Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

buzz my frigging electric whisk has broken - terrible timing !! Anyway.....I am really pleased for you and mini bee. My rascal also wasn't terribly co-operative at my 12week scan either ( until I went off and had a hot chocolate - then he was jumping about all over the place. Greedy little bugger !). Really great news. Try to relax and enjoy Barry's gourmet feast !

X

buzzy brilliant news, I'm so pleased you saw mini buzz and all was well today. (Glad to know I'm not the only one contemplating an extra scan in a month or so :-) )

sweetie hope all was well for you today too.

noks was the marathon baking day successful? You must be melted and knackered.

gin it's hard enough getting to sleep at all in this heat, no fair being woken so many times. Have you any tips for getting rid of night-time leg and foot cramps? I'm prone when un-pregnant, and hot water bottles usually work best for me but I don't think I'll be trying that in this heat.

noks we cross-posted.

That sounds a bit of a blow!

ceara it's a proper pain in the balls. I am ashamed to say it but ready made icing will be coming my way in the morning. I have all those cupcakes to ice and have to do it super quick. Shopping for a sodding whisk is NOT on my agenda !

Evening All!

Am having a quiet evening at home. DP has gone out with some friends but I ducked out, I'm too tired and just want to be at home.

I'm catching up with all your goings on.

Buzz Wonderful news. I'm so glad that your scan was good. Hurrah for the minibee. I hope that Barry's dinner was delicious and you are feeling happy and relaxed together this evening. I hope the UTI is a bit better. Re maternity wear. My first shopping trip was also awful. I was so disappointed. I resorted to ebay and got 3 great dresses for a grand total of £12 and a couple of tops for about a fiver. I did get some jeans but neither pair fit so I resold them (for a profit!) I got so fed up on not having anything decent to wear so we went to JoJo Maman Bebe and I got a lovely pair of jeans and cropped black trousers for £29 each. not cheap but not too expensive. These few items have seen me through up until now. My next purchase is going to have to be a swimming costume I think.

Fairy did you ever think you would see the day when you thought it was ok to 'only' bleed from the back door?! Sweet that your little bean is being active and amazing to feel her spine. Shazlett is also jumping around and I saw her move my belly yesterday. I tried to video it.

Vall great news on your results. The waiting for the early scan is endless.

Crisps I'm so pleased you have a lovely consultant. it is important to feel supported. Weekly scans? Wow.

Sweetie I don't have any calcium supplements from the midwife. Did she give you them for free? I'll ask at the next appt. my acupuncturist said that reflexology is excellent in the run up to birth. It is good to have something to help relax. I've never had reflexology but I'm going to book in for the last few weeks. I hope that your MW appt was ok. Did you hear the heartbeats?

Keep Don't worry about trying to hear the heartbeat on your own. I was also tempted but have read loads about how difficult it can be to find it on your own. Look how long it takes the MW. If Kip is moving around then I'm sure thats ok. The sweet young lad today didn't really say much. I woke up with a start and said "Oh my goodness I'm so sorry" and he just shrugged and said "thats ok". He must have been about 13. how embarrassing!

Noks Oh no about the whisk! What a nightmare. Hurrah for instant icing to save the day. I hope your cankles held up for the bakathon. mine are still huge this evening. In fact I feel enormous today. Mind you I have just 'tested' 2 pieces of the cake that I baked this evening.

Ceara I get a lot of foot cramps. I just have to massage my foot and try to stretch it the other way. it is painful though. I feel for you. What does Dr Google suggest?

Gin Sorry you had a rubbish night. Glad you can feel Ginster. It is reassuring isn't it? Our midwives are having a picnic on the Common tomorrow. We get to meet the team and other expectant parents in their care. Shame you aren't under their wing as well. I've baked a cake for the occasion.

Hello to everyone else. I hope that you are all gearing up for a nice weekend.

I'm looking forward to my first day off in 2 weeks tomorrow. I'm getting my hair done and then have our MW picnic. DP and I have earmarked Sunday as date day. I'm looking forward to us spending some time together as the past couple of weeks have been crazy with me working loads.

