Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Morning ladies!

Yay vall! I'm so so pleased for you and the little bean. I'm not surprised you are worn out, it is all so emotionally wearing. Hope you can relax a bit today and enjoy your good news.

mrshy a little girl!! With her long legs sound like you might be growing a model :). So pleased all is ok. Ha ha at her giving you the 2 finger salute. Do you have a girl's name picked out yet? I'm doing exactly the same as you in that I was stupidly excited about finding out the gender at next week's scan, but then stated to feel like I jinxed it and am now super nervous.

twinkle I too am pregnant with a frostie. I had 2 fresh ivf cycles with supposedly 2 top quality embryos put back each time with nada result. The embie that was only a 3 celler on day 3 made it to blast and was frozen and was a 5bb when defrosted. My clinic give fets a 50% success rate. I do agree with everyone else that it's about finding the right embryo. Re prep for the FET, I just carried on as normal, even drinking up until ET. After ET I was v v lazy and didn't do much for a few days, tried to eat healthy apart from all the Easter eggs etc. I am so sorry this cycle hasn't worked but you have a v good chance with your FET.

shazz the yoga was ace last night! It was nice and gentle, with a bit of message and meditation chucked in. I got the urge to giggle though when we were all left relaxing sleeping for a bit, like we were having our afternoon nap. I'd def recommend it.

Right The List. Anyone who says the world is overpopulated and ivf is wrong can go on it, right at the top. As can David Cameron (bet he just shags Sam once and gets her up the duff) and also George Osborne . And rhianna and Chris brown, although that's mostly metro's fault for printing bits of her anatomy on a daily basis!

Hope you all have good days and don't suffer too much in the heat.

Lots of good positive stories for you twinkle. Have courage.

Hurrah for a good scan and a girl mrsh, girls really are great! (Not that I know any different). A long legged one too, she will either be a Top Model or a Hurdler. Or with all that finger action a Very Tall Pianist.

gin bleeee at George Osborne. I'm going to take it as read that the entire ruling class have their own special lift / bus.

Today my lift contains: Kirsty Allsop; Tommy Zoom; Victoria Coren; Greg Wallace; Jimmy Carr; Ricky Gervais; Tracy Emin; Baby Jake; Cath Kidston; Gwynneth Paltrow; Julian Worricker and Edie McCready.

It is a big lift. The muzak is a compilation of 1980s power ballads.

... or a constant replay of the Power of Love. Aaaaggghhh!!

Great news MrsH! I predict Wimbledon glory for her.

Twinkle, I too am an expert of failed cycles. It's very hard but I found knowing easier than going through the torturous 2WW. I am now 35 weeks pregnant from a 3 day transfer of an embryo that was ok but nothing special. IVF is such a crap shoot. My transfer was around Christmas so I pretended it wasn't happening, ate naughty foods and drank champagne and a few beers. I did the same with my previous successful (but unsuccessful) pregnancy so make of that what you will. The problem with IVF is that we are all convinced that how we were/ate/drank/acted/supplemented gave us the 2 pink lines but in reality it's down to the embryo which would have stuck regardless.

Very wise words Expat. Wish I had thought of that when I was beating myself up for not having acupuncture/drinking in the lead up to ET of m failed cycle. Sticky embryos are tough little buggers!

As a friend keeps pointing out to me, if I MC now, it is because the embryo has been genetically crap from fertilisation not because of anything else...not helping reduce my stress that much but I should keep bearing it in mind.

mrs congrats on the baby girl! I think all of us on thread now who have found out the gender are having girls, funnily enough. I am also hoping mine takes after DH in the height department.

val it is so true that it is down to the embryo and not the precise habits of the mother or father. You can really drive yourself crazy for no benefit at all.

twinks I've never done an FET but I have to say I am full of admiration for your 21 embryos! That is fantastic, there must be a few stickies.

