Pregnant (IVF) Worriers

[Dildals]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Here goes again the last one was too long anyway

Hello ladies

I hope you are all ok.

Thanks for the art interest. I do have exhibitions sometimes but I tend not to make objects. I have what is known as a socially engaged participatory practice which means I like to facilitate opportunities for the audience to participate in the work and have an experience. In my case they hopefully learn something. I was in the southbank a few weeks ago teaching passersby to crochet (I might have just outed myself there!). I also serve a lot of tea and cake to encourage sharing and conversation. All good fun!

I'm glad I'm not the only one taking pics. The compulsion to record and document is strong but they are personal so won't be shown in a gallery anytime soon! As Mariana said hopefully I'll show shazlett how she grew one day.

MrsH I would wait the extra couple of days if you can. I know it's hard I felt the same but save the money and have an extra scan later on. Also do you know the fetal medicine centre their scans are (only!) £100.

Sweetie I've noticed abit of a bump now. More like a bloated belly that doesn't go down. I know what you mean about the nails. Something's are not worth the risk mine was hair colour.

Gin I'm glad someone else has underwires although I'm inspired into going bra shopping at the weekend. Re the hospital could you go and look at some?

Mariana tea, cake and a natter sounds great. I hope it was the tonic you needed. How is the sleep?

Dildals I understand your DP it's hard to have faith. Hopefully he will come round. Ah street, yes DP went there once and liked it. Sounds nice.

Expat, foody, fairy and crisps I hope you are all ok. And I hope I haven't missed anyone.

I'm stressing, overwhelmed and anxious. I need to, what was it MrsH? Chill the f**k out! I'm panicking about harmony results. We have been so lucky so far. What if luck has run out? I've got to find a way to relax otherwise the next 9 days will be a nightmare.

Have a good day girls. I'm late for work. Oh well

X

shaz your work sounds amazing - I want to come! Do you do things for little people too . It must be v nerve wracking waiting for the test results. But I am sure it will be fine. Think of what we've all had to go through to get preggers as our bit of bad luck - we now deserve for everything else to go smoothly!

didals I'm in streatham (outs self!). Whereabouts are you?

mariana tea and a chat sound ace.

Is anyone else suffering with morning all day sickness? I'm not actually throwing up, but wretching a lot and feeling constantly sick. The gp gave me some anti nausea stuff, although I'm a bit worried about taking it, which is stupid I know after the amount of drugs I've taken to get this far!

Ooo Gin I'm in Streatham too! Hurrah for girls in da hood.

Thanks for kind arty words. It is alot of fun. Now that there will be a little one to consider I'm sure that beans, pips and pups will feature in future projects.

Try the sea bands. I only had to use them for a week but they stopped the little bit of queasiness I had.

X

gin I am in between Peckham. MrsHY lives in East Dulwich. And you and Shazz in Streatham! South London is fertile breeding grounds.

I think it is lovely to have a bit of a record, I still love leafing through my baby book, which has my weight graph, a lock of hair, date of first words/steps, first b'day cards etc. My mum even recorded the colour of my first poos! I was wondering whether they still sell those type of books. I can easily make one myself of course. We don't print off photos anymore though do we? I may need to buy a little photo printer.

I want to start a record but am sort of scared of jinxing things. I will start keeping some notes that I can build on if things are all ok.
so these photos do you all try to wear same clothing and keep same position. I am really useless at this sort of thing.

sweet I know what you mean, I wouldn't start until you are comfortable, lots of things you can store in your head for now! I don't wear the same clothing no, and I must say, I don't do it every week religiously either.

I just wear underwear, same position though. Tbh start after 7 weeks scan sweetie, I'm still exactly the same, bobs were big by 4 weeks but don't seem to still be growing.

Ha at fertile ground, dildals. Have you forgotten what thread we are on

I started with no clothes on but now wear pants. I have a long mirror in the bedroom so I use that. One face on and one side on. But it's personal and like keep said do it when you feel comfortable. I also have a notebook that I started at the beginning of treatment so I write things in there but not everyday I'm a documenting maniac though! DP told me that he had written a couple of short notes to the baby I thought that was cute. I haven't seen them.

aw Shazza that is lovely that dh has been doing that.

I know it is me being daft, I know I cannot jinx things by keeping a journal. I might start after 7 week scan if all is well.

Sweetie it's completely understandable. Wait til the scan. Not long to go. Xx

sweets I definitely remember being afraid of jinxing things, just can't remember what it was!

shazz that is sweet of DP!

gin I am there with you with the all day sickness. I get a good period where I don't feel ill between about 1 and 4 in the afternoon.

sweets it's not jinxing things, I know that's how it feels but I am trying really hard to enjoy this after all the hard work. I will probably wait until after the first scan too though.

