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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Well. This is a surprise. Pregnant- completely unexpected. shit.

232 replies

shockerama · 15/05/2013 20:15

namechanger- know people on here in RL and haven't told DP yet.

Ironically came off pill in new year because I felt that one day I would forget to take it and get pregnant- decide to go onto the Depo-Provera.

Now I'm only bloody pregnant.

Couldn't understand why I kept putting on weight- despite running and dieting, felt that it was a side effect of the depo.

Last week felt some 'flutterings' in my stomach- over this past week have noticed that my stomach is much 'harder' than usual.

Decided to do a PG test today- BFP.

DS1 is 13 in sept and DS2 is 10 in July-

i was promoted last year and this all just awful timing- life was getting easier with the kids- had visions of DP and I being able to actually 'do couple stuff' within the next few years.

im not 'sad' - just disappointed in myself. Thought the days of sleepless nights and nappies were way behind me.

We can just about afford another baby (just).

Going to GP tomorrow to see if I can get a scan because if I can feel flutterings, I'm clearly not 'just pregnant'.

and I can't even begin to find way to tell my best friend- who is just about to start her 7th round of IVF.

OP posts:

Report

xigris · 17/05/2013 18:05

A very similar thing happened to my friend last year: two DSs aged 11 and 10. Absolutely no plans for anymore when out of the blue a BFP. To say she was shocked and upset is an understatement! Fast forward to last November and her DD was born. She's lovely being back to the nappy stage and is now planning a 4th....... I've just had my 3rd and it's great having 3. I'm not trying to gloss over your shock, I think to find out you're so pregnant when actively trying not to must be overwhelming. I really wish you all the best and also think you're lovely to be so concerned over your best friend.
and congratulations!

RandomMess · 17/05/2013 19:28

We have a shower room - just get a very big baby bath

RandomMess · 17/05/2013 19:53

Introducing the folding children's baby bath for showers www.bibabath.com/

TinkyPeet · 17/05/2013 21:50

Just a note to check whether the private scanners have charged you for not going to the scan, when I had mine I had to pay £30 on booking and the other £50 when there, and if I cancelled or didn't turn up they charged the last £50 anyway. Hope they haven't charged you! Xx

windywoo26 · 17/05/2013 22:33

Congratulations! Hope you are settling into the idea. Just thought that if you are 24 weeks remember you need to give your employer your MatB1 form by 25 weeks so you might need to chase up your midwife. Sorry to be so practical but probably something that will not beat the top of your list of concerns at the mo but could make your life easier if you can get it sorted now.

themilkmonster · 18/05/2013 00:46

Wow what a shock! Congratulations. Like others have said, it's so lovely that you're thinking of your friend right now. If she is as good of a friend as you are then I'm sure she'll be happy for you. Good luck for Tuesday x

shockerama · 19/05/2013 10:15

Starting to get more used to the idea now- still shocked and very tearful at times- but suppose thats normal with extra hormones flying around my body.

Looked into Maternity pay from work and as its the NHS for 6 months ill get a fairly reasonable pay but will have to go back to work then- just will not be able to live on SMP.
Nurseries seemed to have rocketed in price since 10 years ago I notice!!

have found a 'room' for the baby- our house is 3 bedroomed but also has a 'box room (but with sloping ceiling) that we use as a study- its not massive but can easily/comfortably fit a cot and some storage shelves (like Ikea stuff) - so this (where I am sat now) will be the babies room for the time being.

This is just weird. I can't believe I'm writing this again!

I can feel the baby moving more at night- its so mad to think that there will be another 'us' in the house around september time.

Right- practicalities though- Ive forgotten everything I need and want to be prepared- what do I need to get between now and september? Apart from a Very Grip on Life.?

(massive thanks for all lovely words btw- I would have been an absolute state without you lot)

OP posts:

LemonBreeland · 19/05/2013 10:25

Wow op just found this. Congratulations! It sounds like you are starting to get your head around it.

Babies don't need much to begin with.

BreeVanDerTramp · 19/05/2013 10:26

Congratulations, hope you are getting used to the idea.

You will need:

Moses basket, sleep suits and vests, breast pads or bottles/sterilisers/milk, nappies/wipes/cotton wool

Pram, bouncy chair, car seat - all this will get you through the first 6 weeks, anything else is an extra.