Fucking hell. That lift is extremely crowded ! It will be even more crowded when I put Denise Van Outen, that Delevigne model (she's bloody everywhere) and Michael 'oooooohhhhhhh my god he makes me swear at the tv, and i mean proper swear' Gove in it.

I put this into the mix too - we also had a 'down the pub' category. People you wouldn't want to shag, but would like to take down the pub for a pint because they would be fun. For example, Ant and Dec or Tom Hollander (who plays Rev).

Oh, and mariana I have to disagree with you on Greg
Wallace. I do luff a bit of the shouty fat green grocer on the moving wireless. He's my guilty secret . But not in that way.

vall absolutely wonderful news about Valembie. You must be soooo relieved.

mrsh Team Pink - lovely. She sounds about as badly behaved as my nipper was at my last scan. We do love a bit of diva action though, don't we ? And yes, the Ecclestone daughters can climb aboard the bus and never leave. They are utterly vile and I hate their ostentatious displays of wealth in these constrained times. They could do so much more with their money but all they do is sit around. Makes me sick.

shazza please please please report back on the hypnobirthing. I have been meaning to check-out a girl called jack too. You have inspired me to have a peep now.

twinks hi lovely !

fairy I am glad your appointment showed everything is on track. X

ceara great advice re the FET. I had no idea I was preggo and after my failed ivf earlier this year and so, because I was I thoroughly depressed, I had quite a lot of wine. The nipper stuck around though, so it really is mainly down to the embie.

mariana is baby jake from Corrie ? (I have probably made such a tit of myself asking that question !)

gin of course Cameron and Osborne are in the lift/on the bus.

I have now decided that I would like a water birth. There is only one birthing pool at my hospital and it's first come, first served. I will take anyone down who gets in there before me, I swear to god. I don't want to have one at home - the cat will probably try to have a drink out of it and I have a small Victorian two up, two down so there's bugger all room for that kind of malarkey.

noks Baby Jake is an adorable cartoon baby on Cbeebies. Edie McCreadie is a v boring character on another Cbeebies show called "Bala-boring" around my hood.

I concur totally on our PM and Gideon Osborne in the lift also the Ecclestone twits. Also Jimmy Carr (wince). And Michael Gove can just climb up the lift shaft after everyone else.

I can't think of anyone else because my brain has melted after having waddled into town to get some more magnesium supplements from Boots. Crikey it's hot.

Baby Fucking Jake is always on CBeebies. Nokkie you will learn to hate him soon enough. I would never tire of slapping Greg Wallace, the pompous twat. I love Masterchef but everytime he comments I mutter 'yeah what do you know anyway? I remember when you were nothing but the presenter of 'veg talk' on radio 4.' I am in love with Michel Roux Jnr though.

Your 'down the pub' category is interesting but I can't actually think of anyone I'd put in it. This is probably as it's been so long since I actually went out for a drink I wouldn't be that fussy. So if they're not in the lift I'm happy to sit and blather with them.

Hello everyone

I had a rubbish morning then a lovely lunch with a friend and am now clocking off early for MW appt.

Hypnobirthing was very interesting and I actually felt abit excited about giving birth . Last night we talked about how tension and fear leads to pain and how our bodies are designed to give birth. We are encouraged to change some of the words that we use surrounding birth such as contractions become surges and pain is pressure or tightening. Waters don't 'break' they release. She said that nothing is 'broken' which implies negativity. Also birth is not automatically a medical procedure. Of course sometimes interventions are necessary and medicine can be marvelous but it doesnt have to be the norm. Obviously there are way too many things to discuss here but we enjoyed it and have a breathing technique and script to practise that DP reads to me while I'm breathing. Bit cringey but we'll go with it and see what happens. We also have cd to fall asleep to. All in all I think that my confidence will improve and if that is the only thing I get from it well that's already quite a lot.

Fairy get you and your perfect bump! That's good news and must be a relief. And one in the eye for all those who made you feel self conscious about it a few weeks ago.

