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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Share your embarassing pregnancy stories here...

51 replies

moominmaiden · 08/07/2013 20:27

... because I can't be the only one!! Please!!

Currently sitting on the bed, wrapped in a towel. DH is in the living room two floors below potentially wrapped in a shock blanket.

Ten minutes ago I asked him if he fancied a shag to try and get things moving (38 weeks in this heat is no fun and I'm getting desperate). I must have been more excited by this prospect than I thought because a few seconds later I suffered what can only be described as a catastrophic bladder failure.

I pissed on his leg, and then left a yellow trail all the way through the bedroom and bathroom as I sprinted to the toilet. Literally no warning.

Good job we have laminate and not carpet

Earlier on in the pregnancy, I was sick on the bus about two minutes from my stop. Amazingly enough no-one noticed me quietly unpack my shopping and puke into the empty bag, although the bus driver gave me an odd look as I got off the bus awkwardly carrying my shopping in my arms whilst carrying an apparently empty shopping bag.

Oh, the shame...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fluffandnonsense · 09/07/2013 03:46

This thread really has made me chuckle! So far I've avoided too much humiliation although my 'wind issues' are getting a tad worrisome. So far I've been able to do the drop and walk but I think it's only a matter of time before I get cornered with my own fruity scent in a crowded room

OP do we have any more movement yet?? Any contractions?

foxbasealpha · 09/07/2013 03:56

moominmaiden definitely call the hospital!! don't wait. If it's your waters they will ask you to come in and check you out. if labour still hasn't started they will send you home, but (depending on the protocol where you are) if labour doesn't start within 18 hours they will give you antibiotics and induce (antibiotics to reduce risk of infection since protective sac has broken). this is what happened to me for DS1. good luck!!

ecofreckle · 09/07/2013 04:04

op in my recent experience waters smell of Semen! mw agreed that this can be the case. have another sniff and good luck when the time comes.

Original poster

moominmaiden · 09/07/2013 10:16

Sorry for disappearing (i.e. falling asleep) - no more activity to report. I called the midwife this morning and she said it sounds like a "bladder control issue" - loving the euphemisms

Anyway, she said to put a pad on and keep and to go in if I've soaked through in 3-4 hours.

I'm pretty sure I just wet myself though

OP posts:

raqueluchi · 09/07/2013 14:23

My "bladder control issues" decided to begin in the changing room at h&m when I sneezed and was mortified to see a little puddle appear on the floor.

nancerama · 09/07/2013 15:19

I was getting ready for bed and making small talk with DH whilst pottering around the bathroom. I recall saying something about baby brain being a myth and an excuse used by pregnant women to get away with doing very little.

I changed into my PJs, picked up the clothes I had been wearing all day, and flushed them down the loo.

AbiElizabeth · 09/07/2013 15:24

I threw up all over the fresh bread in tescos. a woman walked passed me with perfume on that made me instantly spew my lunch before I had even had time to realise what was happening and turn away. I just burst into tears as I didn't have enough money to pay for all the bread.

thankfully they were very nice about it and didn't charge me.

Original poster

moominmaiden · 09/07/2013 15:31

Haha, nancerama! I've done something similar - emptying sachets of cat food into the dustbin without thinking. Poor cats were mortified. No wonder one of them spends most of his day trying to break into the bin!

Speaking of baby brain, there was some sketch show on the radio the other week along the "stupid questions asked by Americans" line (no offense to any Americans reading) which included the following exchange:

Q: What's the capital of Africa?
A: Jumanji!

I laughed along with DH, we lapsed into silence, then a few minutes later (we were driving back from the supermarket) I pipe up from the passenger seat...

Me: So what is the capital of Africa?

The worst part is I tried to defend myself with such brilliant logic as "I mean, don't they have the equivalent of Washington DC or something?".

I didn't come to my senses until the next morning.

OP posts:

PhieEl06 · 09/07/2013 17:10

I'm 38 weeks pregnant too & last night me & OH we're sitting on the floor in the (newly decorated & carpeted) nursery sorting out baby things, I had the sudden urge to trump, however it's a good job I rolled slightly beforehand because it happened to be the start of what can only be described as explosive diarrhoea I then had to walk like a crab on all fours to the bathroom!
OH was lovely about it & stood outside the bathroom door listening to me crying but overall a very humiliating experience!

TinkyPeet · 09/07/2013 17:33

*wonders how many of us just googled the capital of Africa! Lmao!!

