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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Body dysmorphic disorder and pregnancy

16 replies

cmh18 · 13/04/2013 13:11

Just wondered if anyone else was/is affected by this. I've had bdd for as long as I can remember. I'm so happy to be pregnant and can't wait for my baby to arrive, but bdd is bringing ruining my pregnancy I've never felt so ugly and hideous as I do now . I don't find pregnant women ugly at all, but I just feel like a disgrace because of how my ugliness has increased due to being pregnant. If anyone has any tips on how to deal with this it would be appreciated. Thanks x

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CareerGirl01 · 13/04/2013 14:41

I don't have bdd but I have found some of the changes to my body shocking and - if I'm honest - freaky. This is my second pregnancy and I've adapted better this time round. For me eating as healthily as I can and keeping active have given me a feeling of empowerment and control I didn't have with no1. Of course this is unlikely to help you. Are you having help - or have you on the past. There must be others in sand situation. Hoping others on these boards will know more than me. Congratulations OP x

fatandlumpy · 14/04/2013 09:41

I have a mild form of the disorder (never show my legs, never wear tight clothing - I buy it a size too big, don't wear makeup, high heels etc...)

... Pregnancy has been utterly liberating for me :)

I love my bump and I show it to the World :D

I reason that this is the only time it will be 'forgivable' to look like a fat blimp - so I shall. With bells on!

(Fertile Goddess!)

StyleManual · 14/04/2013 11:12

I don't have experience of this, but when I was pregnant last time I found it very hard losing control of my body. I was obsessed about putting on weight. After I had given birth the weight dropped off and I ended up a stone lighter than pre-pregnancy by the time my daughter was 5 months old. I am pregnant again now, and I will make sure I exercise and eat healthily, but I will try not to stress about the weight gain, as it is all for a good reason and you can regain control once you have your baby. It really is only temporary and totally reversible.

And even if you don't believe me, you look amazing. You're pregnant! Your body isn't your own while you're pregnant - you're sharing it with your baby. You really are beatiful. But you have to give up control to the little person inside who wants you to eat lots and get chubby so you have lots of energy stores for him/her and for breastfeeding (if you choose to).

Original poster

cmh18 · 14/04/2013 14:02

Tbh I'm finding it the complete opposite of liberating I don't want to leave the house and feel embarrassed when OH sees me. The only thing I've done towards my birth plan is researching which makeup is going to perform the best, I know people will say that in the heat of the moment makeup will be the last thing on your mind, but for me that won't be the case. It's strange how pregnancy and child birth are pretty much the most 'female' thing in nature, but I've never felt less like a woman in my life!! Xx

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StyleManual · 14/04/2013 14:33

Oh you poor thing. Have you spoke to your OH about it? I'm sure he thinks you look beautiful.
Have you treated yourself to some nice new maternity clothes? Would a bit of pampering help? I know you have had these issues for a long time, but it might help you to feel better about yourself.

Original poster

cmh18 · 14/04/2013 15:06

OH knows about it and he's good at spotting it when I'm having a bad day but he lost his job just before Xmas so I don't want to burden him with extra problems he already feels bad enough about things and the fact that my salary is the only one we've got meaning that I'm back at work when baby's 4/5 months, which is not why either of us want. I think the maternity clothes thing isn't helping, they're either so frumpy that they make me feel worse or totally put of my price range, I went into debenhams the other day and asked to assistant ifI they had any matern

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Original poster

cmh18 · 14/04/2013 15:07

Maternity clothes/lingerie that was nice, they reply-'no we dot do anything like that' !! At least she was honest!!! Xx

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ginauk84 · 14/04/2013 15:32

Hi
I am the same, I was treated with CBT a couple of years ago and because of this they referred me to the consultant when I was 28 weeks to check I was coping okay so I would recommend you speak to your midwife if you do feel that bad. My midwife has been very supportive and has said the help is there if I need it.

My BDD is under control however I do have days when I feel awful and like you don't want to go out, just want to hide somewhere. When I do have a bad day, my hubby knows and he always reassures me and has told me how good I look etc etc. The thought of going on any scales fills me with fear so I have avoided them and the consultant says that's fine and he is happy I am keeping healthy and am not letting my BDD effect my eating etc.

