Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 4

[rosiedays]

as i filled the last post on old thread it seemed only polite to start the new one. hope i've done it right

To those who have just found this thread, Welcome and congratulations on you BFP. please feel free to join this amazing supportive group of 40+ mums to be. A very nonjudgmental and friendly place to hang out and share your pregnancy.

Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Lotsofcheese, 40/41, DC2 (girl) due May (DS 4y)
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
cyclecamper, 42, DC1 due 14/06
Newchoos, 40, DC2, due early July
Blueeyes1970,42, DC1 due on 8th July
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Rosiedays, 43 DD3 due 23rd July(ish)
ScubaSarah, nrly 40, DC1?, due July 22-Aug 1
Iclaudius,45, due 29/07
LottieH, 44, DC5, due mid August
Sparklysapphire, 44, DC2, due 28/8
BuzzBee, 40, DC2, due Sept
Notsoold, 41,DC3 due end of October
Animol, 42, DC5 due 13th
November

Cycle so sorry to hear that it's appalling that there's not enough space for Mums to stay and feed/ support their LO's. Sending unmumsnetty hugs Hope BabyCycle is on the mend and home again soon.

cycle thinking of you hope you got some sleep last night, really hope you get baby cycle home soon. do you have an idea of how much longer he will be in?
my DD was under the lamp for 6 days when she was born, she got a lovely tan

Blueberry Fx for scan today.
sparkly I've recovered from the trip thanks, I can't believe how uncomfortable traveling in the car has become. I always seem to get lots of BH??
where are you thinking of going for you holiday? i think it makes a big difference, is it somewhere you have been before? do you speak the language? 1st or 2nd world services?? I would not be taking baby to Egypt if i didn't know it very well, speak enough to get by and know i have a lot of support there. I would however go on a camping trip to france or spain. it's so hard to plan now though, so much depends on how baby does once there here. (nice to make the plans though

remember did you enjoy / learn much from your courses? i've never done any! Please dont worry, you'll be fine. you body really is preprogrammed to give birth. women have been doing it for years!! LOL and we are SO lucky in this country. we have acsess to wonderful health servises if any assisstence is needed. My advice arm youself with the information and keep an open mind. No way is the 'wrong way' as long as you have a baby in your arns at the end. x
I'm working on my birth plan at the moment.... mostly a DH to do list which will read like a dive plan (as it's what he knows best!) I'm not really doing it for the hospital but as a prompt and reminder for me. things i want to remember to do.... like breath!!!
happy to share

I'm Officially on ML now (smp started today ) and although i haven't really worked for the last 2 months it feels different now. No presure that i should be working. I don't know how those working cope some days. I have the worst pregnancy brain ever,

Rosie I found the Hypnobirthing classes really good though could have got 75% of it from the book. The NHS AN classes were pretty crap tbh.
I was hoping to meet other mums in the area as we moved here in Sept and haven't met many ppl yet but no-one else was on the Hypnobirthing class (tho1-1 was nice) and the AN classes were done in 2 weeks so no time to develop any bond. Looks like I'm set to carry on being billy-no-mates for a while...

remember i hear you, I'm Billy-no-mates here. we moved up here in sept too. I've never really lived in a city before and hate it. I just want to walk along the beach and hear the sea. The one friend (also an instructor married to an Egyptian 1st ds at 41 dd at 43!) i did have here has moved 30miles away and has gone back to full time work. I did bravely go to a NCT mum's and bumps coffee morning a few months ago (found it on Mnet Local) It was OK and i really should go again but......

So sorry Cyclecamper to hear you are back home minus baby - v unfair the hospital can't accommodate you. I hope he's feeding properly soon and sending you big hugs.

Sparkly love that you will have a holiday to look forward to at half term. You planning to go abroad? I think 8 weeks is doable (am assuming you won't go overdue and so therefore won't be younger than 8 weeks), but a little bit of planning may be needed for the passport (I had to fast track DD's). Do you have to book something now or will you leave it til nearer the time?

By the way, I did 6 years of OU and even now have nightmares about unfinished assignments and then wake up so glad I don't have the last minute all-night essay crises!