Buzz schoeler sounds perfect. Thanks. Personally I don't drink coke but others might. I think some sparlkley juice and maybe some water is fine.

Twinkle I'm so sorry for your loss honey. It must be gutting. It was my biggest fear starting treatment, that I'd be overwhelmed with grief if it didn't work. But the others have some great positive stories which I hope give you faith and encouragement. It sounds like you had a good cycle it just wasn't the right emby THIS time. I hope it doesn't sound patronising but it will happen for you. I said to my acupuncturist last night I wish I'd believed her all last year when she told me over and over that one way or another I would have my baby. If I'd have listened, not worried, spent less time crying and shouting and more time enjoying being with DP the last 2 and something years would have been much better. But that's the beauty of hindsight. We all have our journey. Take care of yourself. I'm glad you mention being kind to yourself. I think that's the best prep you can do. Good luck honey.

MrsH a girl! How marvellous. the Chinese gender predictor is instilling us with confidence! It says I'm having a boy but if your theory is right (ie the predictor is wrong) then I'm on the pink team as well

Gin yoga sounds great. I'll def come next week.

Expat I hope you mean the jennifer rush version of the power of love and not Frankie goes to Hollywood which I think is a beautiful song!

Mariana I don't know all your lift people. I'd like to add (and I realise I could get shot down for this by fans)....bono. I can't bear him. Smug and self righteous.

Noks I love dec! He is one of my secret crushes . I'm with you on the pool at home. Ours would have to go in the kitchen but it would fill the kitchen. I have visions of DP stepping over me to get to the kettle. Heaven forbid that he goes more than a couple of hours without an earl grey!

Hello to everyone else. I hope you are all ok.

I'm really looking forward to Saturday.

Xx

I will do personals soon as I'm posting in the loo at work and im out tonight but wanted to say thank you all, your kindness has moved me to tears. X

Fairy my bump isn't perfect . I only measured 24cms instead of 25! But apparently they give 3cms either way before they whisk you off for a scan. I'm going to try to grow abit so I'm perfect next time

On a positive note I've bagged 2 lots of stuff in freecycle today. Yippee. What are your thoughts on a breast pump. Should it be new? I know dildals got a secondhand one but hers is celebrity! this is only a manual one and to be honest I bagged the stuff for the steriliser and bottle warmer but the pump and bottles came with. DP has gone to collect them now. To make up for being late and missing most of the MW appt. x

Twinkle we cross posted. We are here if you need to chat. Have a lovely evening. Xx

Thanks ladies! Can I let you in to a little secret? I sort of wanted a boy. Which is utterly ridiculous when you consider the hell and high water we went through to get upduffed. I just saw myself more with a boy - for two reasons really - 1) I was 10 when my baby brother was born - so in my head when I think 'baby' I think 'boy', and 2) My relationship with my own mum has been a wee bit hit and miss. Dildals, was it you who had similar relationship with mum issues? But, in the last couple of weeks I've spent a lot of time preparing myself for a girl, given that my DH is the only boy in a set of 7 cousins, and visualised what she would be like, what we might call her, what she might wear. And then on Saturday, I saw a three-ish year old girl run down our street into the arms of her Dad (who'd only gone out to buy a paper!) screaming "Daddy Daddy I love you!". It brought a tear to the eye! And when they said girl yesterday, I was fine, and today, I'm excited, and hopefully tomorrow I'll have got my head around it even more! Just so relieved she's healthy. And leggy. That's got to be good right?

Twinkle - I tried a different protocol with each of my FETs. The first, I down-regged, then took oestrogen. With the second, I went straight onto the oestrogen. The third was a natural cycle, with clexane and immune therapy added in. I don't know what element made the difference, or if it was just luck. I suspect just luck, but if we ever try for a second I'll see if I can replicate the conditions of the third! Do try to stay positive. It's desperately hard when you pin all your hopes on each cycle and when helpful doctors and nurses tell you that your chances of success are really high, but you must keep going. Well, for as long as you want to anyway. Plenty of things to try yet :)

Gin I thought I had a name picked out but DH tells me otherwise! I fear we could be in for several arguments yet!!

