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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Trying not get get offended with peoples comments on bump!!!

27 replies

mrspaddy · 19/04/2013 18:13

Rant needed. I am a teacher and work in a fairly conservative but friendly school. Lately our Deputy Principal (older very refined type of women) has come into my class when I am on my own to state, 'oh my your boobs are getting big' or ' I was telling xyz that you are getting as big as a house'. It's totally unprofessional. My mum also loves telling stories of women who went bald after childbirth or teeth falling out.
Anyway it is thankfully it is Friday. Rant over.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Pancakeflipper · 19/04/2013 18:18

Your body is now public property.

It is natures way of developing you a thicker skin because when baby comes along you will be judged on everything that you and baby do.

Original poster

mrspaddy · 19/04/2013 18:25

Oh dear.. there is more to come once baby arrives.. uh oh

OP posts:

LikeCandy · 19/04/2013 18:43

I didnt get a noticeable bump until 20w or so, queue l I spent the last few weeks of pregnancy being told how huge I was and 'it can't be healthy to gain so much weight' (I gained 16kg) and when I saw colleagues for the first time since having baby (3 1/2 weeks old, 10kg lighter) I got the 'you're so small, are you looking after yourself?!'
You can't win either way!

LikeCandy · 19/04/2013 18:44

Managed to delete the middle of that post, no idea how, but I'm sure you get the gist!!

Frecklesandspecs · 19/04/2013 19:17

Just shrug it off. It only gets worse!! Older women seem to think they have the authority to assess any bump. Mostly, I think they are just trying to make conversation or try and make you know that they are women too?
I am on my 3rd pregnancy and I'm huge at 12 weeks! Thankfully I live in London where hardly any speaks to you anyway so I am left in peace!!
:)

Frecklesandspecs · 19/04/2013 19:19

mrspaddy - those same women will also be the authority on how to feed,hold and why your baby is crying. They will stop you in the supermarket to tell you your baby is hungry and that is why it is crying, even though you know it's only just been fed.
You Will get very close to punching some of them, trust me, especially when you are tired too. xx

cupcake78 · 19/04/2013 19:24

Today at work someone said to me. Oh my haven't you grown are you sure it's not twins.

There was then an office discussion on where my bump was positioned (all front, low down apparently), how my body was physically changing, condition of hair skin nails, size of bum and boobs and then started the gender speculation.

It does get worse when baby comes, every person thinks they know what the baby needs better than you

silvershine45 · 19/04/2013 19:30

am on 5th child i get stares because i look like a teenage mum people try and touch my bump which is annoying someone said i was going to have twins and i looked huge so stupid to be honest

babyradio · 19/04/2013 19:38

At 28 weeks pregnant a woman I had never met before in my life pointed at my bump and said "ooh that looks like a wee lassie in there" my response "it's a boy".

My midwife says "next time someone comments on the shape or size of your bump, ask to see their qualifications".

I haven't gained any weight really so at 33 weeks I'm very much a walking bump. I can tell people are staring at it or talking about me etc. I also look very young so they probably think I'm a teen mum which maybe doesn't help with the comments. I'm quite shy about my body so it has been hard to get used to, why do people think it's ok!?

Bunnylion · 19/04/2013 19:50

I overheard a discussion in my office today about how my bump has suddenly got massive in the last week.

One observant colleague kindly noted how I'm also growing a bump of equal proportion on my behind.

AlmondFrangipani · 19/04/2013 19:55

I can completely sympathise with this!! I am 25 weeks pregnant and quite petite so my bump looks disproportionately large and boy do people like mentioning it! Daily I get 'wow you are massive' or 'your boobs are huge'. I am trying to get thicker skinned but it does feel a be evasive. I guess it is only get worse as pregnancy goes on!!

lovelyredwine · 19/04/2013 19:58

When I was pregnant a colleague walked into the office and announced I must be having a boy as my bum had got so much bigger. Ironically I had just finished having a conversation with someone about how I'd not put on weight anywhere but on my bump. I have a dd by the way so have decided to believe colleague number one was correct! Just ignore them, it happens to a lot of pregnant women unfortunately.

SourSweets · 19/04/2013 20:18

Ha, yes. According to everyone other than my midwife I am way too small, probably not eating enough, definitely making myself ill. Please. Some of these people don't even ask how far along I am before saying I'm small. What are they thinking?! They're not, is probably the answer.

SomethingOnce · 19/04/2013 21:48

I've got a long torso and a capacious pelvis so my bump was never very big and all the 'small bump' comments did make me worry that something was wrong (despite all scans etc being fine). But that's pregnancy for you - a whole world of worry!

As for the public property thing, I kind of liked the bump touchers, tbh - I felt like my growing baby was being welcomed. And the observations on my changing shape from women who were already mothers had a pleasing 'joining the club' quality

I think what I'm trying to say is that we're generally very disconnected from one another, and if you reframe some of this stuff it's possible to feel a nice sense of connectedness instead. Or maybe that's just me!

Lj8893 · 19/04/2013 22:13

I'm nearly 13 weeks pregnant and have maybe put on 2 inches on my tummy but nowhere near enough for anyone but myself (or maybe my mum lol!!) to notice and had 2 colleagues say to me at about 10 weeks, wow you seem to have ballooned abit already.!!

Thankfully a pregnant customer came into the store later and on hearing I was pregnant looked shocked and asked me where I was hiding it!!! I wanted to hug her!!

