Labour trends - Will I follow DM and DGran?

[RuckAndRoll]

So, I'm starting to freak out about labour (25weeks). My Gran (3DC) and Mum (2DC) both had horrendous labours and were very ill for ages after, they both say it runs in the family and I'll be the same. Anyone know if there's any medical evidence to back this up or if it's old wives tale?

There's a lot else making me freak out, but if I reckon if I start to try and address them 1 at a time I can bring my anxiety under control. MW just fobbed me off as she said it's far too early to be thinking about labour.

My mum had two terrible labours. Days and days with me, ended in forceps etc etc and hideous prolapse with my younger brother. My two births have been quite the opposite, 7 hours first time, 3 the second. Pool, gas and air, no damage.

Well the mw sounds as useful as a box of frogs. She should deal with genuine worries.

It is always possible that something about their bodies is similar and caused problems. However medical science has moved on a lot in a short space of time.

What specifically were the problems they had?

Midwife said she'll discuss it with me from the 32 week appointment but that I'm wasting energy worrying just now. I think she was trying to be nice but it really doesn't help!

Both had really short labours (all less than 1.5hrs), huge blood loss and both went into shock.

My labour was nothing like my mum's but, according to my aunt, very much like my paternal grandmother's experiences. DGran told my aunt that labour didn't hurt & people who said it did were either making a fuss or just trying to scare her. Poor DAunt thought she was dying when she was in labour! I didn't find it particularly painful either so I guess there may well be some truth in the suggestion that there's a hereditary link but that doesn't mean it'll be a direct maternal link. Do you know anything about labours on your father's side? Maybe you take after someone on that side!

Ruck I had that kind of labour with ds1. Pretty fast and big blood loss throughout labour then heomorhage when he was born which sent my body into shock and put huge strain on my heart (was going at 260bpm) at one point, was kept in hdu. So I was petrified when getting pregnant with ds2 spent every day worrying stressing, as there was no cause ever found I just thought it was me and my body. I ended up with no issues like that though with ds2, still under consultant care with my current pregnsncy for the issues with ds1, so still panic a lot. I think you should speak to your midwife again and really stress to her how much this is frightening you. Also if you do a birth plan write your concerns in that too so the staff can see it when you go into labour and are aware of it xxx

My mum had v fast labour with me (only dc) and I have had dc1 4hrs, dc2 2 hrs and dc3 30m!! Anecdotal of course!

I know people whose own labours have been totally different from their previous ones so even if a bit of hereditary link, must be lots of other factors too.
My 3 labours were all similar, my dmum & dsis both had 4dc and 4 v different births.
Easy to say I know, but try not to worry. If you really think chance same will happen to you, could you write birth plan for it to feel more in control?

My Mom was in labour 3 hours each time with my sister and me, from the first twinge til baby in arms. She haemorrhaged afterwards due to retained placenta. My waters broke and 12 hours later nothing happened, induced and then another 13 hours later had a baby! Lost a lot of blood and placenta took a long time to come out, on the verge of surgery when they yanked it out!

I'll try and talk to the midwife again next time I see her then. I'm just worried it's more than a co-incidence given it was the same for two labours for my Mum and 3 labours for her Mum. I suppose the important thing is they're both still here and all the babies were fine in the end.

We live at least a half hour drive from the hospital, can be more in traffic. If I follow Mum with DBro, 1hr20 from first twinge to babe in arms, doesn't leave much time for realising it's actually labour, calling a taxi/DH and getting to the hospital.

Thanks for your stories, kind of helps to hear a good mix and realise there isn't always a trend.

There are some general patterns across populations but no rules. My mother and grandmother (and her mother and grandmother in fact) had easy, straightforward deliveries. I had every intervention going, long and ending in emcs both times.

I know now that you can't decide what labour or delivery you'll have but you can empower yourself with the knowledge of what you'd like to happen in each instance and how you might manage this. And it's your midwife's job to help you with this.

I've had two v similar labours and identical deliveries (cs) but one was traumatic, one wasn't. The difference was that second time round, I knew that I had no control over certain variables. But I didn't have to approach needing medical assistance as a failing or something to be frightened of. In fact, I know that medical intervention is a brilliant life saving thing without which I wouldn't be here and neither would my children. I might have had a team of doctors and midwives and a delivery on an operating table but I laughed throughout, I felt involved and happy and it was a positive experience.

With my first I was so convinced that anything other than a straightforward homebirth was a 'bad' thing that when it happened, I was mentally and physically unprepared to handle it and felt like it was all being done to me on the day.

You've got the right idea in looking at what's worrying you and thinking about how you'll address it in the event. I just wish your midwife would help you with it.