Why can't I look like those lovely preggy ladies in catalogues?

[intergalacticwalrus]

Instead, I look like a double decker bus with spots, and I am walking like an old woman. Why can't I have a lovely roundy bump, that noone can see from the back, instead of being pregnant all over (I even have a pregnant face) Being pregnant is a wonderful thing, natch, but why do I look like a sodding walrus?

I want to look like \link{http://www.pamfan.com/graphics/jojo.jpg\this}

Instead, I look like \link{http://www.cogsci.indiana.edu/farg/harry/bio/zoo/walrus.jpg\this}

Because they are (a) models who live on two pieces of ryvita a week (b) models with probably prosthetic bumps.

lol
that really made me laugh.

if its any consolation the time i looked like the second one, the weight came off really really quickly. all gone by 11 weeks
the time i looked like the first link, well, three years later i look worse than that and weigh more than i did at full term.

true. I want their shiny hair and stretchmark frre skin though

makeup and airbrush yourself then!

Forget the pregnant ones - look at the models for nursing bras! No way have they ever just given birth :o

Ha! - I used to work in this business and trust me, don't, for a minute, believe what you see! -
They are either - former models who are now pregnant - so that means that they will generally be quite tall and therefore carry a lot better.
Also, they are probably only about 4 or 5 months pregnant and then just padded for extra size.
The women who do the bra adverts just have really big ones! - or there is some discreet padding again.
So, what you see aint always what you get!

So now I can feel a little better about my oddly shaped bump and my teenage-type skin (well, teenage except for the crow's feet)

Ah, I'm with you on this one Walrus. In early pregnancy DH got quite excited leafing through the Isabella Oliver catalogue, thinking he would soon have his very own sexy fertile lady with bump attached and lots of slinky clothes. Now, at 28 weeks, he has realised (as have I...) that as well as a bump that he's a bit scared of, I'm fatter all over and my boobs, while satisfyingly enormous, are not propped up with balconette bras anymore. I do have some Isabella Oliver slinky things, but they don't look quite the same as on the models.
And I've just borrowed a friend's pair of maternity dungarees and don't intend to get out of them for the next 12 weeks as they are incredibly comfy. Am trying to convince DH I just look like a supersize version of Daisy Duke...
Pinchy xxx

lol pinchy, especially about your DH being scared of your bump. I remember when I was pg with DS, I was waiting for the bus one day, and this bloke was just staring at my belly, which was jumping all over the shop. I think he thought something was going to jump out at him! Also, I have, what looks like the AA road map of England and Wales in stretchmarks. This pg is adding Scotland and Ireland as well.

oooh, I am so glad to read this post. I have been going spare with the pics in the catalogues, not to mention the fit (or lack) of some of the available maternity clothes. I am quite tall (5'10") and relatively slim when not pregnant, but certainly not a supermodel physique - but all of the catalogues and clothes seem to assume that we are all pregnant in the style of Angelina Jolie - super slim with a dainty little bump. Bah.
I had such issues buying maternity jeans- they all looked so rank that I ended up buying a normal pair, one size up from my regular size and wearing them until now (29 weeks) Have finally given in and bought some Blooming Marvellous under-bump ones, which aren't toooo disgusting.
Anyone have any good suggestions for places for women like me to shop???

stargazing - I've got the same problem as you, but for the opposite reasons! I'm short, and v curvy, which also means that nothing looks right (I have problems enough with normal clothes!).

I don't know where you are, but I did quite well out of going to a local independent maternity shop (in Bristol in my case). Spent an hour in there, tried on most of the shop, but came out with some good basics, from loads of different brands. And they were fantastically helpful about it, gave me a cup of tea, found me all sorts of nice things...the brand of jeans I got was Noppies (?) which seem good, and didn't break the bank.

