You know your in the final weeks when....

[cupcake78]

You find yourself cleaning out the fridge sat on a birthing ball

Walking round the supermarket you merrily fart away because there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop it.

Every hour you scale Mount Everest (the stairs) to go to the loo expecting satisfaction when all you manage is an unsatisfactory drop but just enough for baby to push on your bladder even more than before.

[forgetmenots]

If this was baby names, you'd get 'Sounds a bit surnamey/chavvy Jojo. I prefer Zantac.'

[LoganMummy]

I agree with every single one of these!

38 weeks and cannot wait for this baby to arrive!

[MrsMargoLeadbetter]

You struggle to care about anything. Diginity, self-respect and what others might think no longer matter.

You bounce vigriously on the birthing ball imagining "popping" your waters to get things going...

[lollypopsicle]

When even the clary sage oil you're sniffing in desperation gives you heart burn

[Livingwithmymother]

You have a very special relationship with the bath tub.

[DXBMermaid]

YY to all of these!

When you get used to the feeling of your cankles

When you want labour to get started but are shit scared of it actually happening

When you are still awake at 03.30 in the morning

When you stop trying to get to your mobile in time as you know you won't make it before voicemail kicks in

When you want to punch people that tell you to be careful when sitting down or getting up

[mildred37]

You're on mumsnet at 1.30am because you can't sleep

[forgetmenots]

Yy, and at 4.45am! :)

[Steffanoid]

yy to all of these, they've cheered me up

most definitely to the knicker checking, even more than when I got that bfp, im convinced everything I pee my waters are going to break!

• having an old lady pull over in her car in the car park to make sure you're ok cause you're in loads of pain and dp is trying the back massage techniques

• panicking at least once a day that the hospital bags and your notes are going to have miraculously moved and got lost out of the locked car boot.

• bring able to open a shop with the amount of snacks and sweets in the cupboard, they make very good lunches!

im ready for this lo to make an arrival now, eviction notice has been served

[cupcake78]

Exactly! Your all so right

I lost count if the number of '8 point turns' last night.

Woke up with the rain to find myself freaking out because dh and I had watched The Fall before bed. Normally something that wouldn't bother me but the serial killer in the night weirdness and hormones worked wonders.

Spent all day yesterday batch cooking, baking and cleaning and then from 6pm I was unable to move. Hips and legs had just stopped working.

[megarobotdiscoparty]

I keep chasing the cats round the house trying to cuddle them. I just want to cuddle SOMETHING cute....if it can't be my baby then you cats had better stay goddamn still while I squeeze you!

[Jojobump1986]

You would've been on MN at 1.30, 3.30 & 5.30 but the mere thought of another 8-point-turn to reach your phone was too painful so you just lay still & sulked by yourself!

You're actually looking forward to sending your PFB to his DGP for just 24 hours & have every intention of either being in the bath or in bed for the entire time.

You feel like a terrible mother for wanting your PFB to go away!

[SmokeyEyes]

At 39 + 4, these post have cheered me up no end. Just laughed out loud in the street

[Bunnylion]

megarobotdiscoparty I lol'ed at that one

[TinkyPeet]

Having lovely shaven/waxed legs actually feels like someone has stolen some of your leg!! ...this finding yourself scowling at people in the playground thinking 'its you, you stole my leg didn't you!' .....yep, it happens....

[dizzy77]

8 point turns! Yes! SPD stiffness at 38 wkd means that every night there is a new pillow/rolled up towel involved in reaching a new "comfortable" (ha!) position. One of those dribble toilet trips takes serious consideration due to the logistical effort.

Checking the clock at any "tightening" in case it's the start of something more regular. And now, laying on the sofa on MN rather than tidying my toddlers' toys/crumbs before a friend visits in 20 mins. The dishwasher needs unloading (and my lunch stuff needs putting away) but for once I'm prioritising feet-up time.

[Bunnychan]

Having afternoon naps and waking up drowning in your own dribble. Lovely!

[DXBMermaid]

Bunny yes that happens to me too!! Woke with a wet pillow and was almost choking on my own dribble.

LOVE the 8 point turn analogy! I'm supposed to DTD tonight, but am completely unsure about how we're going to manage.

[forgetmenots]

Oh my gosh I'm a dribbler too. Woke up with strings of it connecting me and my pillow this morning... Attractive. And it smelled of gaviscon.

[mildred37]

Oh god the dribble....it's such a glamorous time of life.

And the trumps, especially in the mornings...not known anything like it before!

[forgetmenots]

Mine have all been coming up the other way Mildred. They smell of gaviscon too.

[forgetmenots]

Actual LOL at tinkypeet. Same applies for the now invisible bikini line - had a wax and was a bit 'who swapped my fanjo and why is it so cold?'

[TinkyPeet]

Haha, I can't even see my fanjo so god only knows what state that is in, have you tried to actually see it?? I was trying to pull my bump to side and bend my neck around it to see but looks like I'm gonna have to purchase a small mirror!

[Miggs28]

YY to all of the above!!

Having your DSis come over specifically to shave your legs for you as you weren't brave enough to let DH at them!

looking like a bag lady as nothing fits properly anymore other than maternity leggings and DH's jumpers

Realising that you haven't actually looked in a mirror/used makeup/hair brush today and that you are officially beyond caring!!

DH is now in the habit of making his way round the house when he gets home from work and picking up everything that you dropped during the day that got left where it fell!!