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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Is anybody NOT scared of giving birth?

111 replies

shniper · 20/07/2013 12:37

With my first I wasn't worried/scared a bit. My antenatal classes didn't mention anything to do with labour and nobody wanted to share their birth experiences with me so I really didn't have a clue what to expect!

My friends dad asked me if I was scared and I said no, he called me a liar because everyone gets scared Hmm

This time around I feel exactly the same, only I know what to expect and it still doesn't bother me.

Oh asked if I was scared and I said no, he said 'not even a little?' no.. its not a feeling I choose to switch off I'm just not worried, end of.
In fact, I have my dd name tattooed on me and I'm more worried about having my sons name tattooed on me because I had such a traumatic experience with my last!

I get this reaction a lot when I tell people the truth, I feel as though I should lie instead and say yes I'm bloody terrified just to satisfy them!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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mejypoo · 20/07/2013 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheTiger · 20/07/2013 12:57

I wasn't scared, I was looking forward to finding out what it was like and finally having the experience millions of women have. I absolutely loved giving birth and would love to do that day over again!

I told my newly pregnant friend this and she said she was so happy I said that as people just keep telling her how awful it is and she was terrified!

Shenanagins · 20/07/2013 12:59

I wasn't scared of labour for my two births as it would have been utterly pointless as the baby would come out regardless.
However when my second labour started i did think at one point that I couldn't do it all again, but needless to say, i did.

CheeseFondueRocks · 20/07/2013 13:30

I wasn't scared with DD and am now not scared with this pregnancy. I'm more "worried" I won't get a pool birth again like last time because both rooms were busy but that's more of an inconvenience.

PoppettyPing · 20/07/2013 14:58

I'm not scared of childbirth at all tbh. We're designed to do this, if we weren't, our species would have died out long ago!
I'm of the mind that fear is actually what causes a lot of the pain and complications in childbirth. Not all, I know, and there are things can can go wrong, but taking the fear down several notches can't hurt surely? People love to scare you and bad experiences always get told more often than the good ones. Just smile and nod :)

Layl77 · 20/07/2013 15:03

No I'm not scared I'm very excited! This is half the battle really, lil hypno birthing about positivity etc. it's amazing I loved it

CheeseFondueRocks · 20/07/2013 15:05

And Ina May Gaskin. really helped me with my first birth.

badguider · 20/07/2013 15:18

I'm approaching my first birth and I am not really scared for me at all, I know that some horrible damage/injury might result but for some reason that isn't bothering me much, I guess I'm hoping for the best and also know that the body's pretty amazing at recovering even from quite horrible injury. In the end it's only a day or so out of my whole life and I'm not really afraid about the experience although I know it will be very intense.

BUT... I am a bit apprehensive for my baby. Being born will be the most dangerous moments of his little life.

TruJay · 20/07/2013 15:21

I wasn't scared at all with my son, I just couldn't wait for my baby and like other posters have said wanting to experience it. My son came out just fine and I stuck to my birth plan and had no pain relief so was really proud of myself. Although 20 mins after he was born everything went wrong for me and I ended up in surgery for 3 hours which was terrifying! And I didn't really get time with my son until he was 4 hours old which was really hard.

I lost our second baby last year and am now expecting our third in Nov, I'm not scared of giving birth again but I am afraid of something being wrong with the baby due to previous loss and I am scared I will have the same complications again, fingers crossed all will be fine tho.

I would never tell anyone that labour and birth is horrible tho, especially if it is their first child, it is so cruel as u can really terrify the poor person! It's awful when people do that.

Suzieismyname · 20/07/2013 15:30

No intention of having any more DC but if I were I wouldn't be scared.

I would however be very conscious that childbirth is a very dangerous time for both mother and baby.

Women have not been designed for childbirth, we have evolved over millions of years. Unfortunately big human heads are a tight squeeze through the birth canal and that does make it painful and potentially dangerous.

TheCountessOlenska · 20/07/2013 15:33

I wasn't at all scared either time - probably the nice calming pregnancy hormones had something to do with it.

thekatsatonthematt · 20/07/2013 15:34

I'm not scared. Wasn't with ds either. I'm quite a pragmatic person though, and i do believe that gettong hysterical about any situation is just going to make it worse.

I'm curious to see if it will be easier/harder the secomd time round. I am obviously expecting it to hurt, but it's such a small part of becoming a parent isnt it?

