Mmmmmm. I put a counter argument in - just to give a balance of views here, partic when some new pregnant women may read this. My ten cents:- I spoke at great length to my very experienced Gyn. here (germany) on this - she is an infertility expert and helped me after a year of trying, a miscarriage last year, before I fell pregnant with my little one currently cooking. She said yes there are many conflicting reports, however the fact remains alcohol passes over from the mother to the baby via the placenta, and the developing baby cannot filter it out in the same way. As such there is no known 'safe' limit, since when you have a drink it could be at a crucial stage in the babys development. There are some major known issues with some of the studies - such at the 2012 Danish one, where 51% did not respond - was this because they had drunken, even a small amount, and their children had issues? We have no idea of the real impacts of this - in so much that issues such as dyslexia, for example, could be caused from this (my docs words not mine). I have a friend who tucked into two or three glasses a week - her baby was born with a heart defect. I have another friend who tucked into 5 glasses a week - her baby has delayed motor and cognitive functions, I have another friend, who's mother drank a few glasses each week during pregnancy with her - she has a heart murmur and dyslexia. I could go on. How do we know this is not from drinking in utero? And look at the level of mental health issues in the UK - 1 in 4 I think - how do we know this does not correlate in some way? Where is the proof it doesn't? We know so very little about the brain and cognitive functions in reality. This is nothing to do with standard IQ tests. It is effectively 8 1/2 months give or take - if you are unaware for the first month your are pg (and at this stage it is ok since embryo not yet implanted) - and we have such great alcohol free beer options these days. The same like just don't smoke. The point is yes you must not give your life over to a child - but when the baby is in your womb, there is nothing they can do about it. Once they are out -drink away if you want to - via FF or expressing or feed timing etc.
Anyway for me - I have severe MS throughout so I have no desire for alcohol - and have an alcohol free beer occasionally. I have the odd cup of caffeine tea but mainly de-caff. But I don't judge others who do drink at all - their choice, but I would say something if a friend smoked while pg probably, if anything to offer support to help them stop. But likewise I get a bit upset when people think I am being a bit over top and say 'oh go on, you can you know, it is just to control women this advice' etc etc - no it isn't in my view, and I am not going to ram it down your throat so please don't do the same back to me, kind of like religion I guess. And on the DH aspect - he would have gone with whatever I want, but he was clearly relieved when I said def no alcohol, since it is half his child too - he has also done his research and sat with my Gyn. and heard her views, and I think he has some say in it personally.