Anxiety Issues

[tabs321]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to mumsnet and wanted to post to see if any other mums/mums to be have been suffering or have suffered from anxiety and also feeling low.

This is my first (I'm now at 10 weeks), very much wanted and tried for pregnancy however I've been experiencing high levels of anxiety recently. It's not specifically pregnancy related, but really anything and everything I can think of to worry about.

I have a history of anxiety and depression but took active steps to overcome it, seeking out therapy and taking antidepressants. I made good progress and I'm now off of the medication and still see my therapist once a week, which helps so much. I've been feeling good for quite some time but since hitting about 6-8 weeks pregnant (maybe earlier) my anxiety has been ridiculous and have been feeling low and tearful.

I feel guilty to feel low when I know I should be happy and feeling anxious, low, constantly nauseous and tired all the time is really getting to me. I just don't really know what to do with myself lately.

Thanks for listening and I look forward to hearing other peoples experiences/thoughts. x

Hi. I'm afraid I don't have any answers but I'm going through it too at 13 weeks pg , so I wanted you to know you're not the only one!

I too have a history of anxiety, depression and also OCD. It's been managed reasonably well in the last few years with citalopram. I came off the citalopram last August as I wanted to try to manage without. After a rocky few months coming off the pills I settled down only to fall pg around Christmas time (planned but not this quickly iyswim?)

As soon as I found out my anxiety went through the roof and my OCD also came back with a vengeance. I've been off work over a month now with anxiety and am due back tomorrow, which I'm very nervous about.

Are you working at the moment? I think work can help or hinder depending on the job. One one hand it can provide some focus/normality but on the other hand it can add to the stress if its a high-pressure job and employers aren't very understanding (mine veers between the two!)

It's good you're seeing a therapist, I've got a private counsellor and also got an NHS pregnancy-focused therapist I'm going to start seeing soon too. And even though I'm trying to stay off them for my pg, there ARE anti-depressants/anxiety medications that are considered safer in pregnancy, so you do have the option of talking to your GP about those too. For me, my OCD won't let me take them at the moment (catch-22!). But they are there.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I've helped or not but I know I find it comforting to know I'm not the only one

Hugs to you!

Xx

hi i also suffer from anxiety and very low self-esteem and confidence. i never found it much of a problem growing up as the anxiety came during pregnancy. i have always had low self-esteem and confidence issues. i found it hard to make friends and never took compliments well. it takes a while to get to know me as i am so shy when first meet people and people often mistake me for being moody :-/ i was adopted at the age of 6 after being taken into care at 4 due to abuse and drug addicted parents and was split up from my 4 sisters so i had a lot of emotional problems and find it hard to trust people. being bullied at school didn't help either. the anxiety came for me during my first pregnancy. whenever people asked if my daughter was planned and we said yes people always looked so disapproving as my partner and i look a lot younger than we are (i was 19 when fell pg but was 20 when had her. i will be 22 this yr and my partner has just turned 27) i am living in a town with only 3 friends here but they all work and live the other side of town. i got so bad that i couldn't even walk down to the convenience store 5 mins down the road without feeling like everyone was judging me and i havn't been on a bus for almost a yr now as i had a huge panic attack last time i travelled on one! anyway enough of me rambling on, what helped me was i had a banardos worker come and visit me and go into the town with me etc and she helped me think how i felt when these things happened and made me realise a lot of it was in my head. unfortunately i only saw her for a month as the outreach programme she was on ended so im on my own again now but i am considering therapy if i can't help myself. i have been telling myself i can do it and i am now going to the shop again which for me is huge. i even have a friends wedding to gonto next month and my partner is working so have no choice but to use the bus. honestly im dreading it but i figure if i can get through that i will be fine. in my opinion a lot of anxiety problems are in the head and we just need the right support and to tell ourselves we will be fine. by no means am i looking for sympathy from my post, just wanted to share my story and let you know i am here if you need to chat about anything :) as im sure others are too :) chin up and i hope things work out for you hun xxxx

Hi Gingerbreadpixie and mrsR1991,

Thank you both for taking the time to reply my post. It makes me feel lots better to know that there are others are experiencing similar feelings.

Gingerbreadpixie, I was on citalopram for around 10 months and coming off was tough. I had some side effects and had to come off them a bit slower. I am lucky in that I have a very supportive husband who's been brilliant throughout all of this and has been really looking after me.

I am working and my employer is great. They're very supportive which has helped me so much. I really do love my job and the team I work with.

I really appreciate the advice on there being medication that's safe to take while pregnant, thank you, I'm hoping things will start to feel better after 12 weeks (i've read that this can often be the case) but if not then I will go back to my Doctor to talk my options through.

Good luck with your first day back at work tomorrow and with the pregnancy therapist, I hope it goes well and that you'e able to bring the anxiety and OCD under control. Please keep me posted with your progress, I'd be really happy and interested to hear how you get on.

mrsR1991, thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm sorry to hear you had such a tough start in life, you have been through so much. I'm so pleased that you were able to find support that worked for you via Barnardo's and that you're able to go out again alone, that really is such a positive thing and the fact that you've made the decision to go to the wedding alone is great.

At my worst I found taking each day one day at a time really helped. Although it sounds like a huge cliche, time is the best healer. Seeing a therapist was one of the best things I ever did. It made me understand what was happening and what the source of the anxiety was - I'd highly recommend seeing a councillor/therapist. It really has helped me so much. I'm a totally different woman to the one I was just over a year ago when I had a breakdown.

Thank you so much for your offer of support, I'm truly grateful, and likewise, please do get in touch if you'd like to talk.

