers soon xxx

Can't stop thinking about Gary - I went on my hospital tour last night and had a bit of a breakdown on the way home - think it all suddenly seemed a bit real. Wondering whether all this being in denial about everything being okay has not been the best thing for me in retrospect - have a feeling that when I stop work (IN TWO DAYS ) it's going to hit me a bit hard.

Myrtle it's funny - we keep thinking that they'll stick. We have a cat called Little Grump and that was never supposed to be her name either but if just stuck.

Hope you're doing ok gary

Good luck for tomorrow mytrle x

I had a proper meltdown too last night anda so you're not alone Went to see my friend and her new baby and while it did get me excited abt meeting my new little one, I got so upset last night as she had such an easy pregnancy and her labour sounded great, fairly quick water birth. I don't wish any different for her (or anyone!) but every time I hear of someone else's experiences of PG/birth in RL I upset myself thinking it's not fair what I and you guys have to go thru when other people sail thru with no probs. very selfish of me I know but you can't help how you feel inside