Called the clinic today to book in for my 7wk scan in a couple of weeks. The nurse said I needs to ring the GP and start making contact with the midwife...I told her that seemed a bit premature and she reminded me that I am actually pregnant now! It's very strange being pregnant when you're infertile...nice to beat the system but a little more difficult to embrace without mentalling.

dildals I assume you are a member of tamba? I'm sure you know twins didn't work out for us but in the earlier stages they were great...they had some good advice about nursery costs too.

I did sign up to Tamba. I found their site really useful when I was still struggling with the HOW AM I EVER GOING TO COPE phase! :)

There's also a local twin club that I think might actually be even more useful.

How did TAMBA give you advice on nursery costs, I didn't see anything on that. (Must say I haven't looked v hard either).

I loved the pictures on the different ways of BFing twins. (I think that was in one of the TAMBA guides anyway ...)

Not sure exactly as we didn't end up getting to that stage, but I think it was part of the online stuff..I think when we originally looked into nurseries it explained how much discount there usually was for the second child. Loads of places do discount too.

Christ, I am the worst for thinking I'll jinx things. I don't even have a scan picture of DD2. It's total bollocks though and I wish I wasn't like that.

Midwife asked me today - in the context of the contraceptive chat - if I planned to start trying for a boy soon. I nearly slung her out the front door!

Mariana I am glad it isn't just me. I made a few notes today and have even taken a photo so I am making a start. I wish I wasn't like this too.

put how far along are you along? My clinic told me to hold off contacting my GP until I have had my 7 week scan.

I am still having very few symptoms, but trying not to think too much into it.

Evening all

Mariana I can't believe the MW asked you about trying for a boy. For goodness sake!

Sweetie I'm glad you felt able to make a start. Maybe tentative steps will help it be more real for you.

I've had a few tears tonight the anxiety has got the better of me. I read the whole MN thread on harmony tests. I kept thinking I should stop but it was compulsive. I know that the odds are in my favour but as we know only too well there is always the risk. I just don't want to have to face a painful decision. I guess we got pregnant with all the risks attached and I have to take responsibility for that. I feel tired from all the emotion and I've got another week to go. I'm going to try to listen to my Hypno tapes again. They were a great help when I started treatment.

I hope you have all had better days.

Sleep well ladies

X

Shazza, I hope you feel a bit better today. Of course there is the risk and it's unavoidable, but it's isn't likely to be you. Sometimes indulging the worry by doing something like reading a thread about it, or having a concentrated fret about it can get it out of your system a bit and help free you from the worry the rest of the day. It's hard though, getting pregnant in the first place is only the first step and if that's been a challenge the stakes feel that much higher. Keep busy today if you can.

Shazza sorry I don't know the background but are you high risk? The waiting throughout is the hardest. I find hypno cds really helpful too. Just try to keep busy. Hope today passes really quickly for you

Thanks Mariana. I know you have suffered such terrible losses so I really appreciate the kind support. DP is optimistic and patient with me. I stayed up far too late last night cause we were snuggled on the sofa watching Die Hard! Not my sort of film but I wanted to be near him. I've got a week to wait and hopefully the bank holiday will be nice and that will take my mind off it. I know what you mean about getting it out of my system though. After yesterday's intense worrying session I feel abit better today.

On a nicer note I think my boobs might have grown abit. They seem to be a different shape and more pillowy somehow. I'm going to try to get to John Lewis for a bra fitting after work. I've got my vouchers to spend.

Have a good day everyone.

X

Hi sweetie we crossed posted. I'm only high risk cause I'm 42 and will be 43 when shazlett arrives. No history in the family or anything like that. But then that makes me think that I could be the first. No, I'm just fretting cause that's what we do right? I got myself in a right old tizzy before my first scan at 7+6 wks. And I'm trying not to let myself get into that state again.

Shazza I can understand where you are coming from. But you should think of the positive that there is no family history. It is hard not to worry every step of the way especially when it has been a long hard journey to get this far. Enjoy your time with DH. You could plan a few nice things to do over the weekend such as afternoon tea somewhere or an afternoon at the cinema.

I think it helps to try take things a day at a time and not look too far ahead.

Thanks sweetie. I'm looking forward to the weekend. Hopefully it will be sunny

Wow - you guys have been busy!
Shazza, like Mariana I find that sometimes a good fret, obsessisive reading, catastrophising, and a really good cry can make you feel better.

Sorry. V v busy. Hope everyone is well.

Shazza The waiting and not knowing is super hard, on top of that the hormones are wreaking havoc ... I think I read that Harmony thread as well, and from memory there were also a lot of good stories, ie people had had 'bad' odds from their NHS scan results and were comforted by the Harmony results coming back with v low odds. (Trying to focus on the positive).
I totally know how you feel though, the thought of having to make a decision 'to do something about it' makes me physically ill (and I am not kidding when I say 'physically ill').
I don't really have any sage advice I am afraid. Try and relax as much as possible and try and let it not spoil the enjoyment you can have from your pregnancy now. x