Thank you again to both of you for replying and please do keep me updated on your progress and if you'd like to post again/message me, please do feel free.

x

Hi tabs321 I'm sorry to hear you are suffering so much, have you spoken to anyone professionally about it again?

I'm also feeling very low, lower than ever.

I haven't seeked out any real professional help because I am worried they will worry about my ability to be a good mother and get other people involved. Others I have spoken to who have had help said that 'depression' being on their record has affected their employment - and at interviews they are often asked about the circumstances around their depression and feel it has hurt their chances of getting a job.

I have a dd who is 2 who I'm sure I suffered post-natal depression with. I thought I was okay and finally over it, but now I'm pregnant my thoughts are rapidly becoming darker than ever. I really don't know what to do or where to turn. I'm hoping its just hormones and they will settle shortly.

My partner knows and is supportive, but a problem shared hasn't been a problem halved. I can't talk to my wider family about it - they are all very much of the opinion that I need to "snap out of it"...whatever "it" is. Friends are pretty much non existent, had dd straight out of uni so friends are all quite far away... and we don't have much in common any more. Mums groups just make me feel more alone and worse about myself.

Right now I don't even know how to take a day at a time, I haven't managed to get back into work, (despite trying) and I love my dd but the days are long, lonely and isolating. I feel more trapped than ever. I really want to think when the nausea stops it will all be different..I'm only 6 weeks at the moment.

I hope you don't mind the message, its just nice not to feel so alone in feeling this way, especially when expecting a baby.

No advice, but wanted to put my hand up and say-me too!! I have had anxiety for 7 years and actually been agoraphobic for 2. Just before I found out I was pregnant, I had started improving. Since I found out my anxiety has been through the roof. I can just about get my son to school and back and really struggle with anything else. I get very anxious before any kind of appt. I try and make sure someone can come with me as I have no idea how I would get there otherwise.

I try and tell myself it is just anxiety, but it all feels so much harder than it did before I got pregnant. I also feel very guilty at being agoraphobic and having a baby.

I just have to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other and getting through each day....

Good luck to you all.

Tabs - I will let you know how I get on with my therapy. It starts Weds. And thanks for wishing me luck with work. I'm sure once I spend some time there it won't be so daunting.

I can't say I'm "glad" to hear of you other ladies' stories as I wish we didnt have to go through this. But I am glad to know there are others out there who understand.

The OCD is just kicking my arse at the moment. I'm just afraid constantly (of contamination) and I'm getting exhausted with it. I've had another food-related meltdown this evening (see my "vermouth" thread) and all I want to do is sleep to get some bloody escape from it.

Hi,

Just to say that I think pregnancy can be an anxious time, and certainly magnifies and anxiety issues and pregnancy issue already there. I'm due in less than 3 weeks now, and throughout the pregnancy have been, anxious, crying, panicking, feelings of depression, and generally not feeling excited. It's the most terrifying thing I've ever done. I kept being told it was hormones in the beginning, but have been referred to the perinatal team.

I didn't expect to feel like this as the pregnancy was planned, but I'll be glad when it's all over!

I'd advise you to speak to your midwife and GP when you can as there is help out there. Many of us know exactly how you feel. Xx

Hi there,

I have a long standing history of recurrent bouts of depression. I've been on all the pills, seen counsellors, had cognitive behavioural therapy.
I was told I was high risk for getting postnatal depression.
I was on citalopram 40mg when I first got pregnant and weaned myself off it as I didn't want baby affected, but I became very depressed and anxious again. In fact I had a slight breakdown and my DH had to pin me to the bed because I was screaming I wanted the baby out as I felt I might be a huge risk to the baby. Around this time I was having anger issues too. I lost my patience doing some simple DIY and took my hammer and smashed my nice tiled floor. Poor DH got shouted at all the time too.
After this incident I went straight to the doctors and took a week off work. I started back on citalopram, I know the baby may be born and may have withdrawal symptoms, I don't want that, but I have never felt more relaxed and happy through my pregnancy til now.
My baby was more at risk me being stressed, depressed and angry than me taking the anti depressants.

So my advice to you is to see your GP and midwife and if you decided to have treatment don't see it as a bad thing but a good thing.
We are going to be mums soon and we have to weigh up what is best.

Good luck xxx

I understand what's its like for all of you I have been there!

I am on a low dose anti depressant and 23wks pregnant. I was horribly anxious till around 18wks pregnant.

I was honest with my midwife and doctor and they have been brilliant at supporting me. I find I have slumps every 4wks or so and I am convinced it is hormonal and a kind of pms in pregnancy thing.

Things that have seriously helped me have been exercise although its becoming very difficult. Focusing on the good things that are going to happen and preparing for baby coming. But mostly talking to people, friends, family and professionals have all be brilliant.

Please remember hormones when your pregnant and after birth can cause havoc to your system. Good luck.

Hello everyone,

Thank you all so much for your posts and sharing your experiences with me. I wish none of us were experiencing these anxiety issues but it is good to know that other people out there understand it. I visited my doctor but I feel the advice I received wasn't very good, which is a huge shame. My midwife however was very understanding and I have been offered help should I need it which is great.

I'm still going to my therapy sessions and these help so much. I'm very lucky in that I have a very supportive husband who has been amazing.

Good luck to all of you and know you're not alone. I found taking one day at a time and trying to keep as positive as possible when I was at my very worst really helped, it wasn't easy, but it really did help.

xx

I suffer from anxiety too which has gotten worse during pregnancy, I think because of all my hormones being all over the place. I've been prescribed beta blockers to help with panic attacks.