Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Juicy absolutely everything crossed. My red bleed was at 5+4, there was a clot behind the embryo which continued to spot after that up to 11 weeks (re-read my pregnancy diary last night)

Oh Expat, do share

There is a babby!! A little peanut babby! I've got a photo and everything - its little heart was going like the clappers The nurse said the womb looks 'fantastic; a really clean, strong shape' and baby is nestled in very snug and high up in the uterus. She said there is absolutely no bleeding around the sac which leads her to believe it was never twins and that the whopping great beta levels were just, well...high

Thank you for your lovely wishes. I am so very grateful to you all xx

P.s..another scan in two weeks....for free!

Yaay! One healthy baby is brilliant news, and so good to see a heartbeat this early. And a reassurance scan in two weeks is great news too.

Well done the little embie. I'm so pleased for you both.

WWoooooohooooooooo!!!!!!!

Aw that's great juicy. I hope you can relax for a bit now.

Expat, I reckon I could give you a good run for your money over worrying until the last second of pregnancy (before seamlessly going into newborn worry mode!) I'm not prepared to write any of it down either, lets just say the was an extensive collection of extravagant fears!

Juicy I am so pleased for you, only 2 weeks until the next scan too

juicy congratulations!

My mum has sent me a package with baby stuff she's accumulated on my behalf ... any tips on what to do if your mum has awful baby taste!?

A while ago, for my first pregnancy that miscarried, she bought this knitted clown ... seriously ... first of all, everyone knows that clowns are SCARY! Second of all, it was the ugliest cuddly toy I have ever seen! It may have had an unfortunate accident ... ;-)

She's coming over end of July so may have to show her some nice stuff ;-).

Thanks ladies Dildals, I laughed at your post 'cos my mum is very likely to buy some, erm... enthusiastic-looking clothing for the baby. I intend to set my stall out early and tell her that headbands of any colour or variety are banned, as are denims until the child is, like, thirteen and absolutely nothing pink or trimmed with that fluffy stuff.

I think toys are different in that nothing is 'shameful' if baby likes it

I think it is your responsibility as a parent to dress kids in bad clothes taking loads of photos as payback for them when teenagers. My mum is knitting away from 1970s patterns so I dread to think what monstrosities will be heading our way. Bless she means well.

Hello All

Yippee for juicy and her embie. Amazing news.

Expat I'm sorry you were upset yesterday. I guess it's normal to run the gamut of emotions as the due date draws ever nearer. I hope you can rest and enjoy the weekend.

Fairy you have expressed what I feared about Hypno birthing. I could be described as being 'alternative' when it comes to medicine and self help for want of a better word. I meditate, not a particularly diligent practice but a little each day, explore alternative therapies etc. but sometimes there is a sense with these things that if you are not experiencing the benefits of what that particular practice is supposed to bring that you aren't trying hard enough. I remember feeling this very keenly when trying to harness the power of positive thinking and just feeling awful all the time that I was failing cause nothing was changing. Hypno birthing does sound like rainbows will come out of your fanny followed by a perfect baby with only as much pain as nature intended. However I have also heard such positive stories I'm still tempted. But maybe active birthing is more useful. Someone told me about Janet balaskas. Active birthing sounds more, well active or rather proactive. Helping nature on her way.

Dildals I laughed about the clown I'm afraid. Your mum is probably very excited. I think it's a great idea to go shopping with her and show her all the things you like. Then she can see your taste. But apparently grandparents feel that they have a free reign. My parents tell me when they 'break the rules' whilst looking after my niece. They forget that I'll have my own methods and ideas (im trying not to set rules) in a few months that I will also assume that they will respect!

I'm on my way home finally. DP has dinner on thank goodness. My bump feels very stretched and tender tonight. I'm very guilty of touching and rubbing it all the time. I can't help it. I love it xx

sweetie I totally agree with you on the right, nay OBLIGATION, to dress your children, and ESPECIALLY twins, in clothes that will embarrass the hell out of them when they are older. ;-). My mum did it to me. I will do it to them.
I was telling DH the other day about this fantastic photo we have of me and my dad, my dad in full 70s garb, mustard yellow shirt, pointy lapels, brown suit, flares & platforms, me in a white dress with a knitted cap that made me look like I was wearing a white knitted afro. Oh, and a random German shepherd my parents were taking care of at the time. It is one odd, but funny, photo.
And there will definitely be pink and frills. I am desperately on the look out for two pink tutus! Haha. The family tradition of Bad Parenting starts HERE!