Frizz1986 · 20/07/2013 15:44

I am 15 weeks with my first and the idea of childbirth has never really bothered me at all. I do have slight concerns that something could go wrong but I wouldn't say I am scared.
Women have evolved over a long time to give birth and with the medical advancements these days there are so many things that the hospital staff can safely deal with. I guess u just have to put in all in their hands and trust them.
Tbh I think I am rather looking forward to experiencing something so special. Plus of all the people I know (quite a few have had traumatic experiences) all of them want more so at the end of the day it's clearly worth it.

ch1134 · 20/07/2013 17:04

I'm more scared of not giving birth. Between them my sisters have 5 kids, and have had 5 caesarians... I'm scared of surgery, not birth

misskatamari · 20/07/2013 17:09

Before becoming pregnant I was very scared of birth as everyone seems to have some horror story to tell you. I'm not 11 weeks pregnant though and I'm not scared at all. I thought I would be but for some reason it's just not worrying me.

I'm hoping to do hypnobirthing too which I think will really help me stay calm throughout.

Original poster
shniper · 20/07/2013 17:14

Sorry to hear about your loss TruJay

Like posters have said, I would hate for anything to go wrong but I'm not going to know up until that point and if it does I can deal with it then.

OP posts:
Suzieismyname · 20/07/2013 17:14

Try to bear in mind that just because it's a natural process, it doesn't mean it won't hurt like mad.

Bit like teething except much worse!

Thesebootsweremadeforwalking · 20/07/2013 17:16

Yes, I was apprehensive, but not so much that it kept me awake at night. There was a point in both of my pregnancies where it dawned in me that I was actually going to have to push this baby out, and it bothered me for a week or two, then I pulled myself together again.

Neither of my labours was anything like as bad as I feared it might be, though.

Vickibee · 20/07/2013 17:22

My niece is so scared of giving birth that she has asked the MW for an elective caesarean. No medical reason just she is too scared to push. IMO this should not be allowed, there is plenty of options for pain relief. I would rather push than have a major surgical op that takes weeks to heal? Due next month

BangOn · 20/07/2013 18:43

I wouldn't say birth is dangerous. I would say it has the potential to be, but then so does riding a bike, or eating broccoli, and we've all done both successfully, without much, or any, fear.

Yes, for most people it will hurt, but the more relaxed you are the less that's the case. And the less fear you have, the more relaxed you'll be.

qumquat · 21/07/2013 00:12

I'm not scared of birth, but I am very aware that giving birth is one of the most dangerous things I will probably ever do. I have to admit the 'women have been doing it for centuries' argument makes me want to respond 'yes, and women have been dying doing it for centuries'. We are just very lucky here and now to have the NHS and excellent medical facilities available to us.

katrinaxx · 21/07/2013 00:49

this is my first child ive had seven miscarriages and felt it was never going to happen and now im 16 weeks im absolutely terrified of giving birth everyone keeps scareing me with there birth stories

urtwistingmymelonman · 21/07/2013 07:24

not scared in fact just very exited!
I know they say you forget how painful it is but I just remember it being bloody hard work and exhausting.in a good way.
the thing im worried about is that I have a blood clotting disorder so im constantly remimnding my obstetrician not to forget this when im giving birth.
he kind of rolls his eyes and says'yes.we know' lol!

Cavort · 21/07/2013 07:43

I only gave birth to my first 16 days ago so it is very fresh for me and I think it's absolute bollocks that being relaxed will make it better. I was very relaxed and not scared in the slightest but it was still the most horrendous unmanageable pain. At the height if I was offered euthanasia I would have taken it. I appreciate everyone's experience is different but mine was hell and it had absolutely nothing to do with being fearful of it in advance. But it's a means to an end and the end result is lovely. Smile

LouiseD29 · 21/07/2013 07:53

I've been scared of the idea of childbirth most of my adult life. However now, at 37 weeks pg I have never felt calmer about it. My body has done a pretty good job of knowing what to do so far and I just have a reassuring sense of inevitability about the whole thing. Yes, I'm sure it will be painful, but I trust my body, and if not, I trust the army of qualified medical professionals on hand with pain relieving drugs! In the grand scheme of things it's actually a very small part of having kids and I don't mind going through it because I will get to meet my daughter afterwards.

I realise I might change my tune, but at the moment, feeling pretty excited about the whole thing.