AbiElizabeth · 09/07/2013 17:41

I was going to ask what it was, but it seemed like something everybody knows.

mejypoo · 09/07/2013 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StormBird · 09/07/2013 21:37

21 wks PG - just wet myself laughing at this thread!!

RedlipsAndSlippers · 09/07/2013 21:48

I'm 24 weeks pregnant and am definitely having the baby brain issues.
Last night we went to my grandparents for dinner. Afterwards we left theirs, got in the taxi, and made it most of the way home before I realised I wasn't wearing any shoes Cue 4 year old DD laughing relentlessly all the way home.
Also butter keeps appearing in the plate cupboard...
Eco I found that too!

ZingWidge · 09/07/2013 23:19

Rollermum · 10/07/2013 13:20

This thread made me chuckle. I haven't weed on anything (yet). All my embarrassing moment involve sitting on a wall or bench in public unable to stop crying. I feel fine but it just happens.

Oh and I left £10 in a cash machine whilst I sauntered off singing to myself...

feekerry · 10/07/2013 13:27

i was in hospital with hg but feeling better so drank a bottle of fanta. then was hideously sick bringing it all back up in my hospital bed as it over flowed the sick tray they gave me. it was visiting time on the ward so everyone had visitors who had the pleasure of viewing this episode. then when the nurses got me out of bed one of them pointed out i had also pissed in the bed.
not the best moment of my life.

MummyPig24 · 10/07/2013 14:25

Oh bloody hell. Something like these will happen to me I just know it! I'm 6 weeks with dc3 and nothing bad has happened in previous pregnancies so it must be my turn!

Doctorbrownbear · 10/07/2013 14:32

Waters should not be straw coloured they should be clear. If there was a colour it would mean there was meconium in them which is very serious. Waters smell of straw.

Feelslikea1sttimer · 10/07/2013 14:45

Now that is something I never knew.... I actually thought Africa was a country and my OH just smirked at me when I asked him that question, he is now reeling off every country, I am shocked (I am not sure baby brain can be blamed for this one though, It is just me being thick!)

But I have been giggling about all of these stories...

SupermansBigRedPants · 10/07/2013 14:46

I shat myself 5 minutes from dds school when I was about 10 weeks pg with ds - too much fresh orange juice - it stank and ran down my legs 'luckily' I had leggings on

I Peed myself almost every time I spewed from 30 weeks (only a handful of times but still!)

I 'popped' liquid all over the bathroom floor and swore blind it was my waters - I'd pissed myself.

HaD to do some sort of gymnastics to wipe my arse past 25 weeks because my bump was so huge I just couldn't reach

This time I managed 30 odd weeks before the gymnastics started and have only mildly peed myself when sneezing/coughing/laughing hard pregnancy really isn't as glamorous as adverts/tv shows make it look!!!

QuietNinjaTardis · 10/07/2013 18:13

This thread is a real advert for doing your pelvic floor exercises.

elliehannah9902 · 10/07/2013 20:01

I went into labour 4 weeks early without warning. My waters broke in a Tesco cafe while I was having a quick sandwich with my 3 year old son and his Godfather, who was just about to take him on a day trip.

After queue jumping at the toilets, I removed my very wet knickers to make myself a little more comfortable and The Godfather :-) rushed me to the hospital (I was already 5cm by then) before taking a rather shocked little Tom on his outing. It was only later on, when my husband got to the labour suite that I realised I'd left my wet knickers on the back seat of The Godfather's car!

ZingWidge · 10/07/2013 22:15

about 8 mths pg with DD - I wasn't hungry all day, but had a massive lunch just beforw school run.
big mistake!

I had to get DS5 out of his cot, then in the car, drive, park,pushchair out, lift boy out of car,into pushchair and run.

all the lifting and bending after a big meal made me feel so ill, I felt so sick I didn't make it to the classroom door, but had to sit down on a bench.

of course everyone got really worried and helped to get my DS3 & DS4 from 2 ends of the school, as I just couldn't move.
I felt so ill, I almost cried.

the mums and teachers were so sweet and helpful, but it made me feelf so bad and guilty that it was all because I just had to...erm...finish a huge bag of crisps!

MotherOfNations · 10/07/2013 22:17

DoctorBtownBear Amniotic fluid is indeed straw coloured. I had an amniocentesis a few weeks ago and it does resemble urine.

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