shazz my bumps is so painful on a regular basis, all these muscles stretching. Rubbing the top really helps. Now it is started stretching at the bottom. I can't really rub that in public, looks a bit weird. I do love looking at the bump though, I am fascinated. Today it has grown AGAIN. I think the bump looks awesome. Although I do wonder how my poor muscles are ever going to regain their normal shape. Best not to dwell. Also love all the attention you get with the bump, I get so many smiles from random people in the street. I had 2 lorries honking their horn at me today. Not sure why, but I am assuming it is the bump. If it grows any bigger though, I may have to request planning permission for a structure of temporary nature. And install those beeping noises for when I reverse.

Not tutus dildals, please!

I regained a reasonably flat stomach after DD1 without much effort but I don't think it's going to happen this time. One of the most alarming things in pregnancy is the marshmallow / empty carrier bag stomach you have for a few days afterwards.

Have lovely weekends everyone. My sister and I are taking our girls for a picnic by a stream to do paddling, fishing and building dams, I can't wait!

Oh Mariana that sounds like an amazing day. How fabulous. That's what childhood is all about. Exploring and having fun in nature. Splashing in a stream on a hot sunny day is what dreams are made of . Oh dear about the carrier bag tummy although I can see that the analogy is a good one.

I meant to ask you how are you getting on with listen so your children will talk or whatever it is called?

Dildals oh my goodness I'm on the bus going into the office to do some overtime and I laughed outloud at you beeping whilst reversing! That's hilarious. Underneath is exactly where my bump is hurting. It is so stretched. Shazlett is having a growth spurt. I've put on a kilo in less than a week. But maybe it's also water retention in the hot weather. I also find the bump fascinating. In fact I've just got DP to take a picture of me cause I look so pregnant today for some reason. We are going to buy some mudrock (bandage with plaster you can get it in an art shop) and make a cast of it now and at full term. If anyone decides to do it you must put LOTS of Vaseline on your skin and maybe even cling film over the Vaseline before you put the mudrock onto your body. Otherwise you will be in a very painful situation.
Google making a body cast for more info.

Hello to everyone else. Enjoy the sunshine. X

shazza I would still recommend giving hypnobirthing a try, just don't take it too much to heart. At the very least it was quite relaxing to lie down every day and listen to the tape and do the visualisations. Rather like the Vita West recordings I used during the 2ww.

mariana I remember just studiously avoiding looking at my naked stomach for about 2 weeks post birth with DS. Then I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly it all went back. I am afraid this time it won't be so easy, particularly as my bump feels bigger this time. That said, I was at a work related event last night and someone described my bump as "designer" [preen]. Mind you, his wife is currently 28 wks so he has probably had an earful as to what to say and what not to say!

juicy so so happy for you and your babby. Just try to stay positive for the next two weeks.

dildals when I had DS my mother bought about 6 sleeper suits for him that were made out of the most horrible terrycloth polyester material. I never used them because they were scratchy and hot. I put him in one when she was visiting and otherwise chucked them out. I do understand where's she's coming from, when she had me and my siblings polyester was the greatest thing ever because it was cheap, washed endlessly and never wore out. She has never understood why natural fibres have become the ideal again. It's easier just not to bring up the topic with her as I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings.

I think the best preparation for birth is to read up on it, learn some kind of coping technique and keep an open mind. I learned a simple breathing control technique and that got me through the first 24 hours with DD1. Also you're not alone, hospital midwives are generally an excellent bunch and I've always had positive experiences with them.

God, polyester is awful but yes, a generational thing. Mind you, at the other extreme I got given the most beautiful merino wool outfit which is 'delicates wool wash only'. This from a very wealthy friend who does have kids but I don't think she does her own washing. I'll never dare use it which is a waste of a different sort.

What a glorious day today. I even got to do some paddling myself but mostly sat under a tree feeding (myself and the baby!) I hope everyone enjoyed themselves.

Morning All

another glorious day. I'm on my way to work again. Double time today though so that's good.

Oh dear fairy, polyester is grim! The unwanted gifts thing is so hard. I feel bad cause the giver spent money on the item sometimes a lot of money and I feel like I have to say something so that nothing is wasted. The worst example of this for me was that my family got me an art work for my 40th. It was awful and I knew cost Hundreds of £s. I couldn't even just get it out when they visited so I took a deep breath and told them how much i appreciated the thought but explained that it wasn't to my taste. Everyone was upset at first but in the end me and my mum had a lovely day out at the gallery exchanging it for other pieces that I love and it worked out fine.