Remembering don't worry about the instincts - I had virtually no baby experience before DD was born! The early days weren't a walk in the park by any means, but by the 3 month mark things do get a lot easier (feeding issues resolved, either baby sleeping longer at night or you are used to being woken!) I didn't do any antenatal groups such as NCT as I didn't really fancy it, but I do have a few like-minded souls with similar aged babies that I meet up with from time to time, which is nice. Have met people through baby cinema, sling meets, in the doctor's waiting room and also picking up Ebay purchases! Not sure if any of that helps but you will also find that when you have a cute baby in your arms, everyone will talk to you

Remembering.... I was clueless when dd was born and a single mother... But everything works out in the end so don't worry!!!

Badmiss my dh reckons we can have another after this pg as well!!!I wish I was as optimistic...

Cycle...hugs from me to you and baby cycle!!!

Love to everyone here!!!

Baby cycle had a bit of a wobble in the night and was back under the light when I got here this morning. It didn't last long and he was out again by lunchtime. He's been very tired and harder to feed today, but hopefully he'll pick up now. The Dr was pretty reassuring.

Sorry not posted for a while

Oh cycle that is awful when you can't be with them - DS1 had jaundice just after birth and they took him away to the Children's clinic and I couldn't go with him and I could howl now just thinking about it - but of course he was fine after a few days - hugs to you and baby cycle

welcome to all the new ladies!

remembering I'd never held a baby or changed a nappy before my DC1 - on the first day at home I changed about 10 nappies and soon realised that DC1 just carried on crying til we realised what was needed - food, change, sleep etc - you'll be fantastic

Thinking of you cycle.x
Well I decided last night to go through the birth plan with dh. It didn't go quite how i thought it would! !! He, bless him, has an unfailing believe that I am a supper woman and of course I will give birth without any problems and
be discharged 2hours later. He has No idea of what's involved or what could happen.

He will not except that he knows nothing therefore will not be told anything. The fact I have delivered 2 baby's without horror stories means it's a done deal this one will be the same. I was 21 last time I gave birth.!!!
These are the times when the age and cultural differences really show. He has not had any exposure to birth s or babies. Never held one till last month!
He's so excited about buying her a swing and teaching her to swim he's completely bypassed the next 2 years.

His belief in my ability is lovely but how do I get him to take his part in the birth seriously? ?? I have a vision of me screaming 'if you're not going to be helpful fuck off' just when I need him most. Lol
Now been waiting 1hour 20 minutes to see dermatologist. Postings from phone so sorry if it's a ramble. X

Hi all marking my place as had lost the thread for a while there. Got whooping cough vaccine this am yeuch I don't want it !!
Welcome Oxford to Londoner ! So jealous of your girl!!

thanks for the encouragement ladies - I get overwhelmed from time to time then figure out of a 19yo can do it, surely I can!?

Blueberry how did you get on yesterday?

Remembering Another here who knows you will find it much easier having a baby than thinking about it (well if you discount the tiredness etc!)
Like the others I did not follow one book to the letter, but read a couple for ideas and adapted to me/DH/baby. The one I probably found the most helpful was Tracy Hogg's Baby Whisperer. The simple premise is that you are looking to evolve to a pattern dubbed EASY: baby Eats - does Activity - and Sleeps (giving you Your time). What is good is a/ it gives you a sense of what you are doing (on a loop), and b/ after baby does the immediate post milk power nap if you can seize their wakeful moment or wake them up eg. with a nappy change, then when they are ready for a sleep they are more likely to sleep through the "ooh, it's an hour or two since I fed and now I'm getting peckish" phase when they will cry for another feed, and instead you can gradually get a pattern of 3-4 hours between feeds. Initially the activity period will be tiny (my 6wo does up to 1.5 hours early morning and late afternoon, but still very little in the middle of the day), but gradually you will get up to say two hours of activity (I use this term very loosely!)
I also find a feeding ap on my phone helps both keep track of when I fed and which breast/how much from bottle/ etc, but also allows me to see the gradual evolution towards longer feeds and gaps. My motto is 'mummy is not a snackpot'!! I can then be very relaxed if he wants a feed after only an hour etc; each day is different, but the direction of travel is good.
Some other very random things that we found helpful:

• let baby suckle finger to see if s/he wants to suckle for comfort (finger will be enough) or wants milk/food (they will suckle and then cry, most likely)
• if baby is fretful and it's not a normal feed time, put finger by mouth and gently almost tickle cheek, they will turn and latch to finger thinking it is nipple/teat if they want milk, or not...
• there is a hold called the tiger or leopard hold, where baby's head is nestled in the crook of your elbow, usually facing out, and body lies along forearm, with legs dangling either side of your hand/wrist: some babies love this (mine did/do) as it puts a lovely pressure on their belly, and they can see what is going on but are well supported; this often helped 'settle' an unfathomably unhappy baby
• babies cry. They do. You cannot give them a life where they never cry. I'm super soft really and hate it, but they are not 'unhappy' like we are when we cry: they are telling you they WANT something or do NOT WANT something. We all know this, but I find reminding myself helps me get on and go to the loo and find my hat and keys when the baby is wailing and I need to get out the house, and so on. Sometimes baby T cries while I'm settling the toddler; with her I would have run in; with him he goes to sleep five mins later before I can go back and he wakes up totally fine
• babies are more likely to cry from tiredness than hunger (This is probably my number one tip ever)
• when babies are tired they often need to cry to get to sleep; it helps block out stimulation

I do not advocate a permanently crying baby! Just reminding you not to worry too much or feel guilty about a little crying.

Cycle so hope that babyCycle keeps making progress and you can spend more time with him and get feeding better established. Thinking of you every day (and night seeing as I'm up for quite a bit of them!)

Blueberry Don't really know you but also thinking of you for scan yesterday and so so hope all was well

Finally I have a bundle of newborn (up to 7.5lb ish) baby boy clothes which T has grown out of. There is probably as much as any newborn baby would need - babygrows, long and short sleeved vests at least. As we sadly will not have any more babies I'm happy to offer to any of you if you are near enough and need stuff. You can have it for free - pick up or I can post 2nd class. Otherwise I'll put on freecycle or give to local charity shop. The bundle (some used before me, some only used for 4-5wks for T) would probably pack fill a standard John Lewis bag (which very much outs me as a shopper!) PM me if you are interested

scarecrow that's amazing advice, thank you and thanks for taking your time to write it all out for me too.
I will go find that book on amazon now too

Cycle, I'm so sorry babycycle is back in hospital, I hope he's now properly on the mend and you can have him back home soon. It must be really horrible.

Thanks for the holiday tips. We wouldn't go further than Europe, most likely somewhere we've been before. Eagle, that's a good point about the passport. I think we'll wait to book until LO is here, should be 8 weeks ish if/when we go, as consultant says I won't be going overdue. at your OU experience with assignments, I'm glad it's not just me with the last minute stuff.

Rosie, good luck with DP and your birth plan, I hope you can convince him that he does need to know stuff!

Remembering, you'll be fine, when I had DD at 39, I was baffled that youngsters cope with babies all the time too, but they can so you can. NCT classes were great for me for making friends, though possibly less so with the actual stuff about birth, but in our area we also had NHS post natal classes, and I made some really good friends through those too.

OK then, back to it....self imposed MN ban not going well so far, obviously.

Hello to everyone this thread is huge might be a lurker as cant keep up!
Great news cvs was clear - all systems go - very relieved & have told both DD's who want a boy! Might be a bit quiet but still here - good luck everyone xx

Wow scarecrow great advice. Notes taken. :)
cycle how's things? Do you have baby home yet? Sending
blueberry great news. Lurk away. We're here if you want to chat x x
sparkly if you're reading this I hope the essay is done
Me... in the doldrums. Board and dondon't knknow what to do with myself.
Hi to everyone. X

Wow scarecrow a tour de force - glad I saw it. Never understood baby whisperer till you explained it just there,

Came on here to wish camper well, I am thinking of you hon and your little boy. I hope you are home together soon xxx

Hugs to all you other lovely pg ladies waves to badmiss

I lost the thread so glad I found you again...
Hope everyone had a good BHol weekend!
How is cyclebaby getting on?

