Well. This is a surprise. Pregnant- completely unexpected. shit.

[shockerama]

namechanger- know people on here in RL and haven't told DP yet.

Ironically came off pill in new year because I felt that one day I would forget to take it and get pregnant- decide to go onto the Depo-Provera.

Now I'm only bloody pregnant.

Couldn't understand why I kept putting on weight- despite running and dieting, felt that it was a side effect of the depo.

Last week felt some 'flutterings' in my stomach- over this past week have noticed that my stomach is much 'harder' than usual.

Decided to do a PG test today- BFP.

DS1 is 13 in sept and DS2 is 10 in July-

i was promoted last year and this all just awful timing- life was getting easier with the kids- had visions of DP and I being able to actually 'do couple stuff' within the next few years.

im not 'sad' - just disappointed in myself. Thought the days of sleepless nights and nappies were way behind me.

We can just about afford another baby (just).

Going to GP tomorrow to see if I can get a scan because if I can feel flutterings, I'm clearly not 'just pregnant'.

and I can't even begin to find way to tell my best friend- who is just about to start her 7th round of IVF.

Similar story here. Dds were 11 and 9 when Ds was born.
He's lovely but if I'm honest I feel frustrated that I now have 22 and a 19 year old almost independent allowing me some time to start getting a life back......and an 11 year old just leaving primary!
Sorry, that s probably not helping. Good luck.

really stupid dumb question but how the hell do I work out the salary sacrifice thing?

I can't make head nor tail of it.

If we both took the £55 per week (maximum)- how much do we sacrifice?

(may sound stupid but I'm flummoxed)

You sacrifice receiving the £55 in your wages but then you don't pay tax on that £55, it goes into a pot that you then pay your childcare provider with.

So if you both pay tax of 20% you will be saving in total £22 a week if you both take £55 a week.

(20% of £110 is the tax you would normally have paid on that part of your salaries)

And you will have vouchers of £110 a week to spend on childcare.

so for a simple person who needs it as simple terms- if my childcare was £55 a week and I didn't have the voucher deal then it would cost me £55 per week-

If I take the vouchers- in 'reality' its only costing me £33 per week- the £22 is saved through tax?

is this correct?

Congratulations! I know you have mixed feelings about the pregnancy but once you hold your baby you will fall in love and never look back. I just wanted to say that I have ten years between my DS1 and DS3 and it makes a huge difference from the the three year gap I have between my DS1 and DS2. DS1 will push the pram, look after DS3 while I'm in the shower, hold him on his lap watching telly, play with him, etc. It all makes things a lot easier.

shockerama, yes your tax bill will have been lowered by £55 x 20%, you don't pay NI on it either.

So only £11 saved on tax I'm afraid

wow! just read this - bit of a shocker but at least you have had the horrible first 3 months out of the way!

i wish you well - congratulations!

good luck for the scan on tuesday!

I've just seen this too - the very best of luck! :)

Just seen this having also posted on your pay thread. Our Ikea cot is/was brilliant. It's done two of ours and I think three of friends dcs so far (with different mattresses).

Congratulations! I know it's a shock but here's to a happy and healthy few weeks ahead.

To help a bit with costs, sign up to every baby website going...pampers, boots baby club, all the supermarket baby club, bounty, all the formula and baby food providers etc etc. You will receive lots of freebies and vouchers off nappies, food etc. Very handy! Maybe set up a special gmail account for them as your inbox will clog up and check every now and again. Most vouchers come in the post though.

And ikea is your best friend. Along with gum tree or the dreaded Netmuns for local boards (for sale - prams etc)

Supermarkets now rule the baby clothing world. Really lovely stuff and not too expensive. Sainsburys is my fave.

Best of luck! I'm sure you'll be fine

Wow congratulations! I can only begin to imagine the shock you must of felt. Good luck for tuesday

Congratulations!

My sister is 10 years older than I am, she was amazing when I was growing up, still young enough to play but old enough to help out and be independent- I know she loved having a much younger sister, so I hope your boys will too.

Good luck, hope the next three months are as easy as the first few and hope the scan goes well.

congrats

Hi OP, congratulations, i saw your post last week but just didn't have the energy to respond! I got my very unexpected BFP in December, total life changer for me! I have 2 DD age 25 and 22 1 DGD age 2 and another due in october!!!!I really was the girl LEAST likely! I'm now in the final streach (31 weeks today) so much has changed in my life, I've given up work (not that we can afford it but i can't do my job anymore) we've had to totally rethink the next 5 year plan (i won't be sailing solo across the atlantic this year!).I had good days when i thought WOW and very dark days when i could see NO quality of life ahead. i let mother Nature take over and give me the strenght i needed, I can't wait to meet my little princess now. (i cried for weeks & weeks when i found out)
I just wanted to say what an amazing baby you must have, One that really wanted to be born.

re finances, I have been given SOO much stuff.... (and i don't know that many people) i think i've spent about £100 in total and have Everything i need for first 6 months. (maybe will need a few more nappies!!!)

Enjoy your new adventure and remember on bad days........ MNet!

My lord - 24 weeks! Amazing.... Congrats though can imagine a shocker. I hope dh comes round soon (sure he will). My dh didn't take the news of a third too well ( had fertility probs so first was ivf ) and I felt soooooo guilty for so long but it takes two to tango as they say. Now we have a 10 month old and she is soooooooo chilled. I have 3 under 5 so it's a challenge. But at least you have a 10 and 13 year old to make you cups of tea and who can babysit soon. Guess you'll have to walk the marathon.....it all worked out and it will for you. I'd love to have more but being 42 and as you say, puts a drain on the finances....good luck!

Wow roise I bet that was some shock

how are you todsay? :)

Hoping all goes well for you today OP

Morning shock - is today the day of the scan? Best of luck and pleeeease let us know how you get on!

Congratulations,I just saw this.

I had an unexpected pregnancy while on the mirena 10 years ago (dd2 is 9y6m). She was born 22 months after ds who was 24 months after dd1 - I had 3 under 4, an I'd been recommended he mirena as it was "more reliable" than sterilisation because my kidneys don't cope with pregnancy well.

It was a ghastly shock even though I was only 14 weeks when I found out (thought I had a stomach bug!).

It's kind of the opposite to you, I had an extra tiny whilst you're going back to it. But I can say that now my dc are 13, 11 and 9 we're totally glad we had her and wouldn't be without her, despite me being ill for 2 years following her birth.

I hope the scan goes well, will be thinking of you xx

Congratulations, I hope you enjoy the scan today. Are you going to find out the sex of baby? Bet that will make it loads more exciting once you see the baby and can start planning more.

Have you told your other two dcs? Are they excited too to have another sibling, I hope they are. At least this time around you will have three helpers not just dh!

I wish you lots of luck!

Good luck with your scan today