It makes it worse as I am short so my bump really takes over my body and I do feel like an oompah loompah - I am also struggling with back pain so I feel like I can't exercise as it hurts too much. Normally a good walk or bit of exercise helps me feel better. So I am just making sure I am eating healthily and not eating rubbish.

ginauk84 · 14/04/2013 15:34

PS Have a look at ebay at some of the bundles of clothes, you can pick them up cheaply enough.

Original poster

cmh18 · 14/04/2013 16:38

I did try CBT but found it too hard due to the fact that they're trying to make me believe something that isn't true. My community midwife team are good but I' never see the same MW twice so telling a stranger about it feels weird also don't want it on my medical notes. Never thought I'd miss dieting and treadmills this much!! Xx

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fatandlumpy · 14/04/2013 18:13

Sorry ladies. The only thing I can say is that I woke up one morning, had a look in the mirror and sort of broke through a pain barrier. I quite literally said 'Fuck it!'.

I'm not sure how or why but I stopped caring what people thought. I honestly don't feel 'pretty' - I know I'll never be 'thin' nor beautiful... but somehow I actually don't care anymore.

sweetiepie1979 · 14/04/2013 18:45

Have you tried jojo manma bebe for clothes they've got some lovely stuff. Other than that I can't help because I'm more proud of body when pregnant too. Hugs though

Ktdnn83 · 18/07/2015 20:25

Hi I just need to post as I have been lurking around this site and hundreds of others of BDD . I have suffered with this for over many years mainly started in my pregnancy with my first son . I had an abusive husband who put me down always. I started with bulimia in pregnancy and the addiction grew from there . I was lucky to have a healthy baby and do not need the pep talk on how selfish I was . Trust me it haunts me every day . I became anorexic after having my son and went down to 6 stone 13 at my lowest . I was hospitalised and put on a drop etc and that didn't stop there . I would cut food into pieces walk with the pram for 2 miles a day . All the tricks of the trade I did . My skin has always been affected by BDD mainly scarring and use my hair to hide away . The sad thing is my son is 9 and it's not stopped . I have now been diagnosed with Graves' disease which has a strong effect on my hormones . The bullimia is back and I suffered two miscarriages this year . The midwife said it could be my thyroid I'm killing myself slowly . My joints are hurting its trugglimg to breathe and all in all I watch my son and wonder what his mum will be at 40 . The desire to be Prfect has stolen awY my 20s and ruining my early 30s I shy away from pubs and struggle with clothes shopping . What I see in the mirror is not what everybody knows . My scars on my face are nothing to the scars deep inside me . I want to live but don't want to live this unhappy . I hate myself for being this selfish but i ant stop it it's an on going disease that has deep mental scarring . I believe in a brighter happier me that is there some days I want awareness on BDD as its took important years from me and do not need any more stolen . I hope you women who are struging like me to wake up different get better and Good luck xxxx

Feelingstressed444 · 18/07/2015 22:25

I completely sympathise with you. I have had bdd since I was a teenager and I'm 27 now. When I found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks, my first concern was how I was going to manage with my issues. Undeniably it has been difficult, but somehow I believe you find the strength to get through.
I chose to do anything to keep my mind healthy. I invested in a second hand treadmill and after I got through the worst of the first trimester symptoms, I began doing light walks on there a few days a week in the comfort of my own home. I truly believe this has kept my mind healthy and sane. I have tried to avoid looking at mirrors and over analysing my body. The biggest struggle has been listening to other people's judgements on my pregnant body. But again you somehow learn to shut it out. I am how 36 weeks and although I have had a fairly easy pregnancy, I feel relieved to say I have almost made it to the end and soon I will be able to regain control over my body and mind.
Stay strong and hang in there.

Feelingstressed444 · 18/07/2015 22:27

Very sorry to read your story Ktdnn83
I truly wish you all the best

Ktdnn83 · 28/07/2015 14:20

It's an ongoing battle isn't it I'm trying to conceive at the minute and it's hard keeping my hormones levels normal they changed my thyroid medication so it's safer to conceive I actually ovulated this month !!! Started juicing and cut down the binging so fingers crossed good luck with the rest of your pregnancy xxxx

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