Hi to Rosie, RememberingmyPFEs, Blueberry, Sparkly, iclaudius

Big wave to Scarecrow

How's Cyclebaby doing, Cyclecamper?

Just really tired atm, and have had constant stream of visitors....wish the weather would realise it's supoosed to be sunny!

Hi ladies - i keep losing the thread as well! Feeling pretty good at the moment - 15+6 - was at docs this morning and everything seems to be going Ok :)

Hi Everyone, it's been very quiet on here, thread keeps falling off first page! Hope this means everyone is doing really well.

cycle how are things? would love to hear how you and Baby cycle are doing.
animol glad you finding your bloom. i started feeling better from about 18 weeks, other than a few days it's been pretty good since then.

remember DH and i had BBQ in garden on sat, real dahab style, Kofta, (made by DH) taheena, salad, bread. sat on Dahab rug in the sun. Oh i miss Dahab days.

All good here, DM is causing a few problems (nothing new there) she is making lots of comments (to every one but me) about the baby being 'Egyptian' ( = muslim) and how she is not being 'allowed' to be involved. I commented months ago that i didn't think i would need her at the birth!!! (why would i??) and i've not given anyone my due date further than Baby is due in July.... which she is. i don't know when she will come. I know my mother and if baby comes early (which she may well do) it will be ' Oh well, you didn't manage to carry to term!!' So now she has booked a holiday for ALL of July, sailing to America (on queen Mary) then visiting family. She told me last night, she will see her 3rd GD whenever it 'fits with her plans' and as she's not 'going to be around long' she will not be getting involved as there is no point. (she is only 68 and fit as a fiddle and could live another 20 years!!!)

She spent 2 hours on sunday telling my DD2 how great my DD1 was as she had done everything right, went to Uni, got married, bought house, now pregnant. DD2 is a great sahm, has a lovely (rented) house and has been with her DP for 5 years!!!

thankfully DH is being wonderful and MIL is so excited (dispite some very strange parenting of a young baby ideas ) I'm very used to disapointing my Mother and knew from BFP that she would not be happy about this little one.
I'm so glad my hormones are under control..... if not I might have said a few home truths to her.
wow vent over!!
xx

Rosie I hadn't realised you were a Dahabite in particular! A very good friend of mine runs a dive club there and I've probably spent about 20 weeks out there diving! Small Small world!
Kofta and Tahina, yumyumyum! Roll on November, I'll have another 2 weeks there!

I had my 31 week appt today, measuring 35.5 so being send for another sodding GTT despite MW agreeing it's probably fluid and bub feels normal size. grrr. In other news she is head down already and nice strong HB at 144

Waves to everyone, hope all is well

remember i'm old school Dahab! first went in 1998! when it was really beautiful. It changed my life. it was my first diving holiday in warm water. (i was a BSAC UK wreck diver!!) I dived with an amazing german female instructor who inspired me to one day be an instructor, at the time my girls were young but it set a sead in my mind. I saved every penny possable and went back at least once a year. in 2002 i went to thailand and did my dm and instructor. I then went back to Dahab in 2004 and lived and worked there for 6 years. summer in Dahab, winter on safari from Hurghada.(did alsorts of other jobs while ther too) Dispite promising myself i'd NEVER fall for an Egyptian Diver, I'd seen go wrong it so many times, Met DH in 2006 he was only 23 and i was 36!! We are however one of those for who it just worked.... 7 years later we're as happy as ever, living in UK and expecting a very unexpected baby. DH still works for PADI. Life is a strange thing.

Which dive center does your friend run?

Grrr re appointment today... will you have another scan? nice strong Heart beat though.

Life is strange indeed! How funny... My friend went out in 97, met an Egyptian (think he is about 15 years younger than her) and stayed - they set up and run Dive-Urge on the Eel Garden and have 3 DC's out there. I've been going since 2001 and did my DM there in 2009. I can't imagine you don't know her and I suspect we may have happened across each other at some point?

Sorry everyone - dive bore stuff, ignore us

They will do anther scan if the GTT comes back clear, which it will... yay for another chance to sneak a peek at the LO :-)