Who has a glass of wine? No bashing please

[Mamabear12]

I have a glass of wine once a week. A small glass and I feel guilty about this. Although, the midwife said this is fine. With my first I had a glass prob once a month. I was more strict. Also, this time around I have coffee (one cup made at home) every other day. I feel guilty about that as well.

Please list how often you drink either wine or coffee. If you don't drink either at all, no need to post please.

[detoxlatte]

Agree with ChangeName.

Also, each human processes alcohol and caffeine at different rates. Generally, most people can filter a glass of wine without it entering the bloodstream (and therefore the placenta). Not sure about caffeine.

I would have a glass of wine a week (or so), but was never a big drinker anyway. Two mugs of tea a day.

[TinkyPeet]

I have a cup of coffee in my hand or most of the day if I'm honest, but I have always been a coffee addict, I have even 'topped up' with a can of monster if I'm on a late shift (when I was still working) and it has kept me normal an sane, I haven't had a 'drink' mainly because if I was to have a glass of wine, I would want the bottle, same with a crafty half, I would want a few pints lol, so I just don't bother but it hasn't bothered me x

[Xmasbaby11]

When I was pregnant, I had a cup of coffee a day. I didn't drink alcohol at all. My DH is a social worker and has studied foetal alcohol syndrome and worked with many children who have suffered from it. He feels strongly about abstinence during pregnancy and I gave up out of respect for that. I'm not sure I would have drunk at all anyway, although I always told myself I could have a small glass of wine if I wanted to. I never did.

Many of my friends had a couple of units a week, which is supposed to be fine. I wouldn't judge them for this.

[MamaBear17]

I drank decaff tea and coffee all through my pregnancy - I found out that I was pregnant very early on. I didnt drink at all until after my 20 week scan, then I allowed myself the odd, very small, glass of wine (perhaps 4 small drinks across the last 4 months - my midwife told me that with a small glass of wine my body would metabolise the alcohol before it reached the fetus therefore there was no risk to the baby.) I was an incredibly nervous first time mum so I made the decision that I felt most comfortable with.

[chickieno1]

I m 17 weeks with my second, had 1 small glass of wine last Saturday. Probably drank alcohol for about a week early on before pos preg test.

With ds I drank a few glasses but at the very end of pregnancy at special occasions.

In n. America now and wouldn't dream of drinking in public here, probably wouldn't get served!

Gave up coffee 1st jan as a money saving exercise so was easy to stay off it when found out was pregnant. Probably had 2/3 strong ones a day before that.

[FOURBOYSUNDER6]

I did not drink alcohol or caffeine (my philosophy : no nutrients for baby or anything beneficial - only potential harm so what's the point ???) I did not really miss it either , even at wedding or other special occasions .... However I desperately missed my prohibited food !!!! As soon as baby was born dh cooked me a meal full of sea food and pâté and soft cheeses ... Yum !!!! Absence makes the stomach grow fonder. In fact, I think I got annoyed by people 'pressurising ' me to have 'just one drink ' when I was pregnant and I did not want one !! 'Go on, you can have one etc etc ' grrrr

[Cakebaker35]

I didn't know I was pregnant with my DD until around 8 weeks and so had been drinking like a fish on a holiday, then regularly up until I knew I was pregnant, eek, felt horribly guiilty. I then had only the occasional small glass of wine, perhaps once a month, but found I started to go off it later on so from around 6 months I had none. I'm not a coffee drinker but drank tea by the bucket load, but did try to cut this down to 2 or 3 cups a day as I felt guilty when someone I know told me they cut caffeine out completely. So much guilt out there isn't there?!

[Debs75]

I drank and smoked quite heavily before I got pregnant with DD1 I stopped as soon as I got pregnant because I didn't want to take any risks, however small or supposed. I can honestly say I didn't really miss it, I guess I was more focused on having a baby and that drove out any desire. Well that and horrendous all day nausea which only went with having disgusting ginger biscuits all day.