Have a lovely weekend. I hope you all get a good nights sleep with not too many trip to the loo!

What a nice idea (the picnic), shazza. Hope you have a good time and keep cool.

Buzzy, lovely scan news! Hope you're a tiny but relieved for now.

A banana a day stopped pregnancy leg night cramp for me. I rarely even want to eat bananas but made myself eat one for a snack, instead of 12 biscuits.

We went to the seaside yesterday, it was mighty hot, even when a small boy threw a bucket of water over me in the paddling pool and I had to walk round in wet clothes for an hour or two. I told him not to throw water over DD1 (she is a timid child and I'd only just coaxed her into the pool) so he threw it over me instead. The little shit.

Trenchlet was very hot yesterday, she slept a lot but was feeding a lot inbetween so I hoped that was keeping her hydrated. She then miraculously slept all night in her cot last night only waking once for a feed at 4am bless her. I feel great, all fired up to tackle my slovenly home...

shazz you sound as though you have a lovely weekend mapped out. A chance to unwind a bit and recharge after a manic few weeks by the sound of it.

DH and I haven't seen much of each other the last week or so due to work, so also planning some time together tomorrow (he's had to go into the office today) and curiously, maybe a picnic.

noks thank goodness for 24 hour supermarkets and labour-saving products! Hope the day was saved.

Mariana I had forgotten about bananas for cramp. Thank you. It is something to do with boosting potassium levels isn't it? Or is it magnesium for cramp? One or t'other anyway! I can't abide bananas, but maybe needs must. I shall have to hold my nose and keeping my hands out of the biscuit barrel would probably be good for me as well

crisps I've relied on the medical professionals to keep my spirits up about the odds being on our side, not talk down our chances. Paranoid IVFers are world class at negativity, I think the injection of perspective and reality that we actually need from our midwives is to be told the odds are on our side now, not reminded things could still go wrong like we don't have that in our minds every day. If your midwife knows your history I think that's pretty poor to be making those sorts of comments.

buzzy hope you are still feeling some positivity from the good scan news and that that feeling stays with you for a bit longer. How is the UTI, are the antibiotics doing their work yet?

juicy, vall, nook, other early scary weeks people, hope all is well with you too.

Hi to everyone else, hope you enjoy the weekend and the glorious weather and aren't suffering too much from the unseasonal summery weather.

ceara hope Mr C comes home from work soon and you have a lovely day! Mr Gin seems to be permanently plugged into the cricket at the mo, so although he's about, he's not really!

shazz i'm really jealous of the MW picnic. What a lovely idea and great way to meet other pregnant ladies in the area. And cake mmmmm. I'm going to try out one of the local preggo yoga classes next week, in the vague hope it helps my back and I'm hoping I may meet some nice people too.

Yayyyyy buzzy! So so pleased for you. I can imagine how emotional it must have been, but it's great that all is well with this baby. Is Mr B excited now? Have you already told people?

nok am super impressed at you whipping up lots of cakes. I'm crap at cake making, which is prob a good thing with the thunder thighs I've grown during pregnancy!

keep are you heading back to the uk soon? I was tempted to buy one of those cheapo home dopplers but some one on here said about the stress they cause if you can't find the HB, so I've resisted. I guess now I can feel the ginster I should assume there's a HB!

crisps weekly scans? Am . If I was loaded I soooo would!

sweetie how was the MW appointment?

mariana thanks for the banana tip. I used to eat a lot of them but went off them with the MS. Will give them a go now. I hope you are managing to keep yourself hydrated as well as trenchlet. It's a bit cooler here today, so hoping trenchlet has some cooler weather too.

I can't remember who had the pessimistic MW, but I can't believe what she said! The consultant was v clear when we saw her that the 12 week scan is a huge milestone and that I should be much more relaxed about things now. That is what we need to hear, not about the slim chance something might go wrong.