Mariana - Tracy Emin - definitely. She needs a good bath. And thank you - I'll be coming to you for tips on raising daughters!

Expat I can't BELIEVE you are 35 weeks!! Amazing!!

Noks I think water birth is a great idea. Apparently only one step down from an epidural on the pain relief front (although it probably is the world's steepest step down). Will keep my fingers crossed that the pool is invitingly empty when it's your go. I have heard of lots of women making do with their own bath but they say to try and be as active as poss until you're 5cm dilated so as not to slow things down, by which point you'd probably want to be in hospital anyway?

Shazz it sounds like our two hypnobirthing classes last night were almost identical in their syllabus! Have you got the book to read and CD to listen to? I too found it brilliant and am determined to do my homework. We watched a video of a women's labour (did you watch the same one I wonder?!?) and although you could tell she was experiencing discomfort, she was quiet, controlled and smiling between 'surges' (see I'm practicing already). I am going to visualise HER as I move forwards!

MrsHY congrats on the scan. I get what you mean about having a girl...I was never unhappy to have a girl but always saw myself as more of a boys mum really...I have lots of male friends and am also not super close to my mum. Having said that I now couldn't imagine it any other way...I still hate pink but quite love having girlie time with my daughter who has a different relationship with me and with DH but I actually think that's quite nice. She'll be an absolute doll by the sounds of it!

twinkle have you seen the marigold hotel thingy film? There's a line in it which we try to live by re IVF: everything will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, it's not the end. It is such a mammoth journey that every stage feels like the end, especially after a failed cycle (I've had a couple), when it is probably actually the middle. Not being able to visualise what is going to happen in the future is totally frustrating and the hardest part I think, always feeling back at square one, but every cycle gives you and the docs some kind of progress in knowledge.

mariana I hate that Coren woman so much! A strong word I know but fitting I think. Could I please add a few people to the lift...that Jimmy Doherty(?) bloke who does random TV programmes for no reason, Eammon Holmes and his wifey, Nina off of the Neurons, and I second Gove, Allsopp and Tommy fucking Zoom. Too all those who are currently not cbeebies-subscribed, just you wait...

Whahhhh just realised that expat is 35 weeks.....how exciting!!

A slap and a good bath, MrsHY. As somebody who has just been bitten by their daughter whilst forcing her into the shower as she was so utterly filthy I am giving parenting advice to nobody!

Expat time is flying! Well it probably isn't for you but you're very nearly there.

Shazza, they're all sterilised anyway so it wouldn't bother me. A manual can be essential if your supply isn't matching your baby for whatever reason and you need to pump a bit off to relieve the pressure which can be very painful. Especially at 4am when you can't use an electric one due to the racket.

A resounding yes to Bono. Dear god he's an arse.

Apparently hypnobirthing can be so successful that midwives don't believe labour can be as advanced as it is and are taken by surprise as the woman is so calm! Guilty snigger at waters releasing though. How do they describe you pooing yourself in labour?

On that jolly note I'll wish you all a cool night. It's 26 degrees here and I've got Trenchlet just in a nappy. Winter babies must be easier!

PLEASE can we have a cool night? I have felt decisively dodge today. Just light headed and faint - all Victorian last . Not helped by the muppet service that is South-West Trains. I am not meant to have hot baths or saunas so I am hoping 45 mins in a cattle car hasn't harmed Valembie (LOVE the name Nokkie!)

Must check out the Chinese gender predictor. MrsH I understand how you feel to. Before I was PG with DS I would have told anyone who would listen I wanted a girl first and would really not want a boy as I would hate (yes, I said that) two boys . This was when I though getting pregnant was via a good (or any sort of) shag so two would be a breeze. The second I was pregnant I couldn't have cared less. This time round I have a slight preference towards another boy. I guess having one already but I love the idea of brothers growing up together.

