35 wks with baby no.2 - starting to panic about another horrific birth. Will it be easier this time around?

[clarehk]

My first birth was pretty horrendous, a 40 hour labour, epidural didn't work, unimaginable pain, episiotomy, alone in labour room for hours and hours as they wouldn't let husband in (live in hong kong) ... i swore I would never have another baby but here I am at 35 weeks! Have changed hospitals and am assured hubby will be able to be there but still very scared of a repeat performance. Will it be easier this time?

My friends had your experience first time round - the second time it was over in four hours, no tearing and she was still wearing earrings and full make up. So it can happen.

glad your husband will be able to be with you. You will feel so much more in control this time. Have you discussed this with the midwife? What did they say?

Thx HumphreyCobbler, I need some more stories like that! As I'm giving birth in a public hospital you don't see the same midwife/dr from visit to visit and my antenatal check-ups are very brief. As long as the baby is OK they send you on your way. There is no such thing as bedside manners here! And then there is the language barrier, my Chinese isn't very good. During my first delivery I really felt I was losing my mind with the pain and that's what I'm most scared about.

Please let me have a lovely four hour labour!!

Hi Clarehk
I am with you on this. I am 25 weeks pregnant and had what sounds like a very similar erxperience to you which landed me in theatre and five days in hospital due to blood loss. It was a terrifying and horrendous experience which I am so desperate to move on from but the further I get along the scarier the next labour seems.
I try to find comfort in the amount of people who have second 'easier' births and that 2 labours are never the same. And it was all totally worth it for my beautiful DS so will be for baby 2 as well.
I have also started using hynobirthing CDs andf DVDs which seem to help a bit and certainly help me remain in control of my emotions/ panic levels. :-)

My 1st labour was also horrendous, 50 hours, 2 failed ventouse followed by episiotomy and forceps. I was in agony for days after also. 2nd birth was 5.5 hours from 1st twinge to delivery, I only needed a small amount of gas and air and felt fine after. Was up and showering 15 minutes after!

THank you all for all sharing your positive experiences 2nd time round! I think I will get a hypnobirthing book/dvd cos as you recommend RoseGarden123, at the least I hope it can help me to feel calm in the next few weeks.