I didn't drink or smoke whilst breastfeeding either. Re the smoking I became one of those awful ex-smokers who hated the smell and would walk away from smoking people. I still enjoy a good drink but I have never drunk whilst pregnant or whilst breastfeeding. I have just had a very long dry spell of some 5 years whilst I had 2 DD's close together with long spells of breastfeeding. It didn't bother me though at all I don't need a drink and can go long spells without wanting a drink.

I don't like coffee either, the smell makes me heave but when pregnant I actually liked the smell.

[ellangirl]

No alcohol, but I drank maybe 5 cups of strong tea a day, plus plenty of family bags small bars of chocolate (also containing caffeine of course) and the occasional diet coke. Perhaps this is why my darling dd is permanently wired and never seems to sleep ha ha!

[TrixieLox]

People shouldn't feel guilty as long as they stick to health guidelines!

I do have a caffeinated tea once a day if I feel exhausted. And who can resist a daily dose of chocolate (also has caffeine in it)?

My ivf clinic think any drop of alcohol is feto-toxic and are very anti any alcohol in pregnancy. So I kinda stick to their advice as it's thanks for them I'm pregnant (also, I'm one of those people who struggled to stop at one glass or two pre-pregnancy, ha ha!) But I wouldn't judge anyone who had the odd glass a week, as long as it's within the guidelines.

As others have said though, it does wind me up when people (eg, my sister in law) tell me I'm being ridiculous following guidelines cos 'people coped fine without these guidelines years ago'. Well, not really cos there were more cases of gestational complications etc back in the 'good old days'!

But overall, as long as you stick to guidelines or, if you do find yourself breaking the odd rule, don't do it excessively so, than no need for the guilt!

[working9while5]

I had a sangria when on holiday with ds2 and resented every second of it. I'd been told I would probably miscarry after an early scan where I was measuring too small and I was really irritated that I could only have one as I fully expected the pregnancy wouldn't last.

It did, but I had a few bits and bobs of alcohol during it. Pear cider here, a baileys there. Not probably one a week but not specifically because I was pregnant, I don't really drink regularly as it is. I had less during my first pregnancy but I did have a few hot wines at Christmas markets and champagne at weddings. I get sick a LOT in pregnancy (to week 29 in both pregnancies) so I bet I hardly ever had any.

Only decaff coffee for some reason - I think probably because I had a notion it was more dangerous in terms of miscarriage and I threatened miscarriage for most of the first trimester so avoided pretty much everything other than that one sangria.

[SolidGoldBrass]

Most, if not all, the 'advice' given to women about what to avoid during pregnancy is about controlling women's behaviour rather than public health. So do what feels comfortable and right for you - if drinking any alcohol at all is going to make you worried and miserable for the rest of the pregnancy then fine, avoid it. If a couple of glasses of wine once a week make you happy and relaxed then ignore the (totally medically ignorant) whinyarses who try to tell you your baby will be born with webbed feet and no eyes or whatever.

And the two biggest risks for pregnant women and their unborn babies are lack of access to good maternity care and domestic violence.

[Rockinhippy]

I'm another who gagged over even the smell of coffee, DH picked up on that & similar with seafood & certain cheeses & guessed I was pregnant - this was very early too - I couldn't bear to even near coffee for the whole if my pregnancy, yet I LOVE my real fresh ground coffee.

I also gagged at spirits, before I knew I was pregnant, I'm not really a wine drinker, so that was never an issue, but I was fine with beer & would have the odd bottle if I went out & I did drink several bottles at my wedding, I figured as I had been so good, letting my hair down just the once would be fine & it was :)

[fibrecruncher]

I'm 24 weeks. The midwife said a glass of wine is ok so have been enjoying one a week, but I've become very fussy- it needs to be good stuff and preferably champagne. DH is French and a fab cook - its just odd not to have a nice glass of wine with whatever delicious dish he's prepared.

I switched to decaff tea and coffee, was just easier to manage and then I could have as many cups as I wanted. Sainsburys does a great decaff Colombian filter so haven't felt at all deprived.