Tbh I'm more concerned about interfering advice but we've talked about that before.

Glad you had a good day Mariana. We went dancing for an hour or so last night and afterwards shazlett was the most active that she has ever been. It was really funny and DP could feel her loads. Goodness knows what she was doing in there. Maybe it was the charleston that we had just learnt

Have a good day everyone. X

Hello all! It's ginsoaked here, with a bit of a name change. I'm just back from holidays and not looking forward to work tomoz, although am loving this weather!

There's lots to catch up on on thread, which I don't think I can do justice to, so just wanted to say a big congrats on all the scans! shazz your 20 week one sounded lovely and I'm v envious that Mr S can feel shazzlet. I keep making Mr G put his hands on my belly but he can just feel my digestions!

ceara I think you had a scan too, which all went well, yay, and also juicy seeing the ickle flickering heartbeat.

Hope those feeling overwhelmed are now feeling a bit better. I do get frustrated that I can't do as much as normal - I spent an hour weeding yesterday and felt knackered and had back ache!

Although I 'm not looking forward to work tomorrow, I am now feeling a bit freaked out that I only have 4 months left at work before maternity leave! I love my job and worry that it won't be the same once I go back after mat leave and that I'll some how end up having to share my role... Ah well, I'm sure it'll all work out.

Hope you are all enjoying the gorgeous weather. mariana is trenchlet managing ok with it? I'm planning to take the baby somewhere hot and sunny when it's about 7 months, but am a bit worried about how it'll deal with the heat.

Btw didals am loving the image of your girls in their tutus in their pink bouncy chairs :)

gin welcome back from holiday, I'm pleased summer's arrival has minimised the shock to the system for you, though it does make Monday morning harder doesn't it?

I am going to be grouchy and say I'm not liking the summer much. My cat and I are vying for the position of most grumpy, hot and bothered in the household, and for the coolest shade. He is a longhair moggy - not Persian, just more adapted for northern winters :-) - and I am a pale and pasty person, so between us we are spreading grumps and misery.

How are you managing with trenchlet in the unseasonal warmth, Mariana? Your day out yesterday did sound idyllic.

keep, MrsHY, am I right that you must have 20 week scans coming up soon? Sorry if I have lost track and got that wrong - the weeks seems to drag and yet also to fly by so my sense of time is a bit out of whack. spotty good luck for your 12 week scan next week too. I can't believe we are both approaching that milestone already. 12 weeks seemed unattainably far ahead when I joined the thread a month ago and crisps and noks were having their 12 week scans. Doesn't really get any less scary, though, does it?

Did anyone see the article in yesterday's Guardian about 35 years of IVF? Really interesting. It made me a bit teary reading about the pioneering research which I've benefitted from (must be the hormones...!). However, the early years of treatment sounded decidedly grim for thee women going through it - 3 weeks banged up in a portakabin in the clinic grounds, collecting all your wee in a plastic container, egg collections in the middle of the night etc... I'm so very (selfishly) glad it's less gruelling these days. It was also interesting and salutary to be reminded of how social attitudes towards fertility treatment have changed. I know my parents are concerned about negative reactions from others, particularly of their generation, if we are open about having had IVF and the article put those concerns into context. I am still minded to be completely open, though, not least because I'm proud of us for getting through it! But also because it feels important to acknowledge that pregnancy doesn't always happen easily.

Hi gin
Is your new name holiday inspired? It sounds very exotic! Have you got your 20 week scan this week? I think Keep has hers too. Are you feeling the little Ginster yet? (I meant that to be a play on gin not as in the pasty company!). Mr G will feel it soon enough. Our midwife showed us where DP should feel although now he can feel shazlett move all over. At first he had to cup his hand over the top of my uterus which is now just above my belly button. I'm glad you had a good holiday. I know what you mean about it dawning on you that you've not got long at work left. I'd better crack on with my handover manual. Are you still doing the Streatham NCT class starting on 7th sept?

Ceara when do you get your results? How are you feeling? I hope you are holding up ok. In a way it's good that I've been at work this weekend. I don't sunbathe and it's too hot to be wandering around in the sun so I might as well be earning the money. I haven't seen the article yet but will read it online tonight. Thanks for the heads up. I agree that it is important to raise awareness. We didn't complete treatment in the end but are open about having to start. Although not at work I must admit.

shaz, I hope you're finding time to rest and relax, around all the overtime. Did you manage to find time for the bump cast yet? Was it as much fun as it sounded?

