You know your in the final weeks when....

[cupcake78]

You find yourself cleaning out the fridge sat on a birthing ball

Walking round the supermarket you merrily fart away because there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop it.

Every hour you scale Mount Everest (the stairs) to go to the loo expecting satisfaction when all you manage is an unsatisfactory drop but just enough for baby to push on your bladder even more than before.

[forgetmenots]

Full length mirror only tinkypeet. God knows what state the poor beautician found it in, must have been like road kill.

[forgetmenots]

Miggy I'm a bit 50/50 on those - yy to the dressing like a hobo, but I've found weirdly I've been piling the slap on, partly because my skin has gone mental and also I think to make myself feel better - result is I look like one of those weird old ladies with mismatched clothes and clown makeup.

God my DH has picked a winner - gaviscon burping, dribbling, painted lady with a road kill fanjo. My libido is through the ceiling but it's no surprise he is a bit 'tired' sometimes

[Jojobump1986]

Yy to that last one Miggs! I froze stewed fruit in ice cube trays to add to DS's yoghurt & in the process of removing the frozen cubes from the tray I managed to ping one onto the floor. DH was putting DS to bed at the time so I shouted up the stairs that there was rhubarb on the floor. His response: "OK, I'll sort it out when I come down." Totally normal occurrence in our house now! I've even got 18mo DS trained to pick things up if I drop them! He can regularly be heard saying a random combination of 'Mammy', 'floor', 'down', 'fall', 'uh-oh', 'bump' & 'up please'!

[TigerSwallowTail]

I'm 39+6 and have really needed this thread today to cheer me up :o

You go into your wardrobe just to look at all your pre-pregnancy clothes and reminisce.

Pineapples become a staple diet.

You need to clean up the chaos that you've gradually caused in the kitchen throughout the day because you can't stop eating, but you sprawl out on the couch instead with crisps... and then get stuck...

[Steffanoid]

there's nothing left in your DVD collection or sky box that hasn't been watched to death because of pgp/spd and swollen feet you manage to go from the bed to the sofa and thats excercise done for the day.

you can't remember when you last wore socks because it took about 10 minutes just to get one on.

everything is strategically placed around the bed ie phone, drink and gaviscon so you can reach in the night

[TinkyPeet]

My DH used to say 'enjoy your bath love'
Now he just says 'bang on the floor if you get stuck'
Lol

[AbiElizabeth]

"bang on the floor if you get stuck" That made me giggle tinkypeet

[IndecisivePramBuyer81]

Might be TMI but anyone else struggling to reach to wipe after a number 2? Depends what position baby is in but this is regularly becoming quite a feat!

[dizzy77]

Indecisive yes! I started a thread on similar last pg and discovered there are two camps: those who reach behind (who couldn't understand the problem) and those who reached round the front!

I have found a sample pack of moist tissues and have started reaching round the other way to have a quick "polish" and find this helps me feel more, we, fresh. Another one they don't put on the "what to expect" guides...

[TinkyPeet]

Definately toilet wipes! Makes the job so much easier, I get the apple scented toddler wipes from tesco as they're 70p as opposed to £3 for Andrex ones!

[IndecisivePramBuyer81]

I can't reach from behind at all! Can't work out if it's because I have abnormally short arms or just a fat arse v relieved to hear it's not just me! Have been thinking this would be the only time a bidet would come in useful

[IndecisivePramBuyer81]

Is it ok to flush these wipes?

[TinkyPeet]

Yes any of the 'moist toilet wipes' or potty training wipes are flushable, but don't flush baby wipes!

[peskyginge]

I love this!!! Cankles, waddling and feeling like a stranded hippo every time I roll over at night!! And def getting myself some wipes!!

[TinkyPeet]

Pesky I think you might be me! I'm actually gonna turn into a duck one of these days with the waddling! Cankles, well, suprised they can even be called that! And dh refers to me as a turtle stuck on its back whilst trying to roll over, at which time he just laughs at me. Twat.

[IndecisivePramBuyer81]

Yep on a moist wipe mission tmw thanks ladies!

[SixPackWellies]

when random strangers smile at you in the street as you waddle to get your shopping and say 'Good luck'.

[SixPackWellies]

I fell onto my back on the bed putting on socks when 40 weeks with DC1 and got stuck. I waved my arms around bleating 'help. help' while 'D'H pissed himself.

[TinkyPeet]

Ppaaahahaha I can just see that!!

[kittencuddles]

This thread has cheered me up!!

I'm 39 weeks and some of my favourite moments have been:

Checkout lady saying at the weekend- are you sure you should be out dear?

My dear MIL saying- I can't wait for this baby to be born, am sure you're excited but I just can't wait any more! (I answered this v sarcastically).

My dad saying- you've probably got another three weeks yet. Which resulted in me bursting into uncontrollable sobs.

Being irrationally annoyed at DH but missing him madly whrn he's not here.

Finding myself cleaning the freezer instead of cooking dinner as I got distracted!!

[Dillydollydaydream]

Fingers in ears lalala
Can't hear you kotinka

[SixPackWellies]

kotinka DC2 was about 10 days overdue. It used to amuse me immensely in shops when people would ask me when I was due and watch them go white when I replied 'Two weeks ago'.

(Mind you, now when people ask me when the baby will be born I have to reply 'three years ago' :( ) [goes off to re-join weighttwatchers.]