How do i choose?

[JennaRainbow]

Hello! I've posted a few days ago on this but hoping someone can help. I need to choose which doctor to go with. I'm not telling my mum or friends as I'm only 7 weeks pregnant with my first baby, so can't ask them advice.

We've decided to hopefully go private, and my GP has recommended either Lorin Lakasing or Karl Murphy as his top choices at St Mary's. How on earth do you choose? Is it as simple as man versus woman? Bedside manner? Does anyone have experience of either or both that could help sway me? I'm relieved I've narrowed it down to two at least! I need to let them know in the next couple of days to get booked in!

I'm very nervous about actually giving birth, not enormously body confident anyway so I'm not sure if it will make a difference being a man or a woman. I'm definitely someone that needs hand holding but not patronising.

I'll stop blabbering on....any help choosing would be hugely appreciated x

I expect if you google the doctors you'd get reviews. If you don't like the doctor you can always change.

Unless you have other medical issues the likely scenario is that you won't see your doctor until very late in your pregnancy, but you will end up seeing lots of midwives. We're at Queen Charlotte and each consultant has a specific day when they run their clinic, maybe if you can't make your mind up you could just find out when the clinic would be and see what day works better for you (and OH). I'm at 35 weeks and have only seen midwives and have no appointments to see doctors at any point

Thank you both, I didn't realise you don't see the consultant for ages. I know they are both wonderful doctors which makes it harder to choose. I think really it comes down to do I want a woman or a man?

Do midwives do all the vaginal (invasive) procedures and scans or does the consultant do some? And is the consultant there at the birth with you or just midwife? Sorry if these are obvious things to know, I just have no idea!

If you end up having a c-section that will be done by the doctor (but if it's an emergency then, I think, it will be done by what every doctor is on call). I haven't had any invasive procedures, I don't expect to have any until I either go into labor or need to be induced, again I expect that will be done by the midwife unless there is something wrong. The midwives I've seen in clinic aren't the ones who are there for the labor as they are usually community based (this maybe different for private but I couldn't tell you).
To be honest if all you see is a midwife for the entirety of your pregnancy be very happy as it means you are healthy and happy and progressing normally.
The scans are done by a stenographer (think that's the right word), this is a person specifically trained to read and understand what their looking at.
I will be perfectly happy if I never see a doctor, and all I see is competent midwives.
Also I told my mother and sister at the start of the pregnancy as I felt that their support was important, it all depends on your family and your relationship with them but having someone to talk to who knows you is important and if the worse happens they should understand and support you (but again that does depend on how you relate to them).

Try posting on Mn local too, you may get some more advice.

Thank you all so much, and rabbitfrommars you've really helped my decision! It's so hard when you're brand new to it and just feel so stupid asking questions, especially as there aren't many people I can ask at the moment!

JennaRainbow one thing you need to remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question (most people are thinking the same thing they are just too scared/silly to ask). The best thing you can do at the moment is put yourself first, look forward to the 12 week scan. I've spent the last 35 weeks talking to everyone and asking everything (and if you haven't got someone to ask write it down and ask it when you do). The best way to look after your baby is to look after yourself.
Oh and when you do tell everyone you are going to be inundated with advice, listen to it all and use what you think makes sense/works for you. (and smile and nod at the people that give you crazy advice - you're not going to get anywhere trying to change their mind).