Nokkie I had a major panic before DS that I would not get into the MLU (6 beds) let alone a WB. Turns out it was me and one other woman in the night I gave birth. At one point we had the room I laboured in AND the WB room! Just the luck of the draw. I have to say, to guarantee a WB is one of the reasons I am so keen on a HB this time (that and we have moved and Kingston Hosp has less than glowing maternity reviews )

Mariana I am with you - we did ideal dinner party guests the other day and my response was I would rather have a decent night's sleep - how things change

Shazza glad you liked hypnobirthing. Very tempted to do a course this time. Also a bit tempted >whispers< by a Doula...again the whole idea of a HB. It would have to be the right person or should would be in out lift of doom

Waves at everyone

The reason why I LUFFS Greg Wallace, the fat baldy green grocer, is this:

"Left to my own devices, I would happily munch my way through your lemon tart."

Dirty bugger.

Right, I shall read back and stop being a smutty beast.

just a quick post from me. . . I shall think about lift list

mrsh a little girl I think I'm having a boy but am prepared for a girl, I had a crap relationship with mu mum, but I know I will do a better job than her, not hard really

expat 35 weeks eeeek :)

vall I do know two people who have been to Kingston and were happy, although that is just two

noks and shazza I am keen on a water birth too, not sure where though would love to have a paddling pool right now

ok schleor and juice all round for Sat :)

weather is still looking good

Sorry buzz forgot to say Schleor and juice is cool with me. X

noks too bad if it wasn't tomorrow is going to be hot again i'm not very productive when i'm wilting

vall darling. Get out at Waterloo and go down to the tube station, see the nice man on the ticket office and ask for a 'baby on board' badge. Stick it on your top and glare at people until they give you a seat. Honestly, I also get South West Trains a bit further out but also get them to see friends in Wimbers and Raynes Park and they can be brutally hot. Valembie needs you not to get all hot and bothered on the way home !

shazza you can sooooooo have Bono on thenbus. Supercilious twat that he is. I am fascinated by this hypnobirthing thing and have read loads of anecdotal stories about midwives not believing women are in labour because they are so calm. I rang my midwife today to see if I can chat that through (and to tell her to seal off the birthing pool for a week either side of 28th December on pain of DEATH ) but it would be good to hear a bit more on Saturday.

Oh and by Christ on a bendy bus, I forgot to stick Michael fucking Bubble on the bus. He is such an arse get back to the point

crisps hello love ! How are you doing ? Are you 18 weeks yet ?

mrsh I hadn't heard that about a water birth but it has made my mind up even more. I will be gutted if I can't have one now !

Hi to everyone else !

Noks xx

Helloooo noks (you know I always almost type norks instead, 'pologies ) sorry forgot you in my last post. Yes, 18 weeks tomorrow which makes you about the same I think? Still can't bring myself to buy anything at all yet but have a huge list of baby names (even longer due to mariana's suggestions, she is v good if you need help! Need to get things ready in case of an early arrival but not sure when I'll feel ready. Fuck it, I think, there's a kiddicare about 15mins from the hospital, I can always send Mr Crisps out if needs be!

Water birth sounds great. I had a really positive experience of birth last time but found the maternity ward afterwards horrific. Despite having a stillbirth as well as my Dd and losing so much blood I needed a transfusion, not one nurse checked in on me between 8pm and 10am, and when I got up with Dd in search of milk I was told off. Was so tired I could really have done with DH there to look after me...I think Ill insist this time or else discharge myself. I think there should be more about what you want from aftercare in the birth plans, it's important! HB sounds lovely...my neighbour had her Dd at home and we didn't even hear a thing. I think if you're medically in a position to go for it and not a million miles away from a hospital 'just in case' you should go for it!