Also quite enjoying the alchohol free beer.

Mamabear12 - I completely understand why you feel guilty - I've felt like there is a lot of pressure around almost all apsects of pregnancy. Whether it's what travel system to buy, or how 'natural' you can make the birthing process. :)

[somanymiles]

Wow, you are all very good at not drinking! I had no caffeine with each of my DC since it doesn't agree with me anyway, but probably a couple of glasses of wine once or twice a week. During the last week with DC3 I had a can of Guinness every night at the midwife's suggestion as I was having so much trouble sleeping. Oh, and I drank more than that while breastfeeding, but never more than 3 glasses of wine over an evening. I did drink non alcoholic beer too while pregnant and found that satisfied my desire for a "drink".

[emmyloo2]

The current guidelines where I live are no alchohol at all. I don't drink at all while pregnant, but then I am not a big drinker anyway. I do have caffeine though. 1 cup of coffee, decaf tea and a couple of diet cokes.

Re the cheese - there was a couple of recent cases of listeria recently in soft cheeses causing one pregnant woman to miscarry. So the risks are there, it's just they are small risks.

[Xalla]

I drink tea every day, prob around 3 / 4 mugs. I don't really drink coffee. I have a glass of wine or a bottle of beer about 3 nights a week with dinner and have done from 12 weeks. I did the same with my previous two pregnancies. I don't smoke.

Everything in moderation imo....except smoking obviously.

[DreamingOfTheMaldives]

I probably have 1 or 2 cups of coffee a day (not fresh, just a decent instant - don't know if that makes any difference to the amount of caffeine). I also usually have one cup of tea in the evening.

I drink a glass of wine once a week. Very occasionally, I will have a second glass at some other point during the week.

I have bottles of Becks Blue which are nice but may have to try the Erdinger Wheat Beer. Wish I could take some bottles of either of these on holiday with me on Saturday.

[VisualiseAHorse]

Good for you BunnyLion!

[RiotsNotDiets]

I didn't drink till I passed 37 weeks, Then I had a small drink at gatherings, so probably three times before DD was born. However I had been on a couple of benders and been smoking like a chimney before finding out I was pregnant at 6 weeks so I's been feeling worried and guilty about this throughout the entire pregnancy. Once she was technically able to function on her own I felt a bit safer and indulged a little.

[BlingLoving]

I am not sure why I post here as these threads are all the same - the people who think any drinking of alcohol or caffeine are BAD and those who think a few drinks/cups of coffee won't do any harm.

But I can't help it! .

I was told by the private doctor who helped me get pregnant that a glass of wine a couple of times a week would be fine and in the third trimester a small glass a night would be fine. As for coffee, I think your body tells you - I went off it completely utnil about 14 weeks then had one small one a day. I refused to stop drinking tea although only had about two cups a day.

I agree with whoever said upthread that as the guidelines are different in different countries if there was any real concern, we'd see much higher rates of miscarriage or other problems in those countries where the wine/caffeine/cheese rules are not highlighted.

SGB has it right - it's all about control. Not just by the "establishment" but every Tom, Dick and Harry who thinks they can tell a woman what to do the moment she's pregnant. No one stands around glaring at people smoking, even though we all know it's harmful, but a woman gets pregnant and every paternalistic patronising person out there thinks its okay to comment. Absolutely infuritiates me.

[Autumn12]

I had 4 or 5 glasses of wine during my 2nd Trimester. Avoided it totally during the 1st (well after I realised I was pregnant, had a couple of big nights out in the very early days before I knew).

I haven't had anything so far in the 3rd trimester, mainly because I'm now visibly showing and feel awkward about people judging me if I were to have a glass of wine with lunch or dinner out.

[Zoep22]

I do not feel there is anything wrong with havin the odd cup of coffee or glass of wine

[RiotsNotDiets]

Autumn I had a small glass of wine in a restaurant at a family meal at around 38 weeks and got glared at by the waiters and the other diners