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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Sex in Pregnancy - a survey!

45 replies

FoofFighter · 08/05/2013 11:05

I am up for it. [bites knuckles and tears hair out]

He is not, it appears, although he won't say, is just avoiding the issue I think.

We've had sex once since the baby was conceived, last week.

Are we normal? How often do you/did you have sex in pregnancy?

OP posts:

TinkyPeet · 08/05/2013 11:12

I have zero sex drive, so as little as possible lol

Pizdets · 08/05/2013 11:13

I have a stitch and can't have sex at all. It is making me very sad and I have a lot of confusing dreams. I wish we could have sex, this isn't normal!

Your OH is probably scared he'll do some damage, can you send him some NHS/official looking links to reassure him? How far gone are you?

HadALittleFaithBaby · 08/05/2013 11:15

I found out I was pregnant in August. I joked at one point that Wayne Rooney scored more than DH during my pregnancy (she's now 3 weeks old).

To start with, he was nervous but he soon got over that. My sex drive was pretty low in pregnancy thanks to a bad bout of 'morning' sickness and a baby that was pretty low near the end. I'd say we maybe had sex once a fortnight...

Startail · 08/05/2013 11:18

Buisness pretty much as usual, once or twice a week.

DD1 escaped being induced by having sex

Original poster

FoofFighter · 08/05/2013 11:20

We have talked and he insists there's not a problem but there obviously is, am 26wks.

I remember sex/orgasms being fantastic when I was pg with other two (not this OH) and am sad that I am missing out on this. There's only so many times you can do the do yourself before getting bored of it! [wrist strain]

OP posts:

MrsLianeB · 08/05/2013 11:20

I want to do the dirty deed but have been so sore and dry down there (sorry TMI!) that everytime we try its so painful.
Plus we haven't been able to find a comfortable position either, good job we can have a laugh about it and enjoy cuddles and kisses without it being too much of a problem. Although at 26 weeks the end is soon in sight now!

BraveLilBear · 08/05/2013 11:27

I'm with you Foof, sometimes for hormonal hair-tearing frustration reasons, sometimes for relaxation, always for just being intimate.

Sex has massively tailed off... if it happens I'm the one making all the moves. We're averaging once every 4-6 weeks. Am now 29 weeks.

DP has become very high maintenance. We've discussed it and there is a list of reasons for him not being in the mood. Suffice to say after a week of being exceptionally nice to him, including buying him flowers, not disagreeing with anything he said (I often point out realisms in a situation and it drives him mad), making nice meals and doing shed loads of cleaning, finally got some on Sunday night.

Pizdets - I feel for you...

Fairylea · 08/05/2013 11:28

Every day. Up till c section day!

First dc though I went off it completely at 6 weeks!

Meringue33 · 08/05/2013 11:31

Loads! Had v high libido during Pg. Just as well as that has all gone to the wall since LO was born

Original poster

FoofFighter · 08/05/2013 11:35

Bravelilbear, oh I can't be harrised doing all that for a jump hahaha!

OP posts:

Littlemissexpecting · 08/05/2013 12:01

We didn't dtd for first 12 weeks (recommended for previous recurrent mc). Then I had awful sickness till 25 weeks so not upto it.
Now 34 weeks and think we have dtd twice. My libido has gone, I don't find anything position comfortable and DH doesn't seem to mind.

BraveLilBear · 08/05/2013 12:05

Can't even say the end result was exactly satisfying tbh Foof - prob needed some lube to assist (bloomin hormones having a laugh) but the attention was worth it. Next day, we had a lovely day. No arguments, no faff, no stress.

Am praying to any god that will listen that DP will have made the link between the wonderful relaxing day and the action of the night before and realised that it is a cycle and that sex makes me more inclined to not be stressy etc in the first place... But I don't hold out much hope.

lotsofcheese · 08/05/2013 12:08

None here! Found 1st trimester hard, due to previous miscarriages & nausea. Then pelvic pain, zero sex drive (but did have dirty dreams!) - now 3 weeks post-natal after emcs so it'll be a few weeks yet. At the very least.....

Purplemonster · 08/05/2013 12:09

Hardly at all - between about 18 weeks and now (32 weeks) I've managed to nag him into doing it once. He said it 'feels weird' and nothing I say can seem to persuade him otherwise. It is deeply frustrating in more ways than one.

Snowflakepie · 08/05/2013 12:11

With DD, I had no interest at all and when we did DTD, I got spotting and pain so avoided it unless DH begged. So maybe 3 times in the whole pg!

This time, now 34 weeks with DS, there have been no issues and in truth have had so much discharge that very little effort is needed on DHs part lol! At least 2 or 3 times a week up until about 32 weeks, when I just couldn't lie on my back anymore. No other position seems to be satisfying, which is a shame. So now DH is having to make do with once a week as I am willing but don't really get much from it, so am not so interested. Plus I feel like a heifer on all fours, even though Dh insists he doesn't see things that way. I think he's just glad it's not a repeat of last time. It took me way longer than 6 weeks to face it again after DD was born so I'm trying to be kind!

looneytune · 08/05/2013 12:41

I'm 34+2 and we've been pretty regular, in fact most of the time my drive is higher than before I was pregnant (used to be high years ago but having 2 kids has lowered it somewhat).

Wickedgirl · 08/05/2013 13:12

I only 18 weeks with baby 4 so I'm guessing it will slow down as I get bigger but at the moment we are probably doing it 2 or 3 times a week

RuckAndRoll · 08/05/2013 13:15

Glad to see others are saying not at all/very little!

DH is freaked out baby will kick and he'll feel it along with the fact he's just realised that down there and my boobs are not just his playpark but have another use! (26 weeks here too)

MisselthwaiteManor · 08/05/2013 13:20

About once a week here, it was every day pre-pregnancy but I can't be bothered anymore. 32 weeks now and I havent really been into it since the start. DH still wants regular sex, I think he'd still be happy with every day, apart from a few weeks when my boobs first started leaking and he was scared to go near me incase he got milky!

megarobotdiscoparty · 08/05/2013 13:33

none since conception- am now 38 weeks. DH just not interested. highly frustrated as my sex drive hasn't changed at all- possibly increased in fact! i know some men have a real problem with it but feel like a fat old hideous bag and completely repulsive.really hoping things pick up at some point post birth or I'll actually go crazy.

Original poster

FoofFighter · 08/05/2013 13:52

That's how I feel megarobostdiscoparty (cool name btw!!).

I know rationally that some men find it hard (forgive the pun!) and I can understand their reasons and appreciate their point of view, but it just leaves me feeling fat, frumpy, unattractive, and unloved.
He's not a particularly demonstrative person and pretty much the only time I get affectionate intimacy with him is during sex/just after, so I miss that part a lot too. Probably more than the actual act of actually.

OP posts:

Cheffie100 · 08/05/2013 14:36

Gone off it since 25 weeks and wish I hadn't. Feel unattractive and frumpy and not that turned on. Keep making the effort once a week but DH isn't too bothered either. Roll on things getting back to normal

picnicbasketcase · 08/05/2013 14:40

As often as when not pg, maybe a bit more actually.

Kelly1814 · 08/05/2013 14:45

Like Pizdets, I have a stitch, so cannot at all.

Am devastated, I always have a high sex drive so the fact we haven't been able to since 10 weeks ( am now 17) and can't until the baby is born is literally killing me.

I dream about it every night, I so miss it and the intimacy.

Was also advised no climaxes becaus of stitch, so can't even indulge in other things, alone or with partner :(

GingerDoodle · 08/05/2013 14:55

My lord I was horny as hell when pregnant! DH loved it.

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