Share your embarassing pregnancy stories here...

[moominmaiden]

... because I can't be the only one!! Please!!

Currently sitting on the bed, wrapped in a towel. DH is in the living room two floors below potentially wrapped in a shock blanket.

Ten minutes ago I asked him if he fancied a shag to try and get things moving (38 weeks in this heat is no fun and I'm getting desperate). I must have been more excited by this prospect than I thought because a few seconds later I suffered what can only be described as a catastrophic bladder failure.

I pissed on his leg, and then left a yellow trail all the way through the bedroom and bathroom as I sprinted to the toilet. Literally no warning.

Good job we have laminate and not carpet

Earlier on in the pregnancy, I was sick on the bus about two minutes from my stop. Amazingly enough no-one noticed me quietly unpack my shopping and puke into the empty bag, although the bus driver gave me an odd look as I got off the bus awkwardly carrying my shopping in my arms whilst carrying an apparently empty shopping bag.

Oh, the shame...

When I was about 13 weeks, I was walking along the street when I suddenly got the urge to puke. Bolted to the nearest patch of grass and bushes and violently heaved my guts up... And pissed myself. In the street. Now 19 weeks and so don't miss the sickness

Have to say, I did giggle a bit about your shopping bag fiasco

Oh, Futterby, I've done the same thing too - thankfully not in public though! I got up in the night to be sick and ended up doing a simultaneous wee on the bathroom floor. DH's face when he came in to investigate...

I've been keeping a list of indignities and am seriously considering randomly grounding the baby when he is 14 and wanting to play on his Playstation 7 or whatever it is that kids will be doing in 2027

Haha! I've grown so much body hair that I feel like a chimpanzee, and my friend suggested that when the baby is playing up I've to say "I grew a beard and peed in the street for you!"

Not a pregnancy moment but post birth. I had had an epidural and 2nd degree tear they were stitching up. Without realising what happened I was trumping right in the midwife's face. Mortified!!!!

Are you sure it wasn't your waters??

Oops - was grinning at Futterby's comment.

Pretty sure it wasn't my waters. I have anosmia so ... erm ... had to ask DH to smell it to be sure. He said it was definitely wee.

Poor sod...

Oh I have many... With my first, my waters leaking on bus... Or wetting myself in public, or vomiting on my then CEO.

This time, vomiting out of my classroom window, vomiting on a major roundabout, vomiting mid sex, vomiting so hard I peed in the hospital bed... That's just to name a few!!!

I unexpectedly vomited on a flight on a business trip (haven't been air sick since a young child), so on my own in work clothes. The poor holidaymaker next to me passed me a sick bag, but it started leaking and I got sick all over my hands and clothes with only one pathetic wet wipe to clean myself up. It must have stunk because I had eaten a garlickly sandwich a short while before (now no longer eat or drink on any flights to prevent a repeat).

I apologised profusely to the poor chap and explained it was because I was pregnant (trying to get some sympathy, rather than look like a disgusting smelly, pukey animal)

I went out for tea at 11 weeks with DP. Full Chinese banquet. Ended up spewing it up in the alley behind with people passing by giving me this look . It was 8pm, June and full daylight. I must have looked like a right drunkard.

Wee doesn't really smell strongly straight way though so it must be very hard to tell... And amniotic fluid is straw coloured so could be mistaken for wee. Sure you don't need to be checked out? Any more leakage?

I've done the peeing while puking thing a couple of times too, luckily I had no witnesses.

The worst embarrassing moment came from my poor sister when pg with her first. She was on a bus and the urge to puke came on really suddenly, no time to get off or find something to catch it, she just lurched forward and it landed in the man in front of her's hood!

Moomin, I'm also 38 weeks and hot and uncomfortable so I feel your pain. Fingers crossed there isn't long to go for either of us!

I was having a physio massage 2 weeks ago and whatever she did must have dislodged some majorly impacted wind. Never have I sweated and clenched so hard in my life! When she finished and left me to get up it was like a tornado!

To my lovely physio - I sincerely hope the smell went quickly

OP this post has got me laughing so hard thanks for the great thread. By the way your first post literally had me laughing out loud!

MyNameIsLola that certainly puts puking into a plastic bag into perspective

You guys have me a little worried now as it has just happened again...

After showering I had another pee, then came downstairs and watched some Emotional Manipulative Evil on ITV about adoptive children being reunited with their birth families. DH came in from training to find me weeping in the dark, laughed at me, I laughed, and promptly did another pee on the cost me all my savings Laura Ashley sofa.

Poor DH had to smell that too, and he said it was odourless...

I didn't realise waters could be straw coloured. DH says the pee earlier did not smell very strong ... could it have been a mix of pee and my waters? I really don't understand how so much pee could be coming out when I haven't had anything to drink since before the earlier incident

But then baby has been practically kneading my bladder today...

So... I've been having what I think are Braxton Hicks for the last few days / feeling slightly nauseous (a week ago I was full of beans). Straying into TMI territory but I actually thought I was going into labour this morning and it turned out to be one of the most extreme bowel evacuations of my life...

Do any of those things sound like pre-labour?

PS. Having read back on my posts, I realise I sound like an unspayed tom cat. I promise I haven't spent the entire pregnancy pissing on things!

All of them sound like prelabour to me

Sounds like your waters to me.

My waters broke really early. Docs couldnt decide if it was my waters or pee as the test had been inconclusive... Cue about 8 people taking it in turns to sniff the pad I had on. Nice. Apparently amniotic fluids can smell like rich tea biscuits.
Scan revealed I had hardly any waters left so they had gone.
Hope it is the start and you soon have your lovely baby in your arms.

I peed myself for the first time yesterday I'm 26 weeks and I sneezed 5 times then laughed at something DH said and peed :( I was sat on our lovely fabric sofa too :( lucky it's gold colour!!

I've also had some pretty horrific wind throughout this pregnancy. The sort that could easily clear a room. It seems to always come when I'm in a queue or other situation where I can't just walk off too.

That would be lovely

No contractions however, just a bit of pressure down below, and baby is shouldering about slightly ... I know waters can sometimes break a while before they start, so am I okay to go to bed and see if anything happens through the night, or should I call the hospital and check? I'm really unsure as the pains I've been having are very mild ... although apparently my Mum couldn't feel her contractions when she was having me (she was hooked up to a monitor so the midwife knew she was having them) so maybe it's genetic.

Or maybe I did just pee myself

dramajustfollowsme that's the funniest image I've had in my head for a while, although it does put me off the thought of rich tea biscuits slightly!!

Going to work on the bus one morning, about 11wks pg, started to feel reeeeaaallly nauseous. I started taking off my clothes (er, cardi and scarf), put my bag on the floor, fanning myself with hand... I got close to the exit so I could leap out abd hurl on the street.... bus got stuck in traffic, did a big jolty start, I got thrown against a man in a wheelchair and... HONK! Mortified is not a strong enough word. Poor, poor bastard. I was apologetic, he was lovely (have since seen him out and about and we share a smile, he's met DS, told him off!). Other passengers just stared and backed off like a herd of gnu from crocodile infested waters, bastards.

I reckon call your midwife! Good luck...!

I second that, call the mw!