Peregrin · 19/04/2013 22:13

Ha! Thank you for the light relief (sorry). I was already peeved when we were TTC and I decided to abstain from alcohol - people could not stop making comments, down to very loud questions of "Are you PREGNANT then?" Never before had I realised that not imbibing alcohol is such a controversial choice... looking forward to all the fun to come as parenthood progresses.

notso · 19/04/2013 22:37

I was carrying too much fluid with DC3, he was a big baby and I was the size of a house, at 30 weeks I was measuring full term.
I had HE and SPD and was in constant agony.
One day I was in the corner shop, this miserable woman who works there looked me up and down and just said "you really are massive" not in a jokey way just a nasty way,
I totally snapped and said "yeah well your really old, at least I can get smaller" and flounced out of the shop in tears!

wispa31 · 19/04/2013 22:38

lol i was at my cousins hen party last week and my aunties were there too, not seen them in a while so we were chatting about me being pg. one of my aunts asked how far on i was and when i said 4mths she nearly fell over!! lol she thought i was going to say 5/6mths. her response was 'did you swallow a baby?' lol. i thought it was funny tbh but thats probs cos it was family.

soupmaker · 19/04/2013 22:41

I am 6 months. And I've had loads of people rub my bump today and had a mum of a classmate declare that I must be carrying a boy as I'm carrying all around not just sticking out. Funny how I look much the same as when I carried DD! Ignore them all.

Jojobump1986 · 19/04/2013 23:20

I have the opposite problem - my bump is relatively small & people are constantly asking me how far along I am & then insisting that I'm not...! It's taking all my self control not to demand to know why they were spying on us the night he was conceived, since they apparently know when that was! I end up feeling like I need to check my diary, just to make sure, or apologise that both DH & I are petite people who produce petite babies! Mostly I just smile... With gritted teeth!

Don't get me started on people who think they suddenly have a right to rub my stomach! My friend rubs them back. I so wish I had her confidence!

syl1985 · 20/04/2013 01:02

I just love showing my belly, because I'm so happy with being pregnant. But I just HATE it when people think it's ok to go and touch it.

It's my 4th child and with the others I also hated it that people thought it was ok to tough my kids when they were a baby.

Looking is fine, making a nice conversation is also very welcome. But keep your hands to yourself.

Hard thing is how to correctly respond on these people. They don't seem to understand how annoying they're.

Something else that I soooo hate.
In my family, why God knows, they like to ask how many stitches you have after you got your child.

I was pregnant with my first child and someone said to me.
You are small (I'm 1.60 metre) so you must be small down there too. You'll get a lot of stitches.

I was so angry and shocked by hearing this. I couldn't say a word. But never spoke to her ever again.

After my child was born a man of my family said to me how it was down there. I had a large child, I'm small so I most have stitches there.
The asshole even said that in front of other family members.

I said to him, ANGRY:
I haven't got any stitches and second I'm not asking you in front of everyone about your penis size now am I?
And does it mean that when you're small I'm small down there too? (This man was around 2 metre) So I said: Do you've a big penis because you're big?

He said sorry and never had any problem with anyone of my family after that!!!
Problem solved!

Sylvia

GTbaby · 20/04/2013 01:21

Someone at work (also a school) commented in staff room about size of my boobs. Along lines of "oh your pregnant! I thought your boobs look bigger".
I got up n left the area. She shouted an apology after me and I ignored her . She later came to apologies to my face, n I just listened n said ok.
I made it clear to colleagues I did not find these comments suitable, a joke between friend is fine, but not shouted across 20 other staff. And after this NOONE said anything to me. Other then nice things.
I am very conscious about my body and more then anything my boobs. Hate comments at the best of times.

Our head teacher is a big foot in mouth Type of person. N I had my line ready (with a cheeky grin) "your lucky I'm not a crazy hormonal pregnant lady, as comments like that can lead to harassment complaints"

I know it's to b expected when pg. but it's just not on.

HadALittleFaithBaby · 20/04/2013 01:26

Yup sorry, you're public property. I got asked if it was twins/my dates were wrong/told Well it's not going to be small baby, is it?! Actually she was born 5lb 5oz and was classed as a 'small' baby.

One thing we avoided was telling anyone names. People have no fear in saying they dislike a name before baby is born. They say ^How lovely* once it's picked though, regardless! :)

lollypopsicle · 20/04/2013 08:26

I avoided telling work for as long as I could with this pg as I find the daily body assessment so tedious. this week (35 wks) I've been told that I'm bigger all over now, that my boobs are huge and how I've done some growing over the Easter break. Gee thanks, just what I wanted to hear from you all. then every day this week I've had my bump assessed by 1 colleague with 'you look bigger today' then 'you look smaller now' the day after. 2 more weeks of this

Teaandflapjacks · 20/04/2013 11:15

ahhh I know - it's so annoying. My aunt (well my DH's aunt) said when we announced the pregnancy 'I knew it, your boobs are huge, first thing I thought' in front of a whole stack of my in laws, including BIL & FIL - (in german too- good job I can understand what was being said!!)) - I was mortified. Then of course, everyone had a good look at my boobs. My MIL plonks her hands on my stomach every time I see her, all that side of the family do, it is so annoying. I really feel like saying 'shall I shove my hands all over your tums them too - see how you like it!' To me it is a total invasion of personal space. But I don't, as I worry about offending, and they are really nice people apart from that. I have instead taken to wearing large scarfs and pashminas round my neck when we see them and stand a bit further back, hoping they get the hint. Plus when the baby comes, loads of people smoke in germany, I don't want nicotine stumps chucking my little ones face

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