Having said that, 2.5 weeks until my next scan now, arghh! Am feeling surprisingly nervous as it's getting nearer. I think the whole protein in my wee thing has made me aware of how much there still is that could go wrong. Btw mariana it was comforting to know you had it too and that your baby is just fine. They aren't investigating as they don't think it's significant at this point in the pregnancy (and my BP was fine).

Am really looking forward to our meet up. It'll be lovely to meet some of you in real life.

gin which class are you going to? I was thinking to try Kathleen something or other. The MW recommended her. Apparently she is really knowledgable and super nice. I'm not sure of the times of the classes. So I'll check it out and let you know.

Mariana that's great that you are feeling good and well done trenchlet for sleeping through. She is doing better than me in that dept at the moment.

I hope the ready icing has saved the day Noks.

Crisps I forgot to mention yesterday id love to know your latest names. We are still no closer. I've given up discussing it and am quietly compiling my own list.

ceara yes the anti biotics seem to be working they are only 250mgs of amoxil, I most certainly will be booking in another scan :)

shazza thanks for the advice on the clothes, I have bought a nice top from phase eight{not sure how long it will fit me for} but have also looked at Ebay. Work tops are cheap so can get bigger sizes as needed.

gin I don't really want to tell people, I feel this is such a person thing now that I don't really want to share it. I can't stop Barry from telling people and putting up scan pictures, I have told the women I chat to from the miscarriage boards as I feel its only right to let them know first, maybe at 20 weeks I'll tell people

mariana at the seaside,I miss the ocean, what a little shit with the water

noks I would have happily lent you my old whisk, I've had since my student days but its still going strong

Just had a guy come round and measure up our windows, can't believe I am excited about double glazing does this mean I have reached middle agedom ??

Yes potassium I think ceara. I wish they weren't so stodgy though. Bleurgh.

gin, they said as my bp was low and the lab said no infection the protein was just 'one of those things'.

Crisps, regarding 'realism' from professionals, my odds for a successful pregnancy with Trenchlet were not great compared to an ordinary 39 year old but I felt very patronised and as if my fears (based on experience) were not being taken seriously if someone said 'all looking great, will be fine.' I was happier with a neutral approach as I couldn't bear hearing things like 'after your 20 week scan' with an assumption it would be ok. However, downright negative would have really upset me. The professional should judge whether the person wants to hear positive comments or whether they should be more neutral and histories should absolutely be taken into account. (Professionals used to read mine and grimace.)

I love baking and have some cream in the fridge that's about to go out of date so I might have to make a chocolate cake with it... Oh my thighs though.

Buzzy, I've just been browsing pastry forks FFS. I win on middle age.

I didn't tell anyone at work until after my 20 week scan. Except my boss and officemate whom I told after I'd got my clear CVS results at 14 weeks. I only told friends if I actually saw them. People probably thought I was a bit odd but they also knew my history so hopefully that explained it.

Glad all was well buzzy. Don't think scans will ever be easy but I do find it easier to relax for a couple of hours after one.

Im not planning on having weekly scans. I am trying to stick to four weekly which is what the hosp want, and will then have any more if I feel I need them. Paranoia of the week is that one bump is at the front on my bottom part of my bumpand squirms around in the morning, and the other is up top left at the back, so can't be felt. Mw swore there were two separate hbs but I almost refuse to believe Doppler results; when I lost dd1 fuckwit GP said there were two and there weren't. Was sure I felt some top back squirming this morning though...so am planning to lie in the same position again to see if I can feel any more. I'd do a bloody handstand if it meant I could feel anything. I know from previous sans that one is tucked away up there but still worry. dildals did you feel one more than the other at the start?

shazza will send you our new names. Am getting seriously into wierd and v old fashioned names though, be warned! Mil already hates anything we like, so am going to keep it a secret and enjoy a guilty chuckle when we choose and there is nothing she can do about it!

mariana I would probably be unhappy if mw was blissfully confident too. In fairness the poor woman probably can't win! I have a friend at wk who was ivf-ly pregnant...we've been kind of supporting each other through. She wd be 13wks today but went for a scan yesterday and learned she had mhad a mm a few weeks ago. Am so devastated for her, this stuff is truly horrific. Am getting close to the point where I lost dd1 now and paranoia is setting in. Am hoping to distract myself if at all possible. When did you all start buying the odd thing? I'm worried that I will just never be able to.