But I failed to solve my main problem - so does anyone know where I can find a maternity evening dress which isn't black and will have room for a now G cup bust?!

twocatsonthebed - I may be able to help you there! I had the maternity wear challenge to end all maternity wear challenges last week - was reminded at 3pm that I was supposed to be at a black tie do at 7pm (had forgotten all about it), leaving me 4 hours to buy frock that didn't look blah, shave legs for first time in weeks (have given up recently due to increasingly difficult access) get a face on, strap on a pair of vertiginous heels and practice walking in them and GET THERE!
Was a nightmare.
Anyway, JoJo Maman Bebe have a nice chocolate brown evening dress, with ample bust room (ample enough for my bust, anyway) They also do a flattering straight black skirt, which can be teamed with a kind of Grecian style top with sequins under the bust and on the straps - the two pieces will set you back about £60. Push Maternity in Islington also do some gorgeous evening wear, but it'll cost you.
Let us know how you go!

stargazing, I stand in awe. I have two months to find the dress and I'm already panicking!

And thanks for the tip - I will have a look at the JoJo Maman Bebe stuff next week when I'll be passing one. Chocolate brown sounds decidedly good. But the reason it can't be black is that it's my wedding dress! I would never have gone for a meringue anyway, not my style at all, but had visions of being blooming in a lovely wispy floral print frock or some elegant bright red number. so far, not so good. Am coming up to strip London bare in a few weeks time if can't get it down here (somerset) so will definitely try Push too.

Twocats - I actually interviewed the woman at Push in Islington for an article I was writing about pregnant brides. She had loads of good suggestions like really great print dresses, or a cream embroidered kaftan over white trousers (good cover up for swollen ankles). They've got a website too and she said that they get loads of women coming in looking for bridal wear. Quite made me wish I'd waited until I was pg to get married...

ps I never actually looked pregnant - just enormously fat. Even my eyeballs were obese. And yet every woman I know claims to have "been really lucky, I only put weight on my bump". Funny thing is, they're completely deluded as they mostly looked just as bad as I did.

rofl @ obese eyballs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks for that Polly - I'll definitely give them a try (despite my belief that all pregnant women in Islington are tall and skinny, rather than stumpy with a G cup bust, as I am now....)

Two cats - you only have to look at me for reassurance that isn't the case. Not tall, not skinny, but not even with the advantage of bounteous boobs...

Twocats - congrats on your impending nuptials! How exciting! I was actually 13 weeks pregnant at my wedding but wasn't really showing, so wore a bridal gown (also from Islington!!) - this time around, forget it - by 13 weeks I looked the way I did at 19w last time.
Push have great stuff by Leona Edmiston - she's an Aussie designer and I lived in her stuff through my 20s in Australia - beautiful, beautiful and very figure-friendly. Good luck!!

Pollyparanoia - that's such a coincidence, I'm a journalist too and do loads of wedding mag stuff. I actually think I read your piece on Push, but can't remember where.

It was for Junior Pregnancy & Baby in fact. I've never done any wedding stuff, am very much in a parenting groove at the moment (personally and professionally speaking). My wedding seems such a long time ago - I'll never be that thin again. Sigh.
P

Right, off to that London in two weeks time, and will report back in full on what I end up with - many thanks for the tips. I'll be 25 weeks by then, so interestingly stout, although I doubt my stomach will have caught up with my bust yet!

And Polly, you really don't want a bust like mine. I tried to lie face down on a sun lounger on Sunday, but was propped up at a 15 degree angle...

Hey Twocats - if you are coming to London - try Topshop on Oxford Circus - they have a maternity range and H & M on Oxford Street (there are 2 of them, you need to go to the one that is closest to Marble Arch)
I had a whole host of black tie or cocktail thingies so used these people for their maternity line at www.isabellaoliver.com - I found some fab tops there that I glammed up with a long black skirt and lots of diamante brooches etc - all of it is very flattering and very comfy and was really worth the money as I wore the tops endlessly.
-Happy shopping -

Polly - yep, I definitely read that one - in fact, that's how I heard about Push and got to know about the fact that the wonderful Leona Edmiston was even available over here in the UK. So thank you!!