Your not in NE Scotland by any chance, I'm just about to take everything one could possibly need for a baby to the charity shop this week I'd be more than happy for you to have it

UnderwaterBasketWeaving · 19/05/2013 10:56

A sling! And maybe nappies. I swear that's all DS needed

UnderwaterBasketWeaving · 19/05/2013 10:59

Oh, and congratulations! (Been lurking for rather a long time!)

DowntonTrout · 19/05/2013 11:54

We had DCs 1+2, who were 13 and 9 when I found out I was pregnant with DD2. It was not planned.

Do you know, she has been an absolute joy, she's 11 now and my other two have grown up and left home. I can honestly say that being a parent to her has been so much easier and she is loved (and maybe a tiny bit spoiled) by everyone.

Generally, I have been so much more relaxed, because I was already experienced, the other DCs were able to babysit for us, she has been brought up by the whole family and I have had the time to do stuff with her. The only slight downside was that I did find the tiredness more difficult, being an older mother. It's probably true that I have been a different parent to her, than I was with the other two.

Good luck with everything, I hope your surprise child is as joyful a, and wonderful, addition to your family as DD2 was to ours.

xigris · 19/05/2013 11:58

Good point made by Bree, where are you Shock? we're also sorting out baby stuff now as DS3 is 4.5 months. We have approximately 8million babygroes that we want to palm off find a good home for!

cleverbit · 19/05/2013 14:53

first: congratulations!
second: I don't have much experience with big age gaps as dd1 is only 21 months but I just wanted to say in reply to one of your earlier posts about redoing your bathrom - we have only a shower and have managed just fine. We got a flexibath which we put on the bathroom floor when dd1 was tiny and we now fill up on the floor of the shower so she can splash about without making a mess. There was a slightly akward period when she couldn't fit laying down and couldn't really sit up and we had to shower with her but we're about to have dd2 with no plans for a new bathroom.

shockerama · 19/05/2013 16:34

DowntownTrout- your post is really re-assuring. Thank you - I'm really hoping that the boys help out. Im secretly hoping and praying for a girl (shhh!)

Bree and xigris- bless you both for being so thoughtful in a practical sense! Im in the west midlands unfortunately - but thanks so much for the offer.

Im just off to start a thread about maternity pay in NHS because I'm doing my own head in speculating how much ill get!

OP posts:

shockerama · 19/05/2013 16:35

and cleverbit- thank you also= a bath is now the least of my worries isn't it???!!

OP posts:

xigris · 19/05/2013 17:05

Shock I'm in the NHS too. Before I went on mat leave, payroll sent me a total breakdown of the pay / allowances I'd get while on mat leave. It was really helpful. HR should be able to help you.

RandomMess · 19/05/2013 17:15

Can you start salary sacrificing now to help out with nursery costs?

RhondaJean · 19/05/2013 17:24

Wow. Looking on the bright side, you are having a really short pregnancy - none of that endless waiting.

I just wanted to say congratulations and also, as you work for the nhs, you will probably be able to get Childcare vouchers, which might help a bit with Childcare costs when you get to that stage.

I have to admit I'm a teeny bit jealous..l

shockerama · 19/05/2013 17:32

I can start salary sacrifice now?

ill look into that.

Just measuring up box room for 'furniture/cot'- Ikea is marvellous isn't it?

(getting mildly excited now....)

OP posts:

perplexedpirate · 19/05/2013 17:35

Don't worry about big age gaps. 9 years between my brother and me and we are very close.
In fact I've been on the sofa all day recovering from a night out with him last night.
Good luck!

Mehrida · 19/05/2013 17:54

I work for NHSScotland. They have a fab policy where they total up how much you'd get pain over 9 months inc: 8 wks ft pay, 13 wks half pay and 13 weeks SMP.

They then divide it by nine so you get nine fairly equal payments. I found it made life/budgeting much easier to have the same amount each month. The temptation to spend your ft pay in the first two months then you struggle the following months isn't there iyswim.

Maybe your board/trust has something similar. Either way, onto your HR/intranet for your mat policy pronto!

Ps congrats :)

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Mehrida · 19/05/2013 17:57

(That was for if you wanted 9 months off, they also did the same for six, but I found it made nine more affordable that we thought it'd be.
)

aftermay · 19/05/2013 17:58

I thought over the counter pg kits only worked till 16-20 weeks?

RandomMess · 19/05/2013 17:59

Can your dh do salary sacrifice as well?

Look for what is selling locally on ebay too, even cheaper than ikea

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