I hear you though about air conditioning. I'm not looking forward to hot trains tomorrow but the air conditioned office...mmmm.

Results are Tuesday. I think I'm in denial just now! Someone on the antenatal results threads had her Harmony test at the FMC the day before me and was called back last week for a repeat sample as there was insufficient fetal DNA to get a result. I wasn't asked to return early so I'm assuming that for good or bad, we will be getting a result on Tuesday. Hanging on to sanity for now, just.

I was a bit about hypnobirthing and relaxation CDs but I have warmed to them hate myself for it!

Ceara what tests are you waiting on the results for? I didn't see the Guardian article but I am amazed at how far we have come in 30-odd years. I see absolutely no stigma attached to IVF.

AFM - had brown spotting last night and today. I am really hoping it is implantation bleeding but I didn't have any with DS. I had both remembered and forgotten how truly hideous this time is. I am wishing my life away (and with that DS's, which I hate!). I have a blood test at the clinic on Tuesday. They said that they would probably just do one but I will insist on two so we can see if my HCG levels are doing what they should. I also want them to test my progesterone levels which they don't do as standard....I will be so glad to see the back of this clinic.

Hello all, sorry I've not been around lately. We had our 20 week scan on Saturday, and all was great!! Measuring almost perfectly, moving lots. It's a lot bigger and more detailed than the 12 week scan, and really exciting. We have also both felt lots of unmistakable movement in the last couple of days, so all in all I am starting to think more of the baby, rather than just being pregnant, if that makes sense. My placenta is covering the whole front, but I can still feel the kicks, if that helps anyone else. Ooh, and we didn't find out the sex either shaz. i did try and look but couldn't see anything, really...

gin you aren't far behind, are you? so maybe you're having your scan soon. Have you felt movement yet?

shaz and fairy I looked into hypnobirthing because there was a deal on for 20% off if booked before 20 weeks. But I was put off by the feeling that many women get that pain relief is failure. We also looked at the evidence, and surprisingly even on the measure of women's satisfaction with their birth, there was no difference. Bear in mind that women who have non hypno births have amazing stories too. And I found that lots of the 'oh my hypnobirth was so much better than my non hypnobirth' storeis are from second labours, which tend to be much easier anyway. There was slightly better in terms of women's levels of pain in stage 1. But the claims that some of these places make, and the money they charge, is rather un-evidence-based... Having said that, I am going to research relaxation techniques as I think it may help.

ceara good luck for tomorrow's results. Do you have the NT scan then too? I know how nerve wracking it is, but at least it's finallly here.

oh vallinna I am crossing everything that this is implantation, or something else innocuous. Good luck for tomorrow and just try and keep your mind off it ha ha

spottydotty I think your scan is on Friday. Good luck good luck good luck, and let us know how it goes asap

expat you're over 32 weeks now! :) I hope that you are feeling better. Are you starting to get excited about the birth or are you still in denial? Do you have a date for the section yet?

ceara I read that guardian article and it made me tear up too! I can't believe how hardcore and expensive ivf was in the 1980s. I was also really pleased to see that whenever anyone commented on the article that us infertiles should just adopt, they were eloquently shot down and told to shut up by other commenters!

shazz I'm loving the name ginster for the bean! Hope you aren't too knackered from all your overtime. I'm not looking forward to my commute home tonight as those trains generally don't have air con and I have to stand, despite the badge! I am indeed still doing those classes on the 7 Sept. I'm still meant to be doing a work thing on the 7th, but hope to be able to get out of it.

Hello vanilla, I forgot to say hi to you. Everything I've read says brown spotting is fine, as it's old blood (so could well be implantation or even a small bleed at the time AF is expected), but totally understand how scary it must be. Do you have a 6 week scan booked?

keep ahhh how lovely to have seen mini keep again. I'm so pleased to hear all is well. My 20 week scan is actually at 21.5 weeks on 7 Aug, do a few weeks to go yet. I'm part terrified and part excited.

I think I am feeling movement and have been doing so for a while, although it doesn't correspond with what I can feel if touching the bump. We have a MW appointment tomorrow morning so will hopefully be able to hear the heartbeat then (and I can get her to show Mr G where to feel movement!)

Has anyone else had/got to have the glucose tolerance bloody test? I do as my dad has type 2 diabetes, and I'm really not looking forward to it!