Have just had a lovely day out followed by some super house cleaning...sad I know but at the moment mess really annoys me...is this normal for anyone else?

crisps, It never got much easier for me and although I did buy a pram because it was on offer and a now or never purchase. I hid it in the garage. I didn't buy anything else until about 36 weeks when I bought some nappies and I always felt like I was tempting fate. It's absolute nonsense though, there's no such thing as fate and as had become customary to say here, that purchase would be entirely irrelevant anyway should it all have gone wrong again. I would say buy things if it makes you happy but not if it causes you distress, either at the time or later on.

I think you're right to avoid weekly scans, just too stressful. I was offered them but then went the other way and only had a couple of extra ones. Sorry about your friend, it's awful alright, I find it hard to be properly supportive because the truth is that I didn't feel anything other than awful until I had Trenchlet.

I'm very curious about your weird old fashioned names though, would you mind pm-ing them to me too? I suspect we may have similar tastes (and I'm being nosey!)

buzz I'm so pleased all was well at the scan. You sound a little flat - I was the same. I thought I'd be excited at telling people etc but in fact I suddenly felt all private, and weird saying anything. Anyway, do it in your own time.

gin I was just trying with a stethoscope, not Doppler. Obviously all is OK, as I feel thumps all the time now, but it would be fun to hear.

crisps sorry you're getting stressy as you get close to that awful time marker. I hope it'll get easier when it has passed. It must be hard to distinguish between the twins' kicks, as mine moves round lots, so I assume they can as well, even if more cramped.

Well, I'm going home tomorrow night. Have managed to get pink today, ffs.

Have a safe journey back keep.

Hello all! I was wondering if I may be able to join you?

Come in and make yourself comfy maybe.

keep safe journey back

crisps that midwife should be bitch slapped into next century. What a spectacularly ill judged way to treat you.

shazza so, how was your date with Mr Lover Lover ? I do hope it was boombastic

Hello to gin ceara mariana dildals buzz sweetie vall nook and all the other lovely lurkers out there. Sorry if I've forgotten anyone.

Hi maybe welcome! val and nook are in the early days with you, scans on 8/9 August I believe. How you doing?

crisps TBH I can't tell them apart. I know that I am feeling the kicks and jabs on the left hand side of the bump and that I occasionally get a bump sticking out (a baby bum perhaps?) on the right. It must be to do with placement of the placentas I figured. At my next scan I am going to ask the sonographer to explain to me exactly how they are lying. This also makes it easier for MW to find heartbeats. As long as I feel sufficient movement I am happy that both of them are still beating the crap out of eachother. I agree with you on the Doppler though, half of the time I think MW is just listening to the blood flow thru the umbilical cord .... Again, as long as I feel sufficient movement I am not too fussed about these HBs.

crisps oh, and yes to the house cleaning!

Thanks Nook

Hi Keep . Have a very safe flight back!!

I need to call the clinic today to arrange my scan, but I think it will be around the same time as Val and Nook!

Morning all, very very very early morning ... - moan alert - I keep getting woken up in the middle of the night (3.30 middle of the night ...) with this pain on the RHS of my rib cage, I think it is one of the little mites stretching out and compressing a rather tender internal organ against my ribs in the process. In the beginning I could get rid of it by regularly changing sides, but now there is no position that is comfortable, apart from sitting up or on all fours, neither position is conducive to getting a good nights sleep. I have given up now getting back to sleep. The both of them have a tendency to go absolutely bat shit crazy around this time as well, kicking and punching, madness.

I took a paracetamol this morning and that actually helped, but I still couldn't fall back asleep.

• end of moan -

We have returned yesterday from a cracking week in Dorset. It's just that little bit cooler on the coast and a dip in the sea is just the best way to cool down anyway. It was too hot for me to do lots of walking anyway, so we just lazed around, read books, went for swims and slept. Just what I needed. Plus a bit of DH bonding time, no visitors (although there was some talk of visiting people, but I think my face said enough).

The bump has now grown in to this tanned torpedo shape. Oh dear. I did love showing off the bump on the beach but am worried this will be the last time my belly will ever see the beach, after this it will be firmly encased in a shapewear bathing suit ... I spent one evening looking a bit too much at www.theshapeofamother.com and googling tummy tucks as a result. I did not sleep well that night ...

On Thursday my mum is coming over. The nursery is nowhere near ready so not sure what we are going to spend our time on. I have my 28 wk scan on Friday so she'll come along to that and I have booked a 'nursery tour' at John Lewis on Thursday, where they explain all the baby stuff equipment, no pressure to buy, apparently. There's a mamas n papas closeby to there as well, so we can have a baby related shopping trip.

Oh and on Wednesday I am going to sneak out of WFH for an hour to look at a nursery closeby.

DH got me a great book for my birthday by the way, Raising 21st century girls. Now I feel guilty for looking at nurseries though, because I should be at home looking after them until they're three apparently! That all sounds wonderful in theory but am afraid that I need to bring in some mortgage money too!

Have a lovely day all, and hope it doesn't get too hot today!

Oh Dil that sounds incredibly uncomfortable. But your holiday and nursery plans sound amazing

Morning ladies

Welcome maybe. Settle in and get comfy. We are all here for the duration to help eachother. Congratulations on your bfp.

Buzz I'm glad the antibiotics have helped. Don't worry about the pressure to tell the world. Enjoy this private moment. I loved having a secret although TBH I'm also enjoying the support and excitement at work now.

How was the choc cake Mariana? I'm tucking into way too many slices of the cake I made on Friday!

Crisps I feel for you approaching this difficult time. It must be very painful. And how dreadful for your friend. It was something that I was so anxious of before each scan. Poor woman. She is lucky to have you as a friend at this time. I don't share my names with either parental unit. They are much too judgemental. I try to imagine this big announcement once shazlett is here but given that we haven't agreed on names yet I don't dwell on it too much. Re cleanliness DP has suddenly stepped up since our 'talk' the other week. I come home everyday and he has cleaned something else. I'm in clean flat heaven at the mo!

Keep safe journey back. It must be weird for you and I hope the adjustment isn't too much of a shock.

Noks how were the cakes in the end? Our date was a picnic in the park. It was nice although loverboy fell asleep. Nevermind. It was supposed to be relaxing for both of us. We needed the quiet time.

Dildals. Ouch. That sounds very uncomfortable. I hope it doesn't continue for the rest of the pregnancy. Your bump sounds beautiful. What a lovely holiday. What swimsuit did you choose in the end? I'm going to get one. I don't swim much but might have a dip on holiday. Enjoy your nursery shopping with your mum. Even if you just browse. I'm also already dreading the return to work and I haven't even stopped yet.

Expat you must be on countdown now. How long is it to go? So exciting. We will have a new little one to keep trenchlet company.

Hello to everyone else. I hope you had a good weekend.

Afm luckily seeing the physio this afternoon cause my back is sore again. The midwife picnic was good. When we first arrived it was abit of a shock to see loads of parents, babies, kids, pushchairs and pregnant ladies all in one place. It felt like we shouldn't be there and someone was going to rumble us and say why are you here? You're not pregnant! But nobody did. In fact people asked me when it is due and how I'm feeling. Gosh I'm in their gang. I'm really pregnant and going to have an actual real live baby

One lady told me that her invaluable advice is to go to milk spot meetings. Apparently they are all over Lambeth (not sure about elsewhere. I haven't had a chance to look it up yet). They are free help groups for breast feeding and she said they are amazing.

MrsH thanks for the pm re meet up. For some reason the app has decided that I can't reply to pm's so ill respond whilst on a computer. I think you can pm more than one person. I'll start to organise the meet up on the